From the Archives: The Cheating Game

Today I heard......someone on tv talking about marriage and cheating and when and where it might be acceptable. Really? It reminded me of a blog I wrote a while back in response to an email I received. They were asking my opinion and I gave it. Since this is one of those days where time is limited, I thought I would take you for a walk down memory lane and pull this one from the archives. Let me take you back to May 8, 2012 to my blog.....The Cheating Game.

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The other day when I put a call out for blog ideas I received ideas not only from facebook and the blog comments but I also got a few fb messages and an email or two. Some were silly, some were off the cuff and some where a little more serious. So far...I have decided to do all that have been offered. I am really wanting to stretch my ability to write on a multitude of subjects and today's is quite the subject. I am going to write about one of the more serious topics offered me. I received an email on this topic and I found the email to be every bit as interesting as the topic. I chose this topic as it is one that I myself have had experience with, both growing up and in my adult life and I found the content of the email intriguing. Before I begin...here is an excerpt from said email:

"Please use 'cheating' as one of your topics......... I don't know why people cheat. I have seen it happen to many of my friends but I was really shocked when it happened to us. My relationship is not perfect but then whose is? It has lasted many years tho and I do not now or have I ever regretted my choice in choosing who I am spending my life with. Things are really good for us except for the fact that there is cheating going on. It has been going on for many years and it is now a cycle that seems to be uncapable of breaking. I think we both know what is going on and I think we both know that the other knows. It is unspoken so far but I feel that one day it will all come out and our lives will crumble. We have kids and I know our kids think we are one of the few in tact families still around. I will tell you that I know the cheating has not occurred with only one person. It is not a "love affair" situation. That is why I am confused. There have been numerous affairs over the years and there has been no time table for when they happen or when they end. There have even been overlapping affairs and funny enough we have been able to maintain love and respect for each other through it all. This is assuming that we both know what I think we both know and that what I think we both know is happening. Okay any way, could you please tell me what you think about all of this? Could you please tell me how you feel about cheating? I am not looking for you to fix this only to put it into perspective. Maybe we will both read this together and it will open up a conversation. Please though tell me how you feel about cheating and at the same time you can use it as one of your topics."

Wow! Intriguing....right? First let me say that I do not know the person that emailed me this. I don't even think they live in my part of the country and if I did know them....I would not be using it as a topic. Second let me say that I am not a therapist, an expert or anything close to either of those things. I am simply a woman with an opinion and that emailer and anyone else who reads this is how I am writing this. That...and it is interesting subject matter and I would like to hear other opinions too. So please feel free to comment.

Let me just say right up front......I have no idea why people cheat. I assume that there are as many reasons for cheating as there are people doing it. My first thought would be that somewhere deep inside there is unhappiness. Perhaps they married or got into a relationship too early, maybe one or both of the people in the couple changes over time or maybe they just fall out of love. To me I always thought that cheating was the beginning of the end for a relationship...in today's world though and possibly even in times gone by...if the cheater is good with spreading themselves around and the one being cheated on is okay with living in denial....then the status quo seems to continue on with neither party ever rocking the boat. I guess that is okay for some, but I could not and would not do it.

The emailer made the statement "There have even been overlapping affairs and funny enough we have been able to maintain love and respect for each other through it all." As I read this I had to question that statement. They have been able to maintain love and respect for each other through it all? How is that possible? How do you love and respect someone and then cheat on them? And it doesn't sound as if it was once, but many times over.  How do you take from the person you are bound to and give someone else that intimacy and parts of yourself that only your spouse/significant other should have and still claim respect for them? In my opinion (and that is what you are asking for) that shows no respect. In fact...it shows such a lack of respect for your spouse, your relationship, your family, the person you are cheating with and most of all....yourself.

As I said...there are probably a zillion reason why someone chooses to cheat. I am also sure that there are bad marriages, open unhappiness and family issues that cause cheating, but does that justify the situation? I know too that in the new modern world....cheating happens often. I know that people even have marriages/relationships where cheating is built in, but knowing a little about human nature...I don't know how it ever works. Humans are jealous and territorial by nature and cheating always leads to destruction. Men and women may like to play the field but in most cases if the cheater found out that his/her spouse was also cheating....that simply wouldn't fly. It would be a blow to pride, self esteem and the relationship as a whole. Few cheaters feel that what is good for goose is also good for the gander. 

