Schedules and Play Dates

So I was flipping through a magazine and I ran across an article on the importance of "play dates" in a childs life. I laughed! I didn't really find it funny....more I found it almost ridiculous and actually a little sad all at the same time. Play dates! Before the dawn of yuppies, two income homes and the scheduling of ourselves until we were quadruple booked....no one had ever heard of a play date. Who needed a "date" or schedule to play?  Kids simply played.

In today's world...like sports, dance and other extra curricular activities.....play dates (times a child has to play with his friends) must all be scheduled. Kids after school times and weekends are so full of stuff....that kids rarely get to be just kids and family time is spent eating a quick take out burger on the way to the next event. Neighborhoods are no longer havens for kids to play kick-the-can, kickball or tag until dark because the kids are too busy getting their young lives scheduled down to the second....and in my opinion....missing out on some pretty great moments of childhood. 

I remember as a kid during the school year, you walked home from school with your friends, dropped your books off and headed out to play in the neighborhood until supper. Then you ate, did your homework and went to bed. In the summer....you got out of bed, ate breakfast and then played in the neighborhood until your mom called you for lunch. No....not on a cellphone and not even on a land line telephone. My mom would stand out on the back porch and yell, "Liiiiiiisssssssaaaaaaa, time for lunch!" and that was my que to get home for lunch. All mom's did this. After lunch it was back out until I got the call for supper and then back out again until the street lights came on. Everyone had to be home by the time the street lights came on and by then we were usually so tired that we fell into bed. It was a good tired though. The tired of a child who has been a child all day long!

Much of what I learned about life I learned all those summers playing in the neighborhood. I learned how to not be so shy, after all there was a lot of knocking on doors and asking if  "so and so could come out and play." That was not for the faint of heart....especially if someones dad or older sibling were to answer the door. I learned how to share...sometimes an especially doting mom might toss us some popcicles and if there weren't enough to go round....you shared. I learned that some of the best games were not created by Milton Bradley or Parker Brothers. They came from necessity and great young imaginations. I learned how to take a soccer ball to the face and not shed a tear and I learned that walking barefoot in clover is never a smart idea. I learned that home is not just square footage with a roof. It can also be several blocks long and that family is not just those you live with...but can extend over into those you spend most of your summer days and adventures with. No...we had never heard of play dates. We simply played. We might get a game of kick ball going and play in whoevers yard was the largest or we would take refuge on a really hot day in someones sprinkler. We usually never went in anyone's house. If you had to go to the bathroom you ran home and if you were thirsty....you drank out of the nearest garden hose. We were dirty, sweaty little outside creatures....and even rain was no match for our childhood fun. When hit by the occasional  rainy day....we would simply find someones garage to play in or porch to play on. We would play board games, cards or a lot of times....make up games. We had amazing imaginations because we didn't watch a lot of tv, most of us liked to read and we had never heard of a video game. It was truly childhood in its rarest, purest form.


Life seemed to be so simple back in the late 60's and early 70's. Dad's worked outside the home, mom's usually worked in the home and kids were kids. Granted,  back then....neighborhoods were much safer...but even then,  mom's would periodically look out to check and see whose kids were in their yard. Mom's knew who should and shouldn't be there and if older kids or strange kids from elsewhere showed up....mom's were pretty good about sending them on their way. There were seldom fights or problems but if a kid got mad or a fight happened to break out amongst the regulars.....we were most often left to settle things for ourselves. Seldom did things ever get to the point that someone had to be sent home for the afternoon or that another parent needed called. We were all pretty peaceful and self-sufficient in our little neighborhood world. We needed nothing more than imagination and a ball to keep ourselves entertained and happy.

Comparing now to then.....my parents would never have thought to have enrolled me or my brother in activities like today's parents do. For one they didn't have the money to shell out and for another, my parents respectively worked very hard and the last thing they wanted to do 3-5 nights a week and on weekends was trek us all over the country to different activities and events. Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts were their limit and even they stretched it at times. As for weekends....Saturday's were work around the house and bbq days in the summertime and Sundays were church and family. There was no time for all the extra curricular stuff....and we neither missed it nor would we have known what to do with it if every hour of our free time had been scheduled. In fact....that was the beauty of summer. You were no longer tied to a schedule and you were free to be a child.

So a child needs play dates?! Quite possibly in today's world they do. Maybe we have over scheduled them to the point that if they weren't scheduled it would be too much free time for them. The lack of schedule might bring on a whole new set of problems. Also....neighborhoods are not what they used to be. There aren't a lot of non-working moms who are home to keep a silent eye on things and the dangers for kids roaming unsupervised are exponentially greater now than they were 40 years ago. Danger aside though.....in today's world of video games, computers and 500 channels on tv, most kids would be bored silly if their "free time" was nothing more than a soccer ball, a sprinkler and their own imagination. Truthfully....I believe kids of today would have no idea how to process or even enjoy a Wichita summer day in 1971. They would be both underwhelmed and under stimulated....not to mention extremely under scheduled. Still....I think these kids are really missing a lot and if I must place blame (and I guess I must)....I will put it on the parent who first decided that instead of just playing and acting like a kid.....kids needed schedules and play dates! Apparently I am not a fan.

The Fight

It has been an interesting week. A lot has happened and a lot of memories have come into play. Today I sit with a migraine....weather induced I am sure and I am trying to override it by pretending it doesn't exist. It will probably win out over all, but I am not going down without a fight. Without a fight! Is there any other way to deal with life than to fight your way through it? This has been a recurring theme in my thoughts of late. There is really a lot of sadness, negativity and down right bad in this world and we have one of two choices.....crumble under the weight of it all.....or fight our way through it. If you know me.....I do a little of both. I crumble at times and then after a short pity-party.....I come out with gloves on and fists held high!

This crumble and fight scenario has been my way of life for years as I will lay in a puddle of my own tears to the back drop of some sappy angst ridden tune only to come out fighting with Eye of the Tiger playing loudly in my head! Not sure whether I can chalk this up to my upbringing, my faith or the Dougherty blood that courses through my veins. I imagine it is a combination of the three. Whatever the case, I am never down for the count and I always come back possibly bruised but never broken. I am not alone.

This month has been the anniversary of some really nasty tornadoes to hit this part of the country. Lives have been lost and towns destroyed due to these massive monsters who leave pain and destruction in their path. These towns nor their surviving populace though, ever seem to crumble. They mourn their losses, bandage their wounds, rebuild their towns and go on with the business of living. They are a testament to the resilience and strength of spirit that humans seem to pull from in times where everything seems all but lost. They come out fighting and dwelling on not what was lost but what they still have to be grateful for. Whether it is faith in God or faith in each other.....they fight back.

