Strange Days and Who Shot J.R.....Again?

Have you ever hit Wednesday and already felt as if you had lived several weeks since Monday? That is me this week. In fact this is just a very strange week. I guess the only way to top a strange week is to share my train of thought with an even stranger blog.

My week started with my gallbladder surgery. As surgeries go....this was by far the easiest I have ever had. I was at the hospital by 2 p.m. and although the surgery was suppose to be at 4, it was pushed back until 5:30, and yet I was still home by 9 p.m. I went into surgery telling myself that I was going to be out of recovery in record time. Apparently I was. I was dressed before they could even take my final vitals. It went well and all I have to show for it is a small glued together incision in my belly button. Thank you Thiry for the ride!

Yesterday I started out feeling only mild discomfort. I decided to fight the discomfort and go about my life doing my usual...minus any lifting. I can't lift more than 20 lbs for two weeks. By late morning I was starting to feel more than discomfort. YES! I over did. I went immediately home to the comfort of my bed which actually held no comfort at all. Meanwhile I get a call from Z telling me that he needs a doctor appointment. He has been lifting weights with his brother in the last week and yesterday about mid morning....he couldn't lift his arms. Then he started getting charlie horses or muscle cramping in his biceps. I thought he had just overworked them but he said he hurt enough that he was afraid he had done something bad to them. Apparently he had. He had overworked his muscles to the point that he had caused keatones (think that is what they are called) to explode in is system. The norm is 35 to 250. His were 16,000. This can cause kidney problems or complete renal failure. I had no idea this could happen. He cannot lift anything (especially not his brother...which puts us in a pickle right now) until his muscles have healed. He also has to drink tons of water to help bring down the levels in his system. He then has to go back in on Friday to have it all rechecked again. REALLY?????

Then last night was Z's spring music program. It is the first one I have ever had to miss. By the time evening rolled around...I  knew even walking from the parking lot into the school would have been impossible. Add to that sitting for a couple of hours and I am not sure I would have survived. Luckily his vocal music teacher allowed him to get a copy of the video tape made so that I could watch it when he got home. It wasn't the same as being there...but it sure was better than missing it all.

This morning before my eyes were even opened....Z was standing by my bed telling me he was running fever. He was/is. Right at 102 now. It is accompanied by sneezing, scratchy throat and stuffed nose. Could it possibly be that spring is here? And then finally.....I was able to get in touch with the IRS!

It has done me absolutely no good to be one of the first filers this year. I finally got a letter last Saturday telling me that I needed to call the IRS because they had some questions on my return. I finally got a hold of them yesterday after waiting 2 hours on hold Monday with no results. They quizzed me about both my 2011 and my 2012 return and then said that my account was verified but that I would have to contact another number today to find out the status of my return. Today I found that my return had been put on hold the minute they received it (almost a month ago) because apparently they suspected that someone else was trying to use my social security number. It might have been nice if they hadn't waited all this time to let me know that. Anyway that is why the letter and the need for verification. Now that it has been verified and taken off hold.....it will be another six weeks before I receive it. I decided this morning that the next time I owe the IRS......I am going to wait about a month and then call them and ask them a bunch of questions telling them that I am just trying to verify that they actually ARE the IRS. Then I am going to tell them that now that I am satisfied that they are who they say they are.....they "should" get a check from me in the next six weeks provided I don't find anymore discrepancies. This would however become null and void if I find that they are federally delinquent in anyway. I think this would work....don't you? 

Well...now you see....it has been a lot for such a short period of time. Today I do actually feel better but so as not to feel like I did yesterday afternoon....I think I will just relax and not overdue today. Tomorrow I should be fine!!!

So....about thirty years ago...on Friday night at 8 p.m. I was usually in front of the tv. Actually me, my family and millions of others. What was the draw? From 8 p.m. to 9 p.m. whether you were country or city, rich or poor.....we all spent an hour in front of the tv...watching...DALLAS! It was a time when oil wells across the country were busy working around the clock and oil was black gold for many. Wealth across the board was rising as oil was being discovered all over Kansas, Oklahoma and Texas...and you could scarcely drive a country mile without seeing the landscape dotted with dereks and often full on crews working to pull that oil from inside the earth. The 80's were a prosperous time for many in this country and the show Dallas was as much a part of the decade as big hair and Madonna.

Every week the country tuned in to watch the Ewing family and see what money and power was driving them to do this week. We loved the delightfully evil J.R. who ran Ewing Oil with a firm hand and the morality and ethics of satan himself, Bobby (J.R.'s younger brother) who was the polar opposite of J.R. in both ethics and personality, Sue Ellen (J.R.'s long suffering wife) who went from beauty queen to wife of an oil man...was cheated on, cheated, became an alcoholic, went on the wagon, suffered depressions, had a child she wasn't sure who the daddy was and finally became an independent business woman who left J.R. and was able to step outside his shadow. Last but not least there was Pam (Bobby's wife) who was as good as she was beautiful and because she came from the family of the Ewings arch enemy.... she never stood a chance with J.R. at the helm of the family. Of course over the more than a decade that Dallas ran....there were many more characters who came and went an added great story lines and even series spinoffs, but no storyline in history ever had the impact of WHO SHOT J.R.?

J.R. Ewing's conniving, back stabbing, cheating ways finally caught up with him on March 21, 1980 when "someone" shot J.R. at the end of the season. America was left on the edge of their seat wondering who had shot him and if he would be back the following season. What had been a good show up until then....catapulted it to the status of great and history making....leaving the entire country wondering and trying to figure out WHO SHOT J.R.? That spring and summer it was the question on everyones mind and being that good ol' J.R. had made an enemy out of just about everyone he had ever known.....the list to pick from was endless. Even the cast did not know who shot him. In a stroke of genius by the writer/director/powers that be......several characters were given scenes and taped as the killer. Only in November 1980 did we and the cast learn that Sue Ellen's little sister Kirsten had been the culprit. From that moment on until Dallas's last episode in 1991....dishes went undone, phone calls went unmade and people around the country were glued to their tvs on Friday night. We simply couldn't get enough Dallas. When it ended....Friday nights fizzled on tv as nothing could replace J.R. and the Ewings. I was literally sad.

In the mid to late 90's, cable tv station TNN picked up  Dallas and once more I was able to watch Dallas from beginning to end and see every dirty trick J.R. ever pulled. I loved being able to watch the Ewings all over again and see both fashion and characters change from 1978 to 1991. It really was history in the making. The oil boom was all but over and many who had ridden high on it for years had ended up going bust, some losing everything. The glitz and glam of the 80's was gone and the reality of the 90's held no such mesmerizing history or tv programing. Thus the reruns were welcome. I watched them until they were replaced by the Waltons. I loved the Waltons too....but John Boy was no J.R.

