Dating 101 or How to Find a Man in Lisaland....Need vs. Want

And so begins another behind day in Lisaland. Actually it began hours ago and I am just now having the time to blog. So this month is filled with a lot of strange emotions for me. For one...my birthday is this month and this is the last year in my forties (go ahead....you do the math). In some ways I feel better than I ever have and in some ways....not so much. My journey this year...and of late (the whole dating thing) has taught me some interesting things and lucky you.....you get to read while I sort out my crazy brain in this blog.  Here goes!

I have learned that deciding to date again and "needing" to date again are two vastly different things. There is a whole world out there obsessed with needing someone in order to be whole. I am already whole. I don't need someone to make my world...I simply need someone to compliment it. I have discovered that I am a very strong woman....I don't need to be held up or taken care of. I am very competent (there are a few of you who can shut up right now!). I can pay my own bills and see that my children and myself are taken care of. I can make the easy decisions and the really hard decisions and when life turns upside down (as it tends to from time to time) I am capable of setting things right again. I can look in the mirror and know that the person looking back has proven time and again that she can do it on her own and for the most part....does it quite nicely.

So once you know the difference between deciding to date and needing to date, that makes the whole experience much easier. Since there is no need I can now concentrate fully on the wants. I want a man who is a man. I want a man who wants a real woman and isn't trying to relive his youth with some unattainable and unrealistic version of a twenty something fantasy. I want real. I want hard working, hard playing and hard loving. I want someone who loves my kids not because he has to....but because he wants to. I want someone whose world gets better when I smile and who gives me butterflies whenever I think of him. I want the hand holding and the kissing. I want the laughter and I want someone there who lets me know that just because I can do it all by myself.....doesn't mean I have to. 

Yes...I know.....this is some pretty deep thinking for a Tuesday...especially when I am running behind, but it is what it is. So now that I have come to these realizations.....some very definite decisions have formed. With all that I have discovered that I do want....what I don't want or need are dating sites. I simply want nature to take its course. I firmly believe that if it is meant to be....it will be and it won't be when I am running after it. It will happen...as it always does, when I least expect it and from someone that I never saw coming. And honestly isn't life great like that? There is nothing better than the good surprises life affords you when you quit waiting for life to happen and start making it happen yourself.

Never fear....I will still keep you updated on the possibilities.....the thoughts and the self education that I continue to obtain, but I am afraid the dating sites and all that goes with them will no longer have a place in Lisaland. And on that note....I hope your day  is bright, wonderful and heading in a positive direction. Happy Tuesday everyone!

I Hang My Head in Shame

I had six emails and three fb messages asking me where I was yesterday. Thank you folks...it is nice to be missed. I was dealing with another brutal headache yesterday. It was my worst one so far and I could barely look at the computer, let alone type. I just gave it up for the day. Yep...that is right. I missed a day of blogging. It is my first one since the middle of February. I hang my head in shame. Thankfully today I feel a bit better, but still know that little headache sucker is lurking. I have a doctors appointment tomorrow and am hoping I can get to the bottom of this. Three weeks is way too much to time to be dealing with this stuff and when it cuts into my blogging.....not just NO....but HELL NO!

This week in My Favorite Recipes....I am sharing recipes from some friends. One is from a friend who I have known for years. She is the epitome of home cooking. Her recipes are highly sought after....and to actually have her make those recipes for you....is to die for. I dearly love my Marni and I love....love...love her recipes. I am sure you are too are going to make Marni's Chicken Enchilada's a family favorite.

The second recipe if from a friend who is very dear to me and whom I had the pleasure of seeing again at Old Settlers this year. She and her husband played a big part in my life when my husband Tim was alive and I don't honestly think anyone has ever made me laugh harder than she does. Along with her skills at making me laugh.....she also is a wonderful cook as her recipe for Robin's Crockpot Cheese Corn will be a testament to.