As you know I have asked for prayers for baby Adele White. Hers is a case of fighting if I ever saw one. Weeks ago she was fine and Monday she had surgery for a brain tumor. The doctors thought they got 90% of the tumor only to find that they merely got 60% and the tumor is a particularly nasty and aggressive tumor with a poor prognosis in someone so young. Her parents are terrified and oh so grateful all in the same breath. Since Adele's surgery.....she has had an amazing recovery. Though still in the hospital till tomorrow at least.....she is feisty and happy (as happy as a 16 month old can be confined to a small space) and apparently in little pain after her ordeal. So how can her parents find the grace to be so grateful....especially at a time like this? Their faith and their ability to see beyond today. There are trials out there that are in late stages that hold some hope for Adele and she will be starting them soon. They have also seen the generosity of those they know and many they don't know. People have rallied around them and helped them with their other kids, food, their house and even the finances which will undoubtedly be strapped for some time to come. Most of all....they are grateful for the love, support and greatest of all....the prayers that have been showered on them. Even if Melissa and Pete have felt anger over this (and who wouldn't at some point) never have they shown negativity or resentment that this has happened. Instead of wasting emotion on that....they have come out fighting. They are fighting with every resource physical and spiritual they have. Even in this adversity....they are growing stronger and they are not letting this crumble them. I am sure Eye of the Tiger isn't far from their thoughts either.

In contrast to all of this...I told you about the new blog I was reading and how for some reason it was kind of like a train wreck and I simply couldn't help but be intrigued by this individual. His posts of late have been very negative and past the point of self-pity. He has dived into a ritual of obviously posting for pity....whether he sees it or not. He is also angry.....very angry at no doubt the loss of his son and the fact that he has chronic pain. That anger has spilled over into blog rants of blasphemy towards God and hate towards anyone who disagrees with his God rants, political views or simply tests his patience in any way.

I noticed that he has gone from many people commenting on his posts to just a few here and there. Some of this is likely because he berates those who disagree with him or who even kindly offer good thoughts and prayers for him. Another part though is I believe that even those who like him and his posts can only take so much hate, anger and negativity. With a million blogs on the web to read.....it is hard to stick with one that has become nothing but one long pity party. It is sad really, because even though he and I are polar opposites on just about everything.....he is an interesting old guy.

Today I really couldn't hold my tongue anymore as his latest post was one long rant about how horrible God is while at the same time denying belief in God. Yeah....it was an anger blog of self-pity and trying to place blame for the fact that he was suffering in life and blaming that which he claimed didn't exist. Strange I know. I think thoughts of Adeles family and how they have every right to be angry and yet they choose positivity also fueled my need to comment. Using as much filter as I could muster (which wasn't much) I let him know that I felt a lot of things for him but pity wasn't one of them. It was a rather lengthy comment as I had held my tongue through several poor me blogs of his lately and I simply had some stuff to say. I honestly didn't comment to insult him or make him madder which I am sure I probably did or will when he reads it. I commented because all the other comments he seems to get are pats on the back for his negativity or pity comments that both make him angry and feed into his need for sympathy because life done did him wrong. Maybe I do feel a bit of sadness for the old coot because I think he has allowed his negativity, anger and self-pity to swallow him up to the point that he no longer fights. In fact I am pretty sure he quit fighting long ago and all that is left is someone who is crumbling and angry that he somehow didn't get special treatment in this life. Do I think my words had any effect? Sure....IF he even read past the first couple of sentences (and that is a big IF) I am pretty sure I pissed him off. The truth through someone elses eyes can often have that effect....especially if that truth cuts close to home. Likely my comment will be discarded and his negativity will over ride any truth and he will continue to crumble before his readers eyes, no fight, no hope.....just go down for the count. Really sad.

Yep...that migraine is starting to win. Perhaps if spring would ever actually get here I could rid myself of both the cold wet weather and the pain in my head. However....if that is all I have to complain about, then I will just call myself blessed and call this.....a blog! "It's the eye of the tiger. It's the thrill of the fight........."

Thirty Hours Ain't No Big Thang

I am not sure whether this was too long of a weekend or too short. I am thinking another day of not living in the real world would be nice, but then again.....that might make me lazy. Okay.....lazier! If you happened to read David's blog this weekend, then you know we made a very quick trip to St. Louis to take David for a check up at Shriners Hospital. I say quick as it was made in about 30 hours round trip, but the fact is.....unless you go by plane, you are talking about a good 6.5 to 7 hours one way in the car. It is a trip that I like less and less each time. Maybe this is because I have worked the numbers and the routes to the point that I have the trip down to the shortest route and the least amount of travel time....and I know the trip will never get any better than it currently is...unless I speed and that never works out well for me!

This time...instead of begrudging the trip though....I decided to try to find the positives or at the very least, make the trip more interesting.....if only in my own head. As I took off heading north on the turnpike....I was doing a mental comparison of Kansas vs. Missouri. Of course there is no comparison because it is like comparing apples and oranges. While they are both states....that is about where the comparison ends. Kansas is endless plains (except for the hilly areas in the Flint Hills) and if not for hedgerows and trees....it seems that in certain places you might possibly be able to see forever. In the spring Kansas scenery is made up of fields of blooming purple clover, wild violets and trees no longer sparse and naked but slowly sprouting their tiny green leaf buds. There are miles that you can travel without seeing towns and rarely a house. If not for the highways...it might very well look similar to how it looked a century ago. Missouri on the other hand....the first thing you notice is that it has better roads and taking I-70 your first view of the state is bustling city as you trade Kansas City, KS for Kansas City, MO. Once out of the city though, the terrain is much rockier and much more hilly. Instead of a smooth horizon much of the road has high rocky ledges and in the distance...vastly rolling hills. In some ways I noticed that Missouri was much greener than Kansas. I am not sure if that is just the difference in the two states or maybe the current temperature and weather differences. They've had a weird spring too. Once I crossed the state line though.....I couldn't help but drift back to my first Missouri experience.

I loved Missouri long before I ever stepped foot in the state. As a young child maybe 8 or 9, I had read the most amazing book by author Harold Bell Wright. It was about a minister who leaves the big city for mental as well as physical health reasons and finds himself in the hills of Missouri. He becomes friends with the locals and he learns about the simple ways of their lives, a few hidden secrets and most of all.....he finds himself closer to God than he ever dreamed possible. I seldom read books more than once, but this book....The Shepherd of the Hills, I have read dozens of times over the years. As a kid I lost myself in the story of Aunt Molly, Old Matt, Sammy Lane, Young Matt and Pete. I longed to walk barefoot through the Missouri hills with Sammy or smell one of Aunt Molly's suppers coming from their little cabin. It all seemed so magical and I so wanted to see this amazing place that Wright chose as the backdrop for this beautiful story.

