Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Dating 101 or How to Find a Man in Lisaland....Is There Anybody Out There?

I was watching some sitcom recently where a woman was divorced and back out on the dating circuit. She was lamenting to a friend how much she hated having to go through all of this again...especially at her age (which appeared to be very close to mine). In the midst of it all she told her friend that this was not fair. She had done this once and she was suppose to still be with the man who remembers what she "used" to look like. I could so relate to this statement. When I met my husband, I was young, thin and not too bad to look at. Now I am old, not thin and I don't even want to look at me. Everything that once stood proudly on it's own...has now drifted so far south I am afraid I may trip on it. I used to color my hair because I wanted to play with the color....now I do it to cover up the blinding gray/white streaks glaring back at me. The eyes are bad, the wrinkles are predominate and everything either creeks or rattles when I walk. I.... like the lady in the sitcom am suppose to be with a man who remembers the old days and has fond enough memories of them that he doesn't mind my age spots and I don't mind his lack of a hair line.

With a description like this....is it any wonder the men aren't knocking down my door?  The fact is though....this is who I am. I am no longer a young girl, I am a middle aged woman and as middle aged women go, I am pretty much dead center of what we all look like. Granted....some have aged much better than me, but then again.....some have aged much worse. I lie somewhere in the middle between  having everything surgically altered and having no teeth and wearing a moo moo. The sad thing is....most of the men my age don't look a lot better and yet they are delusional to the point of thinking that they are going to get some hot 20 year old. That's right guys....every beautiful, single young woman dreams of finding herself with a balding, over weight, creeky middle aged man. Get real! But somehow in their deluded minds they seem to think they have a shot. They constantly roll right past the middle aged women whom they might actually have a shot with and go straight for the 20 year old eye candy who in turn lets them spend the evening buying them drinks....only to  end up leaving with the hunky 20 something cowboy. And this is why the thought of dating again makes me feel nauseous.

Another big draw back is how I watch men treat women. I have been treated badly by men in the past, but my husband treated me like a queen. He never disrespected me nor did he allow anyone else to either. Men today though....they don't have those qualities. They either come onto women like bulls in heat or they act like all women are their b!tches. I have seen this in public places, I have seen it on facebook and the other day I saw a guy screaming at his girlfriend/wife in a car stopped at a traffic light. He was telling her she was a stupid f....ing b!tch and she never did anything right and that she was lucky he wasted his time with her. REALLY???? This is what the relationship world has come to?

I honestly am trying to keep an open mind though, because I do know there are good guys out there. There just aren't alot of guys in my vicinity who are available/interested. What I keep running into is that the ones who are interested....are not available and the ones who are available...are not interested. This little issue makes dating just the teensiest bit difficult. There is also the whole thing where I really don't put myself out there either. I don't go above and beyond to meet a guy....ever. I have my own little world and my own little routine....and I don't vary from it too much. One....because I really can't and two.....because I really don't want to. I am not 20 anymore and the bar scene is just not my style. I don't really go out with groups anymore either because everyone is busy and they have their own lives....so going out for me is really rare. Basically this means....that unless Mr. Right needs his computer fixed, happens to be at a doctors office/ER/hospital the same time I am, or comes strolling through my living room.....my chances of finding someone in this decade are probably slim to none. Good Lord....I need some help!

So it comes down to the fact that I know what I don't want in a man and what I do want (sort of), but there is that whole matter of me not being 20 and never leaving my comfort zone. Could it be that I am destined to be alone the rest of my life....or is there someone out there just as sick of the games as I am? Someone who is just as tired of fighting age, gravity and a youth obsessed world and who would be happy with just the knowledge that I used to look good? Yeah...I have my doubts too but hope springs eternal and after all....that is what this blog is all about Dating 101 or How to Find a Man in Lisaland. Wish me luck....cause I am really beginning to wonder....Is there anybody out there?

And in light of that sentiment.....here is hoping that your Tuesday is full of wonderful possibilities and lots and lots of joy!


19 comments:

Thiry said...

