I Like Donating Life

Ahhh Thursday and To Like or Not to Like!!!! Today's is easy as I have been thinking about it for several days. Why? Because my mind works in many strange ways. When I look at something or someone...sometimes it sets off a chain reaction that makes me think of something else...which then makes me think of another something which in the end.....really has nothing to do with what I was originally thinking about. Yeah...I know! Scary!

You ready to hear the train of thought that got me to today's Like? Here goes. The other day I was at Walmart looking at iPod's (RIP Mr. Job) and as I did I was thinking that I was too old to be looking at "toys". This got me to thinking of Z...who should have been the one standing there drooling over these shiny, musical play things. For some reason at this point I wondered if he had taken his sophomore school pictures yet and what his school ID would look like this year since his hair is blond and short instead of long and black. This got me to thinking about his drivers license and wondering if he changed his appearance drastically like that if he would have to get a new license with a picture of how he currently looked? This then made me wonder if he had signed the back of his license to be a donor. From there I was thinking about someone who had once told me if you want to be a donor....never sign your license but put it in a living will. If you sign your license then they might let you die and use you as a donor when they could have saved you. I then thought....what a bunch of bull. Which then made me think of Tim (my late husband) who had NOT signed his license but had discussed his decision to be a donor with me...and upon his death I gave the go ahead for him to be a donor. Had I not been there though.......well that is kind of what this blog is about. All of this thinking just standing there in Walmart. Think how deep I might have gone had I been in a library. But I digress.

So today....I like (love) donors. We all know that all we have to do is sign the back of our drivers license and upon our death...if our organs are viable.....we can be donors. What does it mean to be a donor? It can mean a second chance at life  for someone or at the very least....a chance at a better life for someone. Whether it means a compatible heart or liver, or cornea's, bone or skin, these are all life changing donations for someone in need. And what does it mean for the organs to be viable? It means that major organs such as heart, liver, lungs, kidney's etc......have to be harvested while they are still living and healthy. Often the donor is put on or kept on life support until said organs have been removed. Other donations such as skin, bone and cornea's can be removed and used within a certain amount of time after death.

It is obvious what use the major organs can be to someone. They can literally save a life and add years that someone might not have had otherwise. Other donations though such as bone, cornea and skin might not be life saving but could definitely be life altering such as helping someone to see again, walk or move properly or start repairing damage from a burn or accident. In a certain way...the donor literally continues to live on through others. What an amazing gift.

In our situation, Tim had not signed his drivers license. I have no idea why, but he had said on more than one occasion that he wanted to be a donor. I knew those were his wishes. When I came home to find Tim, he had been gone for several hours. The major organs were no longer viable and so I assumed his being a donor was out of the question. When the coroner finally came though....they asked me if he was a donor. I said yes but I had no idea he had at that point....anything donatable. I was wrong. We donated skin, bone and his corneas. In a way....it felt as if Tim had done so much for so many in life.....and now....even in death he would continue to help others. It was one of the few things that helped me to survive the nightmare of losing him.

On the day of Tim's funeral after everyone had left....I got a call. It was a young woman whom I only casually knew, but she knew of Tim's death. She had ties to the local organ bank and although she was not suppose to tell me....she let me know that Tim's cornea's had been transplanted that day into a man....just about Tim's age.....who would now be able to see thanks to Tim. I cried! My beautiful, wonderful husband was living on and continuing to help others. It was amazing and helped to make one of the worst days of my life...just a little better.

Blessedly, I nor my family has never needed any sort of organ donations.....although David and I both went through blood like a couple of vampires after he was born. I hope though...if the need ever does arrive, someone as caring and wonderful as my Tim has either singed their drivers license or made their wishes known loud and clear, so through them....life may continue for others. If you have any questions....or would simply like to know more about organ donation head on over to Organ Donation America and learn what donation can mean for both you and others.