My suspicion is that there is more going on in this relationship and in most cheating relationships than anyone wants to admit. I totally believe that some who cheat do not see their intimacy with someone outside their relationship as loving or lasting....but merely an act in the moment. It is more a bodily function than a deeply intimate tie. Unfortunately for most of these individuals neither their partner in the relationship nor the one they are cheating with sees their intimacy in the same way. Because of this it is double whammy to the cheater if they get caught because ultimately they have hurt not one but two individuals with this act that can be called nothing less than selfish.

I also question where a cheaters head is at when they have children and cheat. If you are married and cheat and get caught, what does that do to the kids? Even if the marriage makes it through the cheating...what kind of an example is being set? Do we really want to teach our kids that cheating is okay or that being cheated on is acceptable treatment in a relationship? Do we really want them to think that breaking a trust in such a huge way should be easily forgiven and that the one cheated on somehow deserves the disrespect? These are the things that mold young people and set the path for how they will treat others in the future. The cheater is also risking their relationship with their kids when this happens as often kids remain loyal to the parent who was cheated on and seldom the cheater.

In case you haven't figure it out and are wondering...I am not a fan of cheating. I have been cheated on and trust me...coming from that place...cheating sucks! Feeling as if your best was not good enough for someone and knowing that they loved and respected you so little that they could treat your relationship like that is a difficult blow to overcome. And no...I did not stick around to be hurt again.

All this being said...I don't live inside this couples relationship or anyone elses for that matter. I don't know what goes on and as I said before...I don't know why people cheat. All I do know is that cheating is never good for anyone involved and cheaters almost always get caught. In the end someone always gets hurt and you have to ask if the fallout is really worth the game?! So emailer...here is my blog and thank you for the topic.

Next to Normal

I think I have mentioned before my love for music theater. One of my dearest wishes is to someday see an actual Broadway production. I have been enamored since seeing The Sound of Music as a child and my affection has only grown increasingly larger as I have seen Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat, Rent and Hairspray. Of course classics such as The Sound of Music, West Side Story and Seven Brides for Seven Brothers still stay close to my heart too.

One of the perks of the long car rides we have between here and St. Louis is that Z and I switch off on either Pandora or Spotify channels. When it is my turn, you can always know that musicals will be at least one of my picks. It was during one of these that I heard the song I Am the One from the musical Next to Normal. I had never heard it before and I was drawn in to the music immediately. While I had no understanding of the words as they pertained to the musical they still captured me. Once home I went to my trusty youtube to find out more about this musical. Once I read up on it, I was intrigued.

Next to Normal was on Broadway in 2009. The show is about a family living with a mother and wife who is suffering from bipolar disorder caused by the death of her child, the same child that now both haunts and try's to guide her to him. It details her dips into depression and the highs and lows of the disorder and the effect that they have on her family. Dark? Just a bit....and how could they make a musical  about of all things, bipolar disorder? Heck....they can make a musical about anything now a days. I knew though that I really wanted to see this. Sadly, other than a few excerpts on youtube, it looked as if I was out of luck. The touring company apparently is no longer touring and my chance to see it locally came and went in 2012! Drats! I guessed I would just have to be happy with the soundtrack.....and I was.....until yesterday. As I was just browsing through youtube I came upon the actual full length musical recorded from Broadway. Eeeeeeeee!!!!! You can only imagine my excitement. I wasted no time in watching.

When you have built something up in your head, there is always that little fear that the reality might not be as great as your head-hype. Nothing could have been further from the truth with Next to Normal. Somewhere I had read that the producers of the musical Rent also produced NTN. I could see it, yet it was still its own entity. Nothing I had ever seen before. The show was very true to life showing the ugliness that can result from this mental disorder and it also showed the difficulties of treatment and how it can tear a family down to its very core. Mixed in with the darkness and I say darkness because that is how you feel watching this woman deal with her illness, there is also humor because just like in real life......no one can survive without it. The music is beautifully done and the songs capture the families struggles from the mothers "You Don't Know" lashing out at her husbands inability to understand her illness to the daughters heart wrenching "Superboy and the Invisible Girl" describing how she feels living in her dead brothers shadow.

I will say that I have known several people in my life who are bipolar and this actually gave me a view of the disease I didn't have previously. I will also say that surprisingly I had tears running down my face during much of the show. I had no idea I would be so affected.