When I was about 12 my wish came true and my mom and aunt took my brother and I on the first vacation I had ever been on. We went to Branson, MO. Back then.....Branson was little more than a tiny town set back in the hills not far from Springfield. It's big draw at the time was Silver Dollar City, a small town opened from spring to fall and run by locals. It was full of stores selling local crafts as well as some of the areas finest glass and stone. It also was an amusement park of sorts. As much fun as it all was....just outside Branson was what I was longing to see, for not far down the winding road was Shepherd of the Hills. The book was based to some degree on a real story and the Matts, Molly and Sammy were real people who had lived, worked and died in these hills. Old Matt and Aunt Molly's cabin still stands and there is a now a museum and a theater where they have nightly re-enactments of the Shepherd of the Hills story. A tram ride takes you through the property and lets you see what life might have been like for these people at the turn of the century when a tired old man came to find himself and his faith. Although we didn't get to stay for the play.....everything else was amazing and I was at once in love with this place. It was everything that I had imagined it to be.....and more. 

Over the years I have returned to Branson twice more and each time the small town has grown to the point of now being a huge tourist attraction year round. Silver Dollar City too has grown, become more commercial and it seems like much bigger. Shepherd of the Hills though, hasn't changed much. They did put a huge tower there that you can go up into and see far into Arkansas, but other than that.....Old Matt could come back today and I think he might still recognize the place.

My next foray into Missouri was the first time I came to meet my husbands family. This trip took me farther East to about 75 or 80 miles South of St. Louis. Since my husband Tim grew up in Missouri.....the roads didn't phase him and we drove almost a straight line East from Wichita to his home town of Bismarck. Many of the roads were two lane and far off the beaten path and the closer you got to Bismarck, the more curvy and for me, unsettling the roads got. The scenery along the way was beautiful but about thirty miles from his hometown.....the car sickness outweighed even the prettiest scenery. Luckily it didn't last long. I loved his home town, not because it was particularly beautiful. In fact it was very small, maybe no more than a thousand or so people and the downtown area was all but vacant. There is something about this though that I found intriguing. Buildings with a history.....empty and discarded and yet still a part of the town. The house Tim grew up in though, was always beautiful. It sits on 3 acres and from the lawn to the gardens.....it is always picture perfect. It is the epitome of comfort and home. 

After Tim died....it took me a while to make that trip back to Bismarck, partly because of the memories and partly because of the drive. The trip on those lonely two lane highways and through those curvy roads was not very appealing for me with three kids. Eventually it dawned on me that I didn't have to take those roads. There were other routes in which that trip could be made. Thank God for Google Maps. It was at this time I realized that I could take 35 North to I-70. This also scared me a bit because I had never driven in Kansas City, but after a stay at Children's Mercy in Kansas City....I knew I could do it. After all....when you get lost in a city, have to ask a complete stranger for directions and then miraculously find your way back to your destination.....you pretty much own that city. At least that is what I tell myself every time I drive through it. Another plus for going the 35 to 70 route is that once on 70 going East....you run right into to Columbia which is where we can stay with my aunt and uncle over night and cut the driving time in a little over half. I also had the route marked out to where I could sort of outskirt St. Louis and head South to Bismarck without hitting major traffic....unless of course you make a wrong turn and get lost in the city. Yeah.....I pretty much own St. Louis too!

Since we started going to Shriners though....I have again fine tuned the trip so that we don't have to put everyone out every time we go to Shriners. Lets face it.....we are not a quiet or easy bunch when we invade a space, so we make the Shriners appointment early and drive straight to Shriners from Columbia. It is about a 2 hour trip with little or no traffic. After the appointment we just take off and drive straight through to home. It works well for everyone.

Making this trip has been an accomplishment of sorts in my life. I proved to myself that I could do it. Now though....because the trips have been so frequent over the last year, it really doesn't hold much for me except the knowledge that it is an important benefit to Davids life. I seldom pay attention to the scenery as I am focused on time, mileage and exit signs. The thought of being in the same state as the one Wright wrote about rarely enters my mind. The trip has just become mundane and necessary.

So as I said.....as we were leaving this time it dawned on me that this trip would be a part of our lives for possibly years to come. Ever so often there would be at least 30 hours where our life consisted of travel, Kansas vs. Missouri scenery and a lot of car time riding together. Rather than dread this time or lose 30 hours to nothing more than sign reading and wishing that we were all doing something else....I decided to make the time count. Remembering how I used to feel about Missouri helped and knowing that I was competent and getting fairly comfortable with the drive was also a plus. I also watched the scenery and noticed the houses which seemed to be precariously close to I-70 and wondered why someone would choose a place like that to live. I saw the fields of cattle and watched as billboards became more frequent with pro-life messages....but not to be out done by the billboards telling us that there were XXX stores at the next exit. It was a strange mix. Then there are those huge steel bridges which cross the Missouri river and cause my heart to head for my throat each time I must drive over them. High places and vehicles mixed.....give me huge anxiety.

Just outside of Columbia there is a sign with Betty Boop advertising a Nostalgia Store just down the road. There are also flashing road signs telling us every few miles that 163 people have died on MO roads this year and that 53% of those drivers were not wearing seat belts. MODOT cares! While I find this a bit unnerving....I do double check at least twice to make sure Z and David both have their seat belts securely around them. Mom cares too!

Through all of this Z had his cell phone plugged into the car speakers via a wired cassette that goes into the cassette player. We spent hours listening to music through Spotify. When it was my turn to choose a genre.....as usual I chose musicals. Z typed in Memphis (the musical) to give Spotify a place to search. It was musical pay dirt as I found new songs and new musicals which I had never heard before but now think I must see. Z kept me apprised of the new alternative music as well as humoring me with some country and 80's rock. We listened, we sang and we discussed the music, the road signs and we even delved into a little bit about what was going on in our lives. David meanwhile stayed in the back seat watching the cars pass by and letting out a "yee haw" whenever a song came on that he liked. Periodically I could see him bopping his head or boogying to a techno beat or a great country song. The drummer in him came out as he beat the back of my seat in time to Bon Jovi and Motley Crue. The time just seemed to get lost in the scenery, the music and the conversation.

As I pulled off the turnpike....about ten miles from home, Z turned down the radio and said, "You know, I dreaded this trip but..... it really wasn't too bad. In fact....it was kind of fun." I couldn't help but smile. Yeah....I too had dreaded this trip. I wanted nothing more than for it to be behind me. Now that it was though, I actually felt a little sad. In those 30 hours.....I didn't just travel to a destination and back. In those 30 hours, I laughed...a lot. I saw things along the way that I had never paid attention to before. I sang....which I know was fun for me, but not so much for those captive in the car with me. I talked to my son and learned a little more about the young man who will be graduating in a year and who is developing a life and a future of his own. My boys and I jammed together going down the road and most important of all.....we enjoyed our time together as a family. It was the best 30 hours I had spent in a long time.

Now we are home armed with new knowledge about David and a plan for the short term. And what started out as a dreaded trip, turned into an unexpected good time....and that makes the thought of the next trip....a little more palatable. All in all I would have to say that as a family....we got much more out of this trip than medical advice. We got memories for a life time....and let's not forget.....I found a new musical. I guess what we all learned is that when you are having fun with family.... 30 hours really ain't no big thang! ;)

Prayers for Adele

I realized yesterday that I have been really really out of the facebook and even the blogging loop. I was shocked beyond words when a post came across my fb news feed talking about the baby daughter of a friend of mine. It said that she (Adele) had a brain tumor and was going to need surgery. My heart sank into my chest. Then it hit me.....

