Me Time

So here I sit. It is the first time in quite some time that I have had some "me" time. The house is quiet except for the tinkle of the wind chimes sounding in the breeze through the open windows. It is peaceful and has given me time to collect my thoughts enough to be able to sit down and write this blog.

Since last I blogged (a couple of weeks ago) we went from winter (temps in the 40's) to summer (temps in the 90's). To be fair, we did have about two days of spring (70 degree weather), but I think it is safe to say that "summer is upon us."

I have had lots of questions about David, so let me start there. I am having "me time" today because today was David's first day back at school since surgery. He is going half days to see where his stamina is, but last Monday at his post surgery doctors visit, Dr. Hollenbeck released him to start school this week.

David has once again proven to be a miracle. This surgery which everyone dreaded and in which the surgery and recovery time were very daunting on paper, has turned out to be much easier than any surgery he has had to date. What's more, his doctor and his PT are thrilled at the speed of his recovery and the unexpected progress he has made so far.

David was off pain meds before he even left the hospital and after a talk with the doctor while he was still in the hospital, my confidence in taking care of him was boosted 1000%. Of course there have been those moments where I have been on the verge of a mommy melt-down trying to figure out how to do something where he is concerned and being terrified that I was going to break him, but after a few slow deep breaths and a lot of prayer, the answer always comes and we move forward. So..... you can imagine how surreal it was for me to send him off to school today. This was not something that I thought would happen this school year. Once again....David took the ceiling that the doctors expected and shoved it completely out of the way, in order to reach his own heights.

Truthfully though, in the big scheme of things, he is still taking baby steps in his recovery and will not be given full okay to go back to as much of his pre-surgery life as possible until after June 4th when we see the doctor again. Still though, he is weight bearing, walking some and moving forward every day. Yes, I think this all qualifies as a miracle.

Now onto the situation I have been getting lots of questions about recently.....How are things with the house going? 

I know I have been rather quiet about it all of late and there are reasons for this. The biggest one of course has been that my focus has been on David, his recuperation and his rehab. That has been a 24 hour a day venture and I have had little time to think about anything else.

There has also been the issue that my lawyer has told me to keep $$ amounts quiet and every time the subject is brought up, there are those that want to know exact amounts, which I can't give. I really am sorry about this but I feel as if this situation has been a community effort and I really don't want it to seem as if I am holding anything back. In the end though....all will be revealed. ;)

And it seems likely that there will not be anymore fundraisers as there have been some others with great need come to the for front in our community and the focus is on them.....as it should be. Time, money and resources are going to these families and my attention has been put on helping them too in any small way I can.

Today though, I will fill you all in a bit on our current situation and where I am at personally with it all.

We are now 3.5 months in on this house situation and quite frankly, I am just as confused today as I was February 3, 2018. I have no definitive answers on what is really behind this situation. The only thing I know for sure is that if I don't raise $78,000 David and I lose this house and all we know. The good news is.....we are close. I have had faith since day one that it would happen, even before our first fundraiser..... and I haven't lost that faith for a second along the way. However, I have been hit with a lot of sadness during this time, and each time I learn something new that doesn't mesh with the original story told to me, that draws questions and makes me feel like there might be deception behind the reason for us losing our home. I hope I am wrong, but this nagging feeling is at times unbearable. I spend a lot of time praying that I can keep my focus where it needs to be and that I don't fall into the negative space of anger. Knowing the reality behind it all might make it easier to forgive and move forward, but if I have learned nothing else in this journey it is that even family is fallible and sometimes we simply have to forgive a situation even when we don't have all the answers.

That being said and forgiveness aside, I am wiser and unfortunately, those particular ties maybe irreparably damaged. I really would like to believe that they truly feel bad that David and I were left in this situation, but sadly, nothing I have seen or heard indicates that.

So enough with the negativity. The bottom line is that "it is what it is." I can do nothing but deal with the situation as I know it and move forward and that is what I am doing. Through it all though, I have learned so much about the people in my world, myself and the kindness and generosity of others. I have seen love, kindness, strength and a community of family, friends and strangers come together through prayer, action and financial help for my son and myself. It has been truly amazing. I have been humbled beyond belief and it has set my sights for the future in a whole new direction.

Today, in my quiet solitude....I have come to realize that more so than ever in my life, I am beginning to know myself. I am seeing new and amazing strength in both myself and in David and most of all, I am beyond grateful for the lessons I have been given these last few months and for the grace I have been given in order to get through it all. David and I are blessed beyond words and without a doubt I know......we will Save David's Home.

If you would like to know more about Save David's Home, here is the link to check out the facebook page and to read up on our reality. There is also a YouCaring page if you would like to donate.