tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1875195811184851268.post8073095557844451549..comments2024-01-08T15:24:14.843-06:00Comments on From Beginning to End...and Back Again: Catholicism Through My Eyes: Birth ControlLisa Jacques Elamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09436627482635590384noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1875195811184851268.post-2059972098984854792013-03-11T12:31:00.050-05:002013-03-11T12:31:00.050-05:00L*O*V*E I*T!!!!!L*O*V*E I*T!!!!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1875195811184851268.post-21925096023898349602013-03-11T11:55:51.713-05:002013-03-11T11:55:51.713-05:00As a parent of four teenage girls it is my first i...As a parent of four teenage girls it is my first instinct to lock them up until they are at least 25. Reality though says that all I can do is my best and hope it is enough. Much of what one commenter said we do. We have curfews, no dating until they are sixteen and then only double dates and only at 17 are they allowed to date on their own. We encourage them to have their "friends" as I am still in too much denial to call them boyfriends over often and spend time with our family. We also spend lots of family time talking about sex. It was horrible at first as my parents were not at all open about the subject but thank goodness my wife has been the one who has lead the charge on this battlefield. I don't see my girls as perfect and I know only when I have gotten them all through college in one piece will I be able to let out the breath I have been holding since the first one hit puberty. We have tried hard to teach our girls that what and who they are is special. Too special to give away in the backseat of a car to someone they barely know. They are all athletic and intelligent and have a lot of extra curricular activities along with church. We have tried to keep them busy, well rounded and grounded in the real world. It is the toughest job I have ever had and there is no barometer of how well we are doing because as parents we know what we think we see may not always be the whole picture. Blogger, I give you a lot of credit for even touching this subject. If it does nothing more than open up a dialogue between a parent and child on the subject of sex, then I would say that your blog is a success. Four to one Dadnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1875195811184851268.post-1830547226050145422013-03-11T11:46:55.189-05:002013-03-11T11:46:55.189-05:00I do love a well commented on blog. I love it even...I do love a well commented on blog. I love it even more when the comments aren't just pats on the back to the blogger but opinions all across the board. IMHO that means the blogger is doing their job. Job well done blogger!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1875195811184851268.post-54014504974270350802013-03-11T11:16:34.780-05:002013-03-11T11:16:34.780-05:00I am not much on church stuff but I do like you an...I am not much on church stuff but I do like you and your blog. This stuff is interesting. Don't think I would do well with all the rules and you catholics seem to do a lot of kneeling and standing but it is interesting to learn all the details of being a catholic from a catholic. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1875195811184851268.post-8500818588779779762013-03-11T11:15:22.701-05:002013-03-11T11:15:22.701-05:00Actually, I admire the blogger and did not mean to...Actually, I admire the blogger and did not mean to indicate otherwise.<br /><br />Also, I didn't mention anything about the 100% effectiveness of birth control or suggest that people should have sex and ignore the abstinence option. My point was that it's been proven that abstinence education doesn't reduce the amount of sex teenagers have. If they have sex, it's a fact that using condoms is a safer option than practicing unprotected sex. <br /><br />So teenagers will have sex, whether you teach abstinence or don't. They'll have it whether they use bc or not. If they take the pill, will they still get pregnant? Yes. It's not 100% effective. If they use condoms will they still get disease? Yes. It's not 100% effective. Are there side effects to using bc? Yes. Are there side effects to not using bc but still having sex? Yes.<br /><br />Most important, if they practice abstinence, will they be 100% safe from STDs and unwanted pregnancy? You bet. This is a great idea. For individuals, it can work. For groups, it doesn't.<br /><br />The point is that teenagers won't practice abstinence 100% of the time any more than bc is effective 100% of the time. Sure. Teach your kids that abstinence is the best way. But encourage sex education wherever possible: in the home, in popular media, in our schools. Make bc freely available as part of that education, so that everyone will know the risks of using bc as well as the benefits.<br /><br />For those who don't want their children taught anything about sex outside the home, certainly make sure that sex education in the school's voluntary. From a faith standpoint, people should be allowed to believe whatever they want to believe.