I had talked to her mom Melissa a while back. I can't even remember why. It must have been on fb and she had asked me to say some prayers for Adele as Adele was having some health issues. I remember saying prayers for her nightly for awhile and I heard nothing else (because I obviously wasn't paying attention). Since Melissa had not elaborated at the time....it never occurred to me that Adele might be seriously ill. After seeing today's post....I wanted to cry.

Melissa writes a blog Work in Progress which is actually one I read quite often....when I read the blogs. I love her blogs because they are always about her family, her faith or sometimes about ways to save money or organize. Yeah....I am all about the organization right now so I should have been reading! At any rate....I immediately went to her blog and sure enough....she had been detailing Adele's health since the onset of her symptoms and giving daily reports on what the doctors are thinking. Let me say here....there are lots of doctors, several medical opinions and the family is still keeping their options opened for the most skilled neurosurgeon and the best hospital to perform the surgery that it is looking like little Adele is going to need.

Let me back up and say.....I first met Melissa several years ago. I met her through a friend I worked with and I went to a Mary Kay/Thirty-one Gift/Jewelry/several other vendors party at her house. She invited me to bring cheesecake so I could get some orders just on the word of our mutual friend. What a kind thing to do. I liked Melissa right off because she was laid back and friendly. She was also the first person that I knew that hard core bargain shopped and I believe she might even be a bit of a couponer. At any rate....she had a small stockpile of stuff she had purchased at deep discounts and I was totally impressed. I think that was the first stockpile I ever saw. We became fb friends after the party and have kept in touch ever since.

As time went on....I discovered that Melissa and I actually had quite a bit in common. First of all she is Catholic and second.....she is a dedicated pro-life advocate very much involved in Kansans for Life. She is also a wife, mother of three (and when Adele came along...mother of four), very involved in her church, politics, working out and blogging. She is the me I would like to be if I was 20 years younger. She is smart, well versed in politics and she seems to be able to keep up on current events and keep her house clean and organized, all at the same time. Is there any wonder I stand in awe of her?

Melissa's faith is very deep and very strong and whenever I would post on fb about David going into the ER or David having a health issue....she was always one of the first to offer prayers....and trust me....those prayers were all that got me through at times. She like myself knows that there are times when prayers are the most important gift one friend can give to another. I know her prayers have helped to pray David well on numerous occasions, so today....when I saw the news of Adele.....I knew it was my turn to return the favor.

Adele started out with what they thought was Bells Palsy. When it did not go away....she was given an MRI where the tumor was discovered. A more detailed account is in Melissa's blog . At any rate the tumor was felt to be benign but very unusual in someone as young as she is. A local neurosurgeon definitely suggested this be checked out by a neurosurgeon who was highly specialized in just this sort of thing in young children. After talking to a neurosurgeon at  Johns Hopkins and sending him the MRI's ....he felt that the tumor was both benign and  stable and for now could be watched. Surgery didn't seem immediately necessary. An appointment however to get into JH was weeks away. Worried that the wait might not be the right thing.....Melissa and her husband got an earlier appointment and took Adele to St. Louis Children's where the neurosurgeon there checked her out. He wanted another MRI done and this time after the MRI was complete and had been checked out by the STLCH tumor board....they felt there had been change in the size (getting larger) and also that it might be spreading. This indicated that it was likely not benign and would require immediate removal. In fact....they want to remove it Monday. Meanwhile....JH still feels the tumor is benign and stable.

As you can imagine....Melissa and her husband are beside themselves. Their healthy baby has gone from Bells Palsy to a benign tumor to now a dangerous and possibly malignant tumor all in a matter of weeks. Doctors are not agreeing on the severity or even the need for immediate surgery and they are living a nightmare trying to figure out which doctor is right and if they are risking Adeles life if they wait to be seen at JH. It is every parents nightmare as they try to figure it all out, make the best decision for their daughter and at the same time.....they feel completely helpless as parents.

There are also possible side affects to the surgery whether the tumor is benign or not. She could have loss of hearing and nerve damage for the rest of her life. Of course in the big scheme of things.....those things you can live around quite nicely. There are just no easy answers and no definite direction yet. Melissa stated that she had been given a few more names and contacts for JH and she was going to follow up on those today in hopes of getting Adele in much sooner than scheduled.

So here's the deal. As I said....I have many prayers to pay back and as a mother, my heart is breaking for what Adele and her family are facing right now. What I am asking is first and foremost......PLEASE pray for this little girl and her family. Prayers are powerful tools and Adele needs all she can get right now. Pray for a complete healing, pray for her parents to be pointed in the right direction where doctors and hospitals are concerned and pray that Adele comes through this and has a very long, very healthy and very happy life ahead of her. Second....if you read this and you have any information that might help Melissa (ideas how to get an earlier appt., the names of top neurosurgeons in the country or anything that you think might be helpful) please comment on this blog. Your thoughts or ideas might be ones they haven't yet come up with and it might just be what helps Adele. Also...please share this blog. The more people that see it the more prayers we have going. Also....check back with Melissa's blog for further updates as she is updating almost daily.

This is a situation no parent wants to find themselves in. I know that Melissa and her husband are strong and they have an awesome family, friend and church support system....but the worry and the fear when it is your child are sometimes over powering. Sometimes you just need to know that there are prayers.....lots and lots of prayers going up for your child and that is something that we all can do for them and for their precious little girl.



*******Adele's picture is not mine and I have no rights it.

I am a Blog Voyeur

A little fun fact about me. I am a full on people watcher. I am a student of human nature and there is not much about people that doesn't pique my interest. Now I am not a voyeur per se but I love to be out in public and watch people act, react and be the best and worst of who they are. I also love to talk to people and read about people. I guess I find the inner workings of others intriguing. I find people who are polar opposites of myself particularly interesting. I can't help but wonder what in their lives brought them to be who they are, after all.....we are all products of past and circumstance.

Because of this love of humans and human nature.....that is likely why my personal library is full of mostly biography's and autobiography's. I read about stars, saints, pioneers and every day people. Each has their own story and each is as different as a snowflake. I guess that is why I also like blogs so much. Blogs are essentially personal journals of thoughts on day to day life put out in the world so we all can see. Come to think of it....maybe I am a bit voyeuristic. Perhaps a Blog Voyeur! Whatever you choose to call it...reading blogs are a great way to get insight in to real living people all over the world who come from all walks of life.

