Memorial Day....Do You Celebrate or Honor?

I don't know how it is in your part of the world, but here in mine, it is rainy and cool. It is rather dark and dreary and maybe that is fitting for such a day as today. 

Today is Memorial Day and for some, it is the kick-off to the summer with boats on the lakes and toes in the sand. Others may view it as the day when friends and family come around for BBQs and good food to celebrate the last day of a three-day weekend. But then, there are others who actually understand what this day is about and view it for what it is. It is a day of remembrance and even mourning for those who gave all so we can have what we have today. FREEDOM!

Memorial Day is the day set aside to honor those who have served their country and died doing so. They did it willingly and bravely because they understood that freedom wasn't free, but that our country and our freedoms were worth fighting for. Sadly, so many have forgotten the significance of this day and the people we are honoring. It truly makes my heart hurt for all those missing someone who gave their life for all of us and yet so many take it for granted. 

 I saw a post on Facebook this morning from a friend of mine who is military. He stated that none of our major news affiliates were talking about Memorial Day or honoring our soldiers. As I read the post, I secretly hoped that they actually were, but he had just missed it, but a part of me knows that likely as not, Memorial Day is being downplayed because honoring our fallen soldiers sends a message that these were great people fighting for a great country and too many today don't want to see this country for what it is, rather they want to see it for what they are trying to make it. This is not right nor is it good, especially on today of all days. 

These last few years, we have lost pride in our country, because we have lost pride in our people. We have been told that only certain groups can feel pride and others must feel shame, and yet those who are supposed to feel pride, act in very self-deprecating ways. They treat themselves badly and unkindly, while the rest of the world seems to feel that even though they have done nothing, they should feel shame and their country should feel shame. We are quickly imploding on ourselves and forgetting who we are and what we stand for. 

This country is the greatest country in the world. We have freedoms and opportunities regardless of race, creed, or color that few other countries have. Unfortunately, many have forgotten and some have never learned, that freedom means having goals and dreams, working hard to achieve them, and finding success from your own tenacity and drive. Freedom is not expecting things to be given to you, refusing to work hard, and being angry when you don't have what others have because you refused to do what it takes to make it happen. We are quickly turning into a country and a people who are weak and indebted to their government. 

People seem to forget that in this country, we can be anything we want if we are willing to work for it. The proof of this is that people of every color, ethnicity and income level have been able to succeed even when the roads were rocky, but they worked hard and they changed things and paved roads for each other so that others could do the same. In few other countries is this possible. We are blessed and we don't even recognize it.  

Somewhere along the line, we decided that we would rather be taken care of than work for ourselves and make the world a better place. We traded "security" for the right to speak as we choose, pray as we choose, and live as we choose. We have taken all the amazing things about this country and have tried to turn them into points of shame and divisiveness and because of this, we now view our country, the flag, our police, and our soldiers as people and things to degrade, instead of people and things we should be grateful for and honor. 

Now saying that we are the greatest country doesn't mean that we don't have issues and that change isn't necessary in certain areas. Nothing is ever perfect and there is always room for improvement, but by the standards of many countries, we are the gold standard. If we weren't would refugees want to be here so badly? Would those from other countries who have lived through communism and oppression be telling us, that we don't know or understand what direction we are taking our country into? Of course not. 

Those that have fought and died for this country in the last 245 years, saw the big picture. They understood that unless we fight for our country, we will lose it and everything that makes it great. They understood that without freedom, we are all slaves to the evils of the world that won't care one bit what color we are, what religion we choose, or what our dreams and goals are. It is for this that these men and women have fought and died, and most importantly so that our children have a future of possibilities and hope. 

So today, if it is dreary where you are, or even if it isn't, maybe take some time and think about what this day is really about. Do some research and maybe read a book. Think about the families who are not celebrating, but grieving because they have lost a child, a parent, a friend, or the love of their life fighting and protecting, not so that you can eat BBQ and jet ski, but so that you have the right and opportunity to eat BBQ, jet ski, speak your mind, follow your dreams and live your life in peace....because that my friend is what Memorial Day is all about. 

Today we honor the men and women of all branches of the military who have fought and died for our freedom in all our wars for the last 245 years. May they Rest In Peace and may we as a country be thoughtful, respectful, and most of all grateful for their ultimate sacrifice. 

Until next time.....may you always remember those who have fought for us, may you never forget those who have died for us, and may you always be grateful for this country, our freedoms and, the men and women who still fight for us today. 

Memorial Day In My Town

I woke up this morning thinking about Memorial Day as a kid. It was the official end of the school year and the official beginning of summer. It was always hot, the town pool was open, people were off work, everything was closed and it was a day of patriotism and remembrance along with celebration and family.

Lawns were mowed on Saturday and cars were washed. Garages were cleaned out and barbecue grills were spiffed up and made ready for a big day of grilling. Flags were flown on every house and driveways, front yards and porches were full of people talking, laughing and remembering those who had fought so that their Memorial Days could be so picturesque.

For me, moving to and growing up in this small town was life changing. The wannabe writer in me even back then, knew the importance of the sensory experience of these moments and that many would either not be repeated or would some day fade away into an ever changing world. Even all these years later, I have held on to many of those images and the smells, the feel and wondering even at such a young age if one day my kids would experience this or if it would merely be unfathomable stories to their young minds.