Your description of yourself is a little rough. I don't think bars are the place to meet men, not sure where is though, it seems to happen when you least think about it. However it probably won't be your living room unless of course you have a new handyman over everyday....hahaha....sorry couldn't help myself. I think there are alot of men like you said looking at the younger girls but I think there are still plenty who prefer older women, whose main goal in life is not partying. I have seen many people get together due to a family member or friend introducing a person, many happened that way in my family, let your friends help.

Anonymous said...

Again? Do you really hate men so much that you have to dog them in every post. It is no wonder you can't find a guy. I don't care what your cmom fans say. You are rude and hateful. You pin men as jerks and only after one thing. In reality it seems that you are only after one thing and that is someone who will make "your" life easier. What happened to the days of when the man provided for the family and the woman took care of her man. It sounds to me like you want someone to provide for you, fix up your broken down house and take care of you too. You sure aren't willing to give much in return. You sound pretty darn lazy and I think you are right. The chances of you finding someone with that attitude are slim and none. I think any man with a brain would run as far away from you as possible. Maybe you should just give up the before you embarrass yourself further.

Anonymously yours,
Anonymous

Thiry said...

Anon are you a man? or just a Jackass....and further more why do you care so much? Only someone who cares would be so harsh and offensive otherwise you would just read it and go on or not read it at all...you really do care...

Marni said...

OMGosh Anonymous!!! LAZY?! Lisa LAZY!!? You yourself are doing the same thing that you are accusing Lisa of....you are just making up your opinions on one or two things that she writes in her blogs and just holding on like a pit bull. You have no idea as to what you are speaking about. Lisa is the LEAST lazy person that I know. How dare you even make that comment.
AND she DID NOT make her thoughts off of ONE thing that she saw....she has had a life time of things that she pulls her stories from. She does not just pull these life long lessons out of her BUTT!!! and move into the real world honey.....the days of the "Man" providing for his famiy and the "Wife" taking care of him are far gone. Its a 50/50 world today. I EXPECT my husband to be there for me as much as I am there for him. This is NOT the 1950's!!
Im not quite sure where you are coming from but really.....stop reading LIsas blogs if they offend you as much as you profess that they do.
Sorry Lisa! I just couldnt help myslef!!

J'nelle said...

OMG Anonymous, why don't you shut the hell up and get a life. What is your issue? Are you a guy or girl? Do you even know? Sounds to me like you either have a thing for cmom and don't like her talking about dating or you are just someone who likes to start drama. Each time you post you get a little nastier and a little crueler to cmom. I don't know her personally but from reading her blog I am pretty sure she doesn't deserve this kind of abuse. I bet there are dozens of men out there who would love to date cmom and maybe that is what pisses you off so much. You need to crawl back under that rock you came from and let people enjoy cmom's blog like they were intended. Great blog cmom and I know there is some special guy out there just dying for a chance with you.

littlemdl said...

Wow! Anonymous strikes again huh? Number one Anonymous maybe you should shut your chauvinist mouth before you find out just what the rath of cmom fans is really like. I almost find you comical really. How can you say she has a warped sense of what a man should be when you just wrote how a man should provide and a woman take care of him! Ha! If only that would EVER be the case! Most men these days and I say most, are all about themselves and what's in it for them. You obviously haven't been on the dating scene lately. Please do us all a favor and quit reading her blogs!!!! It would be great if you would keep to yourself and maybe you can start your own blog on how women are to be subservient towards the men in their lives! That would be great!

Ben said...

Pardon my language people but fuck this. Anonymous who the hell do you think you are? I know Lisa personally and speaking as one of those guys who would knows what a great woman she is, you need to shut the fuck up. If my situation was different, I would be knocking down her door and doing whatever it took to get this woman in my life. Hell I would wear a toolbelt and fix anything she needed repaired and by the way, pretty nasty remark about her having a broken down house. In fact, the who thing was pretty darn mean and unnecessary. You darn right Lisa has a fan club because those that know her, love her. I suggest you step off before you find out just how much this woman is cared about.

Ben

littlemdl said...

