Sigh...it is still cold and this kind of weather puts me in hibernation mode, but alas I must fight it. Today....although pretty chilly, getting up was much easier as Z beat us all out of bed. It was about 5:30 a.m. when I heard the pitter patter of his size 10's on my downstairs floor. Yes....he was singing too. If his eyes are open.....he is singing. So why the early and cheery start? Today Z turns 16!!!! It is simply amazing to me. Time just goes so fast. It seems just like yesterday Tim and I were in the ER waiting for the doctor to say it was C-section time.
The October before Z was born, Tim had been at work and had pulled a huge box by its packing strips. Instead of the box moving....the strap broke and Tim lost his balance causing his ankle to twist and snap. After two surgeries Tim was still on crutches in January. It was cold and I had been having pre labor with Z since late October. Twice they had given me drugs to stop labor and we had made it to January. January 19th though.....I started having pretty heavy contractions. The weather was being fairly unpredictable at the time and with Tim not getting around so easy, we decided we better head on in to the hospital. Twenty four hours later....the doctor finally decided the contractions were not going to stop and probably a c-section was in order. So at 1:30 p.m. January 20, 1996, Z made his first appearance. He had a head full of white hair and brilliant blue eyes. His lungs were obviously perfectly formed as he screamed for dear life. The first words Tim said were, "Honey....he has your nose and with those lungs....he's gonna be a singer." Sixteen years later....he still has my nose and he certainly does sing.
Z always just amazed me growing up. He had endless energy and he divided his time equally between being a mama's boy and a daddy's boy. First thing in the morning....he wanted Daddy. They had an early morning ritual of diaper change and Z sitting on Daddy''s lap while he drank his coffee. They would sing together and laugh together and I would respect their time. After Daddy left for work though....Z immediately became Mama's boy. He would crawl up on the couch with me and watch Blues Clues or Barney and we would sing the songs and dance to the music. We both got the best of Z.
As a little guy he was fun. He had energy to burn and never stopped during the day unless forced to by a nap or bedtime. When Tim worked second shift and came home around 11:30 p.m. often Z would sneak out of bed and greet his Daddy. This was met with a snack and some more one on one time with Tim. They had such a strong bond and Tim always said that Z was making him the man he had always wanted to be.
When Tim died, maybe it was only fitting that Z was the one there with him. He was only five at the time but that day definitely was pivital in jump starting his path to manhood. He had almost an acceptance of the fact that it was his place to be with his father in his last minutes and honestly has never questioned "why me!"
Since those days Z has grown to be an exceptional young man. He is his little brothers hero and he has returned that with a love for David that is quite heartening. Z has never treated David as special needs....but he has given him a big brother that all little boys would dream of. Z has a very kind heart and with this sort of heart comes the ability to have it broken. People tend to see kindness as weakness therefore they will often try to see just how much that heart can take. Z's heart has been hurt many times but never has he been broken. His kindness has brought about an amazing strength and his life experiences have given him an insight and empathy into and for others that few his age have!
I stand back and watch as my beautiful little boy quickly is turning into a handsome and wonderful young man. I can't tell you how proud I am of him. Someone told me the other day...."you did a great job with him." Somehow I don't think that credit goes to me.
So today....I am a proud mama. I am also mentally preparing myself for the next phase of the teen years. He now no longer just has to drive to school and work and now will come parties, girl friends and for me staying awake until I hear him come in and biting my tongue when I am being too over protective. Perhaps now would be a good time for me to take up drinking! lol
Well....today I wish Z a very Happy Birthday! May this be your best one so far and may life hold for you many wonderful surprises from this day forward. I love you my Z!