<br /><br />So I repeat: Teaching teenagers that abstinence is the only way doesn't work on people as a group. Reducing the availability of bc doesn't work. Abstinence both from sex and from bc may work for you. It may work for your family. Individually, it can work and has worked. But as a group, it's a complete failure.<br /><br />That was my point.<br /><br />The ignoring reality comment was based on personal experience. If I had a nickel for every parent who teaches abstinence to their children and whose church teaches abstinence to their children and therefore believes their teenagers don't have sex because they've been taught abstinence is best, I would be a very rich man. And the parents are always shocked. My children? Having sex? Never. And the children are afraid to talk to their parents because they know those parents disapprove. It doesn't stop them from having sex. It just stops them talking about it and getting the parental guidance they need.<br /><br />I don't mean to criticize anyone and I've said more than I should.<br /><br />Enough.Glennnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1875195811184851268.post-13115086081694571092013-03-11T11:11:06.950-05:002013-03-11T11:11:06.950-05:00I seldom comment on my own blogs because I feel as...I seldom comment on my own blogs because I feel as if my place is to write the blog and the comments are my readers domain. Today though, I felt the need. <br /><br />I do not write my blog ever....to be agreed with. My blogs are about my personal thoughts and feelings and I express them so that those that read can learn a little about me. In this case....it is also to learn a little about the Catholic church. <br /><br />I knew going into this particular topic that I was not posing a popular position...not even amongst all Catholics. I was merely speaking of the facts as I know them to be. Only the last of this blog was my personal view of the subject. Again....maybe not a popular view, but it was mine and I see no need for anyone to try to justify it. I certainly don't feel the need to do so. <br /><br />I appreciate every comment written here...both those who agree and those who do not. Either way...you took the time out of your day to read something that you didn't have to and that means a great deal to me. <br /><br />It has always been my belief that it is not important for people to agree with each other...but it is important that they can communicate with each other. It is the differences of opinion that open lines of communication and if done with respect....can even help those with opposing views learn from each other. <br /><br />I have seen that especially today, their seems to be a need to "stand up for me" or have my back on this subject. While I appreciate the sentiment....it really isn't necessary. This blog took me a great while to write and when I finished...I was good with what I had to say. <br /><br />I also greatly appreciate those who added to what I had already said. There were things that I did not think to say that others of you have added and which gives even more food for thought on this subject. <br /><br />I thank you all for your views, your compliments and your opposing opinions. A blogger could truly ask for nothing more. <br /><br />Lisa<br />aka CmomLisa Jacques Elamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09436627482635590384noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1875195811184851268.post-36141448685097067202013-03-11T10:51:21.688-05:002013-03-11T10:51:21.688-05:00I do not agree with the catholic churches stand on...I do not agree with the catholic churches stand on birth control or this bloggers stand. I want my child protected. I do respect the reasons why this blogger believes the way she does though. She didn't just say that is how it is and I am right. She explained her position and reasoning. It did not make me change my mind but it did give me a different perspective on why others may think and feel differently. I like this blog for just that reason. We all get stuck in our own way of thinking which makes us not so open to other points of view. When something like this is laid out before you it gives people the opportunity to see things that you may not even know existed. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1875195811184851268.post-79536302093495167442013-03-11T10:45:41.291-05:002013-03-11T10:45:41.291-05:00I read this blog yesterday (twice) and then I wait...I read this blog yesterday (twice) and then I waited. I wanted to see if those who did not like anything religious in nature would come out of the woodwork and attack. I was not disappointed. What should be remembered is that people who do have a church and who are religious are taught certain beliefs, morality and values. Regardless of religious affiliation, most christians have a lot of the same core beliefs. Because of this those core beliefs are going to dictate their view of the world.It is not unlike those with non-religious or atheistic beliefs. They are going to see and do things quite differently and always with a disdain for those who are religious. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1875195811184851268.post-41323710729993093232013-03-11T10:26:17.496-05:002013-03-11T10:26:17.496-05:00I liked this blog and I think you touched on some ...I liked this blog and I think you touched on some very important things. Granted that speaking about some issues through a religious point of view is going to attract nasty feed back from people who dislike religion or dislike those who live their lives with a religious backdrop. You did well pointing out the Catholic churches stand on the subject, which as far as I can tell was the whole point of this piece.<br /><br />You effectively write this particular blog by filling in blanks for those who might normally be clueless to Catholic teachings or religion in general. <br /><br />The above comment is a perfect example of someone who has a very secular view of this subject and likely the world and speaking in a strictly secular way, he seemed to leave out a few important facts.<br /> <br />Even used properly, birth control is not 100% effective. Used improperly which many do (missed pills, misused condoms,etc)it is no more effective than using nothing at all. <br /><br />He (Glenn) made the statement "People ignore facts when those facts don't suit the reality they wish existed." Well these are facts. The birth control pill even in the current lose dose formula still has a track record for causing life threatening blood clots and it is still linked to breast cancer. IUD's along with other internal methods of birth control can cause infection, sterilization and even death. Condoms are the best bet for halting the passing of disease, but as birth control they are only about 75-80% effective. Abstinence has no nasty side effects such as pregnancy or life threatening disease and it is 100% effective 100% of the time. Those are the facts. <br /><br />As said above by Glenn, teaching abstinence does not lower the sex rate of teenagers. However, if parents spent their time teaching their kids self-respect and helped give their kids a healthy self-image then the chances of these kids waiting to have sex increases. Add to that frank and frequent conversations on sex between parents and kids and the waiting further increases. Boundaries also help. Having rules and expectations of your kids like curfews and knowing who your teenagers are seeing also helps. Can parents 100% prevent their kids from having sex too early? No, but they can reduce the risk considerably. <br /><br />What was being said in this blog was that the Catholic church disagrees with birth control and these are the reasons why. This was the purpose of the blog, to show how a certain section of the population believes. I don't believe at any point this blogger asked anyone to believe this way and she certainly did not put down anyone who believes differently. I give her a lot of credit for having the courage to speak about all of this in the ever growing secular world we live in. It takes great strength to speak about things which aren't mainstream popular. Kudos Miss Blogger for showing us another side to a many faceted world. I look forward to reading more. <br />Beirensteinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1875195811184851268.post-24670803272746422912013-03-11T09:33:51.878-05:002013-03-11T09:33:51.878-05:00People ignore facts when those facts don't sui...People ignore facts when those facts don't suit the reality they wish existed.<br /><br />Teaching abstinence does not lower the frequency of sex among teenagers. Young people will have sex, no matter how strictly you teach against it. The only thing bc reduces is disease and unwanted pregnancies. And here's a good fact for you to digest: The more you teach teenagers about sex, the more likely they are to delay having sex until they're a bit older. Not a lot older, mind you, but a bit (because teenagers will still be teenagers).<br /><br />But this honest examination of the problem is lost when religion is brought into the mix. Religion is based on faith. You may as well quit going to the hospital and use faith healing, both for yourself and for your family.Glennnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1875195811184851268.post-47994215889341447512013-03-10T13:03:57.688-05:002013-03-10T13:03:57.688-05:00HATE! HATE! HATE! Quit trying to justify your chur...HATE! HATE! HATE! Quit trying to justify your church trying to force women into having litters and feeling bad about wanting sex. Your check is pro man and anti woman. Just look at the facts. Only men hold top ranking positions in your church and with a new pope about to be crowned I don't see a woman in the mix. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1875195811184851268.post-58907337465519067022013-03-10T12:56:27.034-05:002013-03-10T12:56:27.034-05:00Until you started writing this I didn't know m...Until you started writing this I didn't know much about the catholic church or catholics. I wouldn't normally read anything like this since I love God not religion but since I read your blog all the time I started reading this. It has been an education. You have answered questions I didn't even know I had. I did not know that birth control was wrong in your religion and I don't agree with it but I find the reasons why it is wrong interesting. I find most of this religious stuff interesting because it is a whole world I knew nothing about. Thanks for the info and I hate to say it but I really look forward to your Sunday blogs. God is my copilotnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1875195811184851268.post-64177140202141799362013-03-10T12:37:54.429-05:002013-03-10T12:37:54.429-05:00Are you kidding me? Girl you need to fast track yo...Are you kidding me? Girl you need to fast track yourself from 1953 to 2013!Ancient Earlnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1875195811184851268.post-52383858730317831672013-03-10T12:31:16.244-05:002013-03-10T12:31:16.244-05:00My kid is on birth control and I put her on it. As...My kid is on birth control and I put her on it. As a parent this was the most responsible act I could take because I do know that she is likely to have sex before she even gets out of high school. I also am responsible enough that I have had many sex conversations with her and she and I have an agreement that she will talk to me before she has sex. No, I am not living in the clouds, I believe she will come talk to me before it happens. <br />Yes it would be great if everyone looked on sex as a great and wonderful thing but the reality is, the world is super sexualized and I cannot be with my kid 24/7. If the worst happens and she does have sex on the spur of the moment, she is protected. <br />I take great issue with the church on its birth control stance and I feel it is wrong. God would not have allowed birth control without a purpose and that is how I choose to see it. If this makes my soul in danger of hell then so be it, at least I know my child is protected and has the chance for the best life possible. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1875195811184851268.post-29984318516292857562013-03-10T12:25:12.192-05:002013-03-10T12:25:12.192-05:00I really like this blog. I like all your religious...I really like this blog. I like all your religious blogs because they show a perspective that people might not always take. Someone above said that birth control stops life. It has been proven that it does not stop a life it prevents a life, so it is not like abortion, but again it does prevent life. I agree that God makes no mistakes and by preventing life it is like saying you are preventing God from making a mistake. He really can't like that very much. I found this really interesting. What I found most interesting though is your take on it. As I said, your perspective on these religious blogs is fascinating and it gives me much to talk with my ladies group about on Wed. night. Keep up the good work. Texas USAnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1875195811184851268.post-15610441751034033072013-03-10T12:19:54.254-05:002013-03-10T12:19:54.254-05:00You had sex before you were married and got pregna...You had sex before you were married and got pregnant and you didn't use birth control? That is just plain asking for trouble. I know you love your son but what about your life? How different might it have been had you taken care of you? I think on this point the catholic church is wrong and I think you used poor judgement in not protecting yourself and your partner when you should have. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1875195811184851268.post-52026295089357887642013-03-10T12:17:09.316-05:002013-03-10T12:17:09.316-05:00I really think the church should rethink their bir...I really think the church should rethink their birth control position. In the modern world abstinence alone is a very ancient thought process, not to mention unrealistic. With the dawning of a new pope I hope comes the dawning of a more enlightened church. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1875195811184851268.post-73583605940349018572013-03-10T12:15:06.330-05:002013-03-10T12:15:06.330-05:00To be honest, birth control is something that I ha...To be honest, birth control is something that I have always struggled with as far as the catholic church is concerned. I like how you point out that we are taking Gods will away and trying to replace it with our own by using birth control. I know so many people who are trying to limit the number of kids they have while others are trying desperately just to have one. I really liked this blog and hope you do more. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1875195811184851268.post-23694965238383624292013-03-10T12:12:25.678-05:002013-03-10T12:12:25.678-05:00Very interesting and I agree, a very tough subject... Very interesting and I agree, a very tough subject. I will add one thing. Birth control is the ending of human life. You hit on many important issues with this and I love your point that birth control is man trying to show superiority to God's will. I also like that you point out that birth control is a band aid of sorts for the mess man creates by disregarding God. Great blog and I look forward to next week. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com