The final guest recipe (yes I am treating you to three this week) is from a woman whom I have only recently gotten to know through facebook, but who has lived in my small town for many years. She is a busy IV nurse and she spends much of her time traveling but obviously she isn't too shabby in the kitchen as her recipe for Donna's Chili Stew sounds like a winner to me. I had every intention of trying it this weekend, but of course.....we all know how that worked out for me. Donna also has a blog which I would love to read of. If you would like to become a Donna fan....you too can visit her blog and show her some love.

So without further ado....let's get these recipes started.

Marni's Chicken Enchilada

Whole chicken.....boil and pick meat off....(or like me I just use chicken breast)
2 cans of Cream of Chicken soup
1 can of Rotel Tomatoes (this is where you can make it mild or really spicy)
... Shredded Cheddar cheese (as much or as little as you want)
3 cups of rice

Mix the soup, rotel, and pieces of chicken together.......cook the rice

Layer
rice........chicken mixture....cheese.....again

bake 350 for 30 minutes or until heated through. Serve with sour cream.



Robin's Crockpot Cheese Corn

40 oz frozen corn

small can chopped green chilis

lrg jar of cheese whiz w/ jalepenos or mexican velveeta

16 oz container Sour Cream and chive dip..

put all together in crockpot and cook on low for 3 hours or high for 1 hour and a half..

Donna's Chili Stew

2-3 lbs beef stew meet in 1 inch squares
2 Tbsp brown sugar
1 ½ tsp salt
1 ½ tsp ground Mustard
1 tsp paprika
½ tsp chili powder
¼ tsp pepper
1 lg onion- chopped
2 10 oz cans diced tomatoes
& green chilies
1 15 ½ oz can ranch style or
chili beans-undrained
1 15 ¼ oz can whole kernel
corn- drained
Place beef in 3 qt slow cooker. Combine
brown sugar, mustard, salt, paprika,
chili powder and pepper, sprinkle
over beef, toss to coat. Top with
remaining ingredients. Cover and
cook on low for 6-8 hrs or until
the meat is tender.

Well this is some good fall fare if you ask me. If you try these and like them....let me know. I will pass your praise onto the cooks and who knows....maybe they will guest again. And as always....we would love your comments and feel free to send me some of YOUR recipes and who knows...you may be one of our next guest cooks. Also....didn't think to mention this before, but if you send a picture of your dish, that would be truly awesome.

Here is to a wonderful Monday. Happy Monday everyone.

If That Was My Kid........

Another busy day in Lisaland. I am still working on making myself feel physically better. The headache is gone for the most part, but there are still remnants that keep rearing their ugly head and make me cringe thinking that it is going to be back in full force. So far...it just comes and goes.

Well, I was called on the carpet last week by several who felt that I had "woosed" out of ranting. Apparently to some....my full on ranting is not only appreciated but also looked forward to and when I hold back or don't rant....then there is some kind of cosmic disappointment. So not to disappoint anyone....here is today's rant.

We have all been in a store at some time and heard/seen/and heard some more.....the child who screams incessantly while mom tries to shop. For those without children, you can see the dirty looks given to both child and mom and you can just read the thoughts going through their ever so judgmental minds. "If that was my kid I would........" To them I ask......just WHAT would you do? You have a two year old who decides in the store to suddenly have a melt down because you said "NO!" to soda. You have a weeks worth of groceries to get and you are not relenting on the soda...so what do you do? Do you stop the grocery shopping and completely rearrange your already overfilled busy schedule just so you can take your child away from judgmental eyes? Do you give your child the soda so that they now know anytime they want something in public all they have to do is throw a fit and they will get it? Do you pick your child up right there in the store, spank him in front of everyone so that even more judgmental eyes will be on you and yes.....risk having the cops or SRS called for child abuse, OR.....do you tune your child out knowing that eventually he will tantrum himself out and finish doing what you have to do?

Any parent with kids has experienced a situation such as this and we all know that even the best of kids has a melt down from time to time and they are never in the convenience and privacy of our own home. On the contrary, they are in church just as Father is getting ready to give his sermon and you tell your child he can't jump off the pew, or at the doctors office when your child suddenly realizes where he is at and why, or.....in the grocery store where the shelves are filled with lots of goodies and Mom is saying "No!". It is not enough that we have a child who is turning red in the face, screaming and getting louder by the second, but now....we also have at least one pair of eyes on us letting us know that we are quite possibly the worst parents on the planet because our child chose this moment in their presence to become possessed by the terrible two's.