So there you have it. Today....I like organ donation and now you know a little more about the really scary inner workings of my mind. Hope you have a great day and Happy Thursday everyone!

160 Acres...and Me

Here we go again. It is Wednesday and I am struggling. What to say about me????? Well...today I thought I would share with you a place that holds me so tightly and to this day I can tear up thinking about it. I actually had put this place to the back of my mind until the other day when one of my cousins brought it up. I immediately went back to a time and a place which in it's own way....was integral in making me who I am today.

The family which I come from is different in many ways. My mother was the youngest of eleven children and her family grew up dirt poor post WWI through the 1950's. During that time, the world changed immensely but some things never changed and one of those was their home. They lived on 160 acres of dry, red Oklahoma clay. The house had started out as part of a log cabin and as the years went on and the family grew, additions were put on. In it's final stages, the house had a large kitchen, a small enclosed back porch, one (1) small bathroom with only a shower, sink and toilet, a living room and three bedrooms. There were little coal heaters and no air conditioning what so ever. In the winter the house was so poorly insulated that ice formed on the inside of the windows and the wind blew through the unsealed cracks. In the summer windows were open leaving the house prey to Oklahoma insects (centipedes, scorpions, assorted spiders and other flying beasts) and the ever present Oklahoma red dirt dust that flew every time the wind blew. Through all it's constructional frailties....this house was a fortress and held this family together sending each of the children out into the world with either a college degree, military service, marriage or all the above. In those walls the family was a tightly knit unit....but because of their upbringing or maybe the desire to get beyond those 160 acres there was no reuniting for holidays, birthdays and not a lot of reunions when I was growing up. Still...in all our minds, that plot of land with the little house, barn and run down out buildings was a connection we all had.

I remember as a very young child making the trip from Kansas to Oklahoma was exciting for me. It meant climbing in my aunt's teal Pontiac station wagon (she also lived in Kansas) with my mom, brother and cousins and making the 2 1/2 drive to visit my grandpa. (My grandmother sadly died when I was two). The trip always took much longer than the 2 1/2 hours as we stopped at Nickerson Farms for breakfast and spent lots of time looking at their bees which they kept and then of course milling through the gift shop was a must. Once on the road again....there were always bathroom breaks (hello...they were traveling with at least 4 kids at any given time). This was always so exciting and fun for me. Once we got there though.....there was always avoiding Grandpa's dogs (Bruno or King or whichever dog was currently residing with him). None of his dogs ever seemed to like kids so we had to be cautious. Then we would spend time in the old house freezing or suffocating (depending on the time of year), nosing through old pictures, snooping in drawers and entertaining our selves in the back bedroom while the adults laughed and visited in the kitchen.

It was always a thrill for us kids and regardless where in line as a grand kid you fell...you remember.... Grandpa going out to call his cows in from the pasture to eat. Grandpa would yell "Boss...Boss!" and the cows would come running. The barn they came home to was a huge old thing that "I" was never allowed to go near because of creaky boards, snakes and assorted other possible horrors that my mother was sure lurked there, but my older cousins that were more farm savvy than myself loved the place. Man how I longed for just one afternoon sitting in the barn loft looking out over the farm. In my mind....I would have even braved the snakes.

Even on the hottest afternoons, sitting out under the huge trees that grew in Grandpa's yard...you could always find a breeze and many was the time we all shared that yard. Again....Mom was not too trusting of us kids being allowed to roam freely on the vast acres that constantly beckoned us to come explore. Her cautionary nature did not see kids running and playing in the fields....it saw a road (though not busy) in one direction, a canyon in another and Grandpa's bull in yet another. Mixed in were farm vermin right and left which about put Mom over the edge as her father and siblings ribbed her over her extreme caution. At the time I felt suffocated but now....doing it by myself and being solely responsible for the young lives God entrusted me with.....I sort of understand Mom's phobias a bit better.