You can imagine my surprise and sheer joy when I saw a couple of years ago that Dallas was coming back. Not reruns mind you....but a whole new show. It was to have many of the old core characters (yes...J.R., Bobby and Sue Ellen) along with their grown children John Ross Jr. and Christopher. It was in someways to take off where Dallas left us in 1991 but at the same time.....take the Ewings and Southfork ranch and make a whole new chapter of Dallas...all its own. The old characters were interviewed over and over and their excitement to be brought together again and resurrect the roles they made famous decades before was evident. The magic was back and I couldn't wait to see it.

I admit that I watched the new Dallas for several weeks and the acting by the new characters especially John Ross Jr. and Christoper was amazing. They were the J.R. and Bobby of this generation and yet they each held their own uniqueness. And the old characters kept enough of who we remembered and added enough of who we expected them to be now, to make the show as comfortable as a familiar old chair to watch. For some reason though....after several weeks...I just quit watching. Not sure why.

A few weeks ago the totally unthinkable and yet the totally expected happened. After years of fighting health issues, alcoholism and a liver transplant.....actor Larry Hagman who made J.R. famous.....died. I don't cry over the death of actors.....but I did shed a few tears when I heard he was gone. Hagman outside J.R. was a larger than life character whose acting skills were far more enormous than I think even he knew. Just as he had made each of us wish we had been the one who had pulled the trigger on that fateful day in 1980.....he had also made us laugh when he had played the lovable Major Nelson on I Dream of Jennie. He had great comic timing along with the ability to do pratfalls with the best of them. He was an actor of great talent...so much so....that when he died, we mourned not only for Larry Hagman, but also for J.R. Ewing and for Tony Nelson. Now THAT is an actor.

It crossed my mind when he passed that perhaps Dallas would no longer hold the attention of the public without the glue that had held it together all these years. Then the other day I saw that the next episode would be his funeral and believe it or not I heard the question posed once again.....WHO SHOT J.R.? Yeah...I hadn't watched in a year or so....but I simply couldn't miss this. I was glad that I didn't. Many of the original cast who had come and gone over the years were back to mourn/celebrate J.R.'s passing. It was all dependent on how badly he had screwed (for lack of a better word) them. I can't be positive but I have a feeling that some of the tears shed in this episode were more than acting. As I watched....I was reminded of what a really good show this still is and how wonderfully acted it is. It is as if the old formula from the original show has been taken and maybe even improved upon. The show actually had me in tears. Perhaps these actors were at the top of their game in this episode. Maybe this was their farewell tribute to the man who without his ability to play scoundrel the way he did.....Dallas might possibly never have made it to this point. OR...maybe this show is just this good and I should start watching it again. Whatever the case....I am sure both J.R. and Larry Hagman are smiling down as this was written in just the way J.R. would have wanted it. Even dead....J.R. will be a major part of the story line for sometime to come. He went out shrouded in several mysteries that will take at least a season...maybe even more....to uncover, and once again......he left enough enemies behind to post the question....WHO SHOT J.R.? Yes...I have no doubt J.R. is in heaven with a bourbon and branch just waiting to see who did him in this time.

Strange blog today? Strange few days! 

Taken to Task and Blessings

Sometimes....when it seems that things are circling the drain and you can't count on much of anything...maybe that is when God is telling us it is time to start counting our blessings. And yes...you may quote me.....she said with a smile.

It is a new work/school week and although the temp is only about 25 here, there is blessedly no wind. (A blessing if you live in Kansas). The forecast this morning was extremely encouraging that perhaps we are seeing the tail end of winter. (Could this be another blessing?) Next week is spring break and it looks as if it will be lovely. I can't wait as I will have surgery behind me and hopefully have things in better order all the way around.

 This weekend was really nice. Friday I had everything cleaned and Saturday and Sunday I just relaxed. The best part of yesterday was getting to spend the afternoon with two wonderful friends. One from out of town and one from in town. Sadly....I never see either of them enough. It was nice to laugh, over talk each other and just have fun. It occurred to me as we were chatting that I simply do not laugh enough. I must remedy that!

Yesterday's blog took me four hours to write and when I finally hit publish.....I still wasn't sure that my words captured what my heart and mind were trying to convey. I know this is a concern of many bloggers, but usually not a concern of mine. I usually have no qualms about my blogs....but according to some...perhaps I should. I received quite a few comments on the blog and then a number more through facebook. A good many were complimentary but there were a few that were full on attacks about how I could post such a "narrow minded" view. I was also taken to task by a couple of other people on past political posts.....and on my fb posts. I had one say they had unfriended me because my fb posts were negative and brought them down. Naturally there was no name attached....and quite honestly, I really don't care who said it because of course I respect their right to voice any opinion they choose. Obviously though....that tolerance is not a two way street for some. Others again....told me that I was basically crazy for my beliefs and that people (guess they considered themselves a majority) were sick of what I had to say. I would like to say that like most times it all just slid away like water off a ducks back, but yesterday it didn't. Maybe it was because I didn't feel a 100% or maybe it just caught me in the wrong mood.....whatever the case though, the words stayed with me all day and even through last night. It was nothing that hasn't been said to me before and don't get me wrong.....it didn't hurt my feelings, it actually just made me mad. WHY? I am usually not one to give anyone else power over my emotions....unless of course you are my dad, but that is a whole other story. So why did I let people make me mad? Why did I care what anyone thought? It really did bug me.

Waking up this morning....I felt better all the way around and answers seemed to come more readily. I think the reason that the comments made me mad was because it was another case of people who claims to be "tolerant" of different beliefs, cultures and schools of thought....right up until someone says something they don't agree with. At that point...all bets are off and suddenly tolerance is thrown out the window. The word hypocrite comes to mind....but then again....I am not much of a name caller.

I get really tired of words being thrown around like "tolerance" and "acceptance" when to many they are terribly one sided. "I tolerate you as long as you think like I do." "I accept you as long as you say what I want to hear and support only that which I support." However.....if you do think for yourself and your thoughts aren't what some considered the status quo, then other words are used. "Narrow minded," "illiterate," "racist," "terrorist," "anti-woman," and those are just the ones I can repeat in polite company. It did occur to me though after a good nights sleep that there are always going to be people who will bury their head in the sand, allow others to think for them and shy away from anything that doesn't make them rainbows and unicorn happy. They live in a rose colored world and refuse to allow anything in that doesn't either agree with their way of thinking or makes them have to think outside their bubble. Now I am not being critical. I myself have done some pretty lengthy vacationing in denial land. I have turned off the news, hidden some posts on fb and refused to read anything that might make believe that anything outside my world could actually affect and disturb my world. Sometimes when you have a lot on your plate....this is the only way you can exist and maintain your sanity at the same time.

