History, Legacy and Laura Ingalls Wilder

Travel with me if you will to a time in the not so distant future. Let's say we travel to 2168. It is a mere 150 years into time where the likelihood of anyone currently reading this still being alive is nil.

Life in 2168 will obviously be much different than our current times. Perhaps daily transportation will actually have taken to the skies, maybe earth will not be our only choice in living and vacationing destinations and hopefully mankind will have exceeded 2018 in their ability to stomp out the deadly diseases of both the body and society.

It is likely that if we were to actually jump ahead, we would not even recognize the world in 2168. Their slang, fashion and ideals would assuredly be vastly different and likely these future beings would have no real grasp on who we were in 2018 as a civilization or a people. In fact, the only thing left of us and the foot print of our existence will be the literature, art, architecture and statues we leave behind. These are the things that tell the future world that we were here, that we existed and without us.....for better or worse....that they would not be here. 

Now let's take this one step further and let's imagine that in 2168, they have their own ideas about how the world should be and their own "political correctness" if you will and the past (our current world) doesn't fit with their view. What if they decided because 9/11 or Vietnam or the Obama administration didn't fit in with their "current" belief system that they would just gloss over them in history books or simply make no reference to them at all? What if Martin Luther King Jr's personal life was looked into and something was found that the people of 2168 found unseemly and therefore his statues were unceremoniously and disrespectfully yanked down and all of his good works, his dreams and his fighting for this country were down played and lost to future generations?

What if F. Scott Fitzgerald, James Joyce or William Faulkner were authors pulled from shelves and their works banned because their writing was not in keeping with the ideals or morality of the up and coming times? What if the art of Pablo Picaso, Georgia O'Keefe and even Andy Warhol were pulled from museums and hidden from the world because they spoke of a time chosen to be forgotten or they saw the world in a way that 2168 found distasteful or at odds with the world they choose to currently believe in?

What if the people of our time such as President John F. Kennedy, Mahatma Gandhi or General Norman Schwarzkopf were either bastardized or written out of history completely? And what if the civil rights movement, the fall of the Berlin Wall and the election of the first black president were made unimportant or the history of the events were dissected and rewritten to fit the modern worlds way of thinking? What if our world of 2018 became falsified, denied and forgotten in history?

Sadly we don't have to wait for the future for these things to happen. Right here, right now we are doing this. Works of literature are being pulled from shelves and banned because their ideology and modern day ideology don't mesh. Historic figures and symbols are being brought down and destroyed and history itself is being glossed over, reinvented or completely written out of our kids history books because we don't like what the past says about us as a people or more over, we don't want to admit that people regardless of the day and age are human and therefore capable of both good and bad. What is wrong with us? 

The fact is, our history is rich with stories of hard working people who have fought to make lives for themselves. Have we all always been on equal ground? No. Since the beginning of time, man in his desire to rise above his particular circumstance has always found it necessary to step on others and at some point in history, every race, creed and color has been viewed as "less than", property or slave labor. This goes clear back to the earliest of times. It is part of the frailty of man, the ego, the desire to have it all....regardless of who suffers. With it though, there have been great times in our history when great men fought and died for what they viewed as good and right. Every age has had its good history and it's bad and each was full of people of the time writing, drawing and living life as they saw it, felt it and existed in it. The language of the time may not be the same as ours, in fact by today's standards it might even be viewed as insensitive, disrespectful or racist.....but at that time.....it was how these people spoke to and about one another and what is seen as wrong to us now, was simply life to all back then. Good or bad it was a part of our history and something that has to be recognized not glossed over or ignored. In the words of George Santayana, "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." By denying and running from our past and our history, it doesn't mean we can avoid it, it simply means we are missing out on knowing key facts about what went right and what went wrong and maybe how to fix those things in the future.

When I hear of books such as the Laura Ingalls Wilder series possibly being taken from our shelves and her name being stripped from the prestigious Laura Ingalls Wilder Award because she talked about Native Americans, then known as Indians, in the only way she knew how, I am sad. Wilder wrote of what she knew back then. She was not being racist, cruel or insensitive. She was writing about a time that people of today could not possibly understand. She was writing about a life that was hard in a new nation where people were trying to find their way. In the world she knew, Indians were the enemy and to be feared. She wrote what her world at the time was like and for us to view it as more than that is simply ridiculous.