As I grew older, my Aunt Margaret moved out to the house to help take care of Grandpa and to be in the one place she loved more than life itself. Going to the house then was much more pleasant. Aunt Margaret redid part of the house, the furniture was more comfortable and the bathroom no longer creeped me out. By this time the dogs were friendlier and it seemed that either we came to the farm more or the rest of the family did.... as it was the place to get together and hang with cousins I rarely got to see and get to know aunts and uncles who until now were just names. It also seemed that the older I got the longer our visits were. I think it was quite possibly Mom's realization that "home" really was where the heart was at and that her fathers life was winding down. It was at this time that I became so in tune to the house and the farm. Many an afternoon I spent sitting in the front yard at the picnic table writing. I tried to imagine the farm alive with kids and animals. In my mind I pictured the garden, the pig pens and the lilac bushes that Mom always talked about. I also thought of my Grandpa when we weren't all there.....sitting in the front yard waiting for the dirt to roll up on the old dirt road signaling a visitor or just a passerby. Was he lonely or was he content with the memories of his life?

I also spent a great deal of time trying to imagine the grandmother that I never got to know. My older cousins would talk of her and I sat jealously by listening to their stories wishing I had seen this woman, touched her over worked hand or heard her gentle laugh. My mother spoke of her mother is the most wonderful way and from time to time would break down in tears missing her and wishing that she still had her mama to turn to. Again....I understand this far better than I wish I did. One evening I wrote an amazing story (amazing to me anyway) sitting in that old farm kitchen and trying to imagine that little lady (she was 4'11") bustling about and taking care of her family. The story was about her, seeing only me and her perception of who I turned out to be. At the time I was still in my late teens and had yet to really become anyone....but I knew in her eyes....if she had been there.....I would have been special....just like all her other grand kids.

As I became a young adult....the farm became my refuge. My grandfather died on my 21st birthday, but my dear aunt stayed there keeping the place comfortable and welcoming for all who wished to visit. Often I would just get in the car and drive. In a strange sort of way....even though I had never lived there....it was home to me. The barn was now gone as a tornado had damaged it beyond repair along with many other buildings. Also gone was the bull. I was well aware of the canyon and the road....so I was now free to roam those acres that had once been forbidden to me. I would walk that farm and the pasture knowing that not one spot of ground was foreign to me, for at some point my mother, her siblings, my grandparents and assorted other relatives and trodden every inch of that land. It was a part of me....but what was more....it was a part of all of us. Every Dougherty/Etier that came from the union of Ray and Grace ....it was a part of us, and it was an amazing feeling. It was ours!

Later....Aunt Margaret began to go down hill and she could no longer live on her own. My mom and aunt brought her to Kansas and the farm lay empty. The house though checked on by other local relatives regularly could easily fall prey to anyone who knew the family situation. It was decided that the farm would be sold and the house and its contents auctioned off. When I heard this.....I cried. My husband had no idea why a piece of property could hold such emotion....especially one where I had only visited but never lived. He had no idea that the house and the farm held so much of who I am and where I came from. He didn't understand the bond I had with the house, the land and the memories. It was one of the most overwhelming feelings I had ever had to that point.

The day of the auction....we were all invited. We could bid on anything we wanted. Tim offered to take me, but I couldn't. I hadn't been there since Aunt Margaret was there....and I couldn't go back and see the house empty. I preferred to keep my memories in tact. From what I understand....many of my cousins felt the same.

After the auction....the new owners eventually raised the house (a landmark since the early 1900's) and put a new home on the land. The 160 acres were also a thing of the past as the land had been sold off in parcels. Now....so I am told....it is just a little house on a little piece of land...in the country. In just a short period of time....all signs of the Dougherty place were gone. I have no first hand knowledge of any of this as I have not been back since 1994. I have though talked to my cousins about the farm. Their memories, like mine are a mix of Grandpa standing in the yard and calling the cows, the dinners around the kitchen table, the summer afternoons in the yard and the knowledge that we would always have that farm......until we didn't. 