My issue now is this. I am no longer in my 20's, 30's or even 40's. I see life through much different eyes than I did back then and experience has taught me a great deal. I have learned that just because you don't want to hear something doesn't make it any less true, that nothing is guaranteed us and that life can change and turn inside out with every breath we take. I have also learned that never speaking out makes you part of the problem, having your own thoughts makes you an individual and letting those who disagree with you have control of you....is a recipe for disaster.

I guess what it boils down to is that yesterday the once shy and non-confrontational little girl that I used to be came to the for front and it bothered me not that others disagreed with what I had to say.....but that somehow I had failed because I hadn't pleased everyone with my words. Apparently that people pleaser gene still lies just below the surface and yesterday it decided to show itself. The truth is....I am not sorry for anything I say because I am always careful to never be hateful or vindictive in my blogs or on fb. My opinions are my own and I don't claim to speak for anyone but myself. Bottom line though....there will always be those who view a difference of opinion or something that makes them think outside their own comfort zone as hateful and vindictive and there is simply nothing I can do about it. I am honestly grateful that people take the time to read what I have to say whether they agree with me or not and 99 and 9/10% of the time.....I am thrilled with all comments positive or negative. In fact the negative ones are welcomed because it tells me that someone not only read what I had to say.....but they actually thought about what I said. It stayed with them enough that they couldn't help but comment. It shows that words...my words for a brief few minutes held their attention, made them feel and caused a reaction....and quite honestly.....what more could any writer want? (Yep....another blessing!)

Catholicism Through My Eyes: Birth Control

Yes....Daylight Savings time is upon us...and may I say....I am not a fan!!! Good Sunday morning. Here in the central part of the US it is cold, dreary and too early to be up...and yet here I am.

It has occurred to me that since I have started writing these Sunday blogs dedicated to my religion....that I have started learning a little more about myself, my religion and the views of the world around me. I have received both good and bad reviews (which is par for the course on most of my blogs) and I have received ideas for future blogs and questions about blogs I have already written. One Sunday I will dedicate my blog to those questions.

This week I am tackling a subject which the Church takes heat on from both non-Catholics and Catholics alike. And right here....I need to point out something I have learned. The Catholic church seems to take a lot of heat where public opinion is concerned on a lot of issues. Why? I don't know of any other Christian religion where such misinformation and often public disdain are so prevalent. The Catholic church really is not so much different in beliefs or in socially viewed problems as any other church. In fact....in some cases....the Church set the standard for other churches, yet somehow....us Catholics seem to take the brunt of criticism for all that is bad in the non-secular world. It seems that every week my blogs start out with.....words like "misconception" and "misunderstood." It is interesting if you think about it. I guess that is what comes from being the worlds oldest Christian religion. Today's topic is a bit different though. Today I am discussing a topic that  most other churches have loosened their stance on.....and because of this...the Catholic church seems to take even more heat being one of the few remaining holdouts to their stand on it. Today I will talk about birth control.

I can't tell you the times I have been told that the Catholic church is anti-woman because they don't support a woman's right to control her own body. It is a battle that has been fought since birth control was invented and since abortion was brought to the fore front of our thinking with Roe v. Wade. While abortion is huge....I will leave that for another day. Today I will talk birth control.

Birth control (bc) has been a deal breaker for many Catholics. One of two things seems to happen, they either pretend that the Church has no ruling on birth control and live as sinning Catholics or they leave the Church altogether blaming bc for this decision. Bottom line is that most everything you do in life has rules and the Church is no exception. You choose not to live by rules in any other aspect of life and in most cases you are fired, let go, asked to leave, jailed or you stick around and pretend to be something you are not...all the while knowing that you are breaking the rules. In the Catholic church...the latter often seems to be the case. For some reason....people have a great deal of trouble with the no bc rule in the Church. My question is....why? To me....if we do as God asks and trust in Him, then we would have complete faith that we are not going to have more children than we are suppose to. It should be as simple as God said it! I believe in it! End of story! But it isn't that simple....is it? No...us humans allow our will to over ride God's and it has been that way since Adam and Eve.

Our issues with bc stem from so many places and they are all man made issues....not God made. The moment man quit letting it be about God and started making it about man....then issues were created. When man started proclaiming that we as a population were getting out of control and that there would not end up being enough resources to go around.....then people jumped on the bc band wagon. The fact is....it has been shown to us time and again that when we listen and follow God with our hearts and with faith then He always provides. Anyone remember the loaves and fishes? 

Forms of bc have been around for a long time, however it began being socially and actively pushed by Margaret Sanger beginning at the turn of the last century. While many will tell you that Sangers reason for pushing bc had to do with her own mother who had multiple pregnancies and who ended up dying at the age of 50, another not so widely talked about reason was her prejudice against the African American race. There are published accounts of her belief that she found them an unworthy race so in the guise of "helping" African American women....her true reasoning was that if she introduced them all to bc thus stopping their procreating.....eventually they would just cease to exist. She  felt they were too ignorant to realize that behind her act of "care and concern" was her true desire to wipe out an entire race. So ultimately....she was pro-woman if.......you were the right race? She also felt that women should be able to limit their pregnancies in the union of marriage and also that in the "modern" world women should be free to have sex with or without marriage without the worry of pregnancy. What did this all equal? Mans desire to live man's will and not God's. Man was creating a mess by turning his back on marriage, sex as an act of love and procreation and God's will.

We no longer left the size of our families up to God and many felt that sex was not just for marriage any more. The world of morality and the belief that God's will was to be followed was quickly being taken over by a more secular belief that man was somehow his own supreme being and God either did not exist or if He did....He had somehow made a mistake by giving families many children and calling sex outside of marriage a sin. Because of this new brand of thinking....Sangers push for bc for all....led to the opening of Planned Parenthood. Could any place on earth be any more offensive to God? Possibly only one.  An abortion clinic.

In today's modern world....Planned Parenthood has become synonymous with women's rights. It is almost a right of passage for some mothers and daughters as the moment young girls start their periods.....their mothers march them into PP to start them on bc. Young girls who should still be passing notes (or in today's world...texts) and not yet even thinking about their first kiss are being started on bc with the expectation of them having sex. Apparently we quit telling our kids that sex is special and that they are special....therefore saving themselves is special....and now just send them out the door saying..."Did you take your pill...oh and be sure and wear a condom!" 

