Dying of Fear

Today got me to thinking. I woke up and realized that 25 years ago today, a tragedy occurred that changed our country and the lives of everyone in the Alfred P. Murrah Building in Oklahoma City forever. The homegrown terrorists, whose names I will not even mention in this blog piece, at 9:02 a.m. on April 19, 1995 set off a bomb outside the federal building which injured approximately 680 people and killed 168 people including children in an on-site daycare. People could hear the bomb go off for miles and when the dust cleared, the devastation left behind had us all staring at our TV's in shocked disbelief. Our quiet spring morning had been disrupted and destroyed by domestic forces who wished to destroy and terrorize with the one goal of causing paralyzing fear and devastation. Their efforts while dedicated did not have their desired effect. Yes, they caused devastation but they also brought about something they could never have imagined in the people they hoped to debilitate with fear.

On that day, they brought about a strength and fearlessness that most of us never knew we even had. First responders and everyday citizens alike, bolted into action on a search and rescue mission while others stood by helping in anyway they could. People from across the country jumped in their vehicles and headed to Oklahoma so that they could offer their services in anyway possible. Those that couldn't be hands on, had hands folded in prayer as we watched the grueling footage of rescues and recoveries. We saw tiny bodies, bloodied and bruised being pulled out of the wreckage and we saw faces of family members, pale, tear streaked and waiting for word on their child, parent or spouse.

In all of it's devastation though, instead of filling us with fear and immobilizing us to run, hide, do nothing and hunker down in perceived "safety", it made us strong. We stood strong for those who had lost their lives that day, for those who had lost people they loved that day and for the state of Oklahoma who was suffering a loss that no state should ever have to endure. We stood strong against terrorism and those who tried to strike a blow against our country as a whole. We were all Oklahoman's that day, but more importantly, we were ALL Americans and we had a long history of standing up and fighting. Fear was not on the agenda...even with the realization that there were those in our own country that hoped to make us fear, make us weak and take us down from within. Were others out to get us? Was travel safe? Were Federal buildings, arena's or large gatherings even safe anymore? We had no idea but NO ONE was going to force us into fear.

Yes, today.....it all came back to me. So that is why I am switching gears and bringing us to the here and now.

Let's talk COVID-19. We are in week 3 or 30 (who can remember at this point) of all but "essential" businesses, schools and people being on lock down. Social media is still flooded with fear and mainstream media is still flooded with inaccurate mortality rates and fear mongering. It appears that gone are the people of 1995 or even the people of 2001, who refused to allow fear to rule them. Instead we have been replaced by an over reactive people who have traded common sense for fear and who refuse to listen to facts preferring a bought and paid for media who can't keep their stories straight. What is worse is that a majority of the people are all too easily ready to trade their constitutional rights for a perceived "feeling" of security in the guise of complete government control. We are no longer strong and fearless, we are weak, scared and ready to be picked off by our enemies. We are not Americans, we are a sad people gearing up to repeat the history of atrocities we swore would never happen again. Wrong....it's happening.

So we spend a lot of time speaking of "essential". Who decides essential? Call me crazy, but in our own way, aren't we ALL essential? Isn't every business whose income that provides a home, food and necessities for a family essential?  Isn't every business who has a payroll that provides for other families essential?  And isn't every business who pays taxes and helps to keep the economy up and running essential? So who has the right to say that you or your business is not essential? Constitutionally....no one, especially not those in government who smile while "hunkering down" and eating ice cream bars while their own actions are systematically destroying the country.

Now let me ask you, after you have come out of hiding, what happens when we finally realize that there are many viruses and flu's which we have REAL numbers on that are far deadlier as a whole than COVID-19? Have we set a precedence that we just never let our lives, our businesses or our economy go back to normal? Do we just remain in the security of our homes, with our hoarded toilet paper.....until we as individuals can no longer afford our homes and the government can no longer afford to continue stimulating the people with government checks?