Yes....this place was special to me. It was a part of me and I have unimaginable sorrow that my own children will never know the place. It was a blessing though to have such special times with family and to be so connected with so many to a little 160 acre farm in the red dirt of Oklahoma. I wouldn't trade those memories for anything....and now........you know a little more about me!

Hope you have a wonderful and memorable Wednesday. Happy Wednesday everyone!!!

Dating 101 or How to Find a Man in Lisaland....Need vs. Want

And so begins another behind day in Lisaland. Actually it began hours ago and I am just now having the time to blog. So this month is filled with a lot of strange emotions for me. For one...my birthday is this month and this is the last year in my forties (go ahead....you do the math). In some ways I feel better than I ever have and in some ways....not so much. My journey this year...and of late (the whole dating thing) has taught me some interesting things and lucky you.....you get to read while I sort out my crazy brain in this blog.  Here goes!

I have learned that deciding to date again and "needing" to date again are two vastly different things. There is a whole world out there obsessed with needing someone in order to be whole. I am already whole. I don't need someone to make my world...I simply need someone to compliment it. I have discovered that I am a very strong woman....I don't need to be held up or taken care of. I am very competent (there are a few of you who can shut up right now!). I can pay my own bills and see that my children and myself are taken care of. I can make the easy decisions and the really hard decisions and when life turns upside down (as it tends to from time to time) I am capable of setting things right again. I can look in the mirror and know that the person looking back has proven time and again that she can do it on her own and for the most part....does it quite nicely.

So once you know the difference between deciding to date and needing to date, that makes the whole experience much easier. Since there is no need I can now concentrate fully on the wants. I want a man who is a man. I want a man who wants a real woman and isn't trying to relive his youth with some unattainable and unrealistic version of a twenty something fantasy. I want real. I want hard working, hard playing and hard loving. I want someone who loves my kids not because he has to....but because he wants to. I want someone whose world gets better when I smile and who gives me butterflies whenever I think of him. I want the hand holding and the kissing. I want the laughter and I want someone there who lets me know that just because I can do it all by myself.....doesn't mean I have to. 

Yes...I know.....this is some pretty deep thinking for a Tuesday...especially when I am running behind, but it is what it is. So now that I have come to these realizations.....some very definite decisions have formed. With all that I have discovered that I do want....what I don't want or need are dating sites. I simply want nature to take its course. I firmly believe that if it is meant to be....it will be and it won't be when I am running after it. It will happen...as it always does, when I least expect it and from someone that I never saw coming. And honestly isn't life great like that? There is nothing better than the good surprises life affords you when you quit waiting for life to happen and start making it happen yourself.

Never fear....I will still keep you updated on the possibilities.....the thoughts and the self education that I continue to obtain, but I am afraid the dating sites and all that goes with them will no longer have a place in Lisaland. And on that note....I hope your day  is bright, wonderful and heading in a positive direction. Happy Tuesday everyone!

I Hang My Head in Shame

I had six emails and three fb messages asking me where I was yesterday. Thank you folks...it is nice to be missed. I was dealing with another brutal headache yesterday. It was my worst one so far and I could barely look at the computer, let alone type. I just gave it up for the day. Yep...that is right. I missed a day of blogging. It is my first one since the middle of February. I hang my head in shame. Thankfully today I feel a bit better, but still know that little headache sucker is lurking. I have a doctors appointment tomorrow and am hoping I can get to the bottom of this. Three weeks is way too much to time to be dealing with this stuff and when it cuts into my blogging.....not just NO....but HELL NO!

This week in My Favorite Recipes....I am sharing recipes from some friends. One is from a friend who I have known for years. She is the epitome of home cooking. Her recipes are highly sought after....and to actually have her make those recipes for you....is to die for. I dearly love my Marni and I love....love...love her recipes. I am sure you are too are going to make Marni's Chicken Enchilada's a family favorite.