Like it or not, our history is made up of good people and bad people. It is made up of slave owners, abolitionists, free thinkers, religious zealots, the Confederate flag, outlaws, thieves, soldiers, people who stood up for what they thought was right and people who perpetuated bad for their own personal gain. And even in today's world, much of this remains. Good or bad, each day we make history. Not all of it is something to be proud of, but it is how we learn, how we grow and how we move forward.

Today we write, draw and create our world based on what we know and on what society dictates. We are leaving behind a legacy with each breath we take in hopes that the future generations can pull from the good we leave behind and understand that in our humanity we are imperfect creatures who make mistakes.....but our mistakes, just like the good we leave are part of our history and simply should not be forgotten.

From Farm-to-Table to War

The Red Hen Restaurant, Lexington, VA. The name sounds quiet and homey and quite honestly, it might be on many of our dining lists if we were in the Lexington, VA area. It boasts a cozy atmosphere with farm-to-table dining. Yep! I'm in! The owner is Stephanie Wilkinson and not only does she own and run this quaint little establishment, but she is also director of Main Street Lexington. Wow! She owns a great little restaurant and is active in her community. Bonus! Honestly though, you had me at farm-to-table dining. 

Then Friday, June 22, 2018 happened and by a decision that Wilkinson claims she put to a vote among her staff, she may single-handedly have imploded not only her own business, but much of the business in Historic Downtown Lexington. WHAT......You ask could have caused this? Wilkinson refused service as a business owner to a customer. WHAT? You ask again! Factually, this hot mess is not nearly that simple. The customer that was refused service was Press Secretary Sarah Sanders and since Sanders was there with a group of family members, it wasn't just about her, but a whole table. To make it a bit worse, Sanders and her group had come in, been seated and had ordered. She had been recognized by the wait staff who called Wilkinson who was at home at the time and Wilkinson rushed over. Apparently Wilkinson and much of her staff have a liberal leaning politically and having the Republican press secretary dining in their establishment ruffled their feathers.

Upon arriving and seeing the situation, Wilkinson decided to put Sanders ability to stay or go to a vote among her employees and apparently it was decided that Sanders would be given the boot. Wilkinson then asked to speak to Sanders outside and told her that morally and politically she was against Sanders political stance and therefore she would like her to leave. (Apparently the rest of the party were welcome to stay). Sanders politely left and even offered to pay. Wilkinson said their non-served and non-eaten meals were on the house. Needless to say, when the most high profile person at your table is asked to leave an establishment, the rest of the table then follows suit.

All-in-all, it was quite a civil exchange and although I am sure Sanders left feeling a little disrespected not to mention hungry and Wilkinson and her staff probably felt justified and jubilant, all of the civilness wore off the next day when Sanders tweeted about her dining experience the night before. All the civility from the previous night, between the two political factions became an all out war and the center of the this battle was Lexington, VA, a town all too familiar with  civil war of the past. Ironic don't you think?

So three days later, the war continues. There are those commending Wilkinson for standing her ground and just as many if not more, ready to tar and feather her out of her business, her community and maybe even her state. To all of this I say......KNOCK OFF THE CRAP!

I am sure that my opinion is not going to be a popular one as I have seen many conservatives sharpening their proverbial pitch forks ready to see Wilkinson left with nothing except her "misguided" convictions. As a conservative though, I think this is wrong. In my humble opinion, Wilkinson had every right to refuse Sanders service for any reason she chose. This is America people and the right to refuse service for any reason has been a landmark mantra of businesses, especially small businesses for decades. You start a business, build it up and work hard to make it a success and if you want to refuse service to anyone....then you have that right and I really thought my conservative friends realized this back with the whole bakery situation a few years ago.

You all remember the bakery situation..... where the Christian bakery refused to bake a gay wedding cake. I supported that. Not the gay wedding cake, but their right as a business to refuse to do it. That was their business and they had the right to refuse service to anyone they chose. Again.....why shouldn't they have that right? Why should the government, politics or society tell them what their moral compass should be or what they should view as right and wrong?

