Some Days Just Suck!

Some days just suck! No matter how hard we try to change the course of events....things just go from bad to worse. Z is having one of those days as we speak. He is learning that sometimes bad days have a domino affect and getting things back on track is almost impossible....therefore....you just have to go with it.....ride the storm out....and pray that when all is said and done....you can laugh at both the situation and yourself.

So far Z's day has gone like this: He tried out for a musical part in the Christmas program and in his words..."he bombed worse than anyone ever." Now I sincerely doubt that is the case, but I pointed out that never has he bombed. He is used to applause and ovations. Every high has a low and we don't learn from the high's. We learn tons from the lows. While he and I both know my words are sage and come from a place of deep knowledge....that doesn't help when both your ego and your spirit feel tromped on.

Next he gets chewed out from the office because he parked in the wrong place in the parking lot. Okay....to put it bluntly those ladies in the office are..........! Nope, I am going to take the high road, but they have made no bones about the fact that they don't care for Z nor do they care for me. Guess what? The feeling is mutual, but one in particular has gone out of her way on more than one occasion to be down right nasty to both Z and I. Yeah....working with kids and their parents is her calling! But I digress. This is Z's first week driving and I know that in his cautiousness.....he is trying to park strategically so that when he leaves school he has the path of least resistance. Still and all though....he needs to learn to pay attention and read signs and know that VISITORS PARKING is actually for the visitors. Instead of saying please move your car though.....they in Z's words.....yelled at him. Now were they their usual nasty selves or did Z just feel yelled at because he already was stinging from the earlier mishaps? I would say it could go either way.

While he was moving his car though....he called me for some words of encouragement and possible ideas on how not to have the entire day tank. I told him it was just one day and he would get through it. He had his doubts but said he was going to do his best. Poor kid....it just wasn't in the cards for him.

About 20 min. ago I got another call from him. His day in fact did go from bad to worse. First of all when he came back into school after moving his car he was given the third degree by those ever so sweet office bi....errrr....ladies asking him why it took him so long to move his car. He said he had a call from me. (A small lie but definitely understandable in light of events.) They then told him that better NOT happen again. Nice to see their brooms are up and running in time for Halloween. (Grrrr) While this didn't help the situation.....he is so used to their attitudes.....it really didn't phase him that much....however.....the next event really was what seemed to sink the entire day to it's lowest depths.

This morning at our house was crazy and Z was very focused on his audition today so apparently.....while he was getting ready for school.....some things slipped through the cracks.....like putting on a belt. Z has taken a growth spurt of late and in that spurt he started losing weight. None of the pants that fit when school started....fit now. So as he was walking through the commons during passing period............yeah you guessed......his pants dropped. Now don't get me wrong....Z is not above dropping his pants in the commons for a laugh, but that is in HIS time. It doesn't feel quite the same when you have already had the day from hell and it is only 9:30 a.m. and you had no plans of showing your boxers that day. Thank God they were clean! There were laughs....lots of laughs but Z felt instead of laughing with him....they were laughing at him. Truth be told, the kids probably thought it was a joke and secondly the same kids that would have laughed had it been a joke were laughing even though it was a totally unplanned skivvy show. Needless to say....that final phone call was frustration and resignation all at the same time. I couldn't help but snicker momentarily at the mental picture.....he on the other hand neither appreciated my snicker nor did he find any humor in the current situation. I told him to laugh it off. He really didn't appear to be in a laughing mood though. I understood. I told him things would get better and to just hold his head up and get to his next class. Not sure if that was what he was looking for.....but he sounded okay when he got off the phone. (Hope the office ladies didn't see him....Grrr)