If you get a chance to watch it and musicals are your thing....I highly encourage it. It is not your run of the mill, normal high spirited musical. Of course I guess neither was Rent, but you know what I mean. It deals with tough subject matter and there is adult content and language throughout, so you might not want to watch this one with the kids. All in all though, I loved this show and I guarantee it just might give you insight into mental disease you didn't previously have. I am going to put the link for NTN here>>>>>Next to Normal. Since it is likely illegal for this to be on youtube....it may not be there long. If you do though get the chance to watch, I would love to know your thoughts.

So today.....I like...... no actually love.....Next to Normal!

Thank God for Obamacare

You remember when you were young and you got in trouble at school? Your parents always told you that whatever punishment you got at school, you got double at home. There would be no questions asked....just punishment. How about if you threw a tantrum in public? Likely you would be snatched up then and there and busted for all the world to see. The same happened if you acted up in church except you either got quietly pinched (and you better not yell "Owwww!") or you would be marched out to the car in front of the entire church and then spanked. Then there was that whole...."Kids should be seen and not heard," in a group of adults and you never talked back to your elders. I don't care what they said. You kept your mouth shut! And as far as entitlement went....we didn't even know the word. As far as we knew....we were entitled to nothing. No one owed us a thing. If we wanted something we worked for it and sometimes we had to work pretty darn hard. There were no handouts and things like food stamps and welfare were dirty words. You took nothing from anybody. You worked for what you had. Funny thing is....with all these rules, corporal punishment and work too, we were still kids. We played outside from morning until night in the summer time. We played hard out at recess during school playing kickball, dodge ball or tag and usually came in looking and smelling like thirsty wet puppies. We went fishing, camping and most of us finished high school. A good many went on to graduate college and become quite successful. To this day most of us still bite our tongues around our elders, don't have a melt down every time life doesn't go our way, and we all have a pretty darn good work ethic, so what again was wrong with a paddle on the butt when we acted up, threw a tantrum or were disrespectful?

So jump the clock ahead to now. The very things that we were told not to do as kids and were punished for will now get you a reality tv show. To be given hand outs is something many strive for and even make it a full time job to get and kids are pasty white with bad eyes because their days are spent glued to some sort of technology playing games or looking at social media. With the banning of corporal punishment, it took authority away from teachers and even parents. Once kids realized that there were no consequences for their actions all hell broke loose. Respect is a word that is almost as antiquated as the action. Kids have no boundaries so they talk to anyone, any time and any way they choose to. They have no regards for anyone especially their elders and throwing a tantrum for all to see (especially if it makes it to youtube) is some how a status symbol. And we scratch our heads and wonder why there is bullying, parent and grandparent abuse, a huge rise in teen promiscuity, drinking, drugs and the welfare system is over run. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure all of this out. Sigh

I'm just wondering when all of this happened? My kids got swatted when they were in trouble...albeit I often had to take them out the way of judgmental eyes so as not to risk getting SRS called on me. My kids were taught to respect their elders and that nothing was given to them. Still though....it is hard to instill these fundamental values when society screams something different. According to new societal rules....you can act how you want in school and there are little to no consequences, but act like a kid and get into a fist fight and you are looking at jail time. Teachers have lost respect because they are either too familiar with the kids and try to be friends or because they try to enforce rules without consequences and the kids just laugh at them. If your kid acts up in church, you better bet that there will be annoyed eyes on you, but dare to take the child out or swat the child right there and those annoyed eyes become judgmental eyes and you risk getting turned in for child abuse. The same goes if you are in a public place and your child decides to push boundaries and throws a fit. Do nothing and you are a horrible parent. Spank the child, swat the child or even scold the child in front of others and you are abusive.