I am really shocked and amazed at the double standard here and more so, I am shocked that just like before when the couple lost their bakery, their livelihood and had to go through the court of public opinion to the point of almost losing their minds that now Wilkinson and her family are  having to go through the same. How is this right and more so, how do conservatives and liberals alike look themselves in the mirror when they are both so ridiculously hypocritical?

So let me pull out my soapbox here for a minute. Wilkinson! Her business! Her rules! Do I agree with her politics? No, but then again I get along with a lot of people that I don't agree with politically but I learned long ago....people are more than just their political stance. What I do agree with is that she is a hard worker who built up a business and by doing so, she is helping to support a community. Because she chose to refuse service to Sanders does that mean I would never eat at the Red Hen Restaurant? Chances are, I likely would if it were still open and I was in the Lexington area. I did mention that they had me at "farm-to-table," right?  Of course, I would also have gone and bought cakes from the bakery who was forced out of business for their political stance too. Why? Because I support both businesses right to refuse service to anyone they choose! 

I am tired of people pushing their political agendas down peoples throats to the point that they are trying to take our rights away from us. It doesn't matter whether it is your right to own a fire arm, speak freely or turn down a customer, those rights should be not only supported but fought for, because if we don't.....someday those rights will no longer exist.

PFA's....What the Heck is Wrong with People?

The last few weeks have been utterly eye opening to me on so many levels. In what way you ask???? Well I have spent a great deal of time at our county courthouse with my son who has been fighting for custody of his child. Without getting into specifics of his particular case, I will simply leave it at the fact that since my son and his ex's relationship ship has fallen apart, his ex has filed two PFA's against him. For those of you like myself, whose only experience at the courthouse has been their occasional call to jury duty, a PFA is an order of protection filed against a person in a situation involving "alleged" domestic violence, harassment, stalking or sexual assault. In essence, it is a legal action put in place to protect the filer from any of the stated acts by an individual they view as an "alleged" threat.

Now let me say here, up until these last few weeks, I in my naivety believed that PFA's would only be used for good in the world and to help "real" victims in "real" abuse situations. Boy was I wrong!

Two weeks ago was my first trip to court with my son over a PFA. He was going over the second PFA that had been filed against him. The first one filed, he showed up to court to defend himself and his ex did not. The case was dropped but not before my son lost time at work and pay. This time though, I went because I was curious as to how the legal system worked these situations and because I wanted to support my son. My experience there was eye opening to say the least.

In our particular courthouse, both the accuser and the accused are gathered into a room where accusers sit on one side with their support people and the accused on the other side with their support people. Lawyers sit at the back and at the front of the room sit a panel of "judges" whom will hear each case. Both times I have attended in the last couple of weeks, there have been at least 50-75 cases to be heard in a four hour period of time.

It begins with a quick orientation video of the proceedings to follow and then all support people are asked to leave until they are either called as witnesses or the proceedings are over. We wait outside the glass enclosed room. From that point the judge panel spreads out and each judge takes a case, so that at any point in time there are usually 3-4 cases being heard. Some cases are thrown out because the filer doesn't appear, some a bench warrant is made out because the accused doesn't appear and the rest go before the judge to be hashed out, thrown out or continued. It is a long and tedious process that would get on the nerves of the even the most stoic individual.

As a person who loves to be a mouse on a wall in a crowded situation and just listen and learn, I listened and learned a lot.

I watched intently as each case was called. Many of the cases were called and there were no lawyers present so one or both of those involved pled their case without representation. Being outside the room and only watching through the glass, I could hear nothing but usually the faces of the parties involved spoke volumes.

Many of those who were waiting their turn to be called inside the room couldn't just sit there in silence, so they chose to come outside the room and stand with their support people. This is when the stories started coming to light. Here is just one story I heard.....

One young woman about 20 and her friend stood outside watching the young man she had apparently filed against. The young man was dressed in a work uniform and sat staring straight forward. Neither woman obviously found this man to be a threat and both took great delight in the possibility of him losing his job over having to come to court over this. The girls laughed and whispered back and forth and then the accuser laughed and then whispered a little too loudly, "Let's see if he f&cks around on me again." I couldn't help but turn around and glare at the two who realized I had heard them and immediately went back in the room. All I could think was....For real? They will mess with this guys livelihood and reputation over something like this? What is wrong with people?

