They Call Me.....Wishy Washy

I am in a weird place right now with all that is going on in the world and close to home. Things seem to affect me more at this place I am in life than they ever have before. It is hard coming to terms with the fact that as a control freak....there are simply things in this life that we mere mortals....even me....have no control over. Things that have never before bothered me, I find mess with my emotions and not just some emotions...but all of them. No....I am not bi-polar or manic. I am simply at a place in life where I no longer ignore or deny things because they might be unpleasant or they might offend someone else. I still don't deliberately set out to offend anyone and I think that even my greatest antagonists would have to agree that I go out of my way to say what I have to say without belittling or insulting anyone personally. That being said....my opinion has at times not won me friends (in fact it has lost me a few) and has even caused some to resort to name calling both to my face and behind my back. I have also been attacked for allowing others to post on my blog an opinion that is not conservative. I guess it matters not that on my blog the First Amendment is still alive and well and just as I express my opinion....other and differing opinions are also welcome and in fact encouraged. Nowhere have I ever stated that if you don't agree with me that you are banished from my blog or even my life. Agreeing with me is not a requirement to ensure my friendship.

A little fact about my opinions. I rarely have an opinion that I blog about...that I don't first research. I hate to say something that I can't go back and back up if necessary. Another fact is...sometimes people are so set in "their own" opinions that all the facts in the world won't change their mind. It is the way of the world today. Belief and nonfactual opinion seem to trump fact over and over again. Go figure.

I have also heard several times of late that some feel that I am "wishy washy" in my opinions and beliefs. This doesn't just come from readers who don't know me except for my blog....it also has come from those that do know me and should think better of me. I hate the term wishy washy as it basically means you can't pick a definite side on anything. Come on people....I think you all know what a load of bunk that is. I rarely back slide on my beliefs because I do research them. However....I am not so firmly wedged into the ground that if I do learn something that I didn't know before and it has an affect on my stance...then I will admit I was wrong and move forward. Many don't agree with this. Many feel that you should hold your ground until that ground covers you and suffocates you....right or wrong. I believe this is called being narrow minded. Another pretty unflattering term and yet a term that seems to cover many people on both sides of the coin.

This all came to a head when I was writing a lot of both political and religious blogs. I was being cheered on from the side lines by those who felt I was on the same page as they were. And lets face it, most of you know that I am irritatingly conservative both politically and religiously. (Irritating that is to those with a more liberal sensibility). However...the funny thing about picking "a side" is that no side EVER in the history of man....has been completely right. On the other hand....no side is completely wrong either. Why? Because humans are involved. Human ego and human desire always comes into play. When we try to convince the world we are all right, then we must demonize the other side as all wrong....that is where narrow minds rear their ugly heads. There suddenly becomes no room for mid ground, compromise or shades of gray......and let me tell you.....everything has shades of gray. As I said other than God and satan/Heaven and hell, nothing else in this world is all good or all bad. If life were that cut and dry then there would be no need for extenuating circumstances or jury's. People would not be capable of change and life would be either good or bad and you would know definitely which side you fell on.

So when I stepped outside what some conservatives felt was my conservative box and stepped into a subject that they viewed as both politically and religiously liberal.....not to mention....reprehensible....I was given a verbal beat down by several AND suddenly I was told by more than one, that I had become someone that these people simply didn't know! I was now labeled as wishy washy and one even called me brain washed. Another person told me to my face that I was neither a Catholic nor a conservative because of the way I believed. Sorry folks....I am both. I am also a human being who realizes that God makes us all and that in doing so....He makes no mistakes. Again....my research went into both my blog and my opinion....but that made no difference....I was wrong in a lot of eyes. On the upside....I was also thanked by some politically and religiously conservative people who like me, were beginning to see the gray area of the subject. No....I had not turned on my beliefs. I had simply acknowledged that there was more to the story. Sadly...it lost me friends and apparently respect from some. But then again....are those the friends and the respect I wanted if it is so easily lost over a respectful difference of opinion?

I was cut down again on facebook over a kind word about the president. On most days....I find it difficult to find even a civil word to say about the man, but I do try to look for the good in everyone. And whether it was just a show or if it was a true act of good.....Obama did something I thought deserved a word of praise. It wasn't even a big word...just an acknowledgement that even he could do something good. After all....he is a human and he can't be all bad all the time. My acknowledgement of this singular act though, was as if I had changed political sides and suddenly was trying to convert the masses. I was called out on facebook by several who really didn't surprise me. I was prepared.  They saw his act as a show and me as being deluded for falling for it. C'est la vi. I knew that there would be those who disagreed, but honestly I didn't realize it would be to such an extent over such a small thing and if I had it to do over......I would probably do the exact same thing! The fact is.....it didn't matter to me whether it was a show or not...the end result was that something that should have been done long ago was finally done....and he happened to be the one to do it. Kudos...for whatever the reason! It was however....the behind the scenes attacks that got me. From friends no less. People brave enough to attack me through email....but not brave enough to do it so that all of fb could see. It was really the first time that this kind of stuff got to me. I have been called a lot of rude names and been insulted by a lot of rude people. Heck...I have had people write blogs about me and rip me limb from limb. You expect that in the world of political and religious debate, but you don't expect it from friends and you don't expect it over something as mundane as a kind word. It showed me then and there what a crazed and emotional society we are becoming. Facts mean nothing. Kindness is only acceptable if given to those certain people......certain other people find acceptable. It is okay to strike out and ridicule any opinion or belief that is not your own and if God forbid you have a difference of opinion....you better be wearing your thick undies that day.

Where did our compassion and kindness go people? Who said that regardless of which side of the fence you are on that a comedian like Lizz Winstead can make a cruel joke about conservatives being targeted in the Moore, OK tornado? Who said we can't pray for the president and give him the tiniest of compliments when we think we see a glimpse of his humanity? How does kindness and compassion towards other human beings both born (regardless of race, creed, color or sexual orientation) and unborn somehow make me wishy washy and somehow less respectable on both sides of the fence? How does it make me less conservative and less Catholic because I want to see the goodness in people? Isn't that what we as humans (conservative or liberal) and as Christians (regardless of denomination) are suppose to do? People are quick to spout bible verses but what about "judge not" and "love your neighbor." I don't think restrictions were put on either of those.

So I guess if I am viewed as wishy washy. So be it. Obviously those who have labeled me as such will not let the actual facts get in the way of their opinion. So go ahead and bring on the names, the insults and call me out. I can take it. Like my mom always used to say......"if they are picking on you...they are leaving someone else alone." However....just remember that with age comes less and less filter and we all know I didn't have a whole lot to begin with. Someday you might just get to see the unfiltered me in all my glory....and trust me....wishy washy won't be what you will calling me then.