What about reality tv? Millions of dollars have been made in the last decade on bad behavior. First you have the idiots that do highly stupid and dangerous stuff and.....we don't think an impressionable kid is going to try it? Stupid and dangerous is stamped into the DNA of most adolescents and teens. Make it cool to do this stuff by giving it a world wide audience and you have kids risking their lives for five seconds of fame. Brilliant. How about the 16 and Pregnant series? Granted it was originally made to show the rough side of getting pregnant as a teen. What it actually did though was catapult these young mothers into the lime light and make them famous. Suddenly girls were getting pregnant just so they could be on the show. That was an enormous backfire. Then there are all the shows where entitlement was the basis for the show and the tantrums for not getting what they wanted were what the viewers tuned in for every week. It started with the My Sweet 16's where we told our young girls that a 16th birthday party with food, music and a sleepover was no longer good enough. Suddenly girls wanted and expected a party that would rival most peoples weddings. Then there is the whole Bridezilla thing. Granted....getting married is crazy and stressful and it can put everyone involved on edge, HOWEVER there is never a reason to act like some of these women do. They disrespect their wedding party, their parents, all involved in the planning of their wedding and usually and most especially their soon to be spouse. The thing we often learn is that this entitlement they feel is not just during the wedding. It has been life long with no boundaries and no consequences and we just get to see the final product of complete and total permissiveness. Bottom line...everything my generation was taught was negative and destructive is now being spot lighted as a way to get attention and even fame in this generation.

Because of shows like Big Brother, The Real World and Jersey Shore.....shows whose highest percentage of viewers are teens and young adults.....promiscuity, drinking and partying are the norms. People from these shows have become famous world wide for bad behavior and our kids are taking their cues from them. In today's world you are a nobody if you have reached 30 and haven't had either a DUI, an STD or you haven't been arrested, finger printed and a mug shot taken. Forget the days of striving for a college degree and a good job. Those apparently are as antiquated as respect is.

Somewhere along the way we lost our values, our sense of right and wrong and yes......even our morality. We have replaced wanting a secure future for ourselves with wanting five seconds of fame and it really doesn't matter if that fame is brought on by the positive or the negative. We are now raising a generation whose biggest influence is no longer family and teachers, but video games, social media and reality tv. The lessons being taught are not respect for self and others, hard work and education. Instead they are; do what you want, when you want and how you want. The rules apparently no longer apply to them. The scary thing is.....this generation of entitled, disrespectful and fame seeking individuals are our future leaders. All I can say to that is.....thank God for Obamacare! By the time this generation gets into office...thanks to Obamacare....very few of my generation will be left alive to see it!

Confrontational...and All That Implies

As a child I was very shy. In fact....you know that child that hides behind her mothers leg when talked to? That was me. As I grew older I was comfortable with my friends but still very non-confrontational. I never spoke up or stood up for myself because I was never taught to. My mom was always there to fight my battles and speak up for me. This served me well until I was shoved out the door to attend college away from home. I deliberately or at the very least subconsciously sabotaged myself before I even left home. Once I left I had no adult problem solving skills so it was not long before I was back home.

I think my mothers need to control all in her hemisphere because she felt so out of control was part of what kept me so co-dependent for so long. There was a part of me that fought and rebelled at every turn, but not in the areas I needed to be fighting. I had no idea what I was fighting for or even against, all I knew was I didn't like being controlled by my mother....unless of course someone was mean to me or confronted me on something. Then I was that little girl hiding behind her mothers leg again. What was cute at three was not so appealing at 23. I think this was part of the reason I got into an abusive relationship. I was running from my mother but I ran straight into the arms of someone who wanted to control me just as badly as she did.....and I let him. Where Mom was doing it with my best interest at heart....he was doing it for his best interest.

When I met my husband, he started making me stand on my own two feet. It was a good mix of being there for me and making me be there for myself. Little did either of us know....he was preparing me for a time down the road where he would no longer be there and I would be completely on my own. I was learning though and maybe in some ways....I learned a little too well.

The first time I ever remember standing up to someone and down right getting in their face was over some bill of my mothers. It was when she was going through chemo and she just didn't have it in her to fight anymore. She had gone around and around with this particular company and she thought she had it taken care of....only to find the next month that she was still charged. She was near tears and I couldn't handle that. I grabbed the phone from her hand and I lit into the representative on the other end. I was on that phone for nearly an hour chewing out every supervisor I could get a hold of while my mother looked on in shock. She had never ever seen this side of me before. Neither had anyone else. By the time I was finished the bill was taken care of and they had promised to send Mom a hand written apology for all the grief they had put her through. Did they? I have no idea, but it was the first time I had taken control of a situation and seen it through to the very end like that. I remember feeling a little bit empowered. Again....little did I know that this would be great practice for when I was dealing with insurance companies and medical agencies. Who knew?

