Dating 101 or How to Find a Man in Lisaland....Is There Anybody Out There?
I was watching some sitcom recently where a woman was divorced and back out on the dating circuit. She was lamenting to a friend how much she hated having to go through all of this again...especially at her age (which appeared to be very close to mine). In the midst of it all she told her friend that this was not fair. She had done this once and she was suppose to still be with the man who remembers what she "used" to look like. I could so relate to this statement. When I met my husband, I was young, thin and not too bad to look at. Now I am old, not thin and I don't even want to look at me. Everything that once stood proudly on it's own...has now drifted so far south I am afraid I may trip on it. I used to color my hair because I wanted to play with the color....now I do it to cover up the blinding gray/white streaks glaring back at me. The eyes are bad, the wrinkles are predominate and everything either creeks or rattles when I walk. I.... like the lady in the sitcom am suppose to be with a man who remembers the old days and has fond enough memories of them that he doesn't mind my age spots and I don't mind his lack of a hair line.
With a description like this....is it any wonder the men aren't knocking down my door? The fact is though....this is who I am. I am no longer a young girl, I am a middle aged woman and as middle aged women go, I am pretty much dead center of what we all look like. Granted....some have aged much better than me, but then again.....some have aged much worse. I lie somewhere in the middle between having everything surgically altered and having no teeth and wearing a moo moo. The sad thing is....most of the men my age don't look a lot better and yet they are delusional to the point of thinking that they are going to get some hot 20 year old. That's right guys....every beautiful, single young woman dreams of finding herself with a balding, over weight, creeky middle aged man. Get real! But somehow in their deluded minds they seem to think they have a shot. They constantly roll right past the middle aged women whom they might actually have a shot with and go straight for the 20 year old eye candy who in turn lets them spend the evening buying them drinks....only to end up leaving with the hunky 20 something cowboy. And this is why the thought of dating again makes me feel nauseous.
Another big draw back is how I watch men treat women. I have been treated badly by men in the past, but my husband treated me like a queen. He never disrespected me nor did he allow anyone else to either. Men today though....they don't have those qualities. They either come onto women like bulls in heat or they act like all women are their b!tches. I have seen this in public places, I have seen it on facebook and the other day I saw a guy screaming at his girlfriend/wife in a car stopped at a traffic light. He was telling her she was a stupid f....ing b!tch and she never did anything right and that she was lucky he wasted his time with her. REALLY???? This is what the relationship world has come to?
I honestly am trying to keep an open mind though, because I do know there are good guys out there. There just aren't alot of guys in my vicinity who are available/interested. What I keep running into is that the ones who are interested....are not available and the ones who are available...are not interested. This little issue makes dating just the teensiest bit difficult. There is also the whole thing where I really don't put myself out there either. I don't go above and beyond to meet a guy....ever. I have my own little world and my own little routine....and I don't vary from it too much. One....because I really can't and two.....because I really don't want to. I am not 20 anymore and the bar scene is just not my style. I don't really go out with groups anymore either because everyone is busy and they have their own lives....so going out for me is really rare. Basically this means....that unless Mr. Right needs his computer fixed, happens to be at a doctors office/ER/hospital the same time I am, or comes strolling through my living room.....my chances of finding someone in this decade are probably slim to none. Good Lord....I need some help!
So it comes down to the fact that I know what I don't want in a man and what I do want (sort of), but there is that whole matter of me not being 20 and never leaving my comfort zone. Could it be that I am destined to be alone the rest of my life....or is there someone out there just as sick of the games as I am? Someone who is just as tired of fighting age, gravity and a youth obsessed world and who would be happy with just the knowledge that I used to look good? Yeah...I have my doubts too but hope springs eternal and after all....that is what this blog is all about Dating 101 or How to Find a Man in Lisaland. Wish me luck....cause I am really beginning to wonder....Is there anybody out there?
And in light of that sentiment.....here is hoping that your Tuesday is full of wonderful possibilities and lots and lots of joy!