Monday, March 25, 2013

Act Like a Lady


Well....I have for the most part stayed away from facebook for the last five weeks. However, I do check in for my messages and the other day as I was checking in....a post caught my eye. I will admit that I felt the need to read on further. The post said: ACT LIKE A LADY! It caught my eye because I can't tell you the number of times growing up that my mother said those exact words to me. It was ingrained in me from the moment I had any understanding of anything....and it stays with me to this day.

The post that it came from was from a Mary Kay fb friend of mine who had been at MK Career Conference (at least I think that is what it was.) According to the post...at the conference this is what the speaker spoke about. As a former MK lady myself....I know that in essence this is what MK is all about...and honestly you would have to search far and wide to find a greater or more gracious lady than the late MK founder.....Mary Kay Ash. She was the epitome of the southern lady, but her lady likeness was not to be confused with weakness for a true lady is strong beyond measure.

At any rate....after reading the post, I couldn't help but think what a underused statement "Act like a lady,"  seems to be in our current society. We live in a world where girls wear the shortest skirts with no underwear and have no shame when their dress hikes up. Young girls have mouths that could make a sailor blush and the only thing left to the imagination with their wardrobe choices is what their internal organs look like. I don't shock all that easy.....but I can say that their have been times waiting to pick my kids up from the middle and high schools that I have been totally shocked at what some girls seem to think is school attire. I can't help but wonder if their parents actually saw them walk out the door that morning or if they are simply preparing their girls for a career on a street corner. Where have all the ladies gone? What's more....when did my generation decide that we didn't need to teach our girls how to dress or conduct themselves like ladies?

Don't get me wrong...I am not suggesting we start dressing our girls in burkas, but I am suggesting that perhaps we dress them age appropriately. No middle school girl needs to wear her clothes so tight that we can see her kidneys nor do they need to wear so much makeup that they actually start to melt when sunlight hits them. As for high school girls....while they have their own clothing issues...my biggest concern with them is their mouths. I have never heard such filth and disrespect for teachers, parents and other students come from the mouths of such otherwise attractive girls. Again.....when did we as parents suddenly find this acceptable behavior in our teens.....let alone our girls? 

Sadly even if you go a few years older....the situation is not much different. It is nothing to go out to a bar (yes....I do occasionally get out to town) and see women in their twenties and thirties straddling men in a chair (this is not a strip bar mind you) or giving a guy a lap dance to the music. Again...most have everything they own hanging out and again...the way they talk and present themselves....well unladylike doesn't even begin to scratch the surface. And we won't even go into the way they dance on the dance floor. In my day that was called foreplay....NOT dancing! When and how did this happen? How did we go from a generation of girls who wore bike shorts under short dresses to prevent wardrobe malfunctions and who might cuss on occasion but rarely said the f-word to a generation who has no shame or modesty physically or verbally?

Granted....I am not speaking of all girls, but I am speaking of a majority. Did their mothers never tell them to "Act like a lady?" Whats more....did their mothers fail to show them just how a lady acts? One theory I have heard and I think might not be too far off the rails is Women's Lib. When women decided they were the same as men....men quit looking at them as ladies....because women quit acting like ladies. In some sort of need to prove themselves....women lost themselves. Women quit dressing sexy and started dressing slutty. Little did they realize that this didn't show attractiveness....it showed a sad lack of self-esteem. What's more....men are not all that complex. You put sexy next to slutty and a man 9 times out of 10 will pick sexy every time.

How do we expect our girls to understand the meaning of ladylike if they are not taught? So what is ladylike anyway? It starts with self-confidence and self-respect. It carries on to respect for others. It is not merely the ability to dress attractively without showing the world everything you have and some of what you don't, but it is also the ability to carry on a conversation with less than five f-bombs in it and to speak respectfully to and about others. A lady knows less is more and you don't have to give a guy a lap dance to get his attention.

Okay....so perhaps I was a bit soap boxish today. It is what it is. All I know is....I thank my mom, Mary Kay Ash and the other wonderful women in my life.....from the bottom of my heart for teaching me not just with words but also by example....to Act like a lady.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

I couldn't possibly love this more. Great blog!

Anonymous said...

I don't think I have read a blog I agree with more. Are there any ladies out there under the age of 35?

Anonymous said...

Lady is a term I seldom hear. I hear bitch, slut and whore and this is just girls talking to each other, but never lady. I don't think today's girls even understand the terminology let alone use it. Nice blog.

Anonymous said...

Some of this made me laugh, like when you talk about the clothes being so tight you can see their kidney's. The way you said it was humorous but the truth in it is not. Nice piece of writing. I think I will share.

Anonymous said...

This is a great blog! I do believe that the art of teaching our young girls how to be a lady is a lost art. I believe that there are still some out there that do teach or try but in the outside world its hard to keep it up. I remember the first year my daughter was in college and man! that F word was THE word of the moment. I finally asked her to please stop....her response...."Mom! its not really a bad word anymore...its more of just an adjective for us. All my friends say it." MY response...."Well I AM NOT your friend and would appreciate if you would stop using it around me!" And she did.
Ive done the best that I could with BOTH my kids in teaching my daughter to "Act like a lady" and my son to "Act like a gentlemen" and I just hope that they do. Oh I know they will have their time and their moments but in the end I believe deep down that when push came to shove they do the right thing and be respectful!!!
And just to be totally honest....I have thrown the F word around myself. BUT only when Im so beyond mad...and my kids know this. Does that make it right? No...but wanted to be honest.
Great blog

Anonymous said...

I so disagree with this. First of all how someone dresses does not make them a lady. Being a girl makes them a lady. You just don't like it when girls try to express their own style. I am in high school and I dress sexy just like all my friends. My mom not only is okay with it but she buys the clothes I wear. I cuss too. Fuck is a work and it is only a bad word when you see it that way. I would rather hear someone say that than GD. I am sure when you did the jitterbug or whatever stupid dance moves they did when you were young that your parents thought they were dirty too. I am a lady because I am a girl and because I am pretty and mostly nice. How I dress to express myself has nothing to do with it. Oh and you shouldn't be looking at peoples kidneys!

Anonymous said...

I am sorry. I just had to comment and laugh at the comment above. She couldn't have made your point any better had she tried. She obviously knows nothing about being a lady and NO honey. Being a girl does not equal being a lady. Great blog.

J'nelle said...

Two days in a row and two great blogs in a row. I love it. My mom actually did bring me up to be a lady and most days I am! (:

Anonymous said...

I would really like to know the difference between sexy and slutty. I thought they were basically the same.

Anonymous said...

You said it. A lady has confidence and self respect. That is why they can pull off sexy. Slutty is the way of dressing that shows no self-respect. You don't respect yourself when you put all of your private business on display. That is not sexy. That is saying I am cheap, easy and really don't like myself very much! That is the difference between sexy and slutty.

Anonymous said...

Comment to above, yes fuck is a word, fuck is also what people do, it's also another word for sex, sex and fuck belong in the bedroom or where ever you have sex, yes I'm assuming you have sex. When in public nobody wants to hear you saying fuck, even though you may think you sound cool, or whatever your word is now, because I'm sure it's way cooler than back in the jitterbug days...lol...

Anonymous said...

Well said to anonymous above. Just because you can say something doesn't mean you should or that anyone wants to hear it coming out of your mouth. Being a girl does not insure you being a lady. Any female is a girl but being a lady is something to strive for and achieve. Using the f word makes you a lot of things, but a lady is not one of them.