Eventually I was on my own with just the kids and I had to face the world without a leg to hide behind. I learned that a single mother with kids is a target for every shady car salesman, the IRS, insurance companies and anyone else who wants to pull a fast one. I found myself having no choice but to stand up for myself and fight so that people knew I was not someone to take advantage of. I also had to learn what my mother never did where my kids were concerned. Kids have to be taught the skills and be empowered to stand up for themselves and fight their own battles. They also have to learn to take the consequences for their actions both good and bad. However, there are times as a parent that a situation is out of their skill set or you have a child without a voice (like David) and you have to step in. Perhaps this is why I am fairly well known amongst some teachers and personnel in the school district. That is not a bad thing!

In the last few years I joke about the fact that I have little or no filter where my mouth is concerned but the fact is....it is true! I have gone from hiding and fearing conflict to jumping directly into its path. I have even been told that I am a very confrontational person...and all that implies. Whatever that means! I do however, find it very difficult anymore to just let things be or not say something when I feel something should be said. Perhaps it is age or maybe I have just found my voice. Maybe it is a combination of the two. With this new voice though, I have had to work really hard on when and where to use it. I am learning to pick my battles carefully. Trust me....this lesson has come from trial and error.

Politically I have lots of opinions and just as many hot buttons that can set me off. I have learned you have to know both your audience and your topic and again....pick them carefully. You also have to be careful of how you word things. The old saying that "You can tell someone to go to hell and make them look forward to the journey," applies here. People don't have to agree with me, but I would like to be eloquent enough to make someone at least think. The same is true for family situations. You can't brush something under the rug time and time again and then suddenly get pushed to the point where you go off on the wrong thing. I have done that. It is a shock for my family too as I still try to stay pretty non-confrontational with them. I have learned that it does no good to make a point if no one is listening or no one cares. However, there have been a couple of times when the buttons where pushed and my mouth over rode my good sense. It is kind of like going from Lisa 2.0 to Lisa 10.0 without any filter at all. It is not pretty and I usually come out defeating my own purpose when this happens. I am learning to avoid the people and places that can bring out these strong opinions.

Anymore I try to avoid the hot buttons of both politics and family. I will speak out if I feel like my words will be heard or have an effect, but otherwise I really try to reign in the confrontation. Every once in a while though......

Trust me, the filter is far from in tact. My health insurance company is quite aware of this as are several doctors offices. I have learned though along the way that beating a dead horse doesn't make the horse any more or less dead. You can only say so much and either you make your point or resign yourself to the fact that it has fallen on deaf ears and you have done all you can. Case and point.....a certain sports editor of a certain small town paper. At a certain point you just realize that you can't fix stupid, egotistical or brainwashed....and to continue trying is a waste of time, breath and a good blog.

So now you know a little more about me......so I suggest you do your best not to piss this filterless old woman off! ;)

Put on Your Dancing Shoes

So I am having a bit of a late start today. My little one is out of sorts and I am waiting for him to let me know what is going on with him. So far this morning it has been nothing but snuggles and catnaps. On the whole, not a bad way to spend the first hours of the day, but when you have a special needs kids who is not really verbal, I do more watching than napping. My two main concerns are seizures or a shunt malfunction. The seizures are more scary than they are life threatening for the most part, but the shunt malfunction can be deadly. That is why when he gets very quiet and doesn't want to play or do much of anything, I have to watch for signs of fever, throwing up and lethargy. So far we aren't there. He just had breakfast and is now in his room dumping his toys saying "yee haw." I will take this as a good sign.

Many people have told me that they feel for me and don't know how I do it having a special needs child. I think it would be very easy to fall into the poor me hype if I believed it, but the fact is....I have never felt anything but blessed where my little guy is concerned. God and I talked a lot when David was in the NICU those first few months. As he lay between life and death day after day....I realized that I didn't care what his health issues might turn out to be, I just wanted my boy to have a chance at life. I have been nothing but grateful for each day of his life since. It was adversity that definitely changed me for the better.

Adversity, pain and even suffering are often the things that teach us the greatest life lessons and open our eyes like they have never before been opened. These things are humbling and often wash the grains of selfishness, feelings of self pity and attitudes of entitlement from our sight. They open us up to feelings of gratitude and appreciation for just what we do have. Overcoming adversity in life is what helps to grow a deep inner strength that will serve us well and often in the future.

