Going Forward

 I don't know what it is about this time of year, but my head always gets so full of thoughts that I feel I  "need" to immortalize them all in the written word. This year is no different. 

This has been a crazy unprecedented year of firsts (and hopefully lasts) as well as just downright insanity from all directions, and I have run the gambit of emotions from abject sadness, to anger, to amusement, with a whole lot of gratefulness thrown in. 

It has also been a year of exhaustion. So much change and craziness have brought on both a mental and physical exhaustion that most of us have likely never seen or felt before. Because my brain allows me to do nothing less, I have taken to this blog several times over the year, expressing my opinion, marveling at the world (not always in a good way), and dumping my emotionally pent up baggage on anyone who cares to read this. But then again, isn't that what blogs are for? 

I have also been both chastised and praised for my words. Neither was a goal. In fact, the only goal was to unload the words, feelings, and emotions that seem to fill my brain and twist my soul until I let them flood out. They haven't all been pleasant and at times, even writing them made me feel as if I was going crazy from the craziness that was surrounding me and causing me to feel the need to write them. 

So what does this all mean? I guess it means that writing is my passion, my therapy, my way to communicate when no one is listening, and my way of sharing who I am as a human being. You know....the whole, this is me...love me or hate me thing. 

Some things have been changing in my life of late, and it has really got me thinking and I decided to get serious about things a couple of weeks ago, so I started wondering what is the one thing not family-related that I couldn't live without? Only one thing came to mind.......my WRITING! If you take it away from me, you will likely not like what is left of me. It has been my enduring passion since my 6th-grade teacher Mrs. Kohl had me write and complete my first story. Oh, there had been many unfinished "masterpieces" prior to that, but Mrs. Kohl for some reason had the knack for making me want to write better and from then on, it became like breathing to me.

Even now, no matter what I am doing, I am usually creating a blog piece or story in my head. Whether I am going to sleep at night, driving in the car, out walking, or just working around the house, you can bet that there is some story going on in my head. Tragically, because I don't prioritize well, many of those stories never make it from the creating part to the actual computer page, and then get lost in the dark recesses of my rapidly aging brain. Oh alas, the creativity the world has missed. 

Of late though, I have been writing a lot of different things. Some are very personal, some not so much. Some are stories of my growing up, some are stories of my mom growing up, and some are stories that I just create, usually starting with a what-if scenario. None have made it to the blogosphere so far, but I am thinking I might change that. 

I am tired of writing about the world right now because words alone will not change much that is going on and unfortunately, words are about all I have. Instead, I think I am going to branch out a bit and write some stories, both fact and fiction and maybe write less about the world beyond my house and more about what goes on in my house. Trust me, we are a treasure trove of stories and craziness all on our own. 

Mostly what is going to change in the upcoming months, is that I am going to give myself some time and space to create. I love my life and all that it includes, but I need to find my way back to me again (a journey I try to take every decade or so). Right now, that means letting my creativity flow all the way to the computer and possibly even sharing it with you all. I also have some other creative things I am pursuing, but that is for another day and another blog. 

So going forward, you may be seeing more of me here and I may be asking you to chime in on my content or to even give me ideas for blog pieces. I am never above digging in and doing a little research to learn something new and write about it. Right now though, I am getting my feet wet again and finding my way back into going from point A to point Z without stalling out somewhere in the middle. 

If you like what you see, feel free to comment and if there is a topic you would like to see me cover (please no politics right now....I am politiced out) then let me know and I will try to include it in one of my blog pieces. For now, though, I wish you all a very happy Christmas/Holiday Season and hope you all stay healthy and happy as we finish up this crazy crazy year.