This last week I saw not one....but two cases of this and in both cases a poor mom was obviously made to feel crappy because of intolerance from what sure seemed like people who had never had kids but felt it was their place to judge those that did. The first incidence happened in one of our local grocery stores. I had run there for lunch to pick up a salad. A young mother had her daughter with her and had turned her back to check something out on the shelf. I watched as the little girl became enthralled with something she could not reach so she decided to try and stand up in the child seat. As she started to do this, I began to walk closer in order to catch the little girl or warn the mom or something. Just as the little girl got to full standing the mom turned around and grabbed her. She scolded the little girl and sat her down. The girl then started reaching for what had originally grabbed her attention....an end rack with a picture of Barbie on it. The mom said "No!" and immediately the little one burst into loud inconsolable tears screaming "Bobbie! Bobbie! I need's Bobbie!" The mother told her to hush but the little girl was having none of it and the tears and screams continued. Another woman, very well dressed was standing close by trying to read the labels on the boxes she was looking at. The young mother also was trying to read labels giving side glances to the child making sure she was no longer trying to stand. Periodically the child would let out a louder than normal scream for "Bobbie!" and then go back to her sobs and heart broken cries. The well dressed woman you could tell was getting very agitated. Another lady also reading labels parked her basket close by and soon the well dressed lady said very loudly and very rudely......"I need to know which of these has more fiber in them but I can't even hear myself think let alone concentrate on what I am reading. I think I will just be telling the manager I will take my business else where if this place is turning into a ghetto Walmart." The young mother never looked up but turned a bright shade of red as her daughter continued to mourn her lack of Barbie. The other lady looked shocked and walked up to the young mother putting her hand on her arm saying....."I've had kids. I've been there." She smiled at the mother and the little girl who immediately stopped crying with the distraction of this stranger talking to her mother. It was now the rude ladies turn to turn red. She looked at me as if to look for an ali in all of this and I just glared at her. She then swung her basket around and hurried off in the other direction. I smiled at the young mother and her now quiet child and walked off......wondering how some people find it so easy to be so rude?

The other incident happened today. I was actually in Walmart. There was a woman with three kids. One was about two, one was little more than a newborn and one was bout five. The two year old of course was having a major melt down. I could hear the child long before I saw the situation. The child was upset because the new baby was in "his" seat. He wanted to be in the part of the basket that the baby was in. It was pretty obvious that there was a little unrest in this family with the new arrival. The poor mom was trying to calm the uncalmable and even the older brother was trying to distract him, but neither was having any luck. The two year old in his tantrum was hitting the baby seat and the mom was trying to adjust it while keeping the tantruming two year old from falling over the edge of the basket. People were stopping and staring and one lady said loudly to the guy she was with, "Why don't these people keep their crying f***ing kids at home?" But with all the stares.....no one lifted a finger to help this poor mom. I pulled my basket up next to her (blocking the rude woman in) and asked the mother if I could help her. She looked apologetic and relieved all at the same time. I reached for the baby seat so that she could quiet the two year old and keep him from toppling forward. Much to my surprise, this mom did yank him out of the cart and swatted his behind right there in front of everyone. Immediately there was silence from everyone including the child. She told him she was going to put him back in the cart and he was going to sit down and behave and that was it. He did as he was told. Mom then took the baby seat from me and readjusted it all the while thanking me for my help. The rude lady watching the whole scene said to the guy...."did you see her hit him?" The guy said, "No...I saw her spank him. There is a big difference. And it worked because now he is quiet. "  I turned to the mother and said, "if more parents spanked their kids, I think the world would be a better place." The mom smiled and the lady I had blocked in huffed and shoved my basket so she could get out. Again....what are people thinking?