On my blog roll I have quite a few blogs that I dearly love to read, but rarely do I have the time. However....when I do get a minute or two....I sneak over and check out some of my favorites. One that I love beyond all measure is a blog that I just accidentally came upon one day. The writer is a young woman, late twenties I believe and when I first started reading....she and her fairly new husband had just bought a new house. One that was probably too big and too expensive for them to afford....yet it was her dream home. This young woman is irreverent, somewhat self-absorbed and so funny that she often leaves me laughing to the point of snorting or crying. I learned long ago never to read her blog when others were around or when I was drinking anything. I knew this girl was special as she had a way with words and comedic timing that was pure talent. Whether she was talking about her job as a teacher, her biking, her shoe fetish or her lack of control when it came to shopping.....she pulled no punches, she was always funny and often she portrayed herself as not coming out looking so good in the end. Then one day it happened.....the right person finally saw her skill and soon she was a bona fide writer. I am so proud of her and proud of myself for knowing talent when I saw it. Yeah....I take credit anywhere I can! I think she could possibly be the new and edgier Erma Bombeck. Possibly Bombeck with a 'tude!

Other blogs I follow are one where a young woman lost her young husband to cancer. Her blog was/is her therapy and eventually her healing process. I have shed a few tears reading that one. Another blog is of a woman who is documenting the journey of her father who has Alzheimers. The way she writes is both uplifting and sad at the same time. Knowing that the outcome is inevitable....she and her entire family try to find the blessings and the joy in her father's final earthly journey. Her last blog was five weeks ago and things weren't looking good. I fear his journey may have ended.

I follow other blogs too....blogs about kids, blogs about cooking and blogs just about things. I also follow some of my family's blogs and a friend or two. One thing I always try to do though is to reciprocate a following if someone starts to follow me. I figure if someone finds something interesting or enticing in what I have to say....then maybe I will find things just as interesting in theirs. And this leads me to my latest follower who became a follower and an ex-follower in the course of a week. I on the other hand will continue to follow him because for some strange reason.....he intrigues me. I know it is the whole past and circumstance thing that has me so fascinated and honestly....I am not sure why.

About a week ago....I had posted a blog. I can't even tell you which one but in the comments I had someone comment who actually didn't comment as anonymous and they even had their own blog. This gentleman said he found my blog interesting or entertaining or something and that he had chosen to follow me and he hoped I would come check his blog out and reciprocate. A day or so later I did. He blogged about his view of the world...political mostly and sometimes you could read a real irritation in his words although he seemed to try to make the tone....at least in some of his blogs as more nonchalant than irritated. He was a man in his seventies I believe, and from reading his blog he was not in the best of health and had lost a son in the not so distant past. The few entry's I read sounded as if he possibly had mid road political views with a liberal lean. He was interesting because he was a vet and he stated he supported the Constitution and he felt that anyone who thought the Constitution was in danger was just pretty much an extremist and an alarmist. I commented on one of his posts....very respectfully and actually to draw him out a bit as he answers all of his comments. He was nice in return but I could tell that my worry about 1st and 2nd Amendment rights got under his skin a bit.

So last night I had a few minutes....and I went over to his blog to see any recent postings. He seems to be a daily or almost daily blogger and with all that had gone on in the last week....I was interested to see his opinions. Now as I said....he is not in the greatest of health, although I don't know what is wrong with him. He states that he walks with a walker and is in pain a great deal so I can only imagine what kind of a mood that would put you in. But I was really surprised to read his blogs. They were no longer hinting at irritation....they were now full on rants...some political and some personal. He stated that he had gone through and unfollowed all the blogs that he was following who were crazy tea party extremist who didn't support the president and didn't have anything nice to say about him. Mind you though.....he was ripping up congress and specifying certain members he felt were worthless (mostly conservative members). It made me wonder if he was still following me or if he found me to be an extremist too and no longer worth reading. Apparently he did as I looked and he was no longer a follower. See what happens when I get political???? Damn my controversial side!!!!

I think the unfollowing me made me just that much more intrigued by him so I read on. He was a vet and as a vet he said that Obama had done much for vets. Now I haven't read up on what has happened with vets or what has or hasn't been done for them....but I know current military are getting some pretty raw deals. I honestly wanted to comment and ask him what Obama had done for the vets (a legit question) but in his current blogging mood....I was afraid it might put him over the edge thinking that I was trying to be a smart alec or condescending so I refrained. He went on to talk about his short temper and going off at a waitress who had patted him on the back and caused him pain and about someone else getting smart with his wife. Intermixed with all of this was his complete dislike for conservative views on anything from the budget to abortion, (I am sure yesterdays blog didn't do much for making him a fan) and his self proclaimed liberal views which held no room for conservative views, thoughts or opinions of any kind.

Along with all of this, there was something sad though about his writing. Something that made you feel that he saw life and people as one big let down. It made me wonder if he had it to do over again....if he would have chosen to fight for this country and the population that seems so overwhelmingly disappointing to him. Now mind you....I don't pity this man. After all...who doesn't have loss and physical or mental pain in their life? Who hasn't been let down by others....and who doesn't get frustrated to the point of high blood pressure at opposing political views? Sadness I feel....but pity seems to be something he has enough of. Most of it self given. I don't think he needs me to help make it a full on party. In fact if I feel pity for anyone....I feel it for his wife whom he talks about a lot and I would bet gets to deal with the brunt of his discontent when he has no conservatives or waitresses to go off on. Still...he fascinates me. Maybe it is his age and also his military status along with the many things he says that seem calm almost humorous to the full on rants he seems to pull out full of irritation, four letter words and border line hate. He is an oxymoron to say the least.....and those to me are the most interesting people in the world.

I am sure I will continue to read this mans blog as he goes beyond the basics of what I did for lunch today. By the way....mine was turkey and cucumbers. He is obviously passionate, a bit uneven and to me....fascinating. I will also continue to read about handling twins, becoming an up and coming writer and life after loss. I will read the words and look for their meanings between the lines and at times find comfort in the fact that everyone has problems and that there are those out there who can and do make me laugh even on my worst days. There are also those who teach me, others who make me think and most of all.....there are those who are a reminder that this world is big enough for all of us. Yes folks...I am a Blog Voyeur!

Wichita's Shame and the Case of Kermit Gosnell

Well...here I go again...jumping head first into a rather heated topic. Now this is hardly my first time speaking out about abortion. I have written blogs, posted in chat rooms and even prayed at clinics...not to mention the long conversations that I have had with women both thinking about abortion and who are post abortion. As you might guess, I am no novice to the controversy. For those who know me there has never been a question of which side of the fence I am on. I have shared and respectfully argued my pro-life views many times over the years but since Dr. George Tillers death, I have said little. His death was not a win for the side of pro-life. It was a tragedy. However, the fact remains that with Tiller gone the life expectancy for the unborn in both Wichita and the midwest jumped considerably. Rather than to beat a dead horse though, I chose to remain silently thankful that Wichita was no longer abortion central. Besides...what good does it do to keep ranting about a law that is likely not to change? Also, people seem to have become indifferent to the subject. In fact....there came a time when I wondered if there was really anything left to say on the subject and even if there was....was there anybody listening? I have felt this way for a while and then two occurrences made me feel as if perhaps it was time to speak out again. The first occurrence was the fact that the abortion clinic in Wichita, empty since the murder of  Tiller, has been reopened as a working abortion clinic again and the second is the case of Dr. Kermit Gosnell...and I use the term doctor very loosely in his case. Both to me are alarming and need some commentary.

