So we survived the Harry Potter midnight movie. Z was home by 3ish and today I am toast. I am sure he will be too. I discovered last night whilst laying awake waiting for him that after midnight....there is nothing worth watching on TV. Not even on the 5 billion cable channels I have. Unless you are in the market for a Magic Bullet, a George Foreman Grill or want to learn how to get in shape with P90X (perhaps I should have watched this one), then you are pretty much out of options. I have seen every episode of The Nanny and That 70's Show and short of staring at local radar (which by the way was blank), TV viewing was a bust. This then forced me to be alone with my thoughts. Lisa and undivided attention to her thoughts are never a good idea.....even when she is not exhausted.
I started wondering just what kind of mother I really am. You can scarcely turn on the news anymore without hearing about a horrid accident that some teenager was in, or hearing about a teenage abduction, suicide or murder. It makes you wonder.....where were their mothers? Was there mom at home waiting for them to return from a midnight movie fighting sleep deprivation and making them text their every move or was their mom asleep...assuming all was perfectly fine....until she got the call/knock on her door/found the body? I know it sounds awful.....but this is very real in our world. I wrestle constantly with how much leeway is too much leeway? I want to know who Z is with, where he is at and when I can expect him home? Curfews are mandatory in my house and if they are broken.....there better be an excuse that is better than "oops....I lost track of the time!" I have no unrealistic ideals that Z will never get into trouble, after all....I have already seen his work. I know all about peer pressure, drugs, alcohol and those kids that appear "cool" but have jail sentence written all over their forehead. I already raised one of those and I want Z to steer as far clear of all of that as possible. I also know that sometimes pushing too hard one direction can cause them to automatically head in another. This tight rope of motherhood just to get a kid safely raised and out the door can really suck! That and I always thought I would be the "cool" mom. Little did I know that ship would sail the minute my idea of what was safe for them and their idea of what was safe for them started differing. I haven't been cool for years.
So we have jumped ahead a bit and Z seems to be rolling with the punches and doing fine on just a couple hours of sleep. I on the other hand have dozed in my coffee several times already, there is drool on my desk and I have been asked to keep my snoring to manageable levels. Apparently the customers were complaining. Oh the joys of being young and being able to go for days on just a few hours sleep. I miss those days....sort of. Okay....I miss the energy of those days, not so much the antics. Back then my energy level was huge and I was like the Energizer Bunny. Now a days....my energy level is non-existent and although still like EB....I am just like him....without the batteries. Thank goodness this is Friday. Although this weekend will be non-stop "fun", I do hope to at least throw in a couple of hours of uninterrupted, unstressed sleep. It should be pure bliss!
Since I am starting to mumble and misspell and mistype, I guess now is as good a time as any to move onto the 30 Day Song Challenge. Day 15: A song that describes you. Since I couldn't find any songs about sleep deprivation...I had to go with choice number 2. I have always loved this song....mostly because the words remind me of me. I guess today's was really a no brainer and those of you who know me well....I am sure will agree. Here is Matchbox Twenty and Unwell.
I had to put that it made me laugh because...well it did!!! It reminds me of all the nights I sat up. There were only a couple with Shannon (but wow what doozies those were) compared to Phillip. I too was that mom of "Call me when you get there", "Call me if you leave there", "Who is going to be there". all the questions. BUT I have seen the other side too.....these kids that never got the questions and they too seemed sad in some way. They wanted to know they were cared about. I beleieve that our kids KNOW they are cared about. Oh at some times they didnt like how we were but what the hell.....we had them....we can do what we want!!!! Good job Momma!!!!
I had to put that it made me laugh because...well it did!!! It reminds me of all the nights I sat up. There were only a couple with Shannon (but wow what doozies those were) compared to Phillip. I too was that mom of "Call me when you get there", "Call me if you leave there", "Who is going to be there". all the questions. BUT I have seen the other side too.....these kids that never got the questions and they too seemed sad in some way. They wanted to know they were cared about. I beleieve that our kids KNOW they are cared about. Oh at some times they didnt like how we were but what the hell.....we had them....we can do what we want!!!! Good job Momma!!!!
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