So I ask those of you who read this. The next time you are in the presence of a child's melt down, first of all....don't just assume it is bad parenting. Kids are kids and even the best parents kids will throw fits from time to time. Second....don't judge. Don't sit there and tell yourself that if it were your kid you would__________, because chances are if it were your kid........you would be doing just exactly what that poor parent is doing. You would be wondering how you could shut the child up short of muzzling him/her and wishing that all those judgmental eyes would stop staring. And finally.....if this child annoys you, walk away. If the parent spanks the child.....don't call it abuse (it is actually called discipline). And if the mother looks like she is going to drop the baby in her arms or the two year old is about to topple head first onto the ground.....it is perfectly okay to step in and help disaster be adverted.

You know it would be great if people remembered that no one is perfect, parenting is tough and sometimes we can all use a little more help and a little less judgment. So there you have it folks.....my rant for the day. Here is hoping that what is left of your Saturday is wonderful and stress free. Happy Saturday everyone.

Motherhood for Dummies.....The Prayer

I have often stated before that as parents...it is a learn as you go process. There are days that you breeze through, but for everyone of those days, there are ten more that you simply survive. Children are the greatest gift we can ever receive, but they are also a whole lot of work. From the moment we conceive them....until the day we die.....they are work. They are are not just an eighteen years sign-on. They are a lifetime sign-on as once they are ours, we never stop wondering, worrying and for many of us.....praying for the best for them. Never is there a night that goes by that before my head hits pillow....God doesn't hear from me.

All of this really got me to thinking. Back many, many, many, many.....well you get were I am going with this.....years ago, I had a college writing teacher who assigned us to write a prayer. Back then God and prayer were not dirty words even in college, but the assignment I remember was daunting as I was not very good at the whole prayer thing. I think it was probably too much thinking outside the box for me and probably also...not enough life experience to appreciate the power that prayer held. I have no idea where that prayer is, what it even said or what kind of a grade I got on it, but this morning the assignment came back to me. It occurred to me that there needs to be a parenting prayer. Okay..I am sure there are already lots of them out there, but I decided to try my hand at a Lisaland Motherhood version. So here is my assignment....many years over due, but with a whole lot more experience and life to pull from.

Motherhood for Dummies Prayer

Here I lay me down to sleep
I pray my children's souls that You will keep
Please give me strength
for sleepless nights
And give me courage
through teen year fights
Please help me Lord
to ease their pain
And in times of struggle
to not complain.
Please help me remember
my own young days
And know the difference
between truly bad and..... just a phase.
Help me to guide them
and teach them to pray
Let them know faith
and from You never stray
Please give me the strength
to let them stumble and fall
and give me the wisdom
to help them learn from it all
So dear Lord,
patient and kind
Please help me through motherhood
cause I'm flying blind!
Amen

Okay...so it wasn't Eliot or Plath, but I think the Man Upstairs might listen. After all it is from the heart and full of life experience. Here is praying that your Friday is struggle free and full of joy. Happy Friday everyone!!!!

I Do Not Heart Politics

Today is like or not to like day. I choose not to like. Perhaps it is because I feel really awful. A 36 hour blinding headache will do that for you. Maybe it is also because several people chose to visit my dreams last night that I am not a fan of. They caused issues in my dreams just like they do in my real life....imagine that!

So what do I not like today? I do not like politics. I especially do not like them going into a presidential election year. Politics used to be a way for two separate belief systems to express themselves and for the country to vote in the person they felt best for the job. Now a days though....politics has become a way for us to forget that regardless of our views....we are all still human beings. Democrats/liberals use politics as a way to call those who believe differently racists, religious nuts and elitists. Republicans/conservatives use politics as a way to call those who believe differently liars, unAmerican and socialists. It has become a school yard game of nastiness and hate and in it, we are teaching our young people to do the same.

When politics comes into play, it seems that we forget that people are more than there political beliefs. A friend and I were talking the other day. I told this friend that I have friends that range from the most dyed in the wool liberals to the most conservative of the conservative. When I speak to them or hang around them, my first thoughts about them are not their political affiliations. My thoughts are about who they are, how they have affected my life and how they fit into my world. The friend agreed saying that they didn't even know the political affiliation of most of their friends and didn't care. In the last decade they have been in zero political conversations with these people because they don't see friends as republicans or democrats, but as merely friends.

