The Restaurant Game

In our society, customer service is huge. It is crucial to many businesses and none more so than the restaurant/bar game. Who stands out the most, takes the most crap...(deserved and undeserved) from both the kitchen and the customer? The server! 

Back when my husband was alive, before he settled on the aircraft industry, he was in food service. He managed a couple of restaurants, was a co-chef at one and worked as wait staff at others. He knew the business well and being a salesman at heart...he knew that good wait staff and customer service were key. He used to say that no matter how lousy the food, if the service was good then customers would usually overlook the poor cuisine. He was right.

Going to a restaurant to eat with Tim was always interesting. He would critique each place we went from the cleanliness to the decor and the food to the service. He knew what it "should" be like and if it wasn't....then on occasion he would take it upon himself to school the staff. He could tell the temperament of a server before they even seated us and if he detected even a smidgen of rudeness, ego or lethargy in the person he would tell them right up front that they were starting out with an $X tip but depending upon the service we received would decide if that amount actually made it into their pocket. Since Tim was an amazing tipper, it usually jolted even the poorest of wait staff into a 5 star server during the course of our meal. However, if the service went south at any point, both the server and the manager would hear about it. Tim always felt as if customers were doing the restaurant a favor by coming in to eat....not the other way around. He also never chewed wait staff out for a problem that he knew came from the kitchen. I have watched him walk into a kitchen to compliment a kitchen staff or to go off on them for a poor meal. Yeah, dining out with Tim could be an adventure for everyone involved.

I too have done my fair share of time both being a restaurant server and a bar server. I learned early on that how I presented myself (clean and appropriately dressed) and how I treated the customer made a huge difference in how the customers treated me and how they tipped. Trust me, in a world where tips are everything, it serves you well to treat customers as you would want to be treated as a customer.

So having all of this background knowledge of the restaurant business and customer service, it never fails to floor me when a server is rude, careless or simply doesn't give a crap about their job and lets it show. I am also not a fan of being served by someone with dreadlocks or their hair being long and not put up. It is not only a health code violation (or at the very least should be) but it is also a personal phobia of mine. Hair in my food (especially my dreadlocked waiters) doesn't exactly make my artichoke dip all that appetizing. Like my late husband I am not above subtracting $ from their final tip for an unhappy dining experience. Be rude to me or my special needs kid who yes, as a matter of fact does get loud at times (duh, why do you think I ask for a back table?!) and the server, myself and the manager will be having a rather unpleasant conversation.

Most restaurants I am pleased to say do make some effort to train their servers. Since I don't dine out a lot, when I do, I don't usually have huge problems with servers or service. However, occasionally you walk in to a place and right from the moment you are seated, you know you have lucked into the best server ever! We were that lucky a few weeks back. As I said, we seldom eat out but as a treat we went to our favorite restaurant Red Lobster. We usually go to the one on the East side but because we were running errands on the West side, we decided to go there.

The experience was on a roll from the moment we walked in, as we missed the main dinner rush and were immediately seated. When I asked to be put at a back table so David would not disturb any other diners, they opened up a typically unused section at that hour and gave it all to us. Then our waitress came out. Right off the bat she connected with David and as he said "Hi!" several dozen times over, she just laughed and said "Hi!" right back. Girl nearly doubled her tip with that act of class! She was pleasant and helpful and on top of our order from the minute she took it. I really don't think I have ever been served that quickly or that professionally by anyone else.....EVER! Never was a glass less than half empty on our table nor was our biscuit basket ever empty at all. She was the perfect combination of attentive without being annoying. She was pleasant, kind and very good at her job. As I sat there looking at my perpetually full glass of tea and enjoying my delicious shrimp, it occurred to me that this meal could not be half as good as it was and I would still consider this an amazing dining experience. Yes, some of that might be because I never get out of the house, but most of it was because of the wonderful and professional service. Even Z who currently is a fan of no one......ever, was impressed with her service.

The waitress got a well deserved tip of all I could afford that evening and I personally thanked her for being such a great server. Z though, was way ahead of me. As I was walking out trying to push the wheelchair, hold the doggie bags and find my keys, he walked straight up to the manager and expressed how pleased we were with her service and our dining experience as a whole. He even filled out a customer review card for both the restaurant and the server. I too might have done the same thing had I not been juggling and steering trying to get to the car. Show off!

So today.....I don't like bad service anywhere at anytime but especially not at a restaurant where I choose to spend my time once in a very great while. I do on the other hand like.....no LOVE....great service especially at a restaurant that I only get to enjoy once in a very great while. Respect my son while you are being great at your job and in my book.....you are a keeper! So if you are on the West side of Wichita and are hankering for some Red Lobster, stop in....you won't be disappointed!

Happy Monday everyone!

