Monday, May 28, 2012

The Three Day Rule

It has been awhile since last I blogged. Almost two weeks to be exact. I am sitting outside in MO and enjoying my last night here. I am watching a hummingbird sip from a feeder and listening to the sounds that can only be heard in a rural setting. The birds are chirping in the muggy heat  and the evening sky holds a haze which is a mixture of burning and humidity. The breeze from the day has settled into stillness and for the first time in a awhile....I am alone with my thoughts. This trip has definitely been one for the record books.

My boys and I are our own kind of crazy. We have our routines and we have our non-routines! You take us on the road and you have a special kind of crazy that not everyone (even family) knows how to take. Mind you...we are aware of our craziness and we are also aware that moving in on others for several days is a lot to handle. We try our hardest to be respectful and helpful and always show our "traveling" manners but sometimes the crazy just seeps out.

When my dear sweet husband was alive...he was full of words of wisdom. Like any adoring wife....I ignored most of them or rolled my eyes...but as time has passed, some of those words have proven to ring true. One of Tim's favorite things to pass along to all who would listen and also something he lived by matter how close you were to someone outside your immediate family (be it family or friends) if you were going to go visiting....there should always be a "three day rule." The three day rule was based on the number of days you should stay with others. It went like this: The first day everyone is happy and excited to see each other and everyone gets along great. Day two is still fairly comfortable but when someone eats someone elses cookie, leaves their stuff in the wrong place or leaves all the work for the host or hostess.....the smiles get strained. By day three...the host/hostess wants their house back and the visitors are longing for home and in order to keep the friendship/kinship in tact.....there just should NOT be a day four.

In all our years together....I don't believe Tim, I and the kids ever stayed with family or friends longer than three days and always by day three....home looked really good. Apparently though.....with age...I have lost my mind! I decided that I really needed a break and that a few extra days would not hurt when visiting. Boy was I wrong! Now don't get me wrong. I don't really blame anyone here. It was just poor judgment on my part as my family's craziness is not really that much fun in a long term setting. Add to that, poor David still healing from his surgery and not feeling the best and it set the stage for some interesting times.

Looking back at our stay and pulling only the good from it, I have to say that was good. Z got some great fishing time in with his uncle, David got attention from Grandma and all sorts of aunts, uncles and cousins and I got some time where I didn't feel I had to do it all by myself. I also learned a lot about myself, the choices I make and the way I tend to handle situations. I was sick most of my trip this time (allergies apparently attacked me the minute I crossed the KS/MO border) and I am sure my temperament left much to be desired. Add to that the fact that David woke up anywhere from 6-8 times a night...causing me sleep deprivation.... and the fact that my mouth filter is all but non-existent and this trip ended up proving the tremendous resiliency of the entire family.

The truth is...we have a really great MO family. Even through the allergic haze, the sleepless delirium and my less than stellar moments, the trip has ended with with us all still speaking (I think!) and an invitation to come back at the end of June for David's next appointment.Trust me...that could have gone a completely different way.

So as the sun fully sets, the yard lights begin to flicker on and the lightening bugs begin to dot the air, I realize that I will miss these nights. The nights of sitting up til midnight in the yard just visiting; the nights of playing washer toss with family and the nights of just enjoying the peacefulness that is rural MO.

We know we always have a home here (temporary though it maybe), but next time for everyone sake....I think we will simply go back to the three day rule and keep everyone's sanity in tact!

1 comment:

MarniJ said...

Im just sitting here laughing....we have the same rule!!!