I have got to ask, when the fearless Americans with common sense and a love of their constitutional rights left the building and these scared, frightened little pod people took over their bodies? This country and the world even, have survived illnesses and diseases much worse than COVID-19 and most without any vaccine to cure them. Bubonic Plague, Cholera, Dysentery, Yellow Fever, Scarlet Fever, Tuberculosis, Polio and yes....the Flu. They all have been contagious, miserable and even deadly and yet the world continued on. Economies didn't fall to the diseases and people built up immunities for many of these diseases while others we were lucky enough to find vaccines for and wipe them out completely. In most cases when these diseases hit, people had enough common sense to quarantine "the sick," or the exposed for the a specific number of days and then life went on. So what is the deal with us?

Someone told me the other day that the problem is that no one wants to die. Huh? Like it or not....that  is happening.....for all of us. None of us gets out a live, but what kind of life do we have if we have to live it in fear and hiding out from COVID-19, the next virus or the flu? The truth is, in the last 25 years, we have had far more deadly diseases run through our country and yes, there were casualties, but never have we over reacted to the point we are at now. Do you ask yourselves why?

The truth I believe is that this whole Corona situation became a very convenient political ploy in an election year. I think a ruined economy and a fearful people are going to have a big effect on a presidential election. I think that there were those who felt they were losing their political holds and COVID came on at the perfect time to make a public with a short memory focus on fear rather than facts and to put all of their thoughts and energy into a virus rather than to what was going on in congress just a few short weeks before. Let's face it, for some, COVID-19 basically erased the slate of  unjust and unconstitutional indiscretions for many. So yeah, there are many in congress relishing this virus, it's effect on the American people and the paycheck they are still collecting while everyone else is worried that they might not be able to pay their bills.

Come on people, surely you haven't lost every ounce of common sense you had and surely we are smart enough to know when we are being played by people we elected. Luckily, some people across the country are starting to wake up and realize that our own congress and heavy handed governors have the potential to be far more dangerous than any virus out there. They are protesting and demanding their constitutional rights, as they and their families rely on them being as essential as anyone else. How are government is handling these protests should be a wake up call to all of us. And here is a question, do you think any citizen of any "free" country ever deemed that their government would take over and they would lose their freedom, their rights and even their lives? Did it happen anyway? You all know the answer and THAT is what should scare you.

Guys, I am not saying that COVID-19 isn't real, isn't contagious and can't kill. However, so is the flu. So are diseases like Polio, mumps and measles that many "choose" not to vaccinate for. And yes, there will be deaths. There will always be deaths because.....people die. But as I said before, even more people may die because of lock-downs. Has it ever occurred to you that mental health crisis and suicides are on the rise during all of this? Addiction relapse is happening at an alarming rate and abuse in families is also rearing it's ugly head. People are losing their jobs, their businesses and in some cases they can't even go for a drive without police deeming them non-essential and arresting them for violating lock-downs. People are starting to feel the constraints of government controlled fear and they are dying or killing because mental health is getting dangerously low. Also the fear that many are carrying because of all of this....have you looked into the devastation that fear and stress can cause on someone's body? The stress from continued reminders by the media that we should be afraid can cause both mental and physical issues that can lead to life long health issues and yes....even death. And finally, what about those people who "follow the rules," and don't leave their homes. What do they do? Many lay around, eat, don't exercise and yes....are getting depressed? What do you think that is doing to peoples health and how many people are going to have life and health altering issues because of this?

Hero's don't run and American's don't hide. They never have. We are strong, we use common sense and we certainly don't play Chicken Little, and yet here we are. COVID-19 is not the first contagious and life threatening virus we have faced down in our history and it won't be the last. What it is though, is the first virus we have allowed to scare us into submission and have allowed to destroy our economy, our way of life and our mental health. And it is the first we are willing to hand over our free will and our constitutional rights for.

I for one am not afraid. I never have been. Yes, I might get it and yes.....I might even die from it, but if I die, I won't go out in fear, because I will know that my last days, weeks and months were not lived in fear. They were lived in strength and joy and I am pretty sure that my 1995 me and my 2001 me, would be very proud. Can you say the same?  I hope so, because too many right now are dying of fear.

COVID-19 The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

So.....COVID-19, also known as the Corona Virus. Hmmm...... As if 2020 hadn't already been enough of a shit show (for lack of a better term), with the whole "impeachment that never was," played out on every media outlet that ever was. Before we could take a breath, here comes C-19. And the hits just keep on coming.