Monday night all of this kind of came home to me while watching Dancing With the Stars. I have always been a devoted fan as dancing has always been my secret ambition, forget that I have no rhythm, skill and I was blessed with two left feet. Still though, I have watched true ugly duckling feet emerge into light, airy, delicate swans on that show. It gives me hope. This season though, the show seems to be filled with people who are dancing to overcome, fight or just out-run adversity. Some seem to be trying to find what they once had...but lost, others want the world to see them differently and still others are standing up and facing adversity straight in the eye and fighting back. Probably the two most amazing are Jack Osbourne and Valerie Harper.  Osbourne is the son of Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne. Osbourne was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, another autoimmune disease that could eventually leave him wheelchair bound and even take his life. Now though he can dance and he intends to make the best of his time on the show. Funny how that Osbourne family kind of started out as the dysfunctional family we tuned into to laugh at and make us feel better about our own dysfunction. Now though.....they are growing up (all of them) and giving us reason to cheer them on. High five Jack for fighting back!

The other star who has to be the comeback kid story of the year is Valerie Harper of Mary Tyler Moore and Rhoda fame. Earlier this year Harper was given a cancerous brain tumor death sentence with only a couple of months to live. Today, some eight months later her disease seems to be in remission. On researching Harper, I found that her doctors feel that it is not if the cancer comes back but when, however they have no time frame on this and she doesn't seem to be wasting any of that precious time on self pity or what ifs. Instead...she's dancing. Her words were profound when she talked the other night about when she was diagnosed and told of her prognosis. Her first thoughts were "Why me?" Then she said, "Why not me?" She has a wonderful marriage, kids and career. She had really lived for 72 years so why not her? Now though, with her living past her expiration date (as she joked) she is going to do what she thought was unthinkable a few months ago. She is competing on DWTS! Amazing!

Neither Osbourne, Harper or any of the other stars competing this season are working the pity angle. They are there to prove something to themselves first and the rest of the world second and whether they stay in the competition for two weeks or make it to the mirror ball, they will be winners in the fact that they faced their adversity and stepped out of their box. I applaud them all.

Lets face it. We don't get out of this life without some kind of pain, suffering or adversity. They are life lessons....sometimes on how not to do things, sometimes on how we treat people and how they treat us and sometimes....it is  just a lesson in bad things do happen to good people so pick yourself up, dust yourself off and maybe like Osbourne, Harper and the rest.....just put on your dancing shoes!

Changes on the Horizon

Today I heard.....some changes are on the horizon. This means that this week especially, the blogs may either be very short or possibly even non-existent. Fear not though things will all mesh in short order and there will be time for all. I will definitely see to that. Until then though, if you are jonesing for a cmom blog, please feel free to go back and read through the archives. I have around 400+ blogs and hopefully you will find something to entertain you, make you think or possibly even piss you off.

See you soon!

Cmom

I Like........

The weekend was no longer than your average weekend, but somehow this one felt like it dragged. Perhaps it was the incessant migraine that was my constant companion since last Thursday?! I do love fall but it also brings on the weather changes that cause allergies and other nasty occurrences to my upper respiratory system and head. Thankfully though, today the pain is barely noticeable so I am hoping it is on it's way out.

So after this long weekend I think I will start this week out on a more positive note. I think I will shower this blog with likes today. Sounds like a plan to me.

I like: 
going to bed hearing the rain and the occasional rumble of thunder while lightening flashes in the distance.

hearing David laugh. Not just a laugh but that deep down almost makes him snort laugh.

smelling a baby fresh from the bath. That sweet smell attached to little fingers and toes all wrapped in a towel is beyond compare. Perhaps you need to be a momma or grandma to truly appreciate it though.

both the first day and last day of the school year. The excitement on the last day knowing that there is weeks ahead of family time with no time constraints, and the first day knowing that order and schedule are returning to your life.

ice cream in the winter time and hot tea in the summer.

the smell of the kitchen when a roast has been cooking all day.

the feel of towels fresh from the dryer.

an amazing book.

the sound of clothes on the clothesline whipping in the Kansas summer wind.

the first snow of winter (but after that I am over it), the first real storm of spring, hot summer nights and cool autumn evenings.

sitting around a fire with my friends on a cool evening and talking for hours.

movie days with my kids.

snuggles from my puppies.

hugs from my pit bull.

the sound of the train in the distance as I drift off to sleep.

planning and organizing.

Most of all though.....I love a clean house and mine is long over due for a cleaning. Here's to a busy, happy and productive day for all. Happy Monday everyone!