In my afternoons there, I heard story after story of young guys coming out frustrated because they were missing work over their PFA's. One guy was facing his fifth PFA from the same girl. According to him, every time he got a new girl friend, she hit him with a new PFA. Another young man was with his mother. His ex was mad because he was moving out of her home and back in with his family because he couldn't stand her crazy (his words not mine). In retaliation, she accused him of stalking her. This was their third time in court over this and it was obvious that his mom was about done with all of it.

The real eye opener though was when I happened to step over to the soda machine where two sheriff's officers were taking to a woman who was apparently an attorney. They were discussing some case where a young woman had accused a guy of  hitting her on numerous occasions. In no case had she shown any proof  of her "injuries" and she was on her third PFA with him and this one had cost him his job. Then the lawyer broke it down. She said that in this particular courthouse, they literally hear thousands of PFA's per year. Within those PFA's only about 1/3 of them are legitimate. The rest are usually actions used to get even with another person, to cause trouble for another person or to get another persons attention. Then she laughed and said, yeah....PFA's are a gold mine for attorney's but more than that, they are a time consuming and in most cases a pain in the butt for all involved. I stood there stunned. The shame of this all is that these bogus actions then screw up the system and make it very difficult for that 1/3 with legitimate issues whom a PFA is really a life and death necessity.

While I sat there that day, a young man of about 14 sat there by me. He was quiet and sat there reading a library book. Ever so often he would look in at his mom. She sat waiting for her case to be called and she looked tired and nervous. At some point the young man and I began to talk. He was very intelligent and said he was taking some kind of summer workshop at our local university. He was there that day though, to support his mother who had filed a PFA against her ex. Her ex was abusive to not only her but also this young man and his younger brother. The boy talked of having to pull this guy off his mother after he broke in and attacked her. He spoke of not feeling safe in his own home because of this guy and sitting up at night with a baseball bat until his mom would get home from work. This poor kid was not even being able to enjoy the summer workshop he was attending because he had to stay on campus and he wasn't comfortable knowing his mom and brother were alone at home while he was there. He was 14 for goodness sake and no 14 year old should have to worry about those kinds of things. This family obviously needed a PFA! This family needed protection! This family is why PFA's are necessary! 

So we are now out of PFA court and God willing my son will never have to go back, although this custody fight I am sure, will give us much more insight into the workings of the court. That being said though, what I saw these last two weeks showed me that our judicial system in so many ways is broken and I don't just blame the system. I feel as if so many people have chosen to abuse the system with bogus filings and using these PFA's to carry out grudges and ridiculous paybacks for hurt feelings that it truly hurts those who need the system to work for them.

Yes, it has been an interesting couple of weeks. Again I ask....what the heck is wrong with people?

GUESS WHAT?

GUESS WHAT?  I literally have got nothing today. I woke up trying to come up with a couple of topics, but I have learned over the years, if the ideas are not organic and don't just pop out at you, then people will read your blog piece for what it is.....forced and unimaginative. This is not to say that even the blogs that do pop out at me don't read a little forced and unimaginative from time to time, but.......

I decided that I MUST blog today, even though the ideas weren't exactly bowling me over because I challenged myself and.....even the forced word is better than no words at all. In light of this thought process, I fell back on an old tried and true trick and decided to just free associate this blog. In other words, whatever comes out....comes out. So hold on to your reading glasses cause this could be interesting for both of us.

Politics.....I despise them. I used to kind of enjoy talking politics. This of course was back before social media and people using their computers and phones to hide behind and degrade others for their opinions. Yes, back in the day I knew very little about politics. I found it very interesting to discuss, listen and learn peoples views from both sides of the coin. Believe it or not, there was a time when people could have a political conversation, be on different sides, listen, respect each others views and walk away friends. Now though.....not so much. I hate it and I find it to be part of the negativity which is wearing on this country. Let's face it.....neither side is much to brag about and political entities in general are not in it for this country. They are in it for the power and sadly, this country was not set up to be a power struggle because when that happens.....we all lose. Case and point....The Civil War. 