It has been awhile since I have done a "good, bad and ugly" blog on a person, place or event, but after days of "containment" (yes, there are likely going to be a lot of " " in this piece), I decided that I either blogged my feelings or I explode. I went for the least messy route.....I think.

Tis' true. We had barely gotten through the whole "Pelosi implodes and Four More Years," situations, when along came C-19. At first people were just looking at it as the usual election year virus (look it up if you don't believe me), but then within a very short time, it became a history making, unprecedented event that will go down as the proverbial "It was the best of times. It was the worst of times," modern day melodrama.

COVID-19 began in China. It's origins were traced back to the Wuhan Market, where the lack of cleanliness and the choice in "delicacies" was less than palatable or healthy. Bats, dogs, cats and other assorted domestic and rodent type meats are the norm there and apparently knowing that these animals can carry diseases not healthy for humans is not a deterrent to the people.  For many there, C-19 proved fatal and it all linked back to the market...or so they say. Apparently I am the only one on the planet who questioned how a country that is so technologically forward would allow open markets such as this. Hmmmm.......

People were suddenly glued to their tvs and phones as they watched C-19 spread from China to Italy to Turkey and then eventually penetrate our borders through international flight and cruise ships. Closed borders were looking a lot better as this virus began working its way through our coastal states.

So what is C-19? It has been described as anywhere between a bad cold or a light flu, to a full on pneumonia and for the elderly, very young or those people with weakened immune systems, it can be fatal. According to the Center for Disease Control (CDC), the symptoms of  the virus are fever, sore throat and coughing.  The reason C-19 seems to be so alarming is because it spreads so quickly and easily. The symptoms can appear 2-14 days from exposure. The reality is (if you do the research and don't just rely on the media for your info), there are 8 billion people in the world per Google. According to CNN, as of today 1.2 million people have tested positive world wide and 65,000 have died. What these numbers don't tell you is the number of cases that have not been reported and documented (because of course....they can't because they aren't testing everyone with symptoms) and of those, how many have survived. Comparatively, according to Contagion Live, the CDC has reported over 13 million cases of the flu in this flu season alone. The flu can also be fatal to the elderly, the very young or those with weakened immune systems and according to a 2017 report from the CDC, 291,000 to 646,000 people die yearly from the flu.....and yet C-19 has basically stopped life as we know it and is well on it's way to crippling what just a few weeks ago was a thriving and healthy economy. Anyone but me wondering why?

So those are the facts, but most don't do the research. They rely on a news media who has been caught time and again falsifying, withholding and totally abandoning the truth for both financial and political gain. Because of our devotion at the alter of a corrupt media, people with normal common sense have allowed themselves to become fearful and reactive. If you need proof of this, then let's wander back a few weeks during the "toilet paper, Clorox wipes" hoarding spree.

We had been warned for several weeks prior, that C-19 was on it's way and that precautions would likely be necessary. Precautions such as....washing your hands for at least 20 seconds multiple times per day, coughing into your sleeve, staying home if you didn't feel well and avoiding crowds. All perfectly rational and common sense things....that most everyone ignored.

When C-19 hit the states, the government apparently became alarmed, and suggested that if we were not feeling well or had been around those not feeling well, that we might self quarantine. Those words must have translated to the masses as, "Quick! Buy toilet paper and Clorox wipes. They will no longer make them and we are all gonna die if we don't have them." For some this also became a money making proposition, buying up baby formula, diapers, wipes and essentials that most households need to function. With dollar signs in their eyes, almost overnight ebay and marketplace sell sites had rolls of toilet paper going for $10 a pop and formula for as high at $150/canister. Fear and greed had taken the place of common sense.

