I don't know why it is, that when someone dies that touches me deeply, I have to write. It is a feeling that builds up inside of me....emotions, pain, memories and maybe a need to write it all down so with the passing years I never forget the moment in time. Now is no different.
If you have read my blogs in the past, you have heard me speak of the Poteete's often. They are my second family not bonded by blood, but certainly by heart. Since I have been 16 years old, Berty, Thiry and I have cried, laughed, celebrated and mourned with each other through every hill and valley of our lives. I think the three of us will always have that bond.
Yesterday morning, I was woken up by a phone call from Berty. The moment I heard her voice, I went back to other times I heard that tone....the quietness. I immediately felt my body tense and I was right. She called to tell me the unthinkable. Berty was at Thiry's and Thiry's youngest daughter Kylie had died in a car accident. As much as I knew there was something bad coming, I had no idea it was going to be this bad. All I could do was to say "No!" over and over again, maybe subconsciously feeling that if I said it enough, this news would cease to be true.
I asked what I could do, knowing the answer before it even left my lips. Nothing! There was simply nothing I could do and nothing I could say. This was going to just be one of those terrible, awful things that happen in life, that has to be gotten through and for awhile, nothing can make it hurt any less.
With the whole COVID-19 thing, I did question for a moment what I should do. I knew what the government said I should do and I knew what my heart said I should do and my heart won out. I immediately woke up my son Zach and told him. His reaction was identical to mine. "No!" Then without a word, he got dressed and I got dressed and we got in the car. Zach hates these kind of things, but Kylie was special. There was no question as to where we needed to be.
On the way to Thiry's I fought memories and tears and I prayed that our presence would be healing and not in anyway intrusive. My heart just kept telling me to get there because she would be and has been there for me time and again.
When we walked in, the tears hit me with a force I didn't know possible. I saw Berty sitting there with so much pain on her face, she too knowing that our best efforts could not take away an ounce of the grief in that room, but when I saw Thiry and her husband Kelly, sitting there, lost, exhausted and still unable to comprehend the reality of their loss, my heart shattered into pieces. Thiry grabbed me and we just cried. I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be in that moment.
Loss of any kind is painful. Even in the realization that none of us gets out alive, when you lose someone so suddenly and especially so young, the pain is immense. There are no good-byes. There is no preparation and not only do we mourn the life of someone we loved, but we also mourn our plans, their plans, the future we hoped they would have. With a child though, the pain is different. That is a life we helped create, we brought into this world and we nurtured. We watched them grown and saw not only the present, but as parents we also visualize their future. To have that all yanked away from us in a moment.......well let me just say.......no parent should have to outlive their child.
Still today, my heart aches. My heart is broken over the loss of this beautiful young girl with her whole life ahead of her, but it is also in pieces over the pain I saw in Thiry and Kelly's eyes. While I know they will eventually find their way through this (even though they don't really know that now), I also know that this left wounds that from time to time will reopen and bleed. How could it not, they lost a child.
Since I am not putting this blog on social media, many will not see this, but if you do, I ask that you please say a prayer for this family. Pray for peace. Pray for comfort and pray that they are given the strength to get through this in the days, weeks and months ahead. R.I.P. Kylie Morgan Love.
If you have read my blogs in the past, you have heard me speak of the Poteete's often. They are my second family not bonded by blood, but certainly by heart. Since I have been 16 years old, Berty, Thiry and I have cried, laughed, celebrated and mourned with each other through every hill and valley of our lives. I think the three of us will always have that bond.
Yesterday morning, I was woken up by a phone call from Berty. The moment I heard her voice, I went back to other times I heard that tone....the quietness. I immediately felt my body tense and I was right. She called to tell me the unthinkable. Berty was at Thiry's and Thiry's youngest daughter Kylie had died in a car accident. As much as I knew there was something bad coming, I had no idea it was going to be this bad. All I could do was to say "No!" over and over again, maybe subconsciously feeling that if I said it enough, this news would cease to be true.
I asked what I could do, knowing the answer before it even left my lips. Nothing! There was simply nothing I could do and nothing I could say. This was going to just be one of those terrible, awful things that happen in life, that has to be gotten through and for awhile, nothing can make it hurt any less.
With the whole COVID-19 thing, I did question for a moment what I should do. I knew what the government said I should do and I knew what my heart said I should do and my heart won out. I immediately woke up my son Zach and told him. His reaction was identical to mine. "No!" Then without a word, he got dressed and I got dressed and we got in the car. Zach hates these kind of things, but Kylie was special. There was no question as to where we needed to be.
On the way to Thiry's I fought memories and tears and I prayed that our presence would be healing and not in anyway intrusive. My heart just kept telling me to get there because she would be and has been there for me time and again.
When we walked in, the tears hit me with a force I didn't know possible. I saw Berty sitting there with so much pain on her face, she too knowing that our best efforts could not take away an ounce of the grief in that room, but when I saw Thiry and her husband Kelly, sitting there, lost, exhausted and still unable to comprehend the reality of their loss, my heart shattered into pieces. Thiry grabbed me and we just cried. I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be in that moment.
Loss of any kind is painful. Even in the realization that none of us gets out alive, when you lose someone so suddenly and especially so young, the pain is immense. There are no good-byes. There is no preparation and not only do we mourn the life of someone we loved, but we also mourn our plans, their plans, the future we hoped they would have. With a child though, the pain is different. That is a life we helped create, we brought into this world and we nurtured. We watched them grown and saw not only the present, but as parents we also visualize their future. To have that all yanked away from us in a moment.......well let me just say.......no parent should have to outlive their child.
Still today, my heart aches. My heart is broken over the loss of this beautiful young girl with her whole life ahead of her, but it is also in pieces over the pain I saw in Thiry and Kelly's eyes. While I know they will eventually find their way through this (even though they don't really know that now), I also know that this left wounds that from time to time will reopen and bleed. How could it not, they lost a child.
Since I am not putting this blog on social media, many will not see this, but if you do, I ask that you please say a prayer for this family. Pray for peace. Pray for comfort and pray that they are given the strength to get through this in the days, weeks and months ahead. R.I.P. Kylie Morgan Love.
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