Something(s) Positive

Let's be honest. The last year or so has been a sh!t storm of epic proportions. It wasn't just politics, or riots, or police, or criminals or COVID. It was actually all of it wrapped so tightly together that we didn't have a chance to breathe or get our bearings. Things got so bad at times, that we would continue to look for the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel, only to find that each light proved to be just another train, ready to run us down and turn us inside out. In fact, I think quite honestly, even the most positive people in this world had trouble seeing past all the negative and finding even the tiniest grains of positivity, but it was there. In fact, it was here right in my little town, and that is what I am focusing on today. 

I know some of you are popping your anti-anxiety pills, putting on your masks and covering your heads waiting for the other shoe to drop reading this and wondering what positivity I can possibly be referring to as gas prices are rising, unemployment is off the charts and COVID is still knocking at our doors, but trust me, it is there and has been all along. 

Last year, at just about this time, I went for a walk in my community. I was frustrated at the time, as Spring Break had turned into a homeschooling nightmare (for me anyway), and by this time, everyone in my house had been doing their part to flatten the curve for a couple of months. We were literally ready to kill each other as we couldn't walk into another room without tripping over something or someone. The 24/7 togetherness was starting to take its toll. I needed some alone time and some positive reinforcement, and walks in my town of Mulvane, KS, usually gave me both. As always, my little community did not disappoint. 

I honestly think that it was on this day, that I can pinpoint the turnaround in my attitude. Until then, I had been so inundated with basic math that was stumping me and a very social, special needs young man who was feeling anything but social or special, seeing only my face day after day. I was turning into a very unpleasant person. 

The news media and social media were even further driving my and everyone else's mood into the ground as they were effectively playing  Chicken Little 24 hours a day. Well, fine! If the sky was falling, then I was going to be outside when it happened. So I was off to enjoy my little piece of the world that always seemed to give me a sense of peace and belonging, even in the worst of times. 

As I began my walk, I expected to see bare streets and a bit of desolation as this is pretty much what the news media told us was expected of us and to be expected outside our locked down homes. Amazingly though, as I walked through the neighborhoods, I started seeing some really positive things. I saw parents were sitting together on front porches, watching their kids play in the yard, and as I walked by, they would smile and yell, "Hello!" People were also out working in their yards and flower beds. Again as I walked by, they would look up and nod a greeting. These little acts of friendliness and socialization, actually made my heart soar a bit. People had their windows open and you could catch wafts of dinner smells coming through screens and sounds of families talking, cooking, and interacting. It was actually comforting, if not surprising, to say the least.

Toys filled front yards and bikes lay across lawn after lawn. You could smell the delicious smell of hamburgers cooking on the grill and all over you could hear kids laughing and playing. Amazingly too, I was not the only one who seemed to be needing some exercise and some outdoor scenery. I passed literally dozens of people out doing just what I was doing. There were parents and kids out walking, couples out walking, people out walking their dogs, and several, who like me, were alone and seemed to be enjoying just a little "me" time. 

In the moment, it dawned on me, that I was seeing a lot of smiles. In front of me, were parents interacting with their kids, and kids who had put down the game controllers and traded them in for bikes, basketballs, and soccer balls. It was then, that I remembered one of my mom's favorite sayings, Something good comes out of everything bad. Perhaps what I was witnessing was the good. Truly, that walk changed my outlook on the world and the negativity that I had been feeling. In some ways, it was a permanent change that went straight into my heart and still remains with me to this day.  

I think that with all the fear, stress, and frustration we had all been feeling all the past months, among the weeds, some flowers were starting to bloom. Families were starting to do things together because many parents were working from home. Meals were eaten together as a family and family game nights were becoming a thing again. Most importantly, it appeared that parents were becoming more in tune with their kids. It was almost like we had chosen to leave a bit of the technological world behind and step back into a world where life was just a bit sweeter and a whole lot simpler.

