Wednesday, May 22, 2013

They Call Me.....Wishy Washy

I am in a weird place right now with all that is going on in the world and close to home. Things seem to affect me more at this place I am in life than they ever have before. It is hard coming to terms with the fact that as a control freak....there are simply things in this life that we mere mortals....even me....have no control over. Things that have never before bothered me, I find mess with my emotions and not just some emotions...but all of them. No....I am not bi-polar or manic. I am simply at a place in life where I no longer ignore or deny things because they might be unpleasant or they might offend someone else. I still don't deliberately set out to offend anyone and I think that even my greatest antagonists would have to agree that I go out of my way to say what I have to say without belittling or insulting anyone personally. That being opinion has at times not won me friends (in fact it has lost me a few) and has even caused some to resort to name calling both to my face and behind my back. I have also been attacked for allowing others to post on my blog an opinion that is not conservative. I guess it matters not that on my blog the First Amendment is still alive and well and just as I express my opinion....other and differing opinions are also welcome and in fact encouraged. Nowhere have I ever stated that if you don't agree with me that you are banished from my blog or even my life. Agreeing with me is not a requirement to ensure my friendship.

A little fact about my opinions. I rarely have an opinion that I blog about...that I don't first research. I hate to say something that I can't go back and back up if necessary. Another fact is...sometimes people are so set in "their own" opinions that all the facts in the world won't change their mind. It is the way of the world today. Belief and nonfactual opinion seem to trump fact over and over again. Go figure.

I have also heard several times of late that some feel that I am "wishy washy" in my opinions and beliefs. This doesn't just come from readers who don't know me except for my also has come from those that do know me and should think better of me. I hate the term wishy washy as it basically means you can't pick a definite side on anything. Come on people....I think you all know what a load of bunk that is. I rarely back slide on my beliefs because I do research them. However....I am not so firmly wedged into the ground that if I do learn something that I didn't know before and it has an affect on my stance...then I will admit I was wrong and move forward. Many don't agree with this. Many feel that you should hold your ground until that ground covers you and suffocates you....right or wrong. I believe this is called being narrow minded. Another pretty unflattering term and yet a term that seems to cover many people on both sides of the coin.

This all came to a head when I was writing a lot of both political and religious blogs. I was being cheered on from the side lines by those who felt I was on the same page as they were. And lets face it, most of you know that I am irritatingly conservative both politically and religiously. (Irritating that is to those with a more liberal sensibility). However...the funny thing about picking "a side" is that no side EVER in the history of man....has been completely right. On the other side is completely wrong either. Why? Because humans are involved. Human ego and human desire always comes into play. When we try to convince the world we are all right, then we must demonize the other side as all wrong....that is where narrow minds rear their ugly heads. There suddenly becomes no room for mid ground, compromise or shades of gray......and let me tell you.....everything has shades of gray. As I said other than God and satan/Heaven and hell, nothing else in this world is all good or all bad. If life were that cut and dry then there would be no need for extenuating circumstances or jury's. People would not be capable of change and life would be either good or bad and you would know definitely which side you fell on.

So when I stepped outside what some conservatives felt was my conservative box and stepped into a subject that they viewed as both politically and religiously liberal.....not to mention....reprehensible....I was given a verbal beat down by several AND suddenly I was told by more than one, that I had become someone that these people simply didn't know! I was now labeled as wishy washy and one even called me brain washed. Another person told me to my face that I was neither a Catholic nor a conservative because of the way I believed. Sorry folks....I am both. I am also a human being who realizes that God makes us all and that in doing so....He makes no mistakes. research went into both my blog and my opinion....but that made no difference....I was wrong in a lot of eyes. On the upside....I was also thanked by some politically and religiously conservative people who like me, were beginning to see the gray area of the subject. No....I had not turned on my beliefs. I had simply acknowledged that there was more to the story. lost me friends and apparently respect from some. But then again....are those the friends and the respect I wanted if it is so easily lost over a respectful difference of opinion?

I was cut down again on facebook over a kind word about the president. On most days....I find it difficult to find even a civil word to say about the man, but I do try to look for the good in everyone. And whether it was just a show or if it was a true act of good.....Obama did something I thought deserved a word of praise. It wasn't even a big word...just an acknowledgement that even he could do something good. After all....he is a human and he can't be all bad all the time. My acknowledgement of this singular act though, was as if I had changed political sides and suddenly was trying to convert the masses. I was called out on facebook by several who really didn't surprise me. I was prepared.  They saw his act as a show and me as being deluded for falling for it. C'est la vi. I knew that there would be those who disagreed, but honestly I didn't realize it would be to such an extent over such a small thing and if I had it to do over......I would probably do the exact same thing! The fact didn't matter to me whether it was a show or not...the end result was that something that should have been done long ago was finally done....and he happened to be the one to do it. Kudos...for whatever the reason! It was however....the behind the scenes attacks that got me. From friends no less. People brave enough to attack me through email....but not brave enough to do it so that all of fb could see. It was really the first time that this kind of stuff got to me. I have been called a lot of rude names and been insulted by a lot of rude people. Heck...I have had people write blogs about me and rip me limb from limb. You expect that in the world of political and religious debate, but you don't expect it from friends and you don't expect it over something as mundane as a kind word. It showed me then and there what a crazed and emotional society we are becoming. Facts mean nothing. Kindness is only acceptable if given to those certain people......certain other people find acceptable. It is okay to strike out and ridicule any opinion or belief that is not your own and if God forbid you have a difference of better be wearing your thick undies that day.

