Sunday, May 5, 2013

The Fight


It has been an interesting week. A lot has happened and a lot of memories have come into play. Today I sit with a migraine....weather induced I am sure and I am trying to override it by pretending it doesn't exist. It will probably win out over all, but I am not going down without a fight. Without a fight! Is there any other way to deal with life than to fight your way through it? This has been a recurring theme in my thoughts of late. There is really a lot of sadness, negativity and down right bad in this world and we have one of two choices.....crumble under the weight of it all.....or fight our way through it. If you know me.....I do a little of both. I crumble at times and then after a short pity-party.....I come out with gloves on and fists held high!

This crumble and fight scenario has been my way of life for years as I will lay in a puddle of my own tears to the back drop of some sappy angst ridden tune only to come out fighting with Eye of the Tiger playing loudly in my head! Not sure whether I can chalk this up to my upbringing, my faith or the Dougherty blood that courses through my veins. I imagine it is a combination of the three. Whatever the case, I am never down for the count and I always come back possibly bruised but never broken. I am not alone.

This month has been the anniversary of some really nasty tornadoes to hit this part of the country. Lives have been lost and towns destroyed due to these massive monsters who leave pain and destruction in their path. These towns nor their surviving populace though, ever seem to crumble. They mourn their losses, bandage their wounds, rebuild their towns and go on with the business of living. They are a testament to the resilience and strength of spirit that humans seem to pull from in times where everything seems all but lost. They come out fighting and dwelling on not what was lost but what they still have to be grateful for. Whether it is faith in God or faith in each other.....they fight back.

As you know I have asked for prayers for baby Adele White. Hers is a case of fighting if I ever saw one. Weeks ago she was fine and Monday she had surgery for a brain tumor. The doctors thought they got 90% of the tumor only to find that they merely got 60% and the tumor is a particularly nasty and aggressive tumor with a poor prognosis in someone so young. Her parents are terrified and oh so grateful all in the same breath. Since Adele's surgery.....she has had an amazing recovery. Though still in the hospital till tomorrow at least.....she is feisty and happy (as happy as a 16 month old can be confined to a small space) and apparently in little pain after her ordeal. So how can her parents find the grace to be so grateful....especially at a time like this? Their faith and their ability to see beyond today. There are trials out there that are in late stages that hold some hope for Adele and she will be starting them soon. They have also seen the generosity of those they know and many they don't know. People have rallied around them and helped them with their other kids, food, their house and even the finances which will undoubtedly be strapped for some time to come. Most of all....they are grateful for the love, support and greatest of all....the prayers that have been showered on them. Even if Melissa and Pete have felt anger over this (and who wouldn't at some point) never have they shown negativity or resentment that this has happened. Instead of wasting emotion on that....they have come out fighting. They are fighting with every resource physical and spiritual they have. Even in this adversity....they are growing stronger and they are not letting this crumble them. I am sure Eye of the Tiger isn't far from their thoughts either.

In contrast to all of this...I told you about the new blog I was reading and how for some reason it was kind of like a train wreck and I simply couldn't help but be intrigued by this individual. His posts of late have been very negative and past the point of self-pity. He has dived into a ritual of obviously posting for pity....whether he sees it or not. He is also angry.....very angry at no doubt the loss of his son and the fact that he has chronic pain. That anger has spilled over into blog rants of blasphemy towards God and hate towards anyone who disagrees with his God rants, political views or simply tests his patience in any way.

I noticed that he has gone from many people commenting on his posts to just a few here and there. Some of this is likely because he berates those who disagree with him or who even kindly offer good thoughts and prayers for him. Another part though is I believe that even those who like him and his posts can only take so much hate, anger and negativity. With a million blogs on the web to read.....it is hard to stick with one that has become nothing but one long pity party. It is sad really, because even though he and I are polar opposites on just about everything.....he is an interesting old guy.

Today I really couldn't hold my tongue anymore as his latest post was one long rant about how horrible God is while at the same time denying belief in God. Yeah....it was an anger blog of self-pity and trying to place blame for the fact that he was suffering in life and blaming that which he claimed didn't exist. Strange I know. I think thoughts of Adeles family and how they have every right to be angry and yet they choose positivity also fueled my need to comment. Using as much filter as I could muster (which wasn't much) I let him know that I felt a lot of things for him but pity wasn't one of them. It was a rather lengthy comment as I had held my tongue through several poor me blogs of his lately and I simply had some stuff to say. I honestly didn't comment to insult him or make him madder which I am sure I probably did or will when he reads it. I commented because all the other comments he seems to get are pats on the back for his negativity or pity comments that both make him angry and feed into his need for sympathy because life done did him wrong. Maybe I do feel a bit of sadness for the old coot because I think he has allowed his negativity, anger and self-pity to swallow him up to the point that he no longer fights. In fact I am pretty sure he quit fighting long ago and all that is left is someone who is crumbling and angry that he somehow didn't get special treatment in this life. Do I think my words had any effect? Sure....IF he even read past the first couple of sentences (and that is a big IF) I am pretty sure I pissed him off. The truth through someone elses eyes can often have that effect....especially if that truth cuts close to home. Likely my comment will be discarded and his negativity will over ride any truth and he will continue to crumble before his readers eyes, no fight, no hope.....just go down for the count. Really sad.

Yep...that migraine is starting to win. Perhaps if spring would ever actually get here I could rid myself of both the cold wet weather and the pain in my head. However....if that is all I have to complain about, then I will just call myself blessed and call this.....a blog! "It's the eye of the tiger. It's the thrill of the fight........."

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Maybe your comment on the gentlemans blog will help and maybe he will just stay angry. In any case, I bet it gets a reaction whether you ever know or not. I will continue to pray for baby Adele and her family and I do hope the sun shines soon and that your headache goes away.

Anonymous said...

I like this blog a lot. Now for some strange reason, I want to go watch Rocky! ;)

J'nelle said...

I wish you would post a link to this guys blog but I know you are too ethical and kind to do such a thing. At least your readers would have your back if this guy gets ugly with you. I know that you can stand on your own two feet though and that the likes of this fellow puts no fear in you. Maybe he will even take something positive away from your comment. Please continue to keep us posted on Adele. Lots of prayers coming her way.

Anonymous said...

I love this blog. Keep up the fight! I have never known you to stay down too long!

Mike T said...

I had a feeling I knew which blog you were talking about and I was right. Strange old guy. He claims he is an atheist but he tells God to "kiss his ass". He blames God (someone he doesn't believe in) for all of the bad in the world. God forbid we blame man who rapes, murders, etc. How do you blame something or someone who you openly claim doesn't exist? I agree with you that he is just angry with his lot in life and needs an outlet of blame. Going after God in the manner he did though is not acceptable at all and I am glad to see you called him on it. Agreed though, he will not like it and apparently neither did some of his Ratfans. Sorry, I couldn't help myself. Nice blog and comment nicely handled.

Lisa Jacques Elam said...

UPDATE: Interesting turn of events! The man whose blog I spoke of took down my comments and the comment of someone who commented on what I said. He replaced them with a comment of his own. He was neither hateful nor degrading though he did repeat that he had no belief on God. I am sure my words had some sort of affect but what that was.....I have no idea. He did make sure no further comment could be made on that blog which mattered little. I was done. Know when to fold 'em and know when to walk away! Just found it all very interesting!

Norm said...

Hi Lisa: I can't remember Spearmint or Peppermint essential oil applied to the forehead is helpful with those headaches. You've probably already tried it over the years but if not you might do a little search on the subject. Hope that may help.