Before I continue...let me give you a little background as to where my pro-life attitudes and convictions come from. As a child I was always taught that human life, all human life was special. Each of us was created with a purpose and none of us would die until we had fulfilled that purpose. We all mattered and each of us deserved the right to life and the respect of that life from conception to natural death.  I was also taught from the time I was old enough to understand certain concepts....that human life begins at conception. While I may have simply taken my mothers word for this early on...I mean after all, she was a nurse....when I became pregnant with my first child the understanding that I was carrying human life was immediately driven home. With each movement, each kick and each hiccup I knew that I wasn't an incubator for a fetus but that I was carrying a human life. A baby, and that life was as precious to me as my own. I was also taught that when there is injustice in the world...it is not only my right but also my duty to speak out about it and try my best to change it.

Apparently the pro-life blood line in my family is strong as before there were blogs, facebook or twitter for people to speak their minds on, there were newspaper editorials. My mother was no stranger to the Wichita Eagles editorial section as several times a year she would write in speaking her mind, often on abortion. They usually printed it and I am sure that Mom often wondered herself if anyone was reading? Was anyone listening? My aunt too is pro-life to the core and during the Summer of Mercy in 1991, she was on the front lines with Operation Rescue mounting a peaceful and prayerful demonstration in front of Tillers clinic. A woman in her late fifties at the time, doing nothing more than praying in protest to the atrocities going on behind the closed doors of the clinic. It was an act of civil disobedience that under other circumstances she would likely have been applauded for but instead she was hauled away in a police wagon with others who chose to also peacefully challenge a law. They were shown the accommodations of the Sedgwick Country jail for 48 hours. If they thought this little stint in jail would frighten my aunt or deter her from her cause in any way...then the joke was on the police and those who had her arrested. As the story was relayed to me, my aunt talked with guards and inmates whom she said treated her and the other protestors very kindly. Perhaps it was her steadfast faith, her reciprocated kindness or quite possibly the fact that she looked like somebody's mother which caused those inside to show her the gentler side of a normally ugly place. Whatever the case, she was no worse for the wear and certainly not ready to quit fighting the good fight.

As I have gotten older, I realize that when anything is offered on a silver platter....it is likely to be taken. Abortion is no different. Abortion is marketed as a fix to a problem. A way out of a tough situation. For years Planned Parenthood would give free pregnancy tests to young girls in our area. If they weren't pregnant then PP would strongly suggest the girl get on birth control and the girl would leave PP with a bag full of contraceptives, the relief that she had dodged a bullet this time and the go ahead to get back out there and have sex again. If however, the girl did turn out to be pregnant....she was immediately handed pamphlets on abortion. Many of these girls were young, hardly legal and scared as hell. They were afraid to tell their parents, afraid for people to find out and PP perpetuated the notion that abortion was fast, safe, easy and their golden ticket out of a bad situation. Just lay down your money and you are in and out. So many young girls bought into this. They were never told that they were actually carrying human life. They were never given the risks and most importantly....no one ever explained to them that abortion was an act that once completed, can never be undone. No one ever told them that abortion would haunt them for years to come.

I find it difficult to find a lot of fault with young girls in their teens who have abortions. Teens are notorious for making bad decisions. I do however find fault with parents who force or coerce their daughters into having abortions. I also find fault with grown women who know better choosing abortion as birth control....sometimes multiple times. I also find fault with clinic workers who tell half truths to would-be patients and treat the women as if they were on an assembly line giving them little thought or care. Why should they? This is a one time deal. They aren't paid enough to get invested in these girls. I think though the ones I find the greatest fault with are the hard core pro-choice women. No...I am not talking about the ones who claim pro-choice status but rarely think about or speak of the subject. I am talking about pro-choice women who are on the front lines fighting for abortion at all cost. In my humble opinion there is no more dishonest group nor a more dishonest title than pro-choice. And pro-choice women while claiming to fight for women in reality are turning their back on their own.

Pro-choice sounds good coming out of the gate and with women being deemed second class citizens for so long, it sounds like something women can get behind. However, if you really think about it and dissect what pro-choice really stands for, you soon realize that it is a ruse and a mantra filled with dishonesty and misinformation. PC women will tell you that they support women's rights? To that I say....."Really?" Yes...they support some women's rights but certainly not all women's rights. There have been millions of girls...not yet women, who have died over the years not by guns, cancer, heart disease or any other disease. They have died at the hands of a doctor under the direction of their mothers. Why aren't pro-choice women and men for that matter.....fighting for these soon to be women whose lives are cut short before they even have a chance? What is worse is these girls who are condemned to such awful deaths by someone elses "choice" are complete innocents as are the boys whose mothers decide that their lives are also too inconvenient to continue. So pro-choice which is a very broad statement and sounds all inclusive, suddenly becomes much smaller, much less impressive and very restrictive on just who they feel should have a choice. It comes down to the fact that yes they support choice.....for the woman who wishes to abort her child. They do not however support choice for the father who helped create the child and who wants the child to live, nor do they support choice for the life who is about to be destroyed and literally has no voice. The bottom line is......they support choice for the few. They support choice for women and not even all women. Only the select few who see someone elses life as insignificant when it stands in the way of their own desires. And again I ask the questions that I have asked again and again. Who would ever choose to die as those unborn babies do? Just what kind of choice is that?

In a piece I wrote several years ago Ask Them What They Mean By Choice, I had many people comment on some of the points I made about abortion. Of course I hit some pretty sore spots with those who disagree with me on the subject but one paragraph in particular seemed to cause the most upheaval and in a couple of cases....even outright anger. I will share it with you now.

"So here's the deal. I will never agree with abortion and I will always pray for those who find abortion as a solution to a problem in their life. However....if you are going to have an abortion, support abortion, or participate in an abortion....then at least be honest about what you are doing. If you choose abortion.....this is the reality of what you mean by choice: A child was created who was not wanted for whatever reason. This child is a living human being who is in early stages of growth, but very much human and very much alive. Because you don't want this child/can't keep this child/feel like having this child may cause you mental or physical issues, rather than allow this child to have a life even if it is not with you.....you are going to have an abortion. An abortion is YOUR choice....NOT and I repeat....NOT the unborn child you carry's choice. By having this abortion....you know this child will not be anesthetized during the last horrendous moments of his or her life. You do know that the child will be dissected and torn apart inside you....while still alive. And finally.....you have full knowledge that this child....a child you created will end up in a garbage bag and taken out with the rest of the trash and disposed of....not with any form of dignity.....but as nothing more than waste! This is what is meant by choice in the case of abortion. Also remember....that if these same acts were imposed on you....they would be considered illegal, unconscionable, unethical, and completely inhuman which would likely carry either a sentencing of life in prison or more likely a death sentence for those involved with the act. However...do it to an innocent unborn child....it is merely a choice. A choice with no consequences which leaves many to repeat the act over and over again. If this is your idea of choice....I think I will pass."