Still, people roamed freely hoarding toilet paper by day and going to concerts, bars, restaurants and fighting crowds of people for more toilet paper by night. It was ridiculous and for those of us who refused to give into the fear and mass hysteria and only buy what we always bought and no more, we found ourselves shell shocked when we stepped into the grocery stores. It was as if we had walked into a post apocalyptic world where once fully stocked shelves were empty and people were wildly running up and down the aisles grabbing what was left just to fill their carts. All I could do was shake my head and go home. People seemed to have no understanding that all of these products were still being made, but in their frenzy, they have caused a demand that supply couldn't keep up with. Even online shopping dragged to a halt as many items were sold out across the country and in some cases, even world wide. And still with all of this, people coughed, sneezed and went out running fevers exposing the world to a multitude of germs. At least their bottoms were clean.....I hope. 

The government then started making self quarantining less of a suggestion and more of demand as they banned groups of 200 or more, then 50 or more, then 10 or more. Then real fear set in when our Spring Break turned into....."you will not return to finish the 2019-2020 school year." Never in my life time have I seen or heard of such a thing, and yet here we are. Graduating seniors have no end of school awards or graduation ceremonies. There was no basketball, track, soccer, baseball or any other spring and possibly summer sports. Kids are left to do distance learning and parents are left to make sure their kids do it so they can actually finish out their grade. Finally the governor told us that we could not congregate with six or more people and I began to worry who I was going to have to start kicking out of my house.

Ultimately, we were given a "Stay at Home," order and currently compliance has been about 30%. This is not totally the fault of the people though, as certain jobs have been deemed essential....medical staff, grocery clerks, truckers, restaurant employees, fire, police, EMS and the list goes on much further than you might imagine. It's hard to stay at home when you are deemed "essential." Thank God I am not!

Through all of this, I have watched wide eyed and a little lot disbelieving. I thought politics made people crazy, but this situation has by far surpassed crazy. When you have people in  abject fear of a situation, they begin to lose their ability to be rational and this makes people reactive instead of proactive. Of course with C-19, we left proactive on the side of the road a long time ago.

A few weeks back I was talking to one of Davids doctors and we were talking about David being in the hospital back in October. He had spiked a 105 temp and had a hacky cough. They tested him for numerous things (but not C-19 because it wasn't on our radar yet). They treated him with the usual high powered anti-biotics and after a five day stay in the hospital, he was released to go home with no real answers as to what caused it all. The doctor now believes that he and many others had C-19 before we even knew it was in the U.S. I stated this in a Facebook post I made, saying that I thought this might be the case for David. I had one, I am sure well meaning person, come back at me on how ignorant I was, thinking I could diagnose my son with C-19. She had no idea this wasn't "my" diagnosis or assertion. She is a very intelligent person so I was more than amazed and a little disappointed at her own ignorance. Again, though....I chalked it up to how crazy this virus has made us all.

Please don't get me wrong, I do see both sides of this situation. I understand the almost incapacitating fear of  something you can't see or control. None of us likes to feel powerless and when you fall into the category of very young, elderly or having a weakened immune system or you love someone that falls within these categories, the feeling of helplessness is overwhelming. Sometimes you can't help but react or over react just to feel some control. Add to that the news media produces nothing but negativity and fear mongering and many can't help but be anxiety and stress ridden and angry at everyone who isn't, viewing them as uncaring, rebellious, dangerous even and definitely part of the problem. Truly, I get it, but I also know that fear is as debilitating as any virus and the toll it takes on our minds, bodies and souls is just as deadly.

I also see the other side. There are many who view this as a convenient solution to topple a healthy economy. They distrust (with good reason) our news media and they are sick and tired of the doom and gloom on social media. Their lives have been disrupted along with their income, livelihood and security and they look at the actual numbers and see a much different story than is being played out 24/7 on every channel and every outlet. Most feel that "normal" precautions should be taken and many have even settled into the thought that self containment for two weeks to a month is doable, but dammit....they need toilet paper too as well as their normal weekly groceries and they see no reason to give into mass fear.