Yes....I have raised teenagers and I know that the reality of today's world is that kids are having sex and kids are getting pregnant. Even in good Christian homes where parents do try to teach abstinence and the fact that you can only have your first time once and that you are special so it should be given to someone special, and most importantly....that sex outside marriage is a SIN.....kids are still having sex. Why? Because kids live on a strict diet of sex from the time they are old enough to understand the world around them. It is in tv, movies, books, magazines, on the internet and in the schools. Even in a home where sex and the value of self is taught.....we are fighting a tough battle against what society now calls the norm. Sex has gone from a special God given act of love and procreation to nothing more than another bodily function and PP and society in general propagate this message every chance they get.  Still and all though.....giving up and putting our kids on bc with the expectation that they will have sex just sends the message that mans will is greater than God's. When we quit listening to God and quit living by His teachings.....then man found the need for bc because it was a "fix" to the mess we had created. While many will disagree with this (even a great many Catholics I am sure), the bottom line is......bc is mans will circumventing Gods. We are telling God that somehow He....perfection in every way....got it wrong and man is stepping in to fix it.

How have we fixed it? With bc we have sent a message that sex is okay outside marriage and that no matter what age you are....sex is fine as long as you are protected. We have also said that in marriage....limiting our families is fine and choosing ourselves and our careers over children is fine too. How has this worked out for us? Marriages up to the mid 1950's seldom ended in divorce. Since that time....the divorce rate has climbed each decade. In fact the number of people who have been divorced and remarried multiple times is astronomical. In our self involved world....we keep searching for happiness on our terms only to be disappointed. Sex is seldom looked on as beautiful and wonderful anymore. It has been trivialized to an act of bodily satisfaction. We quit teaching kids that sex is not only special but also sacred. Our first times are not to be given away like an unwanted object but to be given as a gift of not only our body but also our hearts, thus...we should be very choosey about who receives this gift and the recipient should be worthy. If this were taught by word and example in every home.....I have no doubt that the number of kids having sex would drastically go down. Instead though....many leave this extremely important education to schools, friends, the media and society in general and then are shocked when they find out their thirteen year olds are having sex with multiple partners.

We cannot control the world, we can only control our own. Birth control and the teaching of abstinence are not popular in our modern world. As Catholics though....we are taught that the only bc is abstinence. If we are unmarried.....the only way to avoid the sin of premarital sex is to abstain. This means total abstinence. Regardless what a certain president once told us...the Church still maintains...sex is sex. If you are married and wish to limit your family.....then again....abstinence is the only way. Sex inside marriage was designed for procreation and if our faith in God's will is strong nothing will ever be given us that is without purpose and not ultimately in our best interest. God has the big picture and we don't and that is something we must always keep in mind.

While many of you I have no doubt will read this and walk away feeling no different, maybe now you have a little more understanding of where and why the Church has this standing on bc. Society and people such as Sanger have muddied the waters of right and wrong and mans will vs. God's will. Even many Catholics find themselves at odds with this, but as Catholics we must always remember that sometimes the difficult things, the things we accept simply because God asked us to...showing that we have complete faith in His word....are the things that mean the difference between heaven and a rather lengthy stay in purgatory....or even hell.

What is my take on the Church and bc? I grew up with my mom. I remember Mom talking to me about sex when she knew I was old enough to comprehend the notion. In fact I remember our first talks on the subject rather uncomfortable because sex was just an icky word to me at the time. However...Mom was persistent and also wise in knowing how much was too much information. It seems that in some form....Mom and I always discussed sex. Never did we talk about it though that God and our faith and the Catholic church were not brought into it. I knew from the beginning that sex was God given and thus must be treated as a gift.

In high school and college...many of my friends were on bc and most were having sex. At that point in time though...even though many were sexually active, most were monogamous in relationships and many ended up married to their partners. Of course it was a different era. I sadly did not wait for marriage and many has been the time over the years that I wonder how different life would have been had I waited. I also did not go on bc. I did get pregnant before I was married. Would bc have changed my life? Dramatically! Because I became pregnant.....my life which had been going in one direction, suddenly changed its course and went in a completely different one. I thank God every day that I did not choose bc back then. Honestly.....I can't imagine my life without my son. He as given me more joy and love and given my life more meaning than I ever dreamed possible.

As you may have already guessed. I am hardly the perfect human....let alone the perfect Catholic. I am a sinner of great magnitude and I have learned that listening to my own will above God's never ends well for me. I also realize that in this out of control world....why parents wanting only the best for their kids do see bc as a way to protect them in the short run. But sometimes I think bc is also seen as the easy way out. By putting them on bc perhaps they feel this absolves them of their duty of having those "uncomfortable" conversations over and over again. Regardless of the reasoning though.....if you are a practicing Catholic.....no matter what you tell yourself or how you try to justify it.....bc is wrong! It is a sin and if you are using bc OR if you are responsible for putting your child on it....you are willfully committing sin thus making it impossible for you to receive the sacraments. God said it! I believe it! End of story!

Wow....this was kind of uncomfortable for me to write today. While intellectually I might see myself on the fence at times about bc....religiously I am not. Knowing something and understanding why some others might see it differently still does not make it right. I feel I may have rambled a bit as it was somewhat difficult for me to say all that I wanted to say and make it understandable to those who read this. When I come to issues such as this and feel the pressure of those outside the Catholic church and even some inside who either do not understand or disagree....I always go back to the quote my mother used to say when someone disagreed with the teachings of the Church. "The Catholic church is the hardest church to live in.....but the easiest church to die in." Today....with this subject....I totally agree!

Tried and True on Pinterest

Welcome to Saturday! Even though we have another small bought of colder weather headed our way....along with some of our famous Kansas "breezy" (translated means gale force winds) conditions, it still feels like spring might just be close at hand.

In case you are wondering about the tantrum and pity party I spoke of the other day....well I decided to use my powers of pity for good and I channeled all my "poor me" energy into cleaning. I did a two day marathon cleaning and by last night around 7, I had no energy left to tantrum or party (pity or otherwise). The fact is that my house is REALLY clean which was actually a mental boost and the non-stop clean-a-thon left me too exhausted to do anything but fall in bed and go to sleep. So...currently the pity problem remains unchanged, but rather than handle it in a non-productive way, I chose to put it all in God's hands and clean. Hmmm....perhaps I should take note of this for next time.....'cause there will ALWAYS be a next time.

Well....quite honestly, I had every intention of talking politics today. I have had some things on certain issues of late just about ready to burst the seams of my brain, but truthfully.....today I just can't bring myself to the negativity which my political posts often cause inside of me. Add that to the fact that I am mentally trying to prepare for tomorrows blog (do you like that little teaser????) and I just wasn't up for it today. Trust me though...it is coming. Maybe next week after the surgery and all.