Maybe the anger following this was the product of the fact that I left no room for denial. Maybe it made them think or maybe it was simply more information than some who have had abortions ever thought about or were ever given. Most women I have talked to post abortion were given very little information above and beyond the standard "easy and safe procedure" info. Whatever the case....my email and my fb private messages were full of comments especially directed at that one paragraph. I was even stopped on the street a time or two so that people could tell me in person what they thought of that blog. Don't get me wrong....there were many that agreed whole heartedly with what I said, but there were also those that found it very disturbing. Yes...facts can sometimes be disturbing.

I am very sad that once again Wichita will have the shame of being an abortion hub. They say that the new doctor will only do abortions until 14 weeks....as if this deserves some sort of kudos. That is like saying I can only kill a child up until they are 4 years old....after that whether I like it or not...the law says they have to live. It is heart breaking.

And now a little about Kermit Gosnell. People are horrified that this man could have done such horrific things inside his abortion clinic walls....right? Actually I have heard more people upset over the conditions of his clinic and the treatment of his patients than I have over the fact that he killed babies after they were born. Leave it to pro-choicers to pick and choose what should be viewed as horrific and what should be down played. I find the whole thing sickening...but not surprising.

When a law is made that disrespects the voiceless and most innocent of human life and in fact takes it away......you have to figure that it is a slippery slope to the point where other human life will in turn be disrespected, harmed and even killed. With the path we are currently on...it is not a stretch to imagine that in the future no human life will be respected and human rights as a whole will be all but gone. Humans in all their imperfection seem to always find a way to shoot themselves in the foot. Roe v. Wade just might have been the loaded gun that will do this. Man has always been his own worst enemy.

The reason that many pushed for Roe v. Wade in the beginning....was so women no longer had to risk their lives going to back alley abortionists. It is the cry that has been heard round the world by abortion supporters for years. If anyone ever dared say that Roe v. Wade might someday be overturned the first thing you will hear from abortion supporters is....."We will have to go back to unsafe back alley abortions." Funny that with abortion being legal and all, that so many abortion clinics are hardly the sterile and safe places that abortion advocates like to claim they are. With doctors like Gosnell running around....I would say a back alley abortion just might be safer. Truthfully Gosnell is not an isolated incident. He just simply got caught. There have been rumors of unclean clinics, less than sterile surgical implements and yes....even live birth abortions in clinics for years. Not to mention the women who have gone in for abortions believing it was a safe procedure only to have had extreme blood loss forcing further surgery and even hysterectomies, damage to the reproductive organs so that future pregnancies are impossible and even death. More of this happens than we think and some of it has happened right here in Wichita over the years. These are the dirty little secrets of the abortion world that pro-choicers don't want the world to know. Heck...some pro-choicers may not even know all the details themselves. I was once told that it takes a certain kind of cold hearted individual to be an abortionist, for even if they say otherwise, they know that they are destroying a living human life and going against the oath they took as doctors to "Do no harm." If they can be so cold and calculated as to perform such a lethal act many times a day, day in and day out....then what makes you think that they are going to take the Hippocratic Oath to heart on their already born patients? Bottom line...for them it is not about the woman. It is about the money! Yeah....this is quite a choice to support.

As time goes on....people seem to have become more immune to the thought of abortion and its consequences. What once was unthinkable, has now become an after thought to many and one that makes some roll their eyes during elections if it is an issue used to decide a persons vote. My thought has always been that if you don't care about all human life....then what makes me think you really care about any human life? That usually decides my vote. The current question that keeps me up at night is when we become a people who are numb to the death of innocents and blind to the facts surrounding their deaths then what does that say about our humanity?  I think the case of Kermit Gosnell sadly answers that question!

We Need Another Hockey Win

It is Monday.....and all that implies. I am trying to be open minded about the week ahead, but being that it is Monday....that isn't as easy as it sounds. I am trying to have high hopes but after last week, well..........need I say more? And speaking of last week, our local news was talking about the stretch between April 14th and April 20th and the significance of that week in history. In case you weren't aware.....let me enlighten you.

April 14th: 1865.....Lincoln was assassinated, 1912......the Titanic hits an iceberg and in 1935.....20 of the worst dust storms (called black blizzards) rolled through the plains causing almost blackout conditions. Coincidentally....the 14th fell on a Sunday that year causing it to be referred to as Black Sunday.

April 15th: ....In modern day this day starts out crappy for many every year. It is our last day to turn in our income tax information without getting an extension. As of last week.....it will also be remembered as the day of the  Boston Marathon Bombing where 3 were killed and 170+ were injured.

April 16th: 1922......Prohibition became the law. 2007........the Virginia Tech shootings in which 32 plus the shooter died.

April 17th: 1961.....the Bay of Pigs invasion into Cuba. 1969.....Senator Robert F. Kennedy was assassinated.

April 18th: 1906.....the San Francisco earth quake, killing approximately 3,000 and causing the city to burn almost to the ground. 1934.....the Lindbergh baby was kidnapped and a ransom of $5,000 was demanded, and in 1983....a car bomb exploded at the US Embassy in Lebanon killing 12.

April 19th: 1993.....Waco. Seventy members at the compound were killed. 1995....The Oklahoma City bombing. 168 people died that day.

April 20th: 1999.....the Columbine High School shootings where 13 were killed and 24 were injured.


So there you have it. Last week didn't stand a chance.  I am thinking it is a good thing that Prohibition was finally repealed. Especially this time of year. Yeah...last week was one of those weeks that you just wished you could jump ahead and avoid the week entirely, or at the very least....just go back to bed, cover your head and have someone wake you when it was over.

On a different note....the National Geographic channel recently ran an interesting series. It was about the decade of the 1980's. It was really educational not to mention a bit of a walk down memory lane. I was a young adult through most of the 1980's and though living through it all I remembered most of it....however, there were certain nuances that I have either forgotten or never realized existed as well as my memory for the timeline of events was a little blurred.

I found it very interesting that as we went into 1980 our country wasn't in a whole lot different shape than we are right now. I also found it interesting that historians seem to be looking back on the 80's and pinpointing the 1980 Olympics and the USA Hockey team win for the gold, as the turning point for America. Overnight...patriotism, pride and a huge desire to get the country on good footing again became every ones greatest goal. Watching the footage of those famous games leading up to the US win, I was taken back to sitting on the couch with my mom, heart in my throat.....praying for that US win....especially against Russia. Mom was no hockey fan, nor was I....but that day.....everyone in America was glued to the greatest hockey game any of us is ever likely to see. When we beat the Russians and then again when we beat Finland to take home the gold.....there were unabashed tears shed in my living room and likely in the living rooms of many across the country. This was more than a gold medal....this was the US walking into a bright light after coming out of some really dark times. It was also symbolic of the fact that although Russia and their nuclear capabilities were one of our greatest threats both figuratively and in reality......we BEAT them! At that moment they really didn't seem all that scarey. Little did I know though.....while the US hockey team was made up of working class college age kids, the Russian team was made up of full grown KGB men. Not only that...it was found that the Russians were also packing heat on the ice. My how things have changed. In short....the cards were stacked against the US going in and miracle of miracles.....we won!