As in most cases, I don't think either side is absolutely right and I don't think either side is absolutely wrong. I think if we all just took a breath, paid attention to the REAL numbers, turned off the tv, put down our phones and took normal precautions, we might all just see this in a different light. I know without a doubt that we will weather this storm, but what damage might we have already caused in the midst of this chaos. Perhaps we have shown the rest of the world, our enemies included, that a good portion of us are a reactive and at times irrational people. In 2019 and 2020 we have already set some pretty dangerous political precedence's and now we are setting some dangerous socio-economic ones too. How long will we hold onto this distancing and the stay at home orders? How many of our small businesses will go under and some of our big ones too? How is this going to effect education? How many kids will simply not go back to school after this? How many will be adversely affected due to parents that don't insist on them doing their schoolwork and oversee them doing it? How many jobs will be lost because businesses can't afford to rehire? How many people will lose their homes because eventually even if  given a grace period, they will be expected to pay with a non-existent paycheck from a non-existent job? We have virtually stopped and set back the greatest nation in the world and we have to ask ourselves....was it really necessary or was it merely a knee jerk reaction? OR....was it something that none of us can even imagine?

So as I promised, I have given you the bad and the ugly, but believe it or not....there is also some pretty extra-ordinary good.

At the end of 2019, going into the beginning of 2020, we were a social media, celebrity obsessed world. We were busy, distracted and often times rather than socialize...even with our own families we chose technology and we handed our kids over to social media and video games like sacrificial lambs. We were self possessed, self absorbed and narcissistic. We were a world where fame was not earned but handed out as a participation trophy to anybody on YouTube, talented or not. Truthfully, we were a modern day Sodom and Gomorrah in very many ways. Then C-19 happened and a lot changed.

I was brought up to believe that something good always comes out of something bad and this situation is no different. Because we have been forced to self quarantine into containment, we have also been forced to spend time with our families. We get to see the kids our teachers have to deal with daily. We have gotten to see who is really "essential" in our world and who is merely hot air and decoration.

Since this containment, I have seen more people out riding bikes, walking and finding creative ways to visit and communicate than I ever dreamed imaginable. Families are actually getting to know each other and to do things together like playing games, cooking, crafts and simply watching movies together.

People have had to slow down and some I have heard, have even slept in a time or two as time means very little when you have no place to be. Suddenly our time is our own and we are working in the yard or garden, reading that book we have wanted to read or simply actually talked on the phone to people. We are writing letters, cleaning out closets and binge watching shows. We are having family meals and sitting on the porch waving at our neighbors as they walk by.

Communities are changing it up too. Restaurants are closed to dining, but they have curb side delivery and people especially in smaller communities are doing their best to support these businesses and keep them financially viable. Churches, which are also closed are finding new ways to reach their congregations and you can find services from any denomination online day and night. We are taking care of our bodies and souls.

My community decided to help lift the confinement blues and started a long forgotten tradition of  "dragging." Back in the day, we used to drag Main and Second which were intersecting streets. It was usually for teenagers with cool cars and nothing to do on a Saturday night. Well, currently we all are "kids" with some form of car that has nothing to do on a Saturday night. So with radios blasting and a reason for the girls to wear make-up again, my town is doing a Saturday night drag. We are social distancing with style and whole lot of fun.

Yes, as bad as this whole C-19 has been, in some ways it has been a blessing. It has made us step back and look at our lives, really see our families and realize what we loved about growing up and giving a bit of that back to our kids and grand kids. It has made us realize who really keeps our country running in tough times and to appreciate them more. It has brought out kindness in many and shown that even some of our BIG companies have a heart. We have seen a positive side to our world, our country, our cities and our small towns. We have begun to come together and fill a divide in our country that politics had created. We realized that the virus and the fear that goes with it has no political affiliation and does not discriminate by color, creed, ethnicity or financial status. We truly are all in this together and how we handle ourselves during all of this will be our legacy and show our kids and grand kids both our strengths and our weaknesses in times of trouble.

Me personally? Well, it has brought me closer to my faith. Perhaps it has been a multitude of life's lessons, or faith alone, but I have felt no fear during all of this. Fear has no room for faith and faith no room for fear. I have struggled to remember that my faith alone cannot change the world, so I try hard to be kind to others and empathize with their fears. As I said though, I have struggled and there continue to be life lessons daily for me. I am far from perfect and I still have much left to learn.....in good times and bad. 

So there you have it. My "good, bad and ugly," of C-19. Please don't feel you have to agree and please feel free to agree if you like. This blog post was for me......I didn't want to explode. So until next time....stay safe, stay happy, stay healthy and most of all....let's all do our best to be kind.