Still Trying to Keep the Faith

Yes, I fell off the blog wagon. Life has been a bit busy (you know....summer and all) and blogging has just taken a bit of a back burner to everything else in my life. Of late, I have had a small issue with life, feeling as if it is collapsing in on me again. Perhaps it has been the weather and coming to a stand still on the pool/deck project. We are short 7 ton of sand (which hopefully is coming) and about 60 deck boards which I am short the money to purchase them with. It will happen though. I have faith! 

Then there was the trip to Shriners to check out Davids hip. It was suppose to be on Wednesday, but then just hours before leaving, the house was hit with the Bubonic Plague. Okay, maybe that was a bit dramatic, but my house and all inhabitants were sick! This then meant having to reschedule. That is never fun with Shriners. Luckily we got a date just a couple of weeks off. That was definitely a God thing!

The hits just kept on coming when I realized that I was $160 short somewhere between leaving my house and getting to the bank. Still not sure how that happened. I searched every crevice of my van and my purse and no sign of it. Sigh....perhaps a lesson from on High about being less frenzied and more observant.

Finally....the cherry on top was the fact that I was suppose to have a meeting with a Social Security representative on the 15th to discuss David receiving SSI (disability) and after filling out preliminary paperwork on his health via e-forms, I received a determination in the mail yesterday that he was not eligible for disability. Apparently having cerebral palsy, a seizure disorder, being hydrocephalic and a host of other conditions along with being on 4 seizure meds 3 times per day doesn't make him disabled enough for disability. It has been suggested to me to get a disability attorney involved, but then again....if I could afford the attorney....I wouldn't need the disability! Still trying to keep the faith here people!!!!!

It was at this point that I began to hear the oh so familiar I am broke and I am never going to financially make it tune starting to play in my head. I could almost feel the hyperventilating coming on as my body tightened and the migraine set in. It sucks when you are mentally trying to pick out which bridge is going to be the warmest to live under this winter. Yes, I know....more over dramatization, but the financial worry is real. Then I remembered.....didn't I hand this all over to God a while back? Didn't I say that I would stop worrying about all of this and have faith that He would guide me? Yes I did! It also occurred to me mid-panic attack, that it is easy to have faith when things are easy, but REAL faith is believing even when things are really rough. Trust me.....they are really rough and yes God....I am not taking anything out of your hands....I have faith that all will be well!

Instead of panicking....okay....fully panicking, I decided to pray about it. I gave God my problems and so as to stay strong and not try to take them back, I decided I needed back up. So off I went to the internet and looked up some novena's. If you are Catholic then you know that novena's are tried and true methods of prayer for miracles straight across the board. I was looking for a novena explicitly for financial help when I ran across the Mother Teresa's  Emergency Novena. I love Mother Teresa and this for me is an urgent emergency, so it was definitely a fit. This novena is simply the Memorare said nine times in a row for your intention. For those of you who don't know what the Memorare is, it is a beautiful prayer to the Blessed Mother asking her to intercede on behalf of the one in need. Attached to the novena was a message board asking if anyone had ever said the novena and if so....their results. Many answered but the one that caught my eye was from someone who was not a Catholic but who had been given the novena in prison. He said the prayer asking for intercession as he wanted his life to turn around. Apparently his prayer request was granted.

I continue to hand this all over to God. I know He is listening and lest He not forget my request.....I have also sent the Blessed Mother to remind Him. Yes, I can be persistent like that. In truth, I have also sent St. Jude His way and I am thinking St. Pio and St. Theresa may also be paying Him a visit very soon. Yeah....I would call this an emergency.

To me, the biggest leap of faith is relinquishing control and letting God have it all. However, it becomes exponentially easier when I take things into true perspective and see where my need to control has left me. I can almost hear the ethereal question...."How's that whole control thing working out for you?" And to that I can honestly say...."It's not!" 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Memorare

Remember O most gracious Virgin Mary

that never was it known

that anyone who fled to thy protection 

implored thy help 

or sought they intercession 

was left unaided

Inspired by this confidence

I fly unto thee O Virgin of Virgins my Mother

To thee I come

Before thee I stand...sinful and sorrowful

O Mother of the word incarnate

despise not my petitions

but in they mercy

hear and answer me.

Oh Diet Mt. Dew....I DO Love You (An oldy but a goody)

Well...it is Thursday again and I am going to lay a little Health and Wellness on you. Actually I am going to tell you a little about the vice I like to call......Diet Mt. Dew. So head on over and enjoy!

http://cmom-toomuchinformation.blogspot.com/2014/06/oh-diet-mt-dewi-do-love-you-oldy-but.html

Project #1.1....An Up Cycled Fire Pit

Projects!!!! Well to catch you up on the huge project that is my back yard, the deck frame is in place. It had to be in place before the pool could go up. Last night, a tractor was brought in and the ground where the pool will be, was scraped level. That will be new and novel since my my last pool became extremely un-level over time, earth movement and sand/dirt shifting. My last pool had an unintentional deep end which was almost six inches deeper than the rest of the pool. This could explain why the liner no longer fit!