People were also getting in touch with their creative side as graduations, weddings and parties, were either canceled or put on hold. Parents were finding ways to celebrate their kid's big days whether it was in their driveway with a few close family members and recording it for the rest of the world to see, or whether it was doing drive-by caravans with signs, whistles, and music. It was so out of the norm and unconventional that it was a hit and many kids were asking for similar celebrations even post COVID. Now that is saying something!!!!

Also, in my part of the world and possibly in others too, dragging main streets or popular streets used to be a religion for teens every Friday and Saturday night. It was something we looked forward to and it was simple and fun. Well, my town and many other towns like it,  brought it back. It was something that could be done while we followed the rules, social distanced, and had some much-needed fun, at the same time. Yes, we actually found a way to be out in the open and socialize and still social distance. It was great! It was amazing and it gave the younger generations a peek into what their parents and grandparents called "fun" back in the old days. 

As for me, I decided to start trying some new and different things in the kitchen. Through the help of YouTube, I learned to bake a pretty decent cookie (something I had always failed at before) as well as trying my hand at a little Asian and German cooking. I also became a pretty prolific bread and cinnamon roll baker. This explains a lot about my newfound need for the gym.  

While I was doing all of this, others had put their long days of flattening the curve through lockdown, into gardening and because people had so much time on their hands, 2020 seemed to be a pretty spectacular year for tomatoes, cucumbers, and other assorted veggies. Unfortunately for them but fortunately for me, many of these gardeners found themselves with a surplus of this healthy and mostly green stuff. Thus, I was blessed to be gifted with mounds of it, so what did I do? I canned all summer and I truly began enjoying it. We as a family were also able to spend a lot of time in the pool and yard and the kids spent almost every waking moment outside. All in all, we had probably the best summer we had had in years. 

Funny, when the CDC or authority figures tell us we can't or shouldn't do something, how it just makes it all that much more enticing. I took notice that kids seemed to put their video games and computers away and instead opted for bikes and skates and yes, they even found neighborhood friends to play baseball, kickball, and other almost forgotten outdoor activities with. I mean after all....they were outside! Even some pools were open (not our community pool, but others were) and many kids found a little normalcy spending time doing what kids have done in the summer for generations. I guess we were making lemonade out of the lemons of a tough situation.

Looking back on the last year, yes, there was a lot of negativity and in some ways, the world that we knew pre-COVID, has changed forever. The last 15 months has altered not only how we work and play, but also how we do business and even go to school. It has affected jobs, livelihoods, education, and even family dynamics. Some of this change may prove to be permanent, while other things have slowly started finding their way back to what seems a bit more normal.

Viewing this all from a place of positivity, perhaps parents being able to work from home isn't such a bad thing as in many cases it has brought families closer and made parents more aware of their kids' actions and interactions. Also, parents having a birdseye view of who their kids are as students and what our teachers face on the daily is definitely an eye-opening, if not always a positive thing. I am sure by now, few parents are saying "My kid would never." Now they are likely realizing that not only would their kid do it but in some cases, their kid would be organizing it. Yeah, teachers don't get paid enough. 

We also have gotten to have a front-row seat for the very worst in people, but also we got to see the very best in people too. We have been given a unique opportunity to understand what a gift front-line workers are to our communities and we have been able to see kindness grow from the most unexpected places. We have also learned that regardless of what the CDC or government tells us, that there is no such thing as a non-essential worker and that without all workers, businesses tend to fold up, crumble and become non-existent. We are ALL essential. 

So whether it was learning something new, spending more time with our families, or just having the vantage point of seeing the world through a different lens, COVID was not all bad. It appears to be one of those really sucky life lessons that we never wanted, but we really needed, in order to open our eyes about the world around us and the people in it. 

