Tuesday, April 9, 2013

The Crying Game

Do you ever just plant your feet firmly and say...."What the hell is wrong with me?" I have been doing that a lot lately. It seems like I am just one big emotional ball of bleh! For lack of a better word. I seem to be tearing up or God forbid.....actually crying over everything. If you know me....I am not normally a crier, so all of these emotional water works are really starting to wear on me.

Yesterday Annette Funicello....the beautiful Disney Mouseketeer who will forever be a teenager in my eyes, passed away. It was sad and yes, it got to me....but not until I saw the picture of Mickey Mouse crying did the tears start to flow. THAT really got to me. I had tears running down my face and I was trying to figure out why. Of course this was not my first tearfest of the day. I had teared up earlier seeing the picture of Ronald Reagan and Margaret Thatcher together. Yeah....I have no explanation.

Over the weekend I stupidly watched the original Steel Magnolia's. Darn that movie! I cried, I laughed and I cried some more. Okay....I am sure I am not the only one to ever get misty over this movie, but really!!!! This had to have been my 100th time seeing it. Surely there is a point where the movie has been seen so many times and the plot is so expected that tears no longer flow! Apparently not for me.

Now this one I am really embarrassed and at the same time scratching my head over. As most daytime soap opera's have gone the way of the Rolodex, polyester pant suits and perms...one has held on with a steely grip and I have held onto watching it....just as tightly. I think I knew the characters on General Hospital before I even knew my ABC's. My mom watched it from it's inception and I even remember watching it when it was only a half hour soap. I have watched Steve, Audry, Jessie, the Quartermains, Luke, Laura and the rest live through every love affair, break up, sub zero freeze, mysteries and all the mayhem this soap has dished out. My reward for all of this faithful viewing????? A 50th anniversary week full of familiar faces being brought back, culminations to long awaited story lines, more mystery and an old favorite brought back....The Nurses Ball. (You would have to watch it to know of what I speak.) Oh....and did I mention....tears?! Yeah....I have sniffled my way through several episodes of late. The kicker was Rick Springfield singing Jessie's Girl. (Did I ever tell you about the time he sweated on me???) But I digress...... And yes...I did tear up over Jessie's Girl. Again I wonder...."What the hell is wrong with me?"

After giving this some considerable thought and going through a couple of boxes of kleenex....a few possible reasons have popped into my head as to why my eyes seem to be in a constant state of puffiness and I am embarrassed to watch tv, listen to music or go on the internet in front of anyone for fear I will dissolve into tears. One possibility could be that I have not slept well in awhile and I am tired. Exhaustion can bring on heightened emotions....right?! Another could be that I have been stressed, but then again....I idol on stress and have never been a wishy washy mess before. Maybe the most realistic explanation for all the tears is because all the things that make me tear up are people and things of the past. Not just people and things though.....good people and good things. All of these catalyst for my tears that I have mentioned hold very good and happy memories for me. They are a piece of the past that is gone, already lived and now just lie in my memories. Maybe it is me coming to terms with the fact that I have finally lived long enough to appreciate the past. Oh....and maybe I am tired too! 

I shamefully spoke of this constant short circuiting of my tear glands to someone the other day and they held a different theory. They feel that perhaps because I am not a crier and because I have held in a lot of tears over the years....that my bucket is full to overflowing. Maybe my body just needs to cry and maybe my emotions just need a good tearfest to cleanse, rejuvenate and reset. Okay....I'll buy that. Anything beats the explanation that I am turning into someone who forever must watch tv alone for fear of embarrassing myself over a Hallmark commercial or a Golden Girls rerun. I was told that rather than to hide from the tears...to embrace them, for even tears have a purpose. Hopefully just like they came....soon they will be gone. Until then though......"Hi! My name is Lisa....and I am crier!"


Anonymous said...

I understand completely. I have always been a crier and my kids hate to watch tv with me. I know I embarrass them, but I myself am pretty much beyond the embarrassment anymore. Sometimes we just have to cry. I say let the tears flow. Nice blog.

Anonymous said...

We all tear up from time to time. If you have any emotion at all, it is pretty normal. I would say holding it in and not letting yourself feel is the problem. Crying is not. Go ahead and cry. In the long run I bet you feel much better.

Anonymous said...

Tears are good. Even God cries sometimes.

Danielle said...

Never be embarrassed to cry. Tears are cleansing and they help us get through the tough times or the emotional times. What a great blog. I am sure you are not the only one suffering this so thank you for putting it in your bloggers light.

MarniJ said...

LOL! Welcome to the club Lisa. I have always been a crier....just cant help it. Ive never even tried to not cry (Well around some people I refuse to let them see me cry) and my family is just used to that. I cry at good and bad times.
I have come to believe it is like a washing of the soul....because really after a good cry...you do feel better.
So, again, welcome to the group...Hello my name is Marni and Im a crier!!!!

Anonymous said...

Cry. Don't cry. I do both. I do love that you brought up GH. I love that show and I too have watched it for decades. It is a dying breed these soaps and I hope that GH continues on for another 50 years. Now those are some good memories!