If not politics.....what then? I know that it hasn't been that long ago when I was singing the praises of Pinterest. Well today I thought I would tell you a little about what that sight has taught me. First of all....there is a meme going around that says something like, "Pinterest is just electronic hoarding." From what I have seen....this isn't far off the mark. In fact...if not for Pinterest, it is quite clear to me that I would likely be on an upcoming Hoarders episode. I currently have 96 boards and 5,551 pins. For those of you lost at this point.....a board is something you create virtually much like you would create a physical file. You name the board and then each time you see something either on Pinterest or most anywhere on the internet that falls under that board topic....you pin it to the board. For instance....if you name a board Food, then recipes that look good or you would like to try would likely be pinned to that board. The 96 boards I have are quite detailed and some are even sub categories of a main topic. As I said.....Pinterest either shines a glaring light on my propensity to hoard or it casts a rather favorable light on my new found organizational skills. I prefer to go with the latter.

Something that Pinterest has done for me personally has been to give me simple and effective ideas on everything from cooking to organizing. It has also made me realize that really there is no recipe or project that can't be found on the internet and most with very detailed instructions. Going back to Pinterest though.....I am sure like thousands of other people, it is one thing to see something cool or interesting and decide to pin it, but a whole other thing carrying it out. I will see a recipe and think, "Wow....I have to try that, but I wonder if it is as good as it looks?" The same goes with craft and organization ideas. Do they really work? I especially wonder when they have cheesy comments under the picture like "We tried this tonight. You will throw out all other recipes," or "My husband is begging for this meal for the third night in a row." They just sound a little too good to be true.

I decided with my Pinterest hoard, that before I pinned more....I needed to try some of what I had already hoarded. My one issue is that unlike all these other smart hoar.....errr....pinners, I keep forgetting to take pictures of my befores and afters of my finished meals and projects. Sigh....someday perhaps I will get it all together, but until then....please bare with me. At any rate...most things that I have tried off Pinterest have been successful and I have been very pleased with the outcome...so I thought I would share them with you....minus the pictures.

Lets start with ORGANIZATION! If you know me at all...you know that my greatest enemy has been holding onto things both physically and emotionally and because of this...clutter. Once I was finally into the mindset that things are just that....things, then it was easy to start throwing and giving away things. After the purging....then comes the organizing of what is left. This is where Pinterest came in and here is what I learned and did:

* Buy clear shoebox size containers with lids. Our Dillons stores regularly have them 10 for $10 or the Dollar Tree has them. These boxes have a million and one uses. Because they are see through you can easily see what you are storing. I have used them for storing:
shoes
tools
craft supplies
spices
craft projects by the project
pictures
scrap booking supplies
misc. bills and papers
The list could go on and on and I am sure I have only just broken the ice on uses for them. I will always keep several around as I am always finding new ways to use them.

* Dollar Tree. Unlike Dollar General or some of the other places with "Dollar" in their name...Dollar Tree is actually the real deal and everything inside their walls is a dollar. One lady pinned 100 storage ideas that you can find at Dollar Tree. We have a Dollar Tree in the next town over but I simply never went in. After reading her pin which was attached to a blog...I decided I had to go in. They change out their merchandise frequently, but they really do have amazing things. I have bought tons of small baskets to organize drawers, bigger colorful baskets to hold toys and many other neat things that I simply didn't know Dollar Tree carried. Because of Dollar Tree...my house is a thousand times more organized and this is a very good thing.

* Under cabinet storage. My kitchen is 50 years old and 50 years ago...apparently people didn't have as much kitchen "stuff" as they do today. Storage has always been a pain...to the point that I have to have a designated pantry in another room. Pots and pans storage has always been a nightmare and I was about at my wits end with my kitchen. What didn't help is that I have always had a corner cabinet that was two tiered which was ackward at best. Then a year or so ago I had a pipe break behind the cabinet and it caused me to have to have the cabinet doors taken off and the shelf removed to repair the pipe. I never put the shelf back or the door on because it was my intention to put a lazy susan cabinet back there, but after all this time it had just become a huge space with no purpose. Then I saw a picture on Pinterest of almost the same cabinet configuration with all the pots and pans stored neatly underneath. They took a board and secured it the width of the longest part of the triangular space and then attached large hooks to the board. The pans with hook holes were hung and then the large stock pot type pans were arranged neatly on the floor of the cabinet. A large Dollar Tree container was also set inside the cabinet for lid storage. I knew this could work for me...and it did. I love it and instead of putting a cabinet door back on...I am making an easy access curtain which coordinates with my kitchen colors to go over the opening.

* Scarf and tie organization. Go to Dollar Tree and get shower curtain rings. Attach rings to the bottom of a hanger and then simply pull scarves or ties through the rings. They hang beautifully and take up no more space than any other piece of clothing in your closet.

* Purse hanging. Secure a slotted metal shelf holder to your wall. I did it in the back of my closet. The shelf holder I am referring to can be bought at Lowes fairly cheep. You usually use two with adjustable arms that jut out to hold a shelf. For my closet I put several adjustable arms into the slots of the holder and then hung my purses from it. Neat purses and neat closet.

CLEANING:

* Do you get those nasty mildew stains around your tub in the grout? Do you fight to get them out? Pinterest showed me the easiest way to get white grout with almost no work. Go to Sally's Beauty Supply and get the cotton that comes in long coils. It is usually used for perms. It costs about $3. Before you go to bed....take a small glass bowl of bleach and set it in your tub (this makes it easier not to get bleach on anything you don't want it on). Cut a coil of cotton that will fit the mildewed area. Saturate the cotton with the bleach and then lay it along the mildewed area. Mine happened to be the entire grout line around my tub. Now discard left over bleach and go to bed. By morning the cotton will be in the process of disintegrating. I took a small trash can and a paper towel and went around the grout line wiping off the cotton. My grout was bright white and according to the pinner that pinned this.....it will stay that way for months.

* Dirty grout on kitchen floor. My grout lines on my kitchen get horrible. No matter how I scrubbed they remained discolored. A pinner said to put baking soda in the grout line and then put white vinegar in a spray bottle and then spray the baking soda. It will immediately begin to bubble. Don't touch it until it is done bubbling, then take a small brush (got mine at Dollar Tree) and lightly scrub where the baking soda was. Afterwards....take a sponge and go over with warm water to remove any residue from the baking soda. The grout looks like new.