Since that walk on that one warm spring afternoon in my little town, I have been much less angry and much more understanding that the one thing that affected us all (COVID), did not affect us all in the same way.  Whether we chose to mask up, hunker down, and take our cues from the CDC or whether we chose to handle it in a different way, at the end of the day, it has changed us all. Let us hope that going forward, we take the lessons learned (whether universally or individually)and continue to make positive changes both in our lives and in our own piece of the world, because....."No event or situation is ever so bad if you learn something from it." Yes, another momism. Your welcome. 

So until next time, stay healthy, stay active, and most of all.....work to make your piece of the world a better place. 

COVID....Moving Forward and Leaving Behind

 

It is hard to believe that it has been a year since the great toilet paper shortage of  2020. It has also been almost a year since the country began shutting everything down and made masks the new accessory that goes with absolutely nothing. 

No, I am not going to be talking about whether to wear a mask or not nor am I going to talk about the politics of COVID, the misinformation, or even about what it has done to the economy. That is all in the past. What I am going to talk about though, is the here and now and what our world looks like going forward. 

One of the areas in this country that COVID and COVID precautions have done a number on are our schools. Schools across the country have shut down and gone to mostly online classes and kids have suffered. They have lost true socialization, they have felt confined and many have quit school because, with so many working parents, many high school kids have not had the daily motivation to keep going. Aside from that though, having no school has been hard on the mental health of kids. Kids were not designed to be on lockdown, as they are social beings. Without the social interaction and the ability to have time away from home and family, this causes big emotions in the already hormonal kids that can have side effects such as self-harm and even suicide. We are creating situations that we might not be able to step back from. 

In my town last year, we quarantined like everyone else and after spring break, our kids finished the year online. This school year, our school board did their best to stay within the state guidelines and to also give parents a choice of how they felt comfortable with their kids learning. Kids could either do a hybrid schedule, where kids went to school half the day and did online school the other half, or they could do full-time online. Most parents have been satisfied with the choice. Of late, though, with the new state guidelines and things beginning to open up a bit, many hybrid parents have been pressing to fully opening up the schools again. They don't care if the kids have to wear masks and wash their hands 100 times a day, they feel their kids need full-time school, and quite frankly, so do the parents. So, our school district has now offered a new option for the last nine weeks. Kids can go full days or online. The hybrid option is basically no longer on the table. Many parents are jumping at this. Of course, though, there are those parents who are NOT happy with the all-day option as they still feel, it is too soon and the heated "discussions" have begun. 

So this brings me to the point of this blog. What is next?

My biggest concern when all of the COVID stuff started was, the fear I saw. Suddenly people became immensely afraid and many would not leave their homes. Those that did could be seen wearing at least one mask everywhere they went and some wore two. Some even wore full-on medical respirators and these people were not satisfied just wearing a mask themselves. They vehemently insisted that EVERYONE wear one too. This caused numerous online and in-person battles and showed the worst sides of people in general. Fear never brings out the best in people and a good percent of the population was scared right down to their skivvies. People were legitimately scared of dying from COVID. 

I myself though, was a little put off because of the hypocrisy in the whole mask thing, as many of these terrified people, just a couple of weeks before the mask mandates began, were the same people in stores with hundreds of others, coughing, sneezing and buying up all the toilet paper. The only fear they had at that moment, was that they might not get 25 packages of Charmin. Then, the mandate came about, and suddenly they were too frozen with fear to step out their front door, and definitely not without a mask. 

Now here we are all these months later, and there are those who still seem too afraid to even think about letting their kids, back in school or God forbid, going without a mask. So I guess my question is, when will people find it truly safe to get back to normal? What will it take? Will it ever even happen?

Sadly, my guess is that there are those out there permanently scarred by the last year and their fear, now rules them. To walk out into the open without a mask is unthinkable and not unlike many in China, going forward there may be those who never go out without a mask again. It is sad, but that is a choice they are making and if it makes them comfortable, then who am I to say anything?

