Sunday, January 15, 2012

The New Chapter

I won't lie....this last week was really tough. It was also in its own way....amazing. It was a week mixed with heart felt sadness and pure unadulterated joy. To put it in terms one outside my own personal body might understand...... it was like being on a VERY wild roller coaster ride. You know....the ones that turn you upside down and make you feel as if you are in mid air without support and you really aren't sure you are going to survive so you pray all the way. Yep....that was my week.

If you read my other blog, you already know most of what went on. If you didn't or don't let me give you the abridged version. I found a breast lump the first of the week, had to wait until the end of the week to have it checked out. I ended up in the ER mid week because of horrid back and side pain. Watched a fb friend suffer as she lost the love of her life way too young. Had to worry about the "c" word while inundated with stories of it wrecking peoples lives, all the while  fearing what a bad diagnosis would do to my children and how it might affect David's chances of going to Shriner's Hospital this month. Out of everything bad though comes good and my week though precarious was not without many blessings.

I had started Weight Watchers the 1st of January. So far....this is the first time in years that I have been on WW and stayed exactly within my points. Even through the stress of waiting and worrying.....I never faltered. For me....that was huge. I also had plenty of time to soul search and come to some very private and yet very real realizations about myself. Between my "conversations" with God and my conversations with myself, I made some mental and emotional decisions. I also had my prayers answered in no small part I am sure, due to the fact that I had many prayers much more worthy than my own going out. I also am sure I had a few heaven insider prayers going up as I have some very special guardian angels up there. Friday about 9:30 a.m. my girls were given a clean bill of health and I felt all the stress and worry just leave my body. As things go kids have "me" to look forward to for many years ahead and David's St. Louis trip is still a go!!!!! And once is as normal as it gets in Lisaland.

Since I have kind of let blogging go to a hit or miss status.....I really haven't been on much to discuss this new year or what my plans are. For those of you sitting on the edge of your seat wondering,  my new years plan is really simple....I have no plans. The only scheduled plan I have is to get David to Shriners....after that.....I plan on living my life day by day and on occasions, it will probably be hour by hour or even minute by minute. Perhaps I have decided that me trying to make plans gets in the way of what God has planned. I am pretty sure His plan for me is far better than any plan I could have for myself.

Along with all of the hulabaloo of last week, my beautiful step-daughter celebrated her birthday Friday and this next Friday, Z will hit his landmark 16th birthday. It doesn't quite seem possible he could be such a grown up young man, but he and I ended this last week with a wonderful conversation last night. It was one of those where you actually start out doing one thing, but then you get to taking and three hours later everything else has gone by the wayside except for your conversation. I learned a lot about Z last night and saw maturity in him that I hadn't seen before. We talked about morality and his views of things and lessons he has learned in the last year.  I was really surprised at the eyes in which he sees the world. He is an amazing young man and I am very proud of who he is. It was truly a wonderful time stopping conversation for the two of us. I hope to have more conversations like that in the future.

So we are approaching a new week and we are smack dab in the middle of the first month of the year. The possibilities are endless as the road is wide open. I feel like after this last week, I have relinquished all control.....especially due to the fact that as much as I would like to think differently.....I never really had any control and also.....I have absolutely no idea where this road leads or where I am going. This new chapter that I am beginning is a blank one, but as things happen I am sure it will be filled with wonderful adventures and a great many highs and lows. Fear not though........because whenever possible....... I will be right here....... ready take you all along for the ride.

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