The second recipe if from a friend who is very dear to me and whom I had the pleasure of seeing again at Old Settlers this year. She and her husband played a big part in my life when my husband Tim was alive and I don't honestly think anyone has ever made me laugh harder than she does. Along with her skills at making me laugh.....she also is a wonderful cook as her recipe for Robin's Crockpot Cheese Corn will be a testament to.

The final guest recipe (yes I am treating you to three this week) is from a woman whom I have only recently gotten to know through facebook, but who has lived in my small town for many years. She is a busy IV nurse and she spends much of her time traveling but obviously she isn't too shabby in the kitchen as her recipe for Donna's Chili Stew sounds like a winner to me. I had every intention of trying it this weekend, but of course.....we all know how that worked out for me. Donna also has a blog which I would love to read of. If you would like to become a Donna fan....you too can visit her blog and show her some love.

So without further ado....let's get these recipes started.

Marni's Chicken Enchilada

Whole chicken.....boil and pick meat off....(or like me I just use chicken breast)
2 cans of Cream of Chicken soup
1 can of Rotel Tomatoes (this is where you can make it mild or really spicy)
... Shredded Cheddar cheese (as much or as little as you want)
3 cups of rice

Mix the soup, rotel, and pieces of chicken together.......cook the rice

Layer
rice........chicken mixture....cheese.....again

bake 350 for 30 minutes or until heated through. Serve with sour cream.



Robin's Crockpot Cheese Corn

40 oz frozen corn

small can chopped green chilis

lrg jar of cheese whiz w/ jalepenos or mexican velveeta

16 oz container Sour Cream and chive dip..

put all together in crockpot and cook on low for 3 hours or high for 1 hour and a half..

Donna's Chili Stew

2-3 lbs beef stew meet in 1 inch squares
2 Tbsp brown sugar
1 ½ tsp salt
1 ½ tsp ground Mustard
1 tsp paprika
½ tsp chili powder
¼ tsp pepper
1 lg onion- chopped
2 10 oz cans diced tomatoes
& green chilies
1 15 ½ oz can ranch style or
chili beans-undrained
1 15 ¼ oz can whole kernel
corn- drained
Place beef in 3 qt slow cooker. Combine
brown sugar, mustard, salt, paprika,
chili powder and pepper, sprinkle
over beef, toss to coat. Top with
remaining ingredients. Cover and
cook on low for 6-8 hrs or until
the meat is tender.

Well this is some good fall fare if you ask me. If you try these and like them....let me know. I will pass your praise onto the cooks and who knows....maybe they will guest again. And as always....we would love your comments and feel free to send me some of YOUR recipes and who knows...you may be one of our next guest cooks. Also....didn't think to mention this before, but if you send a picture of your dish, that would be truly awesome.

Here is to a wonderful Monday. Happy Monday everyone.

If That Was My Kid........

Another busy day in Lisaland. I am still working on making myself feel physically better. The headache is gone for the most part, but there are still remnants that keep rearing their ugly head and make me cringe thinking that it is going to be back in full force. So far...it just comes and goes.

Well, I was called on the carpet last week by several who felt that I had "woosed" out of ranting. Apparently to some....my full on ranting is not only appreciated but also looked forward to and when I hold back or don't rant....then there is some kind of cosmic disappointment. So not to disappoint anyone....here is today's rant.

We have all been in a store at some time and heard/seen/and heard some more.....the child who screams incessantly while mom tries to shop. For those without children, you can see the dirty looks given to both child and mom and you can just read the thoughts going through their ever so judgmental minds. "If that was my kid I would........" To them I ask......just WHAT would you do? You have a two year old who decides in the store to suddenly have a melt down because you said "NO!" to soda. You have a weeks worth of groceries to get and you are not relenting on the soda...so what do you do? Do you stop the grocery shopping and completely rearrange your already overfilled busy schedule just so you can take your child away from judgmental eyes? Do you give your child the soda so that they now know anytime they want something in public all they have to do is throw a fit and they will get it? Do you pick your child up right there in the store, spank him in front of everyone so that even more judgmental eyes will be on you and yes.....risk having the cops or SRS called for child abuse, OR.....do you tune your child out knowing that eventually he will tantrum himself out and finish doing what you have to do?

