It's Sunday and as with most Sunday's my mind is fragmented into many different thoughts....so I hope you will forgive this blog and whatever tangent it takes off on!!!
This last week was a crazy busy one where I felt I gained some ground (I made more cheesecakes than I can count and made it to the gym twice!!!!) and I lost a little ground...(I didn't get accomplished everything I would have like to have and I lagged a little). All in all though....it was another great week and these positive emotions continue to rise in me. I think they are called true happiness....but it is still too early to call.
I know there has been a major break through in my attitude as it was put to the test this week. Someone close to me told me their thoughts on the lack of God and used David to site this belief. At the moment I was truly upset and angry that someone (someone close to me especially) would see David and his different abilities as a reason to discount the existence of God or a Higher Power. It is always a blow to me that David could be seen as anything other than the as close to perfect being that he is and was created to be. David has been the cause of more smiles, more laughs and more joy in his 11 years than some 9 times his age ever are responsible for. David is smart and funny and definitely has a mind of his own. What he lacks in perceived human perfection he has multitudes of in actual human achievement. He has beat the odds over and over again and still comes out ahead of the game every time. To see David as anything less than a wonderful little man with a beautiful soul and an ornery sense of self is disheartening. And to further use this skewed vision of David as an excuse to deny God.....well it is nothing but BULL!
Of course I put my two cents in and let them know that of all things....David is one of the huge reasons I DO believe in God. David has been a miracle since his conception and every breath, every milestone and every smile has been evidence that not only is there a God but He is a God who sees us all as perfection. Imperfection is a human word....bred by humans, perpetuated by humans and unfortunately used against God. God gives this world Davids in the hope that they will be the miracle that turns someone around, to show us the love that is in someone so pure of heart and to hopefully teach us kindness, gentleness and the ability to see God's finest works here on earth.
Perception is everything. This whole conversation told me that the issue was not with God at all...but with human perception and this individuals perception of David was not of a strong fighter who has and will always beat the odds. They don't see David as special in an extraordinary way...they see him as special in a sad, not quite good enough way. They see him as less and therefore treat him as such instead of realizing that he has skills and abilities that they will never begin to see or themselves achieve because they choose to focus on the unimportant instead of the things that really matter.
My anger ended the moment that I realized how sad their life must be to have to use David to back up their own negative beliefs. Their belief or lack there of in God or a Higher Power is theirs to have and theirs to reconcile in this life and the next. I only wish that their convictions on their beliefs were strong enough not to have to use my child as a poster child when he is nothing but an obvious almost perfect being created by a definite Higher Power. It ended there. I forgave and moved on which is something that this imperfect being has a lot of trouble with.
I also did a lot of thinking this week about two stars who left this earth in the last weeks. The first star was Whitney Houston. If you were alive and coherent in the 80's and early 90's you knew who Whitney was. When she first started her career....she was stunning. She was the girl-next-door wrapped in a quiet sexiness with the voice of an angel. She was a definite men wanted her and girls wanted to be her story. Out of the gate....it seemed that there was nothing that this talented young woman couldn't conquer if she wanted to....and it was true.....to a point.
After success in music and movies.....her demon's began to show themselves. Whether it was the pitfalls of success or some deep place of unhappiness....Whitney found herself self medicating and soon fighting an addiction she simply couldn't conquer. For years we watched her struggle to regain the voice and the talent that seemed to be waning with every binge. Eventually though....the addictions won and Whitney lost. Her death made the airwaves like all unexpected deaths do. But was it? Was it really unexpected? As I said....we had watched her fall apart right before our very eyes for years and how much abuse can a body take? Should we have been that shocked?
I was sad to hear of Whitney's passing. Mostly I was sad for what might have been. Yes....we lost a talent, but honestly.....we lost that years ago. What we truly lost was a shell of her former self who still hadn't been able to climb out of her addiction. Sadly...for two weeks though....her death was still touted in the media almost above the trouble in Iran. She was headline news and honestly the fan fair was neither warranted nor did it do her justice. In fact it was so much that people were literally getting sick of hearing the name Whitney Houston. It was overkill with every detail of her personal life both positive and negative being aired out for the world to see. Not a good way to leave this world or to be remembered in it. RIP Whitney. I hear heaven has no paparazzi.
Then this week....we lost another great. He didn't have Whitney's media play nor her dirty laundry (although I am sure his life wasn't quite squeaky clean) but in the 1960's and early 70's Davy Jones could definitely have rivaled Whitney for a place in pop culture. Davy Jones became known to most of us as one of the crazy, zany Monkees that we watched every Saturday morning. They were an American version of the Beatles....although Davy was very British himself. He was short, cute and had a voice that girls swooned to. (Yes....I said swooned!) Even after the Monkees, when he made his famous appearance on the Brady Bunch and took Marsha to the prom...his good looks and British charm still had hearts a flutter.
In the 80's when retro bands where making a comeback and the Monkees (at least most of the Monkees) did a revival tour.....the young girls of the 60's who were now the housewives of the 80's flocked in droves to see the Monkees and yes....get their Davy fix. Even as he aged he was still handsome and could make the ladies swoon. I always hoped that they would be making their way back to Kansas again (I missed them their first time around) and that I too could bask in the glow of Davy, but sadly.....that was not to be. Last week he was found dead after having a massive heart attack in his sleep. Albeit not a horrible way to go....in your sleep, it was a way too early end (he was only 66) to an era. Never again would we hear him sing "Cheer up Sleepy Jean" or "I Wanna Be Free" nor would we hear the Monkees as a complete band singing "Pleasant Valley Sunday" or "Take a Giant Step." I was really sad.
On the reporting of his death....there was no dirty laundry. There was no incessant media coverage where we had to watch his body being taken from his home or commentators speculating on "why" he had his heart attack. We would not be waiting for toxicology reports or debate his life endlessly and dessimate anything private so that his family would have to suffer further. There were simply fans looking up his music and sharing it on facebook and twitter and reminiscence of old shows and concerts. It was a fitting end to a 60's icon.
Yep two very different endings to two very different lives. Life is not perfect. People are not perfect and to judge perfection with human frailties is extremely faulty thinking.