* Baking soda and vinegar: Speaking of this dynamic duo.....they have literally a thousand and one uses and in most cases work better than expensive cleaners. Have a clogged drain pour about half a small box of baking soda down the drain and then add add about a cup of white vinegar. It will begin to bubble. Leave it alone and let it do it's job. In about 30 minutes run hot water down the drain. It should be running clear.
Also use this duo on hard water stains in coffee pots.
Use it in the oven to clean burnt on messes. It works better than any oven cleaner.
Scour pots and pans with it. No need for SOS pads.
Soap scum on your tub.....let these two tackle it.
Again.....I know there are many more uses....and I intend to find them all. Best part....no chemical smells left from cleaners.

Well....these are just a few of the things I have tried and recommend whole heartedly and we didn't even get to the food. Sigh.....well more blog fodder for another day. I also plan on trying to make my own laundry soap and carpet cleaner. This should prove interesting...so stay tuned.

Have you tried something on Pinterest and want to share? I would love to hear about it. Also....is there something you want to know about on Pinterest but don't want to try yourself until you have an opinion behind it. Let me know and I will see if I can be your guinea pig.

So hear is hoping you have a wonderful Saturday and don't forget to come back tomorrow for Catholicism Through My Eyes. I guarantee it will be an interesting topic!

No One Ever Said Life Was Fair

If you are a reader of my blog....you will know that often I will refer to the wisdom of my late mother. If only I had understood how wise she was when it counted, but alas....... She instilled many things in my head over the years; some religious, some political, some practical and some were just common sense about life and the world around us. One thing I heard from  the time I was old enough to have temper tantrums when life didn't go my way was......"No one ever said life was fair!" It didn't matter if I was in a fight with a friend, got in trouble and couldn't do something I really wanted to or got dumped by a guy. Instead of allowing me to wallow in the "unfairness" of it all, she would throw out the "No one ever said life was fair," line and then ask me if I was going to sit around and feel sorry for myself. Often for awhile....I did. It is hard to understand why difficult or bad things happen. The fact is....life is often unfair and there is absolutely nothing we can do about it other than throw a tantrum and then a pity party. When those achieve nothing....then we pick ourselves up and move forward.

All of this was going through my head this morning as I was having a very frank conversation with God. Yes....there was a lot of begging, pleading, a few tears and a whole lot of "this isn't fair," going on. Money issues often bring me to my knees and yes....I was right! It was not fair and there have been a lot of unfair things in my life, but if I truly look at the checks and balances of it all....there has been as much good, happy and totally miraculous in my life that may even tip the scale in my favor a bit. Then I began to think of others I know...of others who even this week have been dealing with so much. Their lives aren't fair either.....but they also move forward and many of them completely bypass the whole tantrum and pity party, which leads me to another one of my mothers pearls of wisdom. "Look around. No matter how bad you think you have it...there is always someone who has it worse." Sadly....this is true.

This week I have watched a mother who gave her child up in an open adoption....suffer because the adoptive parents suddenly closed it. I can't imagine that pain. To give such a precious gift to someone with an understanding of an open door....only to have that door slammed in your face, now THAT is not fair. How about having a family member who bleeds you dry both emotionally and physically because they feel like their bad choices robbed them of happiness and now somehow you are suppose to pay for that. I have a dear friend going through just that thing. It is not fair but sometimes family has a hold on us like no other people in our life. It isn't fair....but sometimes that is just how it is. Then there are those who are suffering the loss of a family member or friend and those suffering with illness. Sick kids, out of work, not enough money....we all have issues to deal with. None of it is fair and yet at some point....we all get a great big helping of unfair piled on our plates. It is simply life. None of us gets out alive and none of us gets out without the pain of unfairness.

I want to say that I am strong enough to pick myself up and move forward once again....but truth is, the older you get....the more times life seems to throw those unfair curve balls and sometimes it is not all that easy to pick up and move forward. I suppose this is where our faith comes into play. We have to look at past history and realize that no matter what we have had to face.....we have survived! Sometimes our survival has resulted in strength and sometimes all we are left with are battle scars,  but always we have survived. I have survived!  I suppose I will again and I know that after I finish with both my tantrum and my pity party I will as always realize that there is simply nothing left to do but pick myself up and move on. I tell myself that things could be worse and I have a great deal to be grateful for. It is very true, but some days even that doesn't help the moment you are currently living in. Guess it is all part of being faulty humans.

You know....it is funny, just this week....two of my friends have commented on my strength. One told me that she does not understand how things no matter how bad.....simply never get me down. I had to laugh at this very kind but truly distorted picture they have of me. The truth is....things do get me down...alot! I am not superwoman. I cannot leap huge problems in a single bound, nor can I hide my fear, frustration and sometimes sheer grief as well as I used to. So for today...or at least for the next hour or so....there will likely be a little tantruming going on and a whole lot of pity party.....and then once again, I will do my best.....to pick myself up and once again.....move on.

Communication in a Techy World

So Tuesday I went to the doctor because I really thought I simply had not fully gotten over the flu that started way back in December. After all....I have fought congestion forever and my stomach has never been the same. On Monday they did a sonogram of my stomach and Tuesday I went in for the results. Instead of seeing the doctor right off, a D.O. (doctor of osteopathy) and a student came into talk to me. I immediately disliked the D.O. right off the bat. He was young and had that air of knowing it all and somehow being on just a slightly higher plain than the rest of us. I've known too many like him. At any rate....he asked me numerous questions never adverting his eyes from mine. I locked his gaze and answered each as he asked it. Each answer was met with a smirk from the D.O. I was getting irritated but refused to show it as I was wanting the final answer on what was going on with me. Apparently though Dr. D.O. wanted to continue smirking at my answers as if he didn't quite believe what I was saying. Finally....after I had answered what I was hoping was his last question...he looked at me and said (again with the direct gaze and smirk), "So how attached to your gallbladder are you?" It was obvious he thought himself quite amusing. Without missing a beat I replied, "No more attached than I was to my tonsils, my appendix or my uterus. Why?" It was fun to watch the smirk fade from his lips and his eyes avert mine while trying to think of something to say. Yeah...I am evil at times. What can I say? That's just how I roll. And yes.....I do have gallstones and as of next Monday....just like my tonsils, appendix and uterus.....my gallbladder will no longer be residing in my body.

When you can see someones face when you are speaking with them....like in the case of Dr D.O., you can often read their expression and know the context of what lies behind their words or conversation. In fact...in most people unless someone has their poker face honed down to an art...you can know context with expression with just a look. That is the beauty of face to face conversation.

The other day I was watching Z as he was talking to me and obviously carrying on a texting conversation with someone else. His fingers never stopped as he answered the perfunctory "yes", "no" and "I don't know" to the questions I asked. Then I asked him if he did that at school. He wasn't sure what "that" I was talking about. Why texting of course. He let me know that yes, in some classes it was okay to text.....and I am sure that even in the classes that it is not okay.....they do it anyway. It was the equivalent of my generation writing notes....and yet nothing at all like it.