The problem is, there have always been germs out there and viruses that have the potential to kill indiscriminately. For years, the flu has taken hundreds of thousands of lives and still we ate in crowded restaurants, went to concerts and big events, shopped Black Friday, and gathered in churches and schools, running fevers, coughing on each other, and rubbing our germ-ridden bodies up against each other without nary a thought. We didn't expect others to wear a mask to protect our health, nor did we expect the government, restaurants, stores, or schools to protect our health. This was the world we lived in and going back to normal, likely means going back to some version of this. After this last year though, there are those, that I doubt will ever be able to handle going back to this. Their fear of getting sick will far outweigh their enjoyment of life or a return to normalcy. 

For others though, they may have complied with the health mandates when necessary, but every chance they got, they maintained as normal a life as possible. This meant tossing the mask when possible and going out whenever they could, wherever they could. Many of these people also contracted COVID, recovered, and went right back to life. These are the people that have been living for the moment when the mandates are over and they can go to a concert, sing in church and shop Black Friday like it's their job.

Now please don't think that I don't know that COVID is real and in many cases, it has been debilitating and even deadly. It has taken people's health and their lives. But even for those who have not gotten the virus, it has also taken a lot. It has made it so that those in nursing homes have not seen their families and some have died never getting to say goodbye. It has kept families apart and left many who have died, without funerals. It has closed down businesses and left people unemployed. It has left families homeless and allowed the spread of abuse, addiction, and suicide. And for many, COVID has taken security, peace of mind, and the ability to function in a world that 14 months ago had been our norm all of our lives.  

So what will our post-pandemic world look like? I can't speak for anyone else, but I know how it will look for me. Before COVID was ever a thing, I wore a mask when I was sick during flu season. I always washed my hands and used good hygiene and I used common sense when I was sick and stayed home. I also tried hard to avoid big crowds during heavy cold and flu times. I imagine that my future looks much the same. 

I guess I am different than most. I never feared COVID. I stayed in and quarantined during the times we were trying to "flatten the curve," and I wore a mask out and about, but if others didn't, I never paid much attention. That was their business. I did get COVID, even using precautions and although it wasn't great, I can honestly say I have been much sicker having the flu. Had it, God forbid, killed me though, my family would not have blamed non-mask wearers, the stores I went to nor anyone else. It would simply have been my time and COVID would have been the way. 

So I am sure, sooner rather than later, the mandates will slowly fall away and the majority of people will start digging for some small part of the norm they left behind. Others though will fight for their security and be very angry that others aren't doing the same. It will be a sticking point that likely won't soon go away. It will just be part of the mess that COVID leaves behind. 

For the Good

 My intentions were to have my semi-traditional end of the year blog post and then my (again) semi-traditional beginning of the New Year, blog post. As you can see though, we are eight days into the new year and so I am combining. I guess this makes sense though in the big scheme of things, since nothing in 2020 was traditional (semi or otherwise), and thus here you have it. 

If I am honest, 2020 was a year that made me feel a whole lot of emotions and actually changed me a great deal. In fact, this past year probably changed me more than any year I have ever lived through. Perhaps it made me realize that we are no longer strong resilient people like I know we once were. Instead, we seem to have become weaker. We are a country of people who would rather talk than act, would rather be safe than free, and who would rather be taken care of than stand on our own two feet and earn what we have by the sweat of our brow. 

No, I am not going to get political per se, but I can't ignore politics completely if, in fact, I want to honestly speak about this past year, as in many ways, politics were behind much of what made 2020 what it was. 

Not to rehash the last couple of decades, I will simply say that who we were as a country in 2001 and who we are now, is a night and day difference in everything from our patriotism to our core beliefs, to our morality. And while many of us who are older and blame it on the youth, we need to keep in mind that these newer generations hardly remember 9/11 and are so far removed from the threat of real war and the truths of communism that they can hardly be blamed for their beliefs and much of this is our faults. 