Any parent with kids has experienced a situation such as this and we all know that even the best of kids has a melt down from time to time and they are never in the convenience and privacy of our own home. On the contrary, they are in church just as Father is getting ready to give his sermon and you tell your child he can't jump off the pew, or at the doctors office when your child suddenly realizes where he is at and why, or.....in the grocery store where the shelves are filled with lots of goodies and Mom is saying "No!". It is not enough that we have a child who is turning red in the face, screaming and getting louder by the second, but now....we also have at least one pair of eyes on us letting us know that we are quite possibly the worst parents on the planet because our child chose this moment in their presence to become possessed by the terrible two's.

This last week I saw not one....but two cases of this and in both cases a poor mom was obviously made to feel crappy because of intolerance from what sure seemed like people who had never had kids but felt it was their place to judge those that did. The first incidence happened in one of our local grocery stores. I had run there for lunch to pick up a salad. A young mother had her daughter with her and had turned her back to check something out on the shelf. I watched as the little girl became enthralled with something she could not reach so she decided to try and stand up in the child seat. As she started to do this, I began to walk closer in order to catch the little girl or warn the mom or something. Just as the little girl got to full standing the mom turned around and grabbed her. She scolded the little girl and sat her down. The girl then started reaching for what had originally grabbed her attention....an end rack with a picture of Barbie on it. The mom said "No!" and immediately the little one burst into loud inconsolable tears screaming "Bobbie! Bobbie! I need's Bobbie!" The mother told her to hush but the little girl was having none of it and the tears and screams continued. Another woman, very well dressed was standing close by trying to read the labels on the boxes she was looking at. The young mother also was trying to read labels giving side glances to the child making sure she was no longer trying to stand. Periodically the child would let out a louder than normal scream for "Bobbie!" and then go back to her sobs and heart broken cries. The well dressed woman you could tell was getting very agitated. Another lady also reading labels parked her basket close by and soon the well dressed lady said very loudly and very rudely......"I need to know which of these has more fiber in them but I can't even hear myself think let alone concentrate on what I am reading. I think I will just be telling the manager I will take my business else where if this place is turning into a ghetto Walmart." The young mother never looked up but turned a bright shade of red as her daughter continued to mourn her lack of Barbie. The other lady looked shocked and walked up to the young mother putting her hand on her arm saying....."I've had kids. I've been there." She smiled at the mother and the little girl who immediately stopped crying with the distraction of this stranger talking to her mother. It was now the rude ladies turn to turn red. She looked at me as if to look for an ali in all of this and I just glared at her. She then swung her basket around and hurried off in the other direction. I smiled at the young mother and her now quiet child and walked off......wondering how some people find it so easy to be so rude?

The other incident happened today. I was actually in Walmart. There was a woman with three kids. One was about two, one was little more than a newborn and one was bout five. The two year old of course was having a major melt down. I could hear the child long before I saw the situation. The child was upset because the new baby was in "his" seat. He wanted to be in the part of the basket that the baby was in. It was pretty obvious that there was a little unrest in this family with the new arrival. The poor mom was trying to calm the uncalmable and even the older brother was trying to distract him, but neither was having any luck. The two year old in his tantrum was hitting the baby seat and the mom was trying to adjust it while keeping the tantruming two year old from falling over the edge of the basket. People were stopping and staring and one lady said loudly to the guy she was with, "Why don't these people keep their crying f***ing kids at home?" But with all the stares.....no one lifted a finger to help this poor mom. I pulled my basket up next to her (blocking the rude woman in) and asked the mother if I could help her. She looked apologetic and relieved all at the same time. I reached for the baby seat so that she could quiet the two year old and keep him from toppling forward. Much to my surprise, this mom did yank him out of the cart and swatted his behind right there in front of everyone. Immediately there was silence from everyone including the child. She told him she was going to put him back in the cart and he was going to sit down and behave and that was it. He did as he was told. Mom then took the baby seat from me and readjusted it all the while thanking me for my help. The rude lady watching the whole scene said to the guy...."did you see her hit him?" The guy said, "No...I saw her spank him. There is a big difference. And it worked because now he is quiet. "  I turned to the mother and said, "if more parents spanked their kids, I think the world would be a better place." The mom smiled and the lady I had blocked in huffed and shoved my basket so she could get out. Again....what are people thinking?