All of this got me to thinking about this new generation of texters, facebookers and tweeters. What has happened to the art of conversation? Perhaps my brain is more in tune to this right now because I gave fb up for Lent. The first few days.....although I didn't post anything....I confess I still read a few posts to make sure that I wasn't missing something. After that though.....fb and the computer (other than blogging) has almost become non-existent to me. I have also noticed that I have talked on the phone more in the last couple of weeks than I have in years....and you know what????? I like it!!!

It seems to me...and I know what I am about to say is not an original thought....that we are losing our ability to communicate face to face. We are relying on technology for communication without ever even seeing the person we communicate with. Granted....most people we text we hopefully see semi-regularly, but lets face it.....in this high tech world....how many people do we fb, tweet and email every week that we have never laid eyes on? Facebook has fooled us into believing that if someone is on our "friends" list....that they are then in fact our friends. The fact is.....when we first start talking to them....they are not our friends. They are acquaintances and many of them we are likely never going to meet. Yes....there is a an upside to this. I have met some truly wonderful people on fb that even though we have never laid eyes on each other.....I consider them amazing friends. However...most that are not personal and local friends are just people that may have my same political beliefs, have a child with special needs or they are friends of friends who thought we ought to be friends. Likely I will never have a face to face conversation with any of them.

Also the downside to all of this fb, tweeting and emailing is that unless we are communicating for business...there is every possibility that at some point, something that we say is going to be taken out of context or misinterpreted because the people A) don't know us and B) can't read our expressions through fb or email. It is very easy to have even the most innocent of posts be taken completely out of context and thus cause hurt feelings or the loss of a "friend." There have been times that I start to post something meaning it as funny or maybe slightly sarcastic but not hurtful....but when I go back and reread it.....I feel the need to put some kind of a smiley face or and (lol) at the end, so as not to be misread. Lets face it...if you can't see someones face then it is often hard to tell if a sentence is accusatory or a simple question.

In so many ways....communicating through technology has caused us to lose not only the art of conversation but also the art of communicating properly through the written word. As I said about Z.....he would much rather text than carry on an actual face to face conversation. With me as his mother though....he has no choice at times....therefore when forced, he can communicate quite eloquently. Other kids his age though....not so much. I fear many are so drawn into the world of technology that making actual verbal sentences are almost impossible for them. I have tried on occasion to talk with this new generation and if they can't answer with a yes, no or shrug they are completely out of their element. It is really sad and I can't imagine how trying this all is for Speech and Interpersonal Communication teachers.

As for communicating through the written word....a teacher friend of mine said that she feels like pulling her hair out at times. She will actually have students turn in papers with abbreviations such as lol on them and be full of abbreviated sentences. She basically believes that all of this technology is actually dumbing down and stunting the intellectual growth of kids where it counts.....COMMUNICATION! If you can't communicate properly then how do you apply for jobs, professionally contact others through business or function in society? I know on fb sometimes I will see even young adults make a post and it is nearly unreadable as the grammar is all but non-existent and it is full of abbreviations and four letter words (and that is another subject you don't even want to get me started on.) I just cringe when I see this. And if they post like this....can you even imagine them trying to write a letter?

Yeah....I know! Letter writing was thrown out in the 90's with roladexes and big hair and I find this truly sad....because I really liked all three of those things.  As a kid....I honed my writing skills on letter writing. I also got quite a bit of practice at school writing notes. Yes....I got caught on numerous occasions, but you know what??? When the teacher inevitably read my note allowed to bring on the desired humiliation factor of getting caught......he/she could read every sentence perfectly. Today I doubt a teacher would even try. It would likely cause them more embarrassment trying to read what passes for the English language now a days than it would the offender.

I know that social media along with technology in general has its place in today's world and I know that there are even benefits to fb and twitter. That being said though....after my hiatus from fb and technology in general, I have to say that I really don't miss it that much. I have enjoyed my conversations on the phone with friends. I quite like cornering Z and making him actually converse with me....and I thoroughly enjoyed seeing the look on Dr. D.O.'s face as I verbally punched the cockiness right out of him. It just goes to show that sometimes the old ways still have their place and who knows....they might even find their way back into main stream society. Well a girl can dream can't she?

Catholicism Through My Eyes: The Saints

It has been a crazy busy week and I just realized that I haven't blogged since last Sunday. WOW! Another WOW was the reaction to last weeks blog both in the comments and through email and in person. Perhaps I put a different perspective on the subject for some and for the most part....people told me that after reading the blog, they seemed to have a clearer understanding of how Catholics viewed pedophilia and priests. All in all....I think I am satisfied that I did the subject justice.

It was requested that I take on another hot button topic this week, but instead I decided to go a different route and discuss a subject that often causes a rift between Catholics and Protestants greatly in part, due to a lack of understanding on the subject. Fear not though...I will likely tackle the hot button topic next week. We'll see how things go and what frame of mind I am in. ;)

Okay....so today I am going to talk about saints. Saints are a very important part of the Catholic church and an important part of my own life. Knowing that you have a saint praying with you can get you through some pretty bad times. Saints are also a very misunderstood part of the church for many on the outside looking in. Growing up in a Catholic home....especially with my Catholic mom....we learned about saints at very young age and in my family.....some of those poor saints haven't had a moments rest in years.

So just what or who is a saint and what do they mean to the Catholic church?According to my good friend Wiki.....the general term for Saint is "one who has been recognized for having an exceptional degree of holiness, sanctity, and virtue." To be viewed as a saint by the Roman Catholic church one must have all the above, be a baptized Catholic and have verified miracles attributed to them. I think this is where many outside the faith become lost, so let me clear up a few things before continuing. A saint is not looked on as God's equal nor are they worshiped in any manor. A saint cannot be a living person...but actions such as a healing that happened during their life can be investigated and after their death be part of the documentation that can lead to their eventual sainthood.

Contrary to popular belief not all saints started out good and virtuous. Some came to their holiness and sanctity through tough roads and hard life lessons. Others though...they began and ended life with obvious virtue and a holiness not only spiritually but also visible to all whom they came in contact with. One important thing that all saints do have in common....is an extreme willingness to accept God's will without question and an absolute understanding that this life is only a prelude to the next where their greatest desire is to spend eternity with God. Because of this...they are willing to pray, sacrifice, suffer and even die for the greater glory of God.