We rallied with patriotism after 9/11, because our parents and grandparents had fought in wars. They had been bomb-shelter babies, who knew the realities of losing their rights and their freedoms to those with dollar signs in their eyes and complete submissive rule over others in their hearts. Today's younger generations know none of this and because we sheltered them, they see the world much differently. If they really understood the dangers of the world, do you think they would put themselves or their future children in danger? Of course not, but they are young and as my mom always used to say, "youth is wasted on the young." They do not have the foresight to see what age and wisdom tend to bring. 

So 2020. It started with an attempted political coup and low and behold, 2021 started with the same, with sides reversed. Weird right? Last year also gave us a pandemic, a toilet paper and sanitizer shortage (and I still have no understanding of the toilet paper thing). Then we had the "14-day" lockdown, which was designed to help us get through "the worst" of the pandemic, which turned into months. People were out of work, out of money, and quickly growing out of patience. Kids were not allowed to finish the school year at school, so teachers, parents, and kids did their best to finish the year with as little issue as possible, but truthfully there was "a lot" of issue. 

We learned that the CDC could give hope and take hope all in the same newscast. Doctors and medical professionals could not agree on the best course of action to avoid the disease and people were panicking as worst-case scenarios were constantly barraging both social media and mainstream media. People became paranoid, fearful, and angry as we went into late spring and early summer.

Many milestones and events were either postponed or canceled altogether and graduations, funerals, and events both big and small had to either be changed or completely disregarded. People were working from home if they were working at all, and cabin fever was becoming something very real and very debilitating. People were starting to rebel as neighbors began to turn on each other and "tattle" to the police about gatherings or those that refused to wear masks. That's right! Who would have thought that "masks" would be the new accessory of 2020? 

If politics had not divided us enough at the end of 2019 going into 2020, then the maskers vs. non-maskers wedged itself into that divide even further and people were actually getting into fights in public over......you guessed it....masks. 

Then began the summer of BLM. Like many issues that start with good solid reasoning, when you get humans involved, the issue often takes a sharp turn onto a path that neither is positive nor productive. This was the resurgence of the BLM and their summer of destruction and rioting. It started with a need to look into police departments where racial injustice reared its ugly head. We all knew it was there and that in some areas it was a huge issue, but with our new world of CCTV and a cell phone in every hand, as well as a very high strung media, it was a recipe for disaster. 

People who had been trapped inside for months, who were already frustrated and angry, clung on to the movement like it was the air they breathed. Every city was rioting, destroying, and killing over the movement without a thought to the fact that many times they were destroying their own neighborhoods, businesses, and homes, nor that many of the faces on the front lines were white ANTIFA members whose agenda had nothing to do with black lives and everything to do with anarchy and destruction. Many lives were lost before people started to realize that maybe these riots and destruction were not so much about getting rid of bad cops and racial injustice and more about politics and agendas that really didn't even care about black lives. 

As fall rolled in, many schools refused to open back up full time and students were either left with online learning or a hybrid of both in school and online education. Kids that had been apart since spring break and who had been looking forward to returning to something that was normal were highly disappointed. So were parents and grandparents who ended up having to brush off math and science skills long ago forgotten in the cobwebs of their minds. Many a learning situation has been peppered with the tears of both the instructor and the instructed as both students and "their adults" have suffered through the 2020-2021 school year. 

The holidays this year were hardly festive for many. Between being out of work, having many normal festivities canceled and being limited on financial resources, limited on the ability to socialize (even with family), and the constant droning on of the media of worst-case scenarios.......suicides, domestic violence, and mental health issues sky-rocketed. Drug addiction and drug relapses have been at an all-time high and added to that, it was a presidential election year. None of us was in a good place by Thanksgiving. 

