Sometimes....when it seems that things are circling the drain and you can't count on much of anything...maybe that is when God is telling us it is time to start counting our blessings. And yes...you may quote me.....she said with a smile.
It is a new work/school week and although the temp is only about 25 here, there is blessedly no wind. (A blessing if you live in Kansas). The forecast this morning was extremely encouraging that perhaps we are seeing the tail end of winter. (Could this be another blessing?) Next week is spring break and it looks as if it will be lovely. I can't wait as I will have surgery behind me and hopefully have things in better order all the way around.
This weekend was really nice. Friday I had everything cleaned and Saturday and Sunday I just relaxed. The best part of yesterday was getting to spend the afternoon with two wonderful friends. One from out of town and one from in town. Sadly....I never see either of them enough. It was nice to laugh, over talk each other and just have fun. It occurred to me as we were chatting that I simply do not laugh enough. I must remedy that!
Yesterday's blog took me four hours to write and when I finally hit publish.....I still wasn't sure that my words captured what my heart and mind were trying to convey. I know this is a concern of many bloggers, but usually not a concern of mine. I usually have no qualms about my blogs....but according to some...perhaps I should. I received quite a few comments on the blog and then a number more through facebook. A good many were complimentary but there were a few that were full on attacks about how I could post such a "narrow minded" view. I was also taken to task by a couple of other people on past political posts.....and on my fb posts. I had one say they had unfriended me because my fb posts were negative and brought them down. Naturally there was no name attached....and quite honestly, I really don't care who said it because of course I respect their right to voice any opinion they choose. Obviously though....that tolerance is not a two way street for some. Others again....told me that I was basically crazy for my beliefs and that people (guess they considered themselves a majority) were sick of what I had to say. I would like to say that like most times it all just slid away like water off a ducks back, but yesterday it didn't. Maybe it was because I didn't feel a 100% or maybe it just caught me in the wrong mood.....whatever the case though, the words stayed with me all day and even through last night. It was nothing that hasn't been said to me before and don't get me wrong.....it didn't hurt my feelings, it actually just made me mad. WHY? I am usually not one to give anyone else power over my emotions....unless of course you are my dad, but that is a whole other story. So why did I let people make me mad? Why did I care what anyone thought? It really did bug me.
Waking up this morning....I felt better all the way around and answers seemed to come more readily. I think the reason that the comments made me mad was because it was another case of people who claims to be "tolerant" of different beliefs, cultures and schools of thought....right up until someone says something they don't agree with. At that point...all bets are off and suddenly tolerance is thrown out the window. The word hypocrite comes to mind....but then again....I am not much of a name caller.
I get really tired of words being thrown around like "tolerance" and "acceptance" when to many they are terribly one sided. "I tolerate you as long as you think like I do." "I accept you as long as you say what I want to hear and support only that which I support." However.....if you do think for yourself and your thoughts aren't what some considered the status quo, then other words are used. "Narrow minded," "illiterate," "racist," "terrorist," "anti-woman," and those are just the ones I can repeat in polite company. It did occur to me though after a good nights sleep that there are always going to be people who will bury their head in the sand, allow others to think for them and shy away from anything that doesn't make them rainbows and unicorn happy. They live in a rose colored world and refuse to allow anything in that doesn't either agree with their way of thinking or makes them have to think outside their bubble. Now I am not being critical. I myself have done some pretty lengthy vacationing in denial land. I have turned off the news, hidden some posts on fb and refused to read anything that might make believe that anything outside my world could actually affect and disturb my world. Sometimes when you have a lot on your plate....this is the only way you can exist and maintain your sanity at the same time.
My issue now is this. I am no longer in my 20's, 30's or even 40's. I see life through much different eyes than I did back then and experience has taught me a great deal. I have learned that just because you don't want to hear something doesn't make it any less true, that nothing is guaranteed us and that life can change and turn inside out with every breath we take. I have also learned that never speaking out makes you part of the problem, having your own thoughts makes you an individual and letting those who disagree with you have control of you....is a recipe for disaster.
I guess what it boils down to is that yesterday the once shy and non-confrontational little girl that I used to be came to the for front and it bothered me not that others disagreed with what I had to say.....but that somehow I had failed because I hadn't pleased everyone with my words. Apparently that people pleaser gene still lies just below the surface and yesterday it decided to show itself. The truth is....I am not sorry for anything I say because I am always careful to never be hateful or vindictive in my blogs or on fb. My opinions are my own and I don't claim to speak for anyone but myself. Bottom line though....there will always be those who view a difference of opinion or something that makes them think outside their own comfort zone as hateful and vindictive and there is simply nothing I can do about it. I am honestly grateful that people take the time to read what I have to say whether they agree with me or not and 99 and 9/10% of the time.....I am thrilled with all comments positive or negative. In fact the negative ones are welcomed because it tells me that someone not only read what I had to say.....but they actually thought about what I said. It stayed with them enough that they couldn't help but comment. It shows that words...my words for a brief few minutes held their attention, made them feel and caused a reaction....and quite honestly.....what more could any writer want? (Yep....another blessing!)