Debbie Downer, A Man and Happy Toes

Ummm....well....yesterday I was a bit of a Debbie Downer. Heck going back and reading yesterdays blog today....was depressing all over again. Luckily, a drs. visit, a good nights sleep and morning sunshine have given me a better perspective today. That and.....I get to go out tonight!!!!! You simply have no idea how much I need this. I am thinking that some time with friends and just getting to have a little fun are going to be just what the dr. ordered.

Last nights house full of boys went over just fine as usual. I am thinking that Z is working it so that EVERY Friday night is going to be "house full of boys night!" They usually congregate here after school, hangout, sing, eat, play video games and then go karaoke. David and I do our own thing and the two worlds seldom meet. So far all has gone well so I don't have any real problems with everyone being here. They all know my rules and as long as no one runs afoul of the law (ME) then I will consider allowing this to be a weekly thing. After all.....at least here....I know what they are doing on a Friday night.

David did get into the dr. yesterday and as suspected....his ear was red. They didn't go so far as to say it was an ear infection....but it was definitely red inside. He does however have a sinus infection and they immediately started him on antibiotics. The dr. said he was good to go for school....so school it was. Having the dr. say there was no reason he couldn't go to school made me feel so much better and whole lot less like the worst mother in the world.

Apparently several read yesterdays blog and took it as I need a man rather than I need help! lol I got a couple of emails stating that perhaps I should put myself back on the market. WHAT MARKET? Is there a market for middle aged women, battling the bulge, gray hair and sagging everything? If there is.....where is it? Do they accept women who have enough baggage to fill an entire Grey Hound bus and who have a snarky attitude? Cause this market I have not seen. I don't quite see myself as the catch I was say twenty years ago, nor do I believe men day dream about a woman like me. Now don't get me wrong. I am not self-bashing here. I am being realistic. I definitely have my good points and some days I clean up okay. I also have a personality that is not without its charms. I have my humorous moments and people are usually not bored around me, but the fact is......my life is not easy. My life is one that takes a lot of energy, determination and a definite sense of humor. I don't know a lot of guys that at this stage of life are too exited to take on me, my life or my issues.  Most at this stage of life are looking at getting their kids grown, retiring and traveling.....chances are those things will never happen in my life. I will always have kids, I will most likely always have to work....and unless someone finds traveling to Wichita exciting..... Well you see why I might not be considered a catch!

I laugh when people say "you need a man!" When I come back with.."No..I need a dishwasher. I need a second income, and I need new tires! But I don't need a man!" They somehow think I am joking. The truth is...it would be wonderful to have another adult to share my day with, to pick my spirits up when they are lagging  or just to laugh and talk with. It would be fantastic to have someone who would hold my hand when I am sitting in the ER waiting to hear a diagnosis, or bring me dinner and then hold my hand when I am having one of my frequent overnight stays with David in the hospital. I would love support and companionship and to know that someone loved me and had my back every step of the way.....but honestly....I don't need it! When God feels I need someone...then I will have him....until then, other than a bad day or two along the way....I guess I am good.

Your Photo Here.............(Day 24)

Happy Toes!

I did it! I went and got the toes painted. I didn't get the shellac because it was an extra $10 and even my toes aren't worth that much. I love the color though and the design. Those girls at Diva are just good. I think this was the lift that I needed. My feet have been happy all day!