Since last week, we have still had to dodge weather and work around work schedules (theirs not mine), but the deck frame is complete. After the pool is put up, then the deck boards will be put in place and finally the stairs and gates. These poor guys aren't going to know what to do with themselves when they don't have to drive to my house every day after work to put in another 6-8 hours. NOT! 

Last night when the tractor arrived, the guys let David give the tractor a spin. He had a ball. It wasn't all fun and games though as the ground is now pool ready. Hopefully today will start the pool set up and then we should be just days away from pool time beginning. I will be sure and keep you all posted as this project moves forward.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So as this huge project is going on, we have begun some smaller projects too. I think I may have mentioned that we were going to have a fire pit area. After a good bit of research and some Pinterest browsing, I finally came up with something I liked, was within my skill level and best of all was in my budget...free! Free always makes me happy.

Okay....this is where I forgot I was suppose to be documenting everything for this blog, so I forgot to take pictures along the way. However, I did take a finished project picture, so I guess I didn't completely drop the ball. I also planned to pull my how-to instructions from Pinterest but apparently I didn't pin them, so you will
jut have to take my word for how to build it. Again though....it is not rocket science and I have the completed picture for you. Here goes....

To make this fire pit, myself, Z and Z's girlfriend A, used a portable metal fire pit I already had. I had purchased it at a garage sale for about $10 several years ago. We had never used it much because a)it was portable and had a tenancy to move during high KS winds and b)it was just not very safe. The fire pit was on wheels and a stand with a base tray, a wire basket that fit into the base and then a lid. We proceeded to take it all apart and then when we got to the wheels and stand, I tried to unbolt them. Unfortunately after sitting in the outdoor elements for several years, the bolts were rusted on. I then allowed Z to take our trusty sledge hammer and beat the wheels and stand until they broke loose. This left holes in the bottom tray where the bolts had been which is fine because the tray needed to have the holes....I assume for ventilation.

We then laid the base on the ground and marked an area about 3-4 inches larger all the way around it. At this point, A and I began to dig the circumference we had marked and then we dug about 4-5 inches deep. We laid the base into the bottom of the hole and then put sand around the area between the edge of the tray and the edge of the dug out wall. Once this was done, we then reassembled the original fire pit putting the basket into the base and then covering the basket with the lid. After that, we took paver stones(we used 2x6x18 stones) and arranged the pavers around the fire pit building up the sides.

The completed project took less than 30 minutes and looks much better than the old fire pit and I believe it is also safer. I think I am going to fill the base with pea gravel or rock as most fire pits have some form of this in the bottom. The lid can also be removed and a grilling grate can be placed over the top to allow the fire pit to also double as a grill. Versatile and free....what more could a girl want???? I really can't wait to start putting our new creation to good use.

Currently with my torn up yard as the backdrop for this new up cycled creation, it doesn't look as amazing as I think it will when Project #1 is actually finished. Still though, it is something that we will be able to use and enjoy for a long time to come and will extend our outdoor season time, from early spring to late fall.

Okay....so there you have it. Since project #2 is actually going to be the basement room.....we will simply call the fire pit, Project #1.1! We are moving right along and progress is being made. So how are your summer projects going? Any you would like to share? You can either share them by commenting in the "comments" section of this blog or message or email me. I would love to see them and share them in my upcoming blogs.

Until next week.....wish us luck on Project #1!

David and Life With Special Needs...."Staring at Special Needs"

So here you have it. Tuesday's blog about David and Life With Special Needs. Enjoy Staring at Special Needs! 

http://theincrediblemrdavid.blogspot.com/2014/06/staring-at-special-needs.html

Sunday.....The Way it Should Be!

I love Sunday! Yeah, I don't just "like it" but I truly love it. Well, actually I love what in my head I believe Sunday should be.

When I was in my late teens and early twenties, I was friends with two sisters who came from a family of 12 kids. While my friends were second and third to the youngest....they had many older brothers and sisters. Every Sunday at their house was Sunday dinner. Yes, they were a Catholic family (no surprise I am sure) and the parents and the kids left at home would usually go to 11 a.m. mass. Then by 12:30 they were home and the rest of the family would start coming over. Everyone usually brought a covered dish and that was supplemented by fried chicken and dessert. While the food was always amazing (I still have recipes that I begged for back from those days) it was the family, the noise and the being together that made it so special.