Hmmmm.....racism. Yep, it is alive and well in this country and in the last few years, it appears that it has had a pretty nasty recurrence of some of our less than stellar days gone by. My opinion? (Notice I prefaced this by "my opinion"). Anyone and everyone can be racist. I heard the other day that blacks cannot be racist. Yes they can. When they are demanding white people die, if that is not racist then what is it? Regardless of your race, when you wish evil, harm or death on another race, YOU ARE RACIST! And if we don't start leaving the past in the past and start trying to build unity and work towards mutual respect, we are going to be our own undoing. Bottom line, I don't care what color you are or what your ethnic background is. If you listen to me, I will listen to you. If you are kind to me, then I will be kind to you. AND.....if you respect me, then I will respect you. It is just that simple. It is not rocket science. Furthermore.....if we not only treated people in our own country like this, but people from all over the world, my bet is that there would be a lot less hate, anger and war. But that is just my opinion and I am just a housewife from the Midwest......what do I know?

Roseanne.....Lord help us all. I always liked Roseanne. Her comedy was a bit irreverent, but hers was not the only one and apparently for nine seasons no one was too offended by her as hers was always a highly watched show. Evidence of this was her Roseanne reboot that just finished it's ninth episode and was once again highly watched. Her undoing? Social media and her mouth. Now granted, even before social media, Roseanne had no problem voicing her opinion and putting her foot in her mouth. I remember being highly unimpressed when she decided it would be a good idea to get up and mock the National Anthem and yet she survived and it apparently didn't dissuade her audience even a little. Social media though is almost a death sentence anymore for people and careers. It is drunk dialing on a world wide level. People and especially celebrities seem to think their words and opinions are so highly sought after and important, that they can say whatever they want about whomever they want and it will be just fine. Guess what....they are wrong and more than one celebrity has learned this the hard way. I don't care if you are on Ambien, had a 1/5th of vodka or you are just so narcissistic that you think you are bullet proof......keep your outlandish and disrespectful opinions off social media.....unless of course, the unemployment line is your end goal.

#Metoo.....Please stop! Yes! There are women and men that have been harassed, molested and raped and every last one of them deserves justice. However, this campaign has probably set their ability to get justice back a decade. Hollywood has always been a hotbed of casting couches and lecherous directors that wanted their actors and actresses to do more than make a blockbuster movie. In fact there are literally hundreds of autobiographies, biographies and memoirs of actresses who went into the business knowing full well what the expectations were and working that very system all the way to their star on the Walk of Fame. The phrase sleeping their way to the top was coined for a reason. Do I think that some of these claims are real? Absolutely and I think these directors and people in charge need to spend the rest of their lives behind bars. However, what frustrates me is the little actress who either has never quite made it or her name is no longer in the public eye, suddenly coming forth and saying so and so put his hand on her knee back in the 1980's. If it's true, should he have done it? No, but he was likely young and stupid and touching a knee when you are young and stupid while inappropriate, should not be enough to 1) tie up the court system so real cases can't be tried or 2)make this older and hopefully wiser man with a family and a career lose it all over such an incident. I also believe that many of these people that have come forward were more consenting to the actions of the past then they would like to admit. When dollars and fame came into play, I think #metoo lost all of it's power and became something it was never intended to be. Again.....just my opinion and I pray that every woman and man who were legitimately harassed, molested and raped make the bastards that did it to them pay!

Where's Spring?.....Yes. And finally just what happened to the Spring of 2018? It seems that in the same week in April, we were all still wearing parkas with 40 degree temps and north winds wondering if winter would ever end. Then the blessed 70 degree temps hit.......for two days and by the end of the week we were in the 90's. What the heck? Now here in Kansas we have 90's every day with high humidity. It is really doing a number on people with inflammation issues, people who are sensitive to heat and anyone who wants to go outside and not sweat through their clothes. Truthfully I was very sick of winter by April but I wasn't quite expecting summer two months early either. Of course, truth be told, the weather never makes me happy and I complain year round, but come on! Let's face it. This year has been weird country wide.

So there you have it. This is what happens when I've got nothing! ;)

100 Days of Kindness

I think I may have mentioned the other day that things in my life and world are changing. The last year and especially the last few months have been both eye opening and life altering. We as a family have been through a great deal of sadness, hurt, frustration and our fair share of negativity, however...through it all, we have been inundated with kindness from others. And not even in my own life, but just by watching, I have seen a wave of kindness emerging that has shown me that the good, the positive and even the smallest act of kindness can truly change anything and everything.

