Friday, January 18, 2013

Foul Mouthed, Mean Spirited and Slutty....Oh My!

Yesterday....Z came home with a very familiar story from school. He had suffered a rather bad day due to a bunch of junior and senior girls from his high school who decided that they were mad at Z because he had tried to defuse a situation. Rather than show enough maturity to realize what Z was doing....these young "ladies" and trust me....I use the term loosely, chose to act like classless little witches and spend the day following Z around calling him an effing douche, an effing ass and some other choice names. According to Z...he and others are used to this kind of behavior from many of the little darlings that attend his school. Every day they find a new target for their insults and bad attitudes and if they run out of outsiders to unleash on....then they turn on each other. They are relentless.

I couldn't help but explode in a facebook (fb) rant asking the important questions like "how" and "why"? How do these girls get away with this and why isn't the school paying closer attention? Is this how these girls are brought up? Is this what they see at home between their parents? Is this how they themselves are talked to? No answers, and saddly...this is not Z's first go around with these girls who have mouths that would even make a sailor blush. He knew all too well that making any act of retaliation be it verbal or otherwise would end him up in the office and likely suspended and whats more...they would continue on with their verbal sewage becoming more vicious because of the retaliation. Just another day in high school paradise.

Welcome to the young women of the new millennium. I have been watching many of these young girls since they were in kindergarten. Most of them didn't start out acting entitled, hateful and looking like they just stepped off a working street corner. Quite the contrary. They were cute, fresh faced and innocent. I would pick my kids up from school and year after year watch these little ladies come out of could see the metamorphosis. They went from sweet little things just waiting for mom, dad or the bus to pick them loud, obnoxious, foul mouthed little bullies. Yes....bullies. Now.....I am not talking about all of them.....but enough that I found it rather alarming. I also noticed as these girls were growing and maturing that they were putting their sexuality on display far sooner than they should have even known how to. Young girls barely out of grade school were walking around with an entire make up counter slathered on their face. Tight pants, heels and form fitting shirts were becoming more prevalent and these tweens were walking out of school like the world revolved around them. You could seem them openly laughing at and making fun of other girls who chose a less mature wardrobe or who weren't model perfect and yes....there were times that these gaggle of legends in their own minds would literally gang up and get physically abusive with both girls and boys. It was obvious that someone had let these girls think that they were the only ones that mattered in the school, town and possibly even world.

High school then unleashed these already self proclaimed and highly hormonal diva's on an unsuspecting world. I am no prude, but never have I seen a bigger bunch of foul mouthed bullies than I have seen since Z hit 9th grade. They will verbally and physically abuse other girls whom they don't know, don't like and I suspicion.....find a reason to be jealous of and they gang up like an angry mob on the boys too. The catch is....if someone turns the tables on them and gives them a taste of their own medicine.....they break all land speed records running to the nearest administrative staff they can find, tearing up and telling the story of how they were so horribly mistreated. Guess who ends up serving detention or suspension? You guessed it! Not the dear little princess who started it all.

Having spent my vast mothering years with boys and one young girl who had too much class to act like that, imagine my surprise when I was introduced to this world of devious, hormonal females. When I was growing matter how mean the girl....they still showed a little class because if they didn't...their parents would get involved and NO ONE wanted that. It was an era that if the school called because you did something wrong....then you were in more trouble at home than you ever thought of being in at school. Girls didn't cuss out teachers, use the eff word as both noun and verb in every sentence and if they did decide they didn't like were usually just shunned until they got mad at someone else. Yes...there were girls who were promiscuous....but they were not usually known so much for the way they dressed....but more by reputation. It was a very different time.

In all fairness is not just here in my little town. I was watching something on a talk show about young women who dress like....yes....sluts. They call themselves and their girl friends sluts, ho's and bitches and talk like they are on a three day fur low from the Navy and yet somehow they are both surprised and angry when they are treated as such. Really????? Did their parents not tell them that if you don't respect yourself...then how do you expect others to? One girl said that no matter how she talked, dressed or referred to herself or others...she should always be treated with the utmost respect. Again with the REALLY????? Was this another life lesson that they missed out on? You are not owed respect....on the contrary you earn it? These girls literally felt that they should be able to wear a shirt that was just one good sneeze away from a wardrobe malfunction and skirts so short that you could see their dental work and still be looked on as ladies. It just boggled my mind. I guarantee you that number one....if a girl is dressed like that, no straight boy is thinking...."My isn't she a lady. Can't wait for Mom to meet her!" And...if one of my sons was hit on the head, temporarily lost their mind and brought a girl dressed like that home to meet me.....the young lady would be offered either a full length bath robe to cover that which her clothes lack the material to cover or she would be ask to leave and not come around looking like that again. Embarrassing for my boys? Likely...but then my boys even on their worst day are too smart to put themselves in that position.....I hope! The point is....these girls don't realize that looking like a slut is NOT sexy. Sexy is leaving something to the imagination. Looking like a slut does not. It screams "I'm easy. I have no self worth and I will likely sleep with just about anyone!" And yet these girls are offended when treated that way. eyes in fact did just roll!

And it isn't just how young girls and women dress these days. It is also about their attitude and how they act. Nothing brings this home more than the reality show Bridezilla's. One day when nothing else was on....I watched it for the first time. I will admit that after the first episode I was drawn in...but not for any high level of entertainment it brought to the table. Far from it. I was drawn in because I could not in my wildest dreams imagine anyone acting like this bride-to-be did. The girl was hateful, demanding and degrading to both her parents who were footing the bill for her wedding and her soon to be husband. Hate and insults spewed from her as if it was as natural as breathing. What was worse was those she verbally and once or twice even physically abused....just went along with it. Was this just staged? Maybe....but did it matter? What this show was showing young girls who were already too self entitled and self absorbed that acting like a complete witch and disrespecting and insulting everyone in your hemisphere was not only perfectly okay....but if you played your cards might also end up on tv. What's the end, all your bad behavior will be forgiven because after are the bride. Horse pucky!

I will admit that I continued to watch after the first episode (it was a marathon), because I thought surely it would get better. I was wrong. Each new bride would bring her own brand of nastiness and childish behavior to the show. Some would belittle and abuse their groom as if he was little more than gum on the bottom of her shoe. Others would treat wedding planners, florists and event coordinators as if somehow they owed these brides perfection at little or no cost. With each additional episode I began to fear for my tv as the urge to want to reach in and slap these selfish and self centered prima donnas grew stronger and stronger. Finally after the fourth or fifth episode and seeing these young brides showing no class, no charm and in most cases very little literacy.....I had to turn it off. Yep....that is just what every mother wants to raise....a freaking Bridezilla!

So I ask, where have we gone wrong as a society? When did we start teaching our girls that they couldn't be beautiful unless their features were hidden under foundation and eyeliner? When did the memo come down that dressing in a way that shows both your girls and your goods is sexy, and that a sentence is not a sentence unless the f word is in it? Surely most mom's don't instill in their daughters that they are sluts, their friends are sluts and somehow by referring to yourself and others as sluts that it is both cute and endearing. Yet....if we watch the school yard or the tv....this is what we see.

Yes...I know your are dealing with boys so really....what do you care? The fact is, I care a lot. It is really difficult to watch a pretty young girl, who you know could have the world at her feet...treat others as if they were dirt, to see her dress like she is waiting for her pimp and treat herself as if she is nothing more than an object to be used. It is a recipe for a future of unhappiness and insecurity because her self worth is based on all the wrong things. She hasn't been taught that she is worth respect and when you show respect you get it in return. She will forever be jealous of those traits in other women and thus try to make others feel as insecure as she does. It really makes me sad. It also worries me that one of those creatures might set their sights on one of my sons. You know the old saying...."Nothing will destroy a good man faster than a bad woman!" Every mothers nightmare.

So there you have it. A pure unadulterated rant on foul mouthed, mean spirited, slutty dressing, self disrespecting girls and women. Sorry but I just couldn't help it. can look at the bright side. Not one word of this blog was political....and for that I am sure we are all extremely grateful! ;)


Anonymous said...

Wow what an interesting blog. I like it!

Anonymous said...

I have seen the same thing in our town. It is sad. I think I really loved this blog.

J'nelle said...

Awesome blog!

Anonymous said...

It's frightening where we are going as a society. As simple as it seems in having the schools police the behavior of these girls, its not the fix.

The problem starts at home and radiates from there. We've broken down the home and sadly there aren't enough active dads in the home to say, "no you're not going to act that way, and you're not going out dressed like that!"

I certainly don't have all the answers as a dad. But my daughter that has left the nest still brings by young men interested in her to meet me. And I make it clear that they are to respect her and protect her as I would when they are around her. Failure to abide by this simply rule brings me front and center into their lives. And I bark like a drill SGT and I demand satisfaction from anyone who crosses the line.

The result is my daughter knows that she is loved, respected and protected. And she's tough too. But she also knows that dad has her back. And so does any young man in her life. And it also comes down to expectations. We no longer do that as a society. Everyone is looking for instant gratification. Even if it comes at the expense of someone else.

It is a sad truth about who we are as a nation and as a society.

South Carolina Suzie said...

As a mother of three girls I too love this blog. My girls have been teased and bullied time and again because they are completely covered when they dress for school, wear little to no make-up and get extra chores on those rare occasions when a damn or hell come out of their mouths. My girls are not perfect but they have been brought up to treat others with respect and to respect themselves. They know that they are precious to their dad and I and that they should always view themselves as precious. Seeing what goes on in the world today and seeing so many young women running wild and ultimately ending up morally, physically and spiritually lost and bankrupt is tragic. I am so glad you wrote this blog and I hope those that need to find this blog and read it. You can be sure that I will be passing it along.

Anonymous said...

I think what you don't seem to understand is that some girls do feel sexier in short skirts and tight tops. So why should they be looked on as slutty if this makes them feel pretty. I think the problem is people putting themselves in the place of judge and jury and feeling they have the right to judge a person by the length of her skirt.

Anonymous said...

I don't believe this blog was about judgement and more an observation on young women in society today. I think the blog was dead on and from the looks of the comments I am not alone. Great blog and keep up the good work.

Anonymous said...

You put into words what I have been thinking for awhile. I have two daughter in laws whom I love dearly who both have daughters whom I love dearly. Sadly, both of those girls seem to be heading in attitude much the way you describe girls in this blog. I cringe at some of the things they say to others and I think their mothers just might benefit from reading this blog. I will definitely be passing it along.

Michael Sestak said...

"It is a recipe for a future of unhappiness and insecurity because her self-worth is based on all the wrong things."

Absolutely true. I have known many in the corporate world who are just as selfish and mean-spirited as they were in high-school. Their lives are filled with drama and divorce. The "Bridezillas" of which you speak end their lives in anger and misery.

It's a cultural problem. There is no cure. Our only hope is to protect our own families as best we can.