I make no bones about the fact that I am conservative. I am all that conservatism is about....and more. I am all for small government, lower taxes and the government not giving indefinite hand outs to those who refuse to work. I am pro-life, pro-gun and pro-God. However......I am not against gays in the military or gays marrying. I believe the war should end and our soldiers should be brought home. I believe that those in need should be helped, but should also be taught to help themselves. I believe in free enterprise and free speech. I believe our borders should be closed and illegals should be treated as criminals and not be given more benefits than even our own citizens are. I believe that animals should be protected, but not put above human life. I believe we should produce our own gas and oil and quit relying on the middle east. I believe that charity begins at home and instead of constantly giving other countries hand-outs and aide (natural disasters are not included in this) that we should be helping our own. I believe that government should slash their own paychecks and quit spending. I believe that we should be focusing on spending only that which is necessary and cutting back on or cutting out altogether that which are not an immediate need. I believe that ALL government offices should have term limits and that president should be a term of respect, not a term that we as a people are embarrassed to utter. I stand when the flag goes by, I am proud that my children not only know but still recite the Pledge of Allegiance and I firmly believe that we are all "one nation under God." So does this make me a liberal Republican, a conservative Democrat, a liberal conservative or does it simply make me a human being with my own thoughts and beliefs that yes.....they are part of who I am, but not the sum of all that I am?

I am sure my democrat/liberal friends could jump in here and tear me apart for any number of my beliefs and my republican/conservative friends could do the same. But I would hope that those of you who know me, know that while yes I do live my beliefs and am not afraid to back them up, also know that I don't disrespect those who believe differently than I do. I don't shut others down who respectfully express different opinions than I have and that I am always willing to listen and maybe even learn. That is what makes me not a political ideology......but a human being.

I have many friends with many strong political beliefs. I love you all regardless of where you fall politically. I just ask a favor of you all. This year, when you are standing on your political principals, please ask yourself when you start to throw the political mud 1) is this the time and place 2) am I helping my cause or simply making myself look narrow and ignorant 3) why do they believe the way they do? Could a little respectful education turn them around? 4) if I dive bomb them with my beliefs as if I am the only one who is right.....am I changing the world or their mind or am I just perpetuating what they already believe about me and 5) I am not talking to a lesser species.....I am talking to another human being and they deserve the same respect that I myself desire.

Life is too short to be angry and politics makes people angry. It makes people look at others negatively and tends to classify people in ways that never should be. If you speak out....speak with respect and conviction. If you are sure of where you stand and what you stand for, then you don't need to insult, belittle or bash someone else to prove your point. All you have to do is hold tight to what you know are truths. The rest will take care of itself.

So there you have it. Today's dislike. Now I think I will go back to nursing my headache. Hope you all have a pain free Thursday!

A Bona Fide Miracle

Normally I am pretty unconcerned with the comments on my blog. I feel like it is everyones right to have a say and I don't believe that everyone likes me or my blog and therefore....I don't feel that everyone has to appease me and make me think they do. However today.....I am asking that anyone who comments, if you comment to please be kind as although today is about me....it is more about my son who deserves nothing but happiness, joy and yes....kind comments. Tomorrow you can feel free to return to your regularly scheduled comments. :)

Today...even though the story is about me.....it was a no brainer, for on this day eleven years ago, I was blessed with an amazing miracle. I was blessed with David. He came into this world fighting and for the better part of five months....he lay between life and death. I had never known that someone could be beyond critical, but that was the state of David's life for what seemed like forever. I have told the story of David many times and if you would like to read it....here it is. Today though, I am going to share with you what David did for me.

Before David was born we were a typical family. We all had separate lives that every once in awhile intersected, but that is how we survived. I took care of the kids, Tim worked and the kids had their lives which whenever possible....did not include the entire family. When I found out I was pregnant, we were all overjoyed as I had months earlier suffered a very early miscarriage that had left me reeling. We were really hoping for a girl this time but when we found out it was to be another boy.....I was secretly relieved, as I had already raised or help raise several boys....so I kinda knew what I was doing. A girl I think might just have terrified my very existence.