I had started seeing a lot of this last year, so it was no coincidence that my New Year's resolution for 2018 was simply to be....kinder. I wanted kindness to be a part of my everyday world. I wanted it to be as natural as breathing and to get to the point that almost all of my actions, consciously or sub-consciously were based in kindness. Sadly, this is sometimes harder than you think, especially when we live in a bit of a narcissistic and self-absorbed world.

My year began with me, just trying to implement simple changes in my everyday actions such as making it my mission to smile at everyone. I read somewhere that receiving a smile from someone can be healing and even mood changing. In fact, your smile might be the only positive act that someone receives in their world that day. And while smiling at someone else should in no way have selfish undertones, it has been suggested that if you smile at others and spread that bit of kindness and positivity out there, well it also improves your mood too.

Another thing that I was consciously trying to do was to spread kindness through my words. It is very easy to open your mouth and let negativity come out. We just seem as a people, whether it is in our own homes, work or even out in the world to comment on the negative and spread that crap around whether it is off-handed and inconsiderate remarks, gossip about others or just down right, in your face, unnecessary hatefulness. It is much easier to tell someone what they did wrong than to look for what they did right. It is also much easier it seems to condemn than praise and sadly sometimes I think we do it with the attitude that we are helping, but are we? I know that everyone needs a little tough love from time to time and that may mean hearing something of a negative nature, but not everyday. So I started complimenting instead of just commenting, saying please and thank you and taking the time to choose my words more carefully when speaking with or to others.

Finally, I started trying each and everyday to find something I could do to be kind. I made it my mission to not just being kinder in my own home and my own little world, but to start trying to be kinder out in the real world, where I am absolutely convinced we need it the most. I tried to see everything I did and every place I went as an opportunity for kindness and then I would take it that step further and make sure I was doing it for the right reasons and do my best to keep those tiny acts to myself. I wanted to promote kindness.....not myself.

As you all know, when February hit and the bottom temporarily dropped out of my world, I made it my mission to not get angry or bitter but to continue to try to be kind in every situation, regardless of what was going on in my life. Blessedly, David and I were shown so much unbelievable kindness during this time that it was overwhelming and I realized that somehow, some way, I was really going to have to up my kindness game. So each day, I shared the kindness and today I continue that.

Today is June 1st and what better way to promote kindness than by starting summer out with a kindness campaign? Summer is a time when we seem to be more social, come in contact with more people (online and off) and it just seems like the perfect time to get out there and touch lives with kindness. So as of today, I am starting 100 Days of Kindness. It is my own personal campaign that will run from today until September 8th. In these next 100 days, I am going to do everything I can to promote kindness among my friends and in my own little world and to actively spread as much kindness as I can. Just think, even if each of us only did one tiny, small act of kindness each day and all of my fb friends and blog readers participated, can you imagine just how much kindness we would put out into the world? And if it is true and kindness begets kindness, well then your small act and my small act maybe the catalyst for thousands and maybe even millions of other acts of kindness....both big and small.

So where do we begin? Right in your own home, at your work, on social media, at the grocery store and among your own friends. Smile, use positive words, help a friend or neighbor, help a stranger, give financially and anonymously to someone who may need it, pray for someone, take an elderly persons trash out, mow someones lawn who might have trouble mowing their own, or do something for someone....just because. The possibilities are literally endless and I am sure in the next 100 days that many more opportunities to be kind will present themselves. 

Now I can't speak for anyone else, but I myself am so tired of all the negativity. I am tired of watching people tear each other down and talk with such disrespect towards others over politics, race, religion, differences of opinion and all the other things that people seem to think are worth degrading, demoralizing and disrespecting others over. Fueled with this frustration, it occurred to me one day that if we all were actively kinder to one another, many of these issues of politics, race and religion wouldn't be such grave issues anymore. So in reality, these small acts of kindness could have far more outreaching and positive affects on our world than we can currently even imagine.

So today I begin. Today is Day#1 of 100 Days of Kindness. I truly hope that after reading this that you too might want to join this campaign. I also would be very interested in hearing your thoughts and ideas on acts of kindness and how you are spreