You Kids Get Off My Lawn

In the 1960's, the term generation gap was coined. It was a term widely used in the media and in everyday life to describe the lack of communication and understanding between 18, 19, 20 somethings and those of their parents and grandparents age. It was a time in America when kids were not satisfied with the status quo and were asking tough questions and demanding answers. They were raging against the machine of post 1950's ultra conservatism and fighting against everything from the war to clothing styles. While the term is really not used much anymore, I am beyond convinced that the generation gap is still alive and well and last night I witnessed it with my own eyes.

Before I continue though, let me say a little about this gap as at my more mature age in life, I am privy to both sides of this phenomenon. Since the moment kids came out from under the belief system of the 30's, 40's and 50's that kids should be seen and not heard and that what their parents believed was what they also should believe, young America realized they had power. They had the power to speak out, speak up and change the world and they didn't care if their older counterparts liked it or not. Unfortunately what they exuded in youth, energy and passion, they sometimes lacked in experience, knowledge and common sense.

As for the older generation...... well they had the experience, knowledge and common sense and their life experience often saw disaster on the horizon with the impending change that young America was pushing for. They had learned from trial and error over many years that sometimes it was better to err on the side of caution. They also had lived long enough and been through enough that by the time they reached a certain age...they were simply tired. They didn't want the upheaval, the drama and the inevitable.....dare I say.....change that this younger generation was going to precipitate. So the older generation became viewed not as wise and cautious, but as old and unchanging. For me, the mental picture of the old scowly faced guy in the cardigan sweater yelling out the window, "You kids stay off my lawn," always comes to mind because in reality the yard represents the world the old man can control and by the younger generation changing things (or playing on his lawn), he is losing control of the world he knows. Trust me.....I do get it. 

All this being said, change is inevitable and with each new generation things will continue to change. Add in to that social media and 24 hours news and that change will be in our face 24/7 long after this current generation of American youth are screaming for the next generations to get off their lawns.

So shifting gears a bit, I run several hometown facebook pages. One of those pages is for town issues where people can discuss, vent and hopefully from time to time....solve local problems. There are rules for this page simply because of the things that are dealt with. Of course there is the expectation that people are respectful and adult-like which sometimes in some situations makes me feel like I am den mother to a bunch of middle aged adolescents. Because of this very thing, there is an age limit  (18) to be able to join. Well, actually....you must be 18 and out of high school. We already have enough adults acting like they are in high school, I really didn't want to throw real high schoolers in the mix. I was afraid their maturity my embarrass the actual adults. ;) So every year, as school gets out, I have about a handful of graduated 18 year olds that ask to join the page. What usually happens is that once they join and realize how boring the town talk is and how some of the adults tend to act, we never hear from them again. This year though.....it was different.

Starting last week, we had an influx of new members. All that joined had their birth dates listed as Dec. 31, 1969 which wasn't a dead give away or anything, especially since in our town, if you don't know everyone personally, you at least know who they are. Most all of these new members were just graduated or in their early 20's. Most were also guys. After a day or two, unlike all the other years....these guys started posting. I have no doubt that after reading all the posts on this page that previously had been blocked to them, they were highly underwhelmed with both the content and the "adults" posting it, so they decided to liven it up.

Suddenly a post was made by a young man that was posted as a serious issue, but was obviously meant as a humorous joke. His friends immediately joined in and the post went crazy. So did my fb messages complaining about these kids turning the page into a sham and them being disrespectful. I also started having people in the group reporting the post. Maybe it was because I have boys and know their humor at that age or maybe it was because I have been dealing with very real and very serious issues in my life and on a scale from one to serious, this silly post rated a -10, but I just watched for a bit. The complaints kept coming so I even posted on there myself and said I thought the post was just a little levity to lighten a rather serious page. Unfortunately, as the exuberance of youth, the beginning of summer and likely a bit of boredom on their part often do.....it caused them to think that maybe the world found their humor funnier than the little world of this particular fb page did....and they began spreading their humor to more posts. By last night, more than one long time page member was screaming "YOU KIDS GET OFF MY LAWN!" Since the page is not mine to dictate but a community page, the majority ruled and I had to make one of my dreaded "behave yourself" post speeches. This is when I realized that although the generation gap was alive and well in our little midwest town on our little fb page, I also realized that our town was doing something very right.

My post did not deter the humor from these kids, but it also did not bring on disrespect either. When I saw this, I tried to keep my responses on the "mom humor" (you know, the kind of humor that makes these guys smile and roll their eyes at the mom trying to be funny) side of things. Then they started asking some really great questions that I actually hoped would make some of the long time, older members think. The questions were all basically, why can full grown adults get on this page and be negative, nasty and down right bullying to each other and that be acceptable (which it is not), but they can't come on there, be funny, maybe a little irreverent but still positive in nature without the town elders getting "butt hurt" (their words not mine.) Yeah.....why? 

Of course with all of my years of wisdom, I knew why. This page was for town business, it was on the serious side and these kids were trampling on the lawn and status quo of people who didn't want or like this kind of change. I felt these kids deserved an answer though and so I gave it to them explaining basically all the above and pointing out that had they kept their comments to just the one post and respected that not everyone was a fan of their humor, this would not have probably all been an issue. Understanding fully though that they were 1) pretty funny in their own way and 2) they needed their own page to express their views, their humor and maybe even vent a little about their uptight, older community members....I suggested they start their own page. Whether it was my suggestion or already thought of by someone else, they did just that. What was more impressive though, was how they handled my response to their questions. They actually kindly and respectfully thanked me for taking the time to respond to their questions and to explain things. Maybe it was something they hadn't already thought of or realized as to how their posts were affecting others or maybe it was just that one adult on there took the time to treat them as adults and answer some pretty great questions from them. Whatever the case, they were all respectful young people who earned my respect because they actually handled themselves with class.

What's more, I did happen to go peek at their new page and I was pleasantly surprised. Yes, they made a couple of comments about how uptight and "butt hurt" people on the other page could be, but there was no trashing or disrespect of those who complained about them and from what I could see, they were truly enjoying their new page. They also kept membership on the other page which I was happy to see. After all, these young people are the future of our community. At some point in time, the issues that affect our town will be important to them and they, like everyone else need a place to speak their mind, vent and have the opportunity to make a difference....and I really think they just might.

Yes, the generation gap is alive and well and as sure as the young people will  want to continue to change the world, those of us who know just how hard that is, will not make it easy for them. It is the constant in the universe that never seems to change. That being said though, after last night.....I think the gap is not nearly so wide.