So I have started walking again and today, after lying in bed thinking about the past, I decided to walk my 4 mile trek around town and see what my small town was doing in 2016 on Memorial Day. I vowed as I walked out the door to take pictures and to walk more slowly than usual as I wanted once again, the sensory experience that I seldom had time for anymore. I wanted to see this day....like a kid again.

It is a warm, humid morning full of sunshine. My usual bustling little town is quiet. Traffic on the main drag is nil and in places it is so still I can hear my own heart beat. I try to remember how the sun felt as a child and how excited I would have been that summer was finally here, but my adult brain was taking me to the thoughts of how free I was. How amazing it was that I could walk no particular place in no particular time and how much I was enjoying it. I was trying to imagine what life would be like without the freedom to come and go as I please and I could feel a knot starting to form in my stomach at even the thought of such a thing. Yes....Memorial Day....a time to remember those who fought and died, so that I might have a peaceful walk without limitations.

I walked passed the city building with its flag waving majestically over head. Our flag. The flag that has been abused, stepped on, burned and yet still it stands. Amazing. And I walked on. As I walked through the main street of town flags adorned the center posts. There was not a soul other than myself as I headed down the street and yet I was not alone. With me stood all those that had built this town, worked in this town and yes....died for this town. It was such a feeling of belonging and also a feeling of loss.

As I headed west and then back south, the smell of charcoal and smoke was already permeating the air. Many cars lined the streets as family and friends started to gather for celebrations and barbecues. Kids could be seen riding bikes and playing in yards. The whir of lawn mowers could be heard here and there as lawns were finally dry enough from all the rain....to mow. Garage doors were open and people were sitting in lawn chairs with music drifting on the air. As is small town etiquette, they would smile and wave as I went by, none I am sure realizing, that I was searing their image, the sound and the smell into my brain. None knew that one question kept popping into my head. What if these days, these celebrations, these moments of freedom.....are numbered? I had to remember them. I had to remember this walk.

On the south side of town, I heard the occasional rooster crow and neighborhood dogs would stand at their fences and bark "hello" as I walked by. Even in the humidity, the tree lined streets gave off shade and ever so often a slight breeze could be felt. It was surreal beauty at its finest.

I looked at the houses as I walked by. Some were homes of friends that I had gone to school with or had grown up with. Some houses had seen better days and some had been given new life. There were beautifully manicured lawns and lawns that needed a green thumb and much love. Regardless, they were a part of the scenery of my life and each felt special as if I would miss it terribly if I walked by and it weren't there.

I walked past the park that used to hold the city pool. I spent so many summers in that pool with my friends. I stood quietly for a moment and I could almost hear the laughter, the splashing, the life guards whistle and the sound of the radio coming from the concession stand. I felt real loss at that moment for even though we now have a new pool on the edge of town, my kids will never know this pool and just how integral to our summers it was for generations of kids.

The more I walked, the more I realized how intertwined my soul and my heart were with this town. I understood fully how I was a small town girl and how grateful I was that my youthful dreams of being a writer in New York City had never panned out. My heart would not have lasted a week in a place where I couldn't hear my own thoughts or have listened to the trains as they passed through town or walked tree lined streets where everyone waved whether they knew you or not. No....this is home. This is where I belong.

As my walk was soon to end, a sadness creeped over me. As much as I loved this place, there was something missing and I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I continued walking down my street, trying to figure out what was bothering me. As I looked at my neighbors house, it hit me. I knew what the sadness was and it was quite profound. In front of me stood my neighbors house and proudly from the front porch, gently waved the flag. It was solitary and singular and it represented all that this day stood for. It was at this moment I realized that yes.....the town had flags, but of all the houses I walked by.....only a handful had a flag flying. I immediately jumped back to those days of childhood where every home had a flag and where it was flown every Memorial Day without fail. Maybe we truly were coming to a time in our world, our country.....my town, where freedom was a dying right, being replaced by ignorance, apathy and a huge disregard for what this country was founded on and who fought to keep it free. I almost cried.

My walk was over and my emotions were raw. The sensory tour had been a little more than I had been prepared for. I had one more yearly event that I needed to do and although I wasn't sure I was up for it, it had to be done. I got in the car, flowers and flags in hand and headed for the cemetery. I drove out south of town thinking that I was pretty emotional and I hate to cry. I had to see my mom though and my husband and all those whose lives were a part of me and a part of my town.

As I drove into the cemetery, my heart jumped. Before me stood a row of big beautiful flags that lined the entire center of the cemetery. There were cars everywhere as people came out to pay their respects and honor those who had gone before them. The graves were adorned with flowers and flags and there was a sea of red, white and blue for as far as the eye could see. My town had not forgotten the meaning of Memorial Day. They had not lost their pride of country or freedom. It was here....where it should be. Remembering the men and women who fought and died so that we all might be free.

Tears ran down my face as I took in everything. It was amazing and I knew I would never as long as I lived forget that moment. Yes....this is my town!

Happy Memorial Day!