I kinda like Ben now....just sayin..... Nice to see someone have your back Ms Lisa....

Anonymous said...

Do you guys just crawl out of the woodwork? Why do you care what I say to cmom? She is just another blogger who thinks her words mean something. Cmom you better just stick with talking about you special needs kid and your god and all the things that you think the world wants to hear you rant about because with everything else you are out of your league. After reading your blog, what man would want you anyway? You are a drain on society and you and your fan club are a drain on my patience.

Anonymous

Anonymous said...

Dear anon.....you have no flipping idea what u are talking about!! Lazy? I hardly think so. You needto walk a day in her life, and trust me, you would change your tone. I have read your posts and I never reply, however, I am tired of your negativity! You don't ever seem to have a kind word to say about anything or anyone. Do you only read her blog so you make people mad with your negativity? I must say, I feel sorry for you. If you are truly a kind person.......you fail to show it on here. I truly hope that you will find the goodness in people.

Thiry said...

Can anyone say "Psycho"...and I do stand behind an earlier observation that Anon is #1 Just writing this stuff to get a rise out of people, which by the way seems to be working, congrats Anon. or #2 They have a mental issue and I am not saying that trying to be funny, I work with the mentally ill and well I needn't say anymore. I am asking all readers of this blog to just pretend Anons posts are not there, do not respond to them...eventually they will go away, when there is no reinforcement of their behavior...have a nice day all...

Marni said...

OK first of all let me let everyone know tha the last Anonymous IS NOT the original Anonymous!! It is a friend of Lisas (CrissaKay) and didnt know that she was going to come up as Anonymous

Marni said...

First of all Ben....I think Im liking you too!!!!
And Thiry....I believe that you are correct...I think Anom is posting just to get a rise out of people. And like you said, its working.
Im almost (and I mean ALMOST) amd feeling sorry for Anonymous because their life must really suck!!! for them to come on her and pick the way that they do...Im guessing that they have nothing better to do...sad just so sad.
Hey Anonymous......GET A LIFE!!!!!

Angela Marie said...

I also read this blog daily. This is actually one of my favorites because cmom is so real and her blog is about real things. Finding a man in today's world is a reality for many women because of divorce, widowhood or just plain being a late bloomer. I have gained a lot of respect for this woman in all that she has been through and I can't imagine how hard it is for her to try and put herself back out there in light of all she has been through. Still it sounds like she is trying and she is doing it with humor and even a funny kind of grace. Don't know that I could be so brave as to do something like this and inviting the world to watch. Anonymous, I have no idea who you are but my bet is that whoever you are, you are jealous. It is as simple as that. If you are a woman you are jealous that you are not half the woman she is and if you are a man you are jealous that you will never get a woman half as good as she is. I say we all give cmom a round of applause for this brave new journey she is on and and a great big thank you for bringing us all along for the ride. I can't wait to read next weeks installment I am sure as always, it will be great.

Angela Marie

Roy said...

I agree with almost everything that everybody has posted. Exept Anon. of course. That man is in more dire need of a blowjob than any other human on earth.

Good luck Lisa. And thanks for helping me come up woith my next blog.

Cmom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Norm said...

Hi Lisa: Enjoyed your blog today. I can relate except from a different gendered viewpoint. I am certain there are plenty of men who would be anxious and happy to spend time with you. If you want it, I'm sure it will happen if you just let it. As for your fan, anonymous..., I have a fan too. I don't waste a lot of time reading my fan's ranting, and while I don't intend to be rude to you, I don't read your fan past the first sentence or so. What they have to say to or about you isn't going to change how I've come to think and feel about you. Again... Good job on the blog.

LisaAnne said...

I just laughed out loud as I read your post. I relate to the sentiments you share about dating again. It is crazy!

Some man is out there thinking the very same things you are about wanting to find someone like you who will love someone like him.

And who knows. Maybe he will be checking out produce at your local grocery store. Or maybe he will be the one who has the good fortune to stand near you in a line somewhere.

But no matter what, God has someone special in mind for you, becuase you deserve it. And that special man deserves you!

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