Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Fighting For A Friend

It is hard for me to imagine being on this "life" journey, coming to a dead end and not fighting to go over, under or around it. Fighting is all I have ever known and while it can be exhausting at times, it can also be rewarding, exhilarating and amazing.

There have been several times in my life when I was told that there was no way around the inevitable and I refused to believe that things were just that cut and dry. I would fight any way I could to change what seemed like the ultimate outcome and several times my faith in God and my faith in faith seemed to be a life changer. My youngest sons life is proof of this faith and my refusal to believe that his life was only going to be a few short weeks. Thirteen years later after many prayers, lots of refusal to accept what some seemed to feel was inevitable, his strength of spirit and he is still here happy and healthy. Yes there are obstacles. There will always be obstacles but we never gave up and we have gone up, over and around the road blocks time and time again. I guess that is just how we roll!

Trust me though, I didn't just wake up one morning thinking that this is how I would live me life. No...I come from a long line of people who refused to give up or give into life's little inevitabilities. Through faith and sheer strength of will I have watched people survive illness, change the course of their futures and ultimately defy man made odds. I know it is possible and I can't imagine not fighting with every last breath in me to achieve these things. So I guess I am left dumbfounded when others don't/won't/can't do the same.

No...I am not making a judgment call here as every situation and every person is/are unique and I have no idea without walking in someone elses shoes what their journey is like. However, I do know if I know nothing else, that every second of life is precious. Even in the worst situations we have moments in which we can touch other lives even if we are in pain, in a wheelchair, on a walker or lying in a bed. And when a situation maybe life altering but not life ending, I can't imagine giving up.

I have a friend whose mother is in this situation. She has a life altering illness but not definitely life ending. At least not at this point in the game. She could maybe have some really good years left if she fights, cooperates and gives it her all, but she is shutting down. Maybe she is tired. Maybe she doesn't have a fighting spirit or maybe she doesn't realize the finality of some of her recent choices. Whatever the case, her decisions are leaving my friend feeling helpless because she can't make her mother fight. It seems to be two steps forward on some days and eight steps back on others. Perhaps her mother doesn't realize just how much she is loved and what her presence means in the life of her kids, grand kids and friends. Maybe she doesn't know that by fighting for her life, it would be teaching her family lessons about strength and love that will long outlive her.....even if she lives another 30 years. And perhaps she doesn't realize how much she has yet to experience, enjoy and give.....not only to her family but also to herself. 

Life is a gift. When lived well (not perfect mind you) but lived with gusto through the ups, the downs, the mistakes and is a love letter to God in thanksgiving for the journey. But when lived in fear, without fight and given up is almost like thumbing your nose at God and disrespecting what others would literally give anything for.

I know this lady is strong. After all she has raised an amazingly beautiful and strong daughter. A daughter who is not ready to let go and watch her mother give up. A daughter who still both needs and wants her mother for a good many years to come. I just wish there were words that could unlock this lady's fear and light a fire of hope under her. So I pray. When in doubt.....I always pray. I pray for renewed faith and hope in her. I pray for her to have both the desire and the strength to not only fight this battle, but for her to come out victorious and healthy in the end. I pray that whether she needs to go over, under or around that she can find her way, and finally.....I pray for her kids and her grand kids and all of us who love her because without her smile, her laugh and her presence.....this world would be a much sadder place! So please dear Mary.....fight....and I too will fight for you. I love you!


MarniJ said...


Anonymous said...

Whoever Mary is, I hope she knows how loved she is and that she continues to fight. Beautiful!