Where did our compassion and kindness go people? Who said that regardless of which side of the fence you are on that a comedian like Lizz Winstead can make a cruel joke about conservatives being targeted in the Moore, OK tornado? Who said we can't pray for the president and give him the tiniest of compliments when we think we see a glimpse of his humanity? How does kindness and compassion towards other human beings both born (regardless of race, creed, color or sexual orientation) and unborn somehow make me wishy washy and somehow less respectable on both sides of the fence? How does it make me less conservative and less Catholic because I want to see the goodness in people? Isn't that what we as humans (conservative or liberal) and as Christians (regardless of denomination) are suppose to do? People are quick to spout bible verses but what about "judge not" and "love your neighbor." I don't think restrictions were put on either of those.

So I guess if I am viewed as wishy washy. So be it. Obviously those who have labeled me as such will not let the actual facts get in the way of their opinion. So go ahead and bring on the names, the insults and call me out. I can take it. Like my mom always used to say......"if they are picking on you...they are leaving someone else alone." However....just remember that with age comes less and less filter and we all know I didn't have a whole lot to begin with. Someday you might just get to see the unfiltered me in all my glory....and trust me....wishy washy won't be what you will calling me then.



J'nelle said...

I have seen you as many things but wishy washy was never one of them. What kind of an imbecile would call you that? You can have an opinion with an open mind and this is how I see you. I love your blog and I love that you don't remove comments even if they aren't nice. You do leave room for all opinions and that is rare today. BTW I would love to read a completely unfiltered blog of yours!

Anonymous said...

I like that you say no one is always right and no one is always wrong. That is something important to remember when dealing with people. Also, opinions are like assholes, everyone has one and yet it doesn't make everyone right. Good blog.

Anonymous said...

I think I know exactly what blog you are speaking about. I remember you taking a lot of flack for speaking out on homosexuality. To a lot of conservatives that is blasphemous. I also am a conservative with similar beliefs. I guess there are a lot of us wishy washy types about. As for speaking kindly of the president, I can't imagine what you could have found nice to say, but if you did then you had every right to do so without the world crumbling around you and you being insulted for doing so. I think it just shows you have a kinder heart than most of us. I too would love to see the day when you come completely unfiltered. Now that will be a blog I look forward to reading. Keep up the good work and as you said, are the ones who turned on you really ones you wanted in your life anyway?

Jimmy from OKC said...

I have read your blog for awhile now and I have seen you be poignant, funny, serious, snarky but never wishy washy. You always seem to know what you mean and mean what you say and I like that. I think wishy washy is just another term for folks telling you that you disagreed with them and they don't much care for that. When friends turn on you that is a pretty clear sign that they weren't really friends in the first place because true friends have your back even when they don't agree with you. You keep writing just the way you do and your real friends will keep coming back.

Anonymous said...

Okay, I did not speak up before now. I read your blog about gay marriage. I was incensed that you who I had always so closely agreed with could have come so far left about such an abomination.

I private messaged you and told you in no uncertain terms and not very nicely what I thought of you and your blog. You replied to my anger and rude message with kindness. You said you did understand why I felt the way I did and then you went on to explain why you felt as you did. You also said that you were not trying to change my mind and you respected the fact that I was willing to stand up for my beliefs but that you could not and would not judge people for the way God made them.

You also pointed out that God had made your son with cerebral palsy and that there was a time not so long ago that society and religion would have called him names and made him out to be evil because he was made differently. Even today some prejudice remains for your son and yet nothing could be further from the truth. Your son is just as special in Gods eyes as anyone else.

You said a lot of other things that really made me think. You also said that although you were not against homosexuality, you did find fault with those who chose to flaunt their sexuality or parade through the streets half naked expecting people to not only accept but support this behavior. You went on to say you would not support this behavior in heterosexuals so why would you support it in gays?

You made good and valid points and you made them with class in spite of the way I came at you. While I am still ambivalent about the whole issue, you did make me think and your earned my respect. No lady, you are definitely not wishy washy.

Anonymous said...

I know this blog is directed at me and a couple of others for what was said to you about your remarks about the president. I find nothing remotely sympathetic about that man and I did and still feel that words of kindness are lost on him. I did not post my comments on Facebook because I did not want to embarrass you more than you had already embarrassed yourself by even commenting on the president. I know others felt the same way. Maybe I was wrong in what I said or how I said it but I was really thrown that you could find anything nice to say about this man. He does nothing without an agenda and it appeared that you were drinking the Obama kool-aid and congratulating him on what a great thing he did. I still don't know what to think about it all. I never called you wishy washy though. I called you brain washed because that is how it felt. I couldn't imagine what you were thinking. Maybe you are kinder than most although I don't see how you can find anything good or kind to say about Obama. You dismissed me after our last text. I was not the one who told you that I was sorry you came back to Facebook but you lumped me in with the others. Maybe my words to you were harsh but you have no idea how much your words about Obama shocked me. I don't know how you can call yourself conservative and still talk kindly about the man. I guess you are entitled to your opinion no matter what anyone else thinks but don't be shocked when people don't agree and back away.

Daniella said...

Anonymous what is your issue? You guess she is entitled to her opinion? A kind word for someone doesn't decide politics. Have you never heard of hating the action but loving the person? Why would you feel that you have the right to stand in judgement anyone? I would say before you start pointing fingers and ganging up on someone because it sounds like you were one of several, you need to take a nice long look in the mirror. Being conservative doesn't mean you lose your humanity. Well maybe in your case it does!