This pregnancy was different than the rest. This one wiped me out. My bed and I spent a great deal of quality time together as I would work around the house for half an hour and lay down for an hour. My body felt done in. The upside was my then four year old Z and I got to spend a lot of time together. When Mama laid down, Z was right next to her. I never watched so much Sesame Street and Barnie in my life. The blessing was....it is still a time that both Z and I remember fondly as "our" time.

I was an average mom at the time. I was busy working two jobs and helping Tim cater. I managed to give the kids what they needed, but going above and beyond didn't happen much as there simply wasn't time. I took a lot for granted: kids crawling, walking, running, and eventually being independent. Life went by in such a blurr there was seldom time for me to think about blessings or be very grateful for what I had. I was just trying to get through the days and not fall on my face from exhaustion. Little did I know that my life would soon turn inside out and never.....ever.....be the same again.

When David arrived.....his life and mine were in grave danger, which explained the doctors and nurses standing around laughing and joking with me one minute and frantically getting me ready for surgery the next. Suddenly Tim and Z were being shoved out of my ER room and I was face to face with the head of the neonatal unit and her telling me that "if" my child survived he would be in her care. Twenty-seven weeks was so early and his chances were at the time....about 30%. Little did I know....nor am I sure would I have cared at that moment....but my own chances weren't very good either as I was bleeding internally and my hematacrit was 5 and going down. Poor Tim must have been terrified knowing that he could lose both his wife and son in a matter of minutes. It was something he never would talk about.

After David was born, it seemed like we were living in hell. After being given blood....I was up the next day walking back and forth to the NICU whenever they would let me. This was the first time I had heard the term beyond critical and I was afraid to leave his side. I was in love, terrified, and determined.....all at the same time. I was constantly cautioned that I was overdoing but I didn't care. If I was going to lose him....which I refused to do....I was going to be by his side. For those of you who do not believe in God, the power of prayer or faith.....I challenge you to go through a situation such as this and hold onto those non-beliefs. Because that time, in all of it's hell.....was wrapped in more blessings and miracles than anyone can imagine. It was such a unbelievable time that the neonatoligist a woman of pure science, who made no bones about her atheistic beliefs....told us the day that we walked out of  the hospital with him....that David was a bona fide miracle. Her exact words were....."too much went on with this case that was unexplainable and never should have happened. It is obviously that some Higher Power had a hand in your sons life." It was a WOW moment.

In those months waiting for him to turn a corner, waiting for him to breathe on his own, waiting to hear his little voice.....I found my family again. We stopped going in different directions as we were all now headed in one. We were all there for David. We all remembered that God gave us the greatest gift of all.....prayer and we used it to the fullest extent. I learned that my faith waned with exhaustion and fear, but Tim's burned with a fire I didn't know existed. He told me...."you have had all the faith in this relationship so far.....now it is time for me to have the faith for both of us." I saw a father that grew from this experience. No matter how tired he was after he worked his second shift job, he would head to the hospital and spend time with his child. And before he headed to work the next day....he was there again. The love and respect I gained for this man during this time was beyond belief.

My children were also amazing during this time. None felt slighted or jealous that mom and dad had to spend time at the hospital. Man Child stepped up to the plate and watched Z, kept the house clean and spent time at the hospital with me whenever he could. Z would always welcome me home with a hug and kiss and ask me how Baby David was doing. They were so good and I was so blessed.

During those months...... I was shaken to my vary core. I spent so much time on the NICU roller coaster ride. Things could change so quickly from bad to good and good to bad, we never knew what each day would hold. I learned to pray like I never prayed before. I learned that there are somethings in life that you simply have no control over. I learned that I did not pick out my husband....that God had picked him out and that God knew I would need him and no other man during this time in my life. I learned that faith is something that is not optional when you go through something like this, and I learned that God had blessed me with everyone and everything I needed to survive this time in my life.