Saints come from all walks of life; from the very poorest to the richest and everything in between. Many ended up turning their back on all worldly and material possessions and  choosing religious vocations as priests and nuns. Others lived their lives as mothers and fathers, friends and neighbors giving themselves wholey to God and His will. Some died very young and some lived to be quite elderly. Some died as martyrs and others died after living long lives of prayer, devotion and sacrifice. In the end though...all marked for sainthood were God's special ones whom He used to help spread His word and show the world that through God......all things are possible. 

To become a saint....not only has their life been one of holiness, virtue and sanctity, but two "miracles" have to be documented and proven beyond any question. The final decision is made by church officials in the Vatican after much study. In the process of sainthood the individual in the third stage of investigation is declared by the Vatican to be Blessed. Only after all documentation has been presented and all other possibilities of what might have occurred other than the supposed miracle are exhausted by doctors and scientists....then and only then can the individual be declared a saint.  

What exactly is a miracle? Anyone who believes in miracles knows that they happen all the time and are unexplainable incidents that happen often times.....after much prayer. However, a Vatican approved miracle is an undeniable and documented act (often a healing without medical explanation) that has no other explanation(including scientific) except the fact that God is working through an individual to bring about the act. Often miracles have happened after a saints death when a piece of their clothing, hair or a personal possession of theirs (these are called relics) is touched. By touching a relic of a saint....there have been many documented cures of diseases, blindness and even deathbed recoveries. A relic though is not necessary, for often simply asking for prayers of intercession from the saint can also bring on miracles.

This brings me to prayers for saints. A huge misconception of those outside the faith is that Catholics worship saints as gods, because we pray to them asking for miracles. This is simply not the case. We NEVER worship saints. We do however ask a saint or saints to pray with us! Saints don't just quit working for God after they die. They offer themselves to God in life and in death. Just as they prayed for those in need while on earth....they continue to pray for them in heaven and the fact that God still works through these special souls even after death is evident in the miracles He allows. Yes...I said He allows, for nothing happens through these humble individuals that God did not make possible. And as for Catholics viewing saints as God's contemporaries.....we know that these saints humbled themselves in life viewing themselves as God's servants. Even those who had miracles attributed to them in life always made it known that they themselves did nothing....that God was responsible for the miracle. ALWAYS GOD! They were merely the human vessel He used to make the miracle happen.

Possibly because these individuals worked so hard for God in life...this is the reason that there have been many documented cases of some saints maintaining an incorruptible body even after the soul is gone. In the book The Incorruptibles by Joan Carroll Cruz, there are many stories as well as pictures of the bodies of saints who after years and sometimes even centuries their human bodies remain incorrupt or undecayed without the assist of embalming. This my friends is a miracle all on its own and again....another reminder that God is in control.

So what do saints mean to the Catholic Church? Saints are people just like you and I....and they never quit trying. They had their sites set on heaven and gave themselves over to God body, mind and soul. These holy souls are the teachers and role models of the church. They have shown us true love, devotion and humility for God. They have given of themselves in every way possible and have brought about conversions and brought many closer to God with their undying faith and purity of heart. It is for these reasons that when we receive the sacrament of Confirmation (remember the Seven Sacraments I talked about a while back?) which makes us official soldiers of Christ....that we choose a saints name as our religious name. Mine is St. Bernadette. They become our special saint and for most become the saint whose intercession is called upon the most.

What many don't realize is that each saint had a special purpose in life and in death they continued to be associated with certain things. Examples of this are St. Anthony who is the finder of lost articles, St. Jude who is known as the Saint of the Impossible and St. Joseph who is the saint of workers. As a kid...if I ever lost anything (and I was always losing something) St. Anthony was my go-to guy. Mom always told me to ask St. Anthony to help me look and it never failed.....I would always find it and usually in a place I had already looked. As an adult....St. Anthony and I are best buds as after 50 years....I still lose everything I touch and he still spends many a day helping me find it all. I have also called upon St. Joseph for prayers when I needed a job and no job could be found. And finally....I am almost positive that St. Jude runs for cover every time life throws one of those impossible situations at me....because he knows he will be hearing from me sooner rather than later. I was explaining all of this to someone once and they said..."you talk about them (the saints) as if they were friends." It made me smile because really I had never thought about it like that before, but the reality is....spiritually....they are my friends and I am blessed to have such friends to turn to and to pray with me.


The saints are a rich part of our church history and even in our modern times....our lives are still being touched by saints and saints are still being canonized. One who is very close to my heart is St. Pio who died in 1968 and was canonized in 2002. What a holy man who spiritually never left my side while my son was in the NICU. Another who is well on her way to sainthood is Mother Teresa who died in 1997. In 2003 she was beatified (she became Blessed Teresa) and there is every belief that the woman who lived a life of poverty, holiness, compassion for others and great virtue will soon be proven a saint in the Roman Catholic church. Finally....one of my favorite candidates is Father Emil Kapaun. Father Kapaun who died in1951 has been declared a Servant of God by the Roman Catholic church (the first step of sainthood) and the miraculous recovery of a young man named Chase Kear who happens to be from Father Kapauns home state of Kansas(a favorite state of mine too might I add) is being investigated.Yes...Father Kapaun holds a special place in my heart and he too hears from me quite often.

So as you see....saints are not viewed by Catholics as god's to be worshiped. The reality is that they are servants of God who devoted their lives to His will and they are viewed as role models in their grace and sanctity. They are our friends in prayer and ones that God chose to work miracles through...not by their power....but by His.

Okay....so what do saints mean to me? They give me hope. By the very existence of saints I am made aware that God will never give up on me and ever so often He chooses someone very special to remind us that He is here, He is listening and that miracles really do exist. They give me comfort knowing that when I pray.....I never pray alone....I always pray with a friend. Finally.....they give me strength, for if a poor girl from Lourdes could overcome the ridicule and doubt of others, could dig a spring responsible for hundreds of thousands of miracles and humbly serve God through excruciating pain....then whatever God has planned for me...I shall gratefully accept. As St. Bernadette quoted our Lord: "I do not promise you happiness in this world, but in the next."

So perhaps now there is a little better understanding of saints and how Catholics view them. I hope by now many of you who have had preconceived ideas about Catholicism and how we believe..... are starting to see that our religion is one of great love and faith to Our Lord. We have many beautiful traditions in the Mass and in our prayers. We are blessed with role models hand picked by God and we have learned that life often requires that we stand on faith alone...and yet we are never alone. There are so many reasons I love my faith and writing this Sunday blog continues to remind me just what a lucky girl I am to be a part of a such a beautiful faith. So I will end this blog with my favorite quote...one you have likely seen me use before if you have read my other blogs. "For those who believe...no explanation is necessary. For those who do not....no explanation is possible."