So I ask those of you who read this. The next time you are in the presence of a child's melt down, first of all....don't just assume it is bad parenting. Kids are kids and even the best parents kids will throw fits from time to time. Second....don't judge. Don't sit there and tell yourself that if it were your kid you would__________, because chances are if it were your kid........you would be doing just exactly what that poor parent is doing. You would be wondering how you could shut the child up short of muzzling him/her and wishing that all those judgmental eyes would stop staring. And finally.....if this child annoys you, walk away. If the parent spanks the child.....don't call it abuse (it is actually called discipline). And if the mother looks like she is going to drop the baby in her arms or the two year old is about to topple head first onto the ground.....it is perfectly okay to step in and help disaster be adverted.

You know it would be great if people remembered that no one is perfect, parenting is tough and sometimes we can all use a little more help and a little less judgment. So there you have it folks.....my rant for the day. Here is hoping that what is left of your Saturday is wonderful and stress free. Happy Saturday everyone.

Motherhood for Dummies.....The Prayer

I have often stated before that as parents...it is a learn as you go process. There are days that you breeze through, but for everyone of those days, there are ten more that you simply survive. Children are the greatest gift we can ever receive, but they are also a whole lot of work. From the moment we conceive them....until the day we die.....they are work. They are are not just an eighteen years sign-on. They are a lifetime sign-on as once they are ours, we never stop wondering, worrying and for many of us.....praying for the best for them. Never is there a night that goes by that before my head hits pillow....God doesn't hear from me.

All of this really got me to thinking. Back many, many, many, many.....well you get were I am going with this.....years ago, I had a college writing teacher who assigned us to write a prayer. Back then God and prayer were not dirty words even in college, but the assignment I remember was daunting as I was not very good at the whole prayer thing. I think it was probably too much thinking outside the box for me and probably also...not enough life experience to appreciate the power that prayer held. I have no idea where that prayer is, what it even said or what kind of a grade I got on it, but this morning the assignment came back to me. It occurred to me that there needs to be a parenting prayer. Okay..I am sure there are already lots of them out there, but I decided to try my hand at a Lisaland Motherhood version. So here is my assignment....many years over due, but with a whole lot more experience and life to pull from.

Motherhood for Dummies Prayer

Here I lay me down to sleep
I pray my children's souls that You will keep
Please give me strength
for sleepless nights
And give me courage
through teen year fights
Please help me Lord
to ease their pain
And in times of struggle
to not complain.
Please help me remember
my own young days
And know the difference
between truly bad and..... just a phase.
Help me to guide them
and teach them to pray
Let them know faith
and from You never stray
Please give me the strength
to let them stumble and fall
and give me the wisdom
to help them learn from it all
So dear Lord,
patient and kind
Please help me through motherhood
cause I'm flying blind!
Amen

Okay...so it wasn't Eliot or Plath, but I think the Man Upstairs might listen. After all it is from the heart and full of life experience. Here is praying that your Friday is struggle free and full of joy. Happy Friday everyone!!!!

I Do Not Heart Politics

Today is like or not to like day. I choose not to like. Perhaps it is because I feel really awful. A 36 hour blinding headache will do that for you. Maybe it is also because several people chose to visit my dreams last night that I am not a fan of. They caused issues in my dreams just like they do in my real life....imagine that!