The first five months of David's life set the stage for everything in his life to come. The fact that he survived the worst has made everything else.....acheiveable. Watching David grow I have learned to appreciate the things in life that I had always taken for granted. The normal milestones have become major accomplishments and I now see life through very different eyes. Davids birth was the beginning of many changes in my life. But David's life brought a strength to my life that I might not have had without him. I can honestly say that David changed my life in so many ways and brought me so many blessings that I never dreamed possible.

So today.....eleven years later.....I would like to wish my little man David, a very happy birthday. Thank you my wonderful son for all that you have brought to my life and all that you continue to bring. The doctor was right....you truly are a bona fide miracle and your mama loves you more than life itself!

Dating 101 or How to Find a Man in Lisaland.....Dating Site Crazy

Last week was an eye opener to me about the dating world. This is definitely not my mothers dating world. Heck...it isn't even my dating world. It is this strange place in the online world where scary people spend their time lying, trying to "hook up" (not actually date) and feel the need to send complete strangers pictures of their genetiles. Yeah...that is the week I had.

You know I have lived in the town I live in for the better part of 30 years. I have heard over and over that you can't find love where you live. Well, maybe not be at least in this town I know what I am getting. You know the guys that work hard, the ones that work too hard and the ones who don't work at all. You know the bikers, the bullies and the bullsh!tters. You know the ones who are really good and the ones who are really bad. You know the liars, the cheaters and the schemers. You know the sinners and the saints....and yes....my town has them all. But at least here....you know what you are getting. It is a whole new world on dating sites.

I belonged to three (3) dating sites for 9 days 13 hours 25 minutes and 15 seconds.....and then I was done. Now mind you, one of the sites was just an average site, one was the site where supposedly they checked you out right down to your blood type and asked you literally hundreds of questions and one.....was a Christian site. In those 9 days I had the date from hell, I had emails asking me information on my financial status, asking me if I was willing to have sex on the first date, asking me if I was willing to have a threesome with him and another supposed member, asking me if I was into bondage, and one asking me if I would do it with another woman so he could watch. Sadly....this was not even the worst of it. I also received two pictures of two different men's penises (neither of which I would have been putting on display), another picture which Guiness Book of World Records should be notified about, and a full frontal picture of a guy who obviously thought a picture of his nude body was an ice breaker to get to know me. In between all the fun dates, pornographic pictures and inquiring emails......I also got blasted by women from every directions. Apparently dating sites are dog eat dog....and the b!tches (trust me I don't use the word lightly) wanted these dogs for themselves. I got called every name you can imagine. I was told by some women to stay away from certain men (they were already someones property) and I was even propositioned by a woman. I guess the "searching for a man" alluded her.  It was a crazy world that this small town girl had no idea she was getting into.

Now I went into this thing fairly open minded and I do realize that these sites are only moderated to a point. If you get an interesting picture or message from someone, much like facebook you can report it, but undoubtedly little is done as two of the pictures were sent from men who had been members for over a year. I seriously doubt I was the first woman on the site who was given a peek at their goods. Perhaps if I was really desperate in finding someone, I would take the time to sift through all the crazies on there to find the ones who aren't. I am sure there are perfectly nice people there....but I don't have the time and after my 9 day stint....I don't have the desire either. The funny thing was......that before I started this whole internet dating thing....I had several people encourage me and tell me of their great experiences. Since though....I have had numerous people tell me of similar experiences as mine. Two people I know were even stalked by would be suitors....one ending in an arrest. In my life....I  have my own kind of insane chaos.....I don't need full on crazy to add to the mix.

Needless to say.....internet dating is not my thing. I am not sorry I tried it though. I did learn a lot and it was a good way to move forward in this whole dating thing. And no....I haven't given up on dating. If anything it has made me more determined to find someone who is only Lisaland crazy and not full tilt dating site insane. I am still confident they exist. My next big adventure will be the shooting range. Now more than ever it seems.....I have reason to take out my aggression with a firearm and ammunition. I still am in search of a good support group although my chosen group may have changed. Do they have a support group for those that have been traumatized by dating sites? Just askin'!

So here is hoping that this week is much better than last and that all of you have a truly wonderful Tuesday!