As if there weren't enough people running in and out of their house on Sunday's with kids, spouses and grand kids, there was also an open door policy for friends and I was lucky enough to fall into that category. At least I think there was an open door policy. If not....I apologize now for spending just about every Sunday there for several years. At any rate, there always seemed to be room for one more and everyone was treated like family, no one went away hungry and usually in the summer time, there were still people there until 9 or 10 p.m. at night. Or again....maybe I just stayed too long. Whatever the case though, I lived for and loved my Sundays back then. My own home life at that time wasn't nearly as much fun and being that there was only my brother and I and most of the time we weren't speaking, Sunday was my day to be a part of something to me that was rare and special.

I never forgot those times. They stayed with me and I always wanted that for my kids. I wanted a day where we could unite as a family and spend the day unplugged and just talk, laugh and remember that those with us whether related by blood or not.....were family. At times I have succeeded at this better than others. I have always been the one to take in my kids friends and feed them and make them feel a part of our family, because I always remember how much I needed that and how great it felt when it was done for me. Other times though....well you know my story. Not everything always goes as planned in Lisaland.

It occurred to me on Saturday as we worked late into the evening on the pool and backyard and then we sat around talking and laughing and sharing stories, that I want that again. I want potluck dinners, an open door policy and family, friends and framily coming and going, laughing and talking and looking forward to that one day a week when we can all be together. I want pool time, bbq's and board games. I want music, laughter and sitting back full, happy and in the midst of amazing company. I want Sundays!

Well.... there you have it. I love Sunday's the way they should be. God first, family second and good food, good friends and lots of fun to follow. So just so you all know.....when the back yard is done and the pool is finished.....there will be an open door policy on Sundays in Lisaland. Bring your suit, your favorite dish and be ready for Sunday....the way it should be!

A Few Words to Dads

Father's Day is one of the most difficult holidays for me. Part of it is over the fact that I have a really ambivalent relationship with my own dad and part of it is because my kids no longer have their dad. It has been better though in the last couple of years watching first my step-son becoming a dad and watching him thrive in the role and then this last year watching my other son also becoming a dad knowing how profoundly this has changed him. Regardless of any faults these two guys may have, they understand the fundamental importance of what it means to be a dad. I couldn't be prouder.

As a girl, a daddy is suppose to be the one of the top of a handful of people in her life that remains in her heart forever. A daddy is suppose to be a girls first love and the person who teaches her that all men should be held to a certain standard in her life. He should be the one that loves her fiercely and is willing to do everything from having that tea party, to helping her through the rough patches of life. He is suppose to let her wrap herself not only around his little finger, but also completely and totally around his heart. He should be her biggest cheerleader and also the one she fears disappointing the most. He should love her without condition, support her dreams and guide her to be a confident and proud woman.

I have a dad but I never had any of those things. I had the best my dad knew how to give, but I never was his little girl. Now don't get me wrong, as I have said before, I am not feeling sorry for myself. I did have a dad in my life, however...the father/daughter road we took ended us to a place of co-existence but never understanding, respect or even friendship. We are just two people cast in these roles in life with no instruction guide to get us through. At 50+ years old though, I have finally gotten to the point in my life that I can say, I understand....sort of. It doesn't erase the years of hurt, sometimes embarrassment and often times anger that my dad acted as he did, but knowing him as an adult and being an imperfect adult myself......I do have a better understanding of possibly why he acted as he did and while it doesn't change the past it does make it so that I can completely forgive him for the hurt I have held within me all these years.

So to you fathers out there that like my own dad who were not given that owners manual to raising your kids (especially your daughters) I would like to give you a few words of advice from a daughter, a child and someone who grew up feeling anything but loved:

Being an absentee dad is not being a dad and you can be physically there and emotionally absent. That is almost as bad as not having a dad at all. Remember dads...you are your daughters example of how men should treat women and how your daughters should expect to be treated in the future. You are also your sons example of how a real man should act, love and treat women. Ignoring your kids in favor of your own wants and desires makes them feel as if they are an imposition and unworthy of your attention. This is something they take through life. As a father, you are molding your kids, they need discipline and guidelines....but they also need acceptance, understanding and encouragement. Again....how you treat them when they make mistakes and even fail from time to time and how you make them feel on these occasions is going to be what they take on into their adult life and it will be a direct reflection of how they feel about trying, failing and themselves. Also remember that the kind of parent you are now is not the kind of grandparent you will be in the future. Age and wisdom will change your views and you will soften, learn and grow. When you get to that point in life, you want to see your own children's parenting skills to be a positive reflection of what they learned from you. No grandparent wants to see a miserable grandchild and know that their previous actions when they were parents was the catalyst for this. Most of all, remember that you may not have lots of money and you may not be able to always supply your kids with the latest video game, the smartest phone or a brand new car, but regardless of income or social status, you can always give them the greatest gifts of all......your heart, your time and most of all......your unconditional love.

Now to all you dads out there.....and I know some phenomenal ones......I hope you can take today to relax, enjoy and know just how great you are to the ones who call you "daddy!"

Happy Fathers Day