This was the worst election year in my memory. People were sure they were right about EVERYTHING and almost all civil conversation on the topic of just about anything became contentious. No one was listening, everyone was talking and very few had enough facts to even back up their opinions. We were a hateful, hate-filled people, who were turning on each other and constantly going out of our way to cause issue with each other because of how miserable we all were about EVERYTHING! Most of us couldn't wait for the date to change and for it to become 2021. Unfortunately, it takes more than a calendar date change, for a real change to happen and when you drag the baggage of 2020 into the New Year, you are likely not going to see a lot of change. We dragged it and we got exactly what anyone with an ounce of common sense would expect.......more of the same. 

So in bursts 2021, and suddenly those that had supported a coup in early 2020, were now condemning the current coup and all those involved and wondering why everyone can't just get behind the president-elect. Regardless of which side you are on, if you have been watching all this time, you have to understand the ridiculousness of the whole situation and the hypocrisy that oozes from every pore of the American people. Personally, I rolled my eyes so long and so hard, I was afraid they might stick that way. 

For me personally, 2020 was a year of great loss and great sadness, and none of it had to do with COVID. We also had COVID go through our house, and yes, we took normal precautions, wore masks, and washed our hands, but common sense told me that catching COVID was a possibility, just like catching the flu, and that nothing was 100%. I blamed no one (mask wearers or non-mask wearers) and was fully aware that if God chose my death to be by COVID, then I had very little say in the matter. Was it fun? No. Did we all survive? Yes. From the beginning though, I never really feared it. I refused to quit living over a possibility. I guess I would rather die while I am living free than die of fear. 

I can't say that 2020 was all bad. I learned a great deal about people and my relationships with them and I learned about what I will accept and won't accept or tolerate in my life. I found that while an amusing distraction while sitting in a doctor's office, Facebook for the most part is about as non-essential in my life as kale. Trust me, kale is very non-essential. I also found that there is no longer anything remotely ethical about the news media and rather than lose my mind listening to biased and altogether unfactual news reports, that if I want to know about something, I will research it myself and get as close to first-hand information as I can. I don't want to be told how to think. I choose to think for myself. 

I was told in 2020 that because I was a white woman, I was automatically racist. I was also told that I was entitled, for the same reason. On further thought, I realized that we are all a bit racist and prejudice regardless of color or ethnicity. Of course, there is a bias depending on where and how we grew up. It is natural and yes, there are people that take it to extremes in every race, but our differences are what makes us beautiful, unique, and interesting, and as a white woman, I have every right to be proud of who I am, without taking a thing away from any other race or culture. As far as entitlement goes, I feel each of us is entitled to get what we want from life, as long as we are willing to work hard, face obstacles head-on, and yes, fight for it. So if that makes me entitled, then so be it. 

I also learned this year, that to start something and set a goal, does not have to coincide with a calendar date. I started some really interesting things, way before the new year, and some even with a mid-week date. I realized that the date didn't matter. What mattered was that I started. No big goals, just small attainable projects, and so far, all are still in play and I am still succeeding. 

Finally, I learned that even though I am a fairly positive person, being inundated with negativity day in and day out is debilitating. I was beginning to be a hateful and hate-filled person and I really didn't like myself much. Once I stepped away from social media, the mainstream media, and quite a few people, I found myself to be happier, more joy-filled, more productive, and a lot less stressed. Sadly, a few people I love and have no issue with have also fallen into the abyss, since I have socially distanced myself from people (not for COVID reasons at all) but slowly, I will add them back in, if and when I feel social. 

I have taken this time to educate myself, learning to do new things and different projects. I have looked inside myself to see who I really am as a person and what I like and don't like about myself and I have learned to enjoy what I have and to realize that what I want and what I need are two completely different things. 

So there you have it. I have said good-bye to 2020 and hello to 2021 with no real expectations and no desire to make any changes that aren't healthy for me both mentally and physically and positive for my own little piece of the world. Maybe this year I will take up a hobby, take a new path, or find something else new and exciting about my own little world. Whatever happens though, I can pretty much say that 2020 changed me for good and quite possibly for the good, and in the end, that is all we can hope for in any year....right?