So why the blog about such a horrible day? Well....because as a parent this was hard on me too. No...I am not making this about me, I am saying that no parent wants to see their kid have such a rotten day. No parent wants to get that call from their kid hearing the underlying "please make it all better," and know there is absolutely nothing they can do to change things. And no parent is without having a few sucky days of their own to pull from...so they can both sympathize and empathize with this kind of day. I know that Z left the house with such hope this morning only to feel like the day beat him up and left him bruised and battered...and all before mid morning even hit. I heard the disappointment in his voice and I could hear the frustration as his day continued to sink further and further into the abyss of high school hell. And yes...I wanted to make it all better......but the fact is....this is life and some days are just gonna suck! Some days are gonna be full of failed auditions, nasty office ladies and pants falling down in a crowd. But it is those days that give us a true life education, teach us humility and make us not take ourselves too seriously. Nothing happened today that is going to change the world, cause irreparable damage or even probably be remembered come Monday. However Z learned some very valuable lessons today. He learned that no matter how talented you are or think you are.....not every audition is going to be your best work or get you a part. If you are a strong person, believe in yourself and your talent....it is those "fails" that make you re-evaluate your performance, make you work harder and make you give your very best every time. If you don't know failure....then you can never appreciate success. He also learned he needs to pay attention and read signs and that some people are just never going to like you or be nice to you. You can let them define you and how you feel about yourself....or you can realize that in most cases......the problem is not you at all....but some issue that they them self have. Finally he learned that everyone loses their pants, wears two different shoes, has a boob pop out or farts loudly at some inopportune time in life. It happens to all of us. It almost seems to be a cosmic joke that keeps us humble and gives God and the angels a chuckle. How we react to these little faux pas is a character building exercise which teaches us to cope with life and all the little unexpected things that tend to happen. Fun? No! But then again the really tough lessons seldom are.

So I hope and yes even said a couple of prayers.....that Z's day improves. Knowing Z's mother....and I do know her well, we will be looking for the humor in all of this as soon as possible. Yeah....some days just suck! What else can I say?

Learning to Pray

Okay....for the most part, I guess I am back. Life is too short to shove aside that which I love and we all know I love....love....love blogging. Things have settled in my world or maybe I just stopped obsessing about the things that I have no control over. You will probably see me jumping between my three blogs a bit as the other two blogs haven't gotten much love as of late. They are my way of balancing my life and focusing on all that encompasses my world.

Yesterday I spoke of changes in the 51 weeks I have left this year. Well today was a doozie. Z drove by himself for the very first time. I let him drive to a later Mass after I got home from early Mass. Tomorrow he begins driving to school and work. My stomach is in knots.....but I know....I can't be my mother. My mom was a tad bit on the over protective side causing me to hit a lot of milestones a little later than most. I don't want to do that to Z but at the same time I have not wanted to rush him into something he wasn't ready for either. I hate this tightrope that I seem to walk, but as parents there are no hard and fast rules.....so we just take it one milestone at a time/one kid at a time. It's too bad I am not more of a drinker!

This morning Father spoke of changes that are going to occur in the new missalette starting in late November. He explained them and the reasoning for them but I think I tuned him out when he said the word "change." I know life is about change but I am not a fan of change in my church. When he said the word "change" I could feel myself turning into my mother and it didn't help that I was sitting next to my aunt. I am sure the wording will be fine and that I will adjust....I just don't understand why people constantly have to fix what isn't broke.

I spoke yesterday about wanting to learn to pray and I had several emailed comments on that. It appears that I have been able to front my ability to pray for years and have actually done a really good job of it. I was told by several that I had already achieved the "learning to pray goal." In truth though....I don't believe I have. I do way too much asking and not nearly enough thanking. The first words out of my mouth to God are seldom thank you and are often......"I need this or please do that." And being that as I have gotten older I see God as Father in the parenting sense.....I think of my own parenting. When a child comes to you constantly asking the same thing over and over again and you as the parent know that what they are asking for is not good for them, in their best interest and could have dire results.....it gets old and and as parents it can tend to push our anger buttons. Now I know God is slow to anger but according to what my mother used to say....."Lisa...you could drive a saint mad," then I am sure after 49 years of my constant asking.....I am bouncing on God's last nerve. Maybe before I pray and ask.....I should do a quick refresher on what I have, who I have and what I should already be grateful for. And being that God is not deaf and He has heard my needs more than once.....perhaps I should assume that whatever I am asking for is either 1) not in my best interest 2) it is not the time...or 3) my needs will be met in a completely different way. Also....there is a distinct possibility that if I start showing more appreciation for the many wonderful gifts I have already received.....I might not be so needy in the future.