The point of the series was to show that everything we have now from technology to our entitlement issues came out of the 1980's. Everything from how we entertain ourselves (video games and tv), to how we now listen to music, communicate and do business was basically born during those ten years. The ideas, the technology and the dream came from a single decade and thanks to free enterprise and unafraid entrepreneurs.....we are now a technology rich nation. Possibly the negative side to the 1980's though, was the loss of our core values from knowing the value of a dollar to feeling like things should be worked for instead of simply given. We were coming out of a stark era of wars, political unrest, riots, recession, high gas prices, high everything prices and we were really seeing no light at the end of the tunnel. To my parents....who came from very humble means, money was to be saved for a rainy day and when you shopped whether it be for food or clothes or whatever....you shopped for need....not desire. You had what you needed and that was enough. The 1980's though....changed not only the economic climate, but overnight it seemed to also change our way of thinking and yes....even our values!

The series talked in great length about the pro's and cons of one of the most iconic presidents in modern times....Ronald Reagan. I liked Reagan then, because my mom liked Reagan. In subsequent years though, I have learned that he was a one of a kind president whose wisdom, tough and unwavering stands and love of his country made him a one of a kind man....and to this day, I miss him. How unlikely.....an actor becoming a president. I learned from watching though that many feared Reagan because he had a no nonsense approach to his job and there was apprehension that his tough talk might turn into even tougher action...possibly causing WWIII or even an all out nuclear war. This fear was causing his approval rating to go down after his election until, the assassination attempt on his life. It seems that was a turning point in both his presidency and also how the majority of Americans viewed him.

While watching the assassination attempt I learned all these years later that Reagan was very close to death after the shooting. First because of blood loss and then because once in surgery....they could not readily find the bullet which had both penetrated and then lost itself in his lung. I don't remember thinking that he was that gravely hurt back then, but then again....I was a kid and it might simply have gone over my head. I do though remember watching his shooting being broadcast on the news and the anchorman only getting info from phone sources as we had no technology to move information at the speed of light back then. Because of this....it was originally broadcast that Reagan was not injured. What a horrible day for this country, the news media and most of all Reagan.

What seemed to turn the country around and give them a new appreciation for this man though....was how he handled this attempt on his life. Throughout the ordeal and even after, Reagan used his ever ready humor to show American's that number one....he wasn't dead yet and number two....that he would not allow this situation to stand in the way of who he was and how he did his job. In an amazingly short time, Reagan was healing and back on the job. While no president is perfect (after all they are human) Reagan seemed to have a pretty good handle on what America needed, what goals it needed to not only set but also achieve and what we needed to do to keep our reputation as a world power so that others knew we meant business and were not to be messed with. At a time when the push of a button could have had us in all out war in a matter of minutes....Reagan stood firm against the world and showed our enemies that Americans were not afraid nor do they back down. Apparently no one really wanted to test the metal of this actor turned president...especially when he started putting money....a lot of money into US defense. Say what you will about him, this man loved his country, the people and mistakes or not.....he ALWAYS had the countries best interest at heart.

In addition to our countries tough persona we were also showing the world that we were not only a free nation but also a free spending nation. Quickly leaving our thought patterns was the notion of saving and it was being replaced with the idea of "I want!" and words like disposable income. No longer was it just about buying to cover our needs.....now it was about buying to cover our wants. Malls were now dotting the landscape of just about every town and city in the country and not only non-essential but also fun products filled every shelf. It was the age of Mall Rats....a phrased coined to describe teens who spent every waking hour at the mall charging up their parents charge cards. It was also the birth of Valley Girls, although I never could quite figure out how Val's made it to Kansas. Gag me with a spoon!

The economy turned around and rather than feeling that a job was what one needed to survive, many started believing that a job was something we should enjoy. My dad to this day has never grasped that concept. In the 80's, if you didn't like what you were doing....you could just go out and start your own business. Capitalism and entrepreneurship were alive and well. Even hippies and flower children of the 60's who viewed big business and capitalism as dirty words were jumping on the bandwagon. With the countries new found disposable income....there was much money to be made.

Add to all of this the oil drilling of the 80's where people in Texas, Kansas, Oklahoma and the like were striking it rich almost daily. Wealth was becoming not only attainable but greatly sought after. Shows like Dallas and Dynasty continued to perpetuate the idea that wealth and even greed were good. We all got the attitude that "He who died with the most toys was the winner," and we all wanted to be the winner. This era of achieved and supposed wealth also spurred the economy as we all wanted to dress like Sue Ellen and Alexis and we wanted to drive cars, eat, drink and play like both the Ewings and the Carringtons.

Yes....we got both our technology and much of our attitude from the 1980's. Billions were gained and lost in the stock market. Fortunes were made, lost and made again, and we got a taste for money and things and we didn't want to let go....even if the money wasn't there. Credit card debt began to rise as did bankruptcies toward the end of the decade. Having so much made us want more even if that more turned into vices such as drugs and pornography. We were constantly looking for that next big thing....that next high. We were becoming not only insatiable....but also....entitled.

From the 1980's was born the idea of home computers, software, cell phones, mp3 players, video games, CD's and DVD's. Also the 1980's gave us the notion that wanting was good, greed was a asset and money was a god whose altar we should worship at. We learned that work should be fun and that both fun and whatever we wanted was a right to be taken.....not earned. Both high spending and high debt were okay and in the end....some did seem to lose their souls as well as their money.

On the upside....the 1980's also reminded us how great this country is, that underdogs do sometimes come out on top and that even a bullet to the lung can't keep a good man down. We watched as other countries backed down and respected us and we saw a wall brought down dividing a country. We were proud to say the Pledge of Allegiance, fly our flag and bow our heads in thanksgiving to God for this great country.

The 80's were a roller coaster of highs and lows. I have heard many who lived through it say..."I hated the 80's!" I however never felt that way. To me the 80's were an integral part of my late teen and young adult years. I was a child of the malls...not the money. I loved the fashion....yes, even the bad stuff and I, like most of the country was fixated weekly on what JR would do next. I liked the big hair, the music, the movies and the optimism. It was a heady time where being an American felt great, capitalism was a good thing and new ideas and entrepreneurship were encouraged.

As I watched this series in its entirety....about 5 or 6 hours, I couldn't help but wax nostalgic and I was amazed at how much I had either missed during that decade or simply never knew. All in all though....it struck me to see the similarities of then and now...history repeating itself I guess. And after it was over I couldn't help but think....this country really needs another hockey win!