So what do I not like today? I do not like politics. I especially do not like them going into a presidential election year. Politics used to be a way for two separate belief systems to express themselves and for the country to vote in the person they felt best for the job. Now a days though....politics has become a way for us to forget that regardless of our views....we are all still human beings. Democrats/liberals use politics as a way to call those who believe differently racists, religious nuts and elitists. Republicans/conservatives use politics as a way to call those who believe differently liars, unAmerican and socialists. It has become a school yard game of nastiness and hate and in it, we are teaching our young people to do the same.

When politics comes into play, it seems that we forget that people are more than there political beliefs. A friend and I were talking the other day. I told this friend that I have friends that range from the most dyed in the wool liberals to the most conservative of the conservative. When I speak to them or hang around them, my first thoughts about them are not their political affiliations. My thoughts are about who they are, how they have affected my life and how they fit into my world. The friend agreed saying that they didn't even know the political affiliation of most of their friends and didn't care. In the last decade they have been in zero political conversations with these people because they don't see friends as republicans or democrats, but as merely friends.

I make no bones about the fact that I am conservative. I am all that conservatism is about....and more. I am all for small government, lower taxes and the government not giving indefinite hand outs to those who refuse to work. I am pro-life, pro-gun and pro-God. However......I am not against gays in the military or gays marrying. I believe the war should end and our soldiers should be brought home. I believe that those in need should be helped, but should also be taught to help themselves. I believe in free enterprise and free speech. I believe our borders should be closed and illegals should be treated as criminals and not be given more benefits than even our own citizens are. I believe that animals should be protected, but not put above human life. I believe we should produce our own gas and oil and quit relying on the middle east. I believe that charity begins at home and instead of constantly giving other countries hand-outs and aide (natural disasters are not included in this) that we should be helping our own. I believe that government should slash their own paychecks and quit spending. I believe that we should be focusing on spending only that which is necessary and cutting back on or cutting out altogether that which are not an immediate need. I believe that ALL government offices should have term limits and that president should be a term of respect, not a term that we as a people are embarrassed to utter. I stand when the flag goes by, I am proud that my children not only know but still recite the Pledge of Allegiance and I firmly believe that we are all "one nation under God." So does this make me a liberal Republican, a conservative Democrat, a liberal conservative or does it simply make me a human being with my own thoughts and beliefs that yes.....they are part of who I am, but not the sum of all that I am?

I am sure my democrat/liberal friends could jump in here and tear me apart for any number of my beliefs and my republican/conservative friends could do the same. But I would hope that those of you who know me, know that while yes I do live my beliefs and am not afraid to back them up, also know that I don't disrespect those who believe differently than I do. I don't shut others down who respectfully express different opinions than I have and that I am always willing to listen and maybe even learn. That is what makes me not a political ideology......but a human being.

I have many friends with many strong political beliefs. I love you all regardless of where you fall politically. I just ask a favor of you all. This year, when you are standing on your political principals, please ask yourself when you start to throw the political mud 1) is this the time and place 2) am I helping my cause or simply making myself look narrow and ignorant 3) why do they believe the way they do? Could a little respectful education turn them around? 4) if I dive bomb them with my beliefs as if I am the only one who is right.....am I changing the world or their mind or am I just perpetuating what they already believe about me and 5) I am not talking to a lesser species.....I am talking to another human being and they deserve the same respect that I myself desire.

Life is too short to be angry and politics makes people angry. It makes people look at others negatively and tends to classify people in ways that never should be. If you speak out....speak with respect and conviction. If you are sure of where you stand and what you stand for, then you don't need to insult, belittle or bash someone else to prove your point. All you have to do is hold tight to what you know are truths. The rest will take care of itself.

So there you have it. Today's dislike. Now I think I will go back to nursing my headache. Hope you all have a pain free Thursday!