It is kind of like going to the store. Sometimes we already have all we need in the pantry, but we forget to take stock....therefore we think we are still in need and thus try to by more. I know it is a strange analogy, but it does fit. It has happened on more than one occasion that the things I "thought" I needed....I already had. They were sitting right in front of me and not until I opened my eyes and took stock did I realize it. God ALWAYS gives us what He knows we need. Sometimes though....we don't see it or we think we need something different. Bottom line is....... He is always right and when we fight against Him is when we usually end up really shooting ourselves in the foot. Just like kids. When we know what is best for them and they take it upon themselves to do something different....often they end up getting into real trouble which then in turn we as their  parent are called upon to help them out of.

So this is why at 49 I am learning to pray. I am learning to ask for only what I truly need, learning to be truly thankful for what I already have and trying always to remember that when I put things in God's hands.....there is no safer place for them to be. This lesson will definitely keep me a work in progress for many many years to come.

Happy Sunday everyone!

Before I Turn 50

So I was thinking. Today it has officially been one week since I turned 49 years old and I only have 51 more weeks until I hit the magic 50 years old. That is right....in just 51 weeks I will be half a century old. WOW! For a lot of years it seemed that life was moving right along and I was moving with it. I was married, having kids, working and loving life. Then.... the bottom fell out and everything changed....it seems that a good portion of the last decade has been spent in a mechanically functioning but not really achieving or accomplishing mode. I guess that is why turning 50 is so much on my mind......even when I just turned 49. It dawned on my today that there is much I want to do and accomplish before I hit that new mile stone in my life and much I have let fall to the way side in the last decade that I would like to catch up. Thus came the idea for today's blog. What I Want to do Before I Turn 50!

Before I turn 50........

I want to lose at least 25 lbs.
I want to complete just one unfinished project
I want to have my house completely clean from top to bottom and everything in between all at the same time
I want to truly forgive someone who up till now I couldn't
I want to tuck the past away and only see the here and now
I want to learn to pray
I want to dance
I want to smile at least once every day
I want to kiss someone special and feel 16 again
I want to walk in the rain
I want to travel some place wonderful and new
I want my kids to have no doubts how special they are to me or how much I love them
I want to spend time with friends and appreciate what each one brings to my life
I want to laugh until I cry because I don't do nearly enough of that
I want to take some classes
I want to teach a class
I want to touch someone with my writing
and
I want to make a difference and leave my forties knowing that I didn't just merely exist...but that I actually lived!

Yeah...I know....a pretty lofty "want" list for just 51 short weeks. Doable? Who knows but the longest journey starts with just one tiny step and my tiny step is this blog. While I will always be a work in progress.....life is about learning and accomplishing and I intend to do some of both. Even though have no unrealistic ideas that 49 will be a cake walk.....I have a pretty good feeling that it just might be a great ending to a not so great decade and a wonderful beginning to a brand new one. I guess only time will tell but  right now....I would put money on me taking a pretty good bite out of that list!

Change

Strange to be back on the computer again. I haven't done much even on facebook in several days. I feel a great big disconnect in my world and I have no idea why. It was as if I woke up the day after my birthday...a different person. I don't feel the same, look at the things the same or even desire the same things. I feel very alone.....but not the least bit lonely. I feel extremely irritable.....but not at all angry. I feel like I need to step outside my box......but I don't feel boxed in at all. Not sure where all of this came from, but I do know that there was not a want, but a need to blog today. I felt as if a lot of emotions were coming to the surface and I needed to put them in their place. The hard part was turning on my computer. The device which I am usually attached at the hip to.....I had almost a repulsion when thinking about actually having to use it. Strange after the years long, daily affair I have had with it.

Today there is no topic and no theme to my blog. Today is just my thoughts and emotions running wild and coming out....as they come up. This is much how my blog originally started way back when, so I guess I have gone back to the basics. Again...I have no idea what is going on inside me. I don't even recognize me right now. Literally I feel as if I woke up someone else on Oct. 16th. All the things I thought I wanted.....thought I needed.....thought I felt, are gone. I feel this determination for something, but I am clueless as to what. My sleeping hours are short but restful. My waking hours are long and full. It seems I am piling a great deal on myself, maybe testing myself to see what I can accomplish. I actually have been accomplishing. I have some directions but where it is leading I have no idea.

I suddenly have quit worrying about the unimportant things. I don't care what people think or say about me (which I really didn't before....except when I did) and I don't feel the need to be heard anymore. That is huge because that is the crux of who I am. Perhaps I have felt so out of control for so long and truly without a voice.....that I have needed to be heard. Maybe this blog is my need to be heard or maybe....it is just my way of screaming into a pillow at the top of my lungs? Again...no idea. I feel as if a part of me if fighting to keep my head above water, while another part is swimming beautiful with no regard for time, distance or depth.

I know I spoke of determination.....and this is something that is so powerful inside me right now. I feel determined to accomplish. What? I am really not sure, but there is something and it feels like it is just within my fingertips. I will know it when I touch it, but until then......I keep striving with this unbelievable determination. Does this all sound strange to you? It does to me too!

In spite of all that I am feeling and the words that you are seeing.....I am good. In fact.....I am better than I have been in a very long time. Maybe the reason for this is because I don't feel like me. The me I had become felt faded, old and tired. I imagined myself as some kind of old flowered wallpaper that resided in an old lady's parlor. It was pretty and new at one time, but now it was just a vague reminder of the past. Now though.....I don't feel like that. I feel as if things are changing. I don't feel so faded. I feel as if the color is coming back and with it the fire that gives me those extreme emotions I have been lacking. I haven't felt happy in a long time, but happiness (true happiness) seems to be sneaking its way back in. I don't feel so tired now. I feel refreshed and ready to greet whatever my future holds and I don't seem to dread the bad but honestly am looking forward to the good which I know is there. The old....I cannot change. If we are lucky......we all get there, but I am not yet there. I still have much to see and do....many to fight with, laugh with and love. Age will come.....but old will always be just up over the next hill and I have many hills yet to climb before I get there.

So who am I now? I have absolutely no idea. All I know is who I was when I went to bed Oct. 15th and who I woke up to be Oct. 16th are two vastly different people. Will the new me remain? Will the old me come back? Only time and God will tell, but for now there is change and change is good. Right?

Riverside Cafe of Derby...A Fantastic Experience

Okay...okay! I know I said I was on hiatus....and really....I am, but when something excites me.....I just gotta blog. Today I was excited. In fact I was so excited that it threw me out of my week long...."I want to take my toys and go home," funk. Well at least it put a band aid on it and made me want to take the time to blog.

So what am I so excited about? Derby has a new restaurant. For those of you who are scratching your head and wondering what a Derby is and why a new restaurant is so exciting....I will tell you. Derby is a small town just to the south of Wichita. It is quickly becoming the gateway town to the town I live in. It is where I work, have doctors and do most of my shopping. Now Derby has been full of fast food for many years and has one truly outstanding home grown pizza place,  a great home grown bar/burger place and recently with the expansion of Derby....we have been inundated with many chains such as Applebees, but Derby has lacked a really great down home, comfort food type of restaurant. Well I am pleased to say...no not even pleased...let's say ecstatic....no ecstatic isn't even strong enough. Let us say OVER THE MOON....that Derby now has a FANTASTIC new home town restaurant called Riverside Cafe of Derby.

I had heard from several friends that it was there. It is on the main drag which is K-15/Baltimore in the old Post Office strip mall. You can see the sign from the road, and although I knew it was there....I really figured it was just a flash in the pan type place. Perhaps I should pick up a Wichita Eagle from time to time and actually read. If I had....I would have known that Paul and Heather Cohlmia had opened this fabulous little place (3000 sq. ft. of little) in September and it has been doing land office business since. Maybe the reason for it's success is the fact that before Derby, the Cohlmia's opened the original Riverside Cafe in Wichita, on West 13th (in Riverside) and with it's success then opened another one in Wichita on Woodlawn in the old Livingston's building. From that success they decided upon Derby as their next spot. Lucky us!!!!!! By the time it made it to Derby...it was a household name amongst the connoisseurs of fine down home comfort food. Again....perhaps if I ever ventured beyond the borders of Derby....I might have known all of this. The fact that I didn't though....made today a wonderful surprise.

Z had more tests this morning...yet again and because of the tests, he couldn't eat before we left the house. By the time the tests were through....he was starving and there is little to eat up by Via Christi St. Francis,  so we made our way back to Derby, dropped off a prescription and decided to try out this new little restaurant that everyone was raving about. To see it from the outside, you would think it would be small and I was expecting maybe a little soda fountain type place with a couple of tables. Boy was I wrong. Now mind you....we walked in at 10:15 in the morning....and the place was busy. It has a nice ambiance of restaurant, soda fountain and friendly gathering place. It is meticulously clean and you get to seat yourself...something I like very much as I like to put myself strategically to watch people. Yes...I am a people watcher. Almost the moment you are comfortably seated in either a booth or at a table.....your drink order is taken and you are handed a menu, and believe me....this is SOME menu. They serve breakfast all day and have everything from appetizers to desserts and salads, burgers and full meals. It is the meals that really get you though. Talk about comfort. You can have ham and beans, chicken and noodles, goulash and swiss steak and this is just the beginning. Every comfort food you can think of was there and if you couldn't find what you were looking for on the menu....all you had to do was look on the back chalk board wall where everyday of the week offered three palate pleasing choices. I was drooling before I even ordered. Honestly.....I almost couldn't decide what to order. I wanted it ALL!!!

Z ended up settling on 1/3 pound hamburger with fries and I got the hot meatloaf sandwich. Honestly....the key ingredients here were the french fries and the meatloaf. A place is only as good as its fries and if you can make a good meatloaf.....then everything else is a piece of cake. The fries were wonderful. They were not greasy, nor were they wimpy. They were simply perfect. And as for that meatloaf....oh yum. It was about a 5-6" slice of meatloaf over two slices of white bread covered in brown gravy. It was also served with "real" mashed potato's complete with chunks of potato. It was to die for.

There was little conversation going on between Z and I as we were much too busy snarfing. Once done though I asked Z what his opinion was as if I didn't get a hint from the speed and accuracy in which he chowed his bruncheakfast. He let me know that this burger surpassed all others and being the burger snob he is.....he will likely never eat a burger from anywhere else. The fries he guarded like a pit bull and after my first taste I was no longer allowed to even gaze upon them. They were his.

The experience....and yes I say experience because that is what it really was. You simply don't expect to find something this wonderful in a town of fast food and chain restaurants. But the experience was amazing. After eating I just sat there looking around and planning my next visit back. I was so impressed that I even asked to speak to the owner and let her know that this blog was in the works. A place like this needs to be cherished and supported as Derby is now one lucky little town to have such a culinary establishment and I guarantee I will be dining there whenever money permits. And speaking of money....the menu is very reasonably priced. A family can enjoy a wonderful meal and not break the bank or have eaters remorse afterwards.

So you see....good food and a great atmosphere can do wonders for a broken spirit and this morning....thanks to Riverside Cafe of Derby and the wonderfully friendly staff....my spirit was soaring. To all the locals....do yourself a favor and give this place a try and for anyone not local that decides to travel down Derby way....the Riverside Cafe is a must try.

Not Goodbye......Just.......See Ya Later

Well...if you are tuning in to read about dating life in Lisaland...sorry. Today there are no updates. Partially because I have done nothing to have updated and partially because life is back throwing curve balls again. It appears that I am going to have to pull my fragmented brain together and focus on some immediate issues that need every thought process I have available. This means things that usually work better in fragments may temporarily fall by the wayside. Blogging happens to be one of those things.

Right now....life is requiring my full attention and as much as I would really like to run and hide....I have to meet it head on. This means I am going to have to use all of my mental and physical resources and there will be little time left for much else. Of course....we all know that blogging has become my therapy, so who knows...you maybe hearing from me sooner than later....just so I can vent, but the topic days will be on hiatus for awhile.

I am a bit sad about this as I set a goal for myself of daily blogging and I have done a pretty darn good job up til now. Please know that I am not going anywhere....I will definitely be back. I just need a little real world adjustment in Lisaland. Wow....this last week of my 48th year is looking to be a doozie. Please all who read...if you would....keep me and my little world in your thoughts and prayers and keep an eye out....because I will return.

This is not goodbye...only....see ya later.

Shrimp and Brownies....Yum!

Oh my word. Today has been a Monday of epic proportions. In fact....today has been a Monday that even other Monday's fear. Trust me....later in the week I have some wonderful "rant" material. Today though.....we will do what we do best on Mondays....and that is talk food.

Again this week I have some guest recipes. One is from an old internet friend and another is from a new internet friend. The first one comes from a gentleman who I met years ago back when I used to frequent political message boards. This man was always a gentleman even in the face of those who were less than respectful. He earned my respect early on and was always a favorite of mine. After I quit the boards though...I lost track of this dear man until he showed up on facebook and little did I know....he is quite the chef. Today is one of Greg T.'s recipes, Tequila Lime Shrimp with Peppers.....and it sounds absolutely delicious.

The second recipe comes from a new internet friend who follows my blog. J'nelle is the young mother of three and only in the last year has she been really learning to cook. Her favorite thing to do is take something that is considered a "convenience" food and tweak it to give it a homemade flair. J'nelle's Caramely Delicious Brownies sound like the perfect end to a perfect meal and so easy too because she uses a box brownie mix.

So without further ado....let's get these recipes started!

Tequilla Lime Shrimp with Peppers

1 LB. Jumbo shrimp (26-30 per pound)
1/2 coarsely chopped green bell pepper
1/2 coarsely chopped red bell pepper
2 coarsely chopped Annaheim chili peppers
1 finely chopped Jalapeno
1/2 cup diced white or red onions
1/2 cup sliced ripe olives
2 sticks thinly sliced fresh celery
1/2 LB. thinly sliced mushrooms (Button, Portabella or Shitake)
1 can diced tomatos, drained
1/2 cup finely minced fresh cilantro

2 to 3 tbsp olive oil
3 cans Campbell's Cream of Shrimp soup
1-1/2 cans milk or Half-n-Half
1/2 cup fancy shredded Pepper Jack cheese
1 LB. your choice of pasta (penna, mosticiolli, spaghetti, fettucini, etc.)
1 cup crushed tortilla chips (Nacho Cheese Dorritos works nicely)
1 pkg premium quality taco seasoning mix
2 tsp Spanish Chili Powder
2 or 3 cloves fresh, finely minced garlic
Salt and Pepper to taste

Saute seafood in olive oil until shrimp are pink and nearly done, drain and save oil, set seafood aside. Saute vegetables with garlic in olive oil only until onions are opaque and peppers and celery are still firm. Add soup, milk, sauteed seafood and spices to vegetables, bring to a boil, then reduce heat to simmer for 15 minutes. While simmering, prepare pasta. When pasta is done, drain and serve on large plates sprinkled with cilantro, tortilla chips and cheese with soup mixture ladled over the top.

This is great recipe which feeds 6 to 8 people. Serve with cold beer, white wine or your favorite soft drink.
Don't expect leftovers, this one is very tasty and fattening.

Caramely Delicious Brownies

Your favorite packaged boxed brownie mix
caramel ice cream syrup
1 pkg semi-sweet or milk chocolate morsels

Prepare brownie mix per directions and put in backing dish or pan, but before baking, squeeze caramel syrup and pool three or four places in the batter. Then take a knife and swirl the caramel throughout the batter. Bake according to directions. When done while still hot, pour the package of chocolate morsels over the top of the brownies and then cover the dish/pan with foil for 15 min. After 15 min., remove foil and morsels will be melted. Take a knife and cover evenly.  Let cool another 15 min. and serve. They are so gooey and delicious....not to mention very easy!

Well there you have it....today's recipes and I would like to thank Greg T. and J'nelle for their wonderful recipes. If you would like to be a guest on My Favorite Recipes please email me, message me or facebook me and let me know. Who knows....you could be next!

Here's hoping that your day has been better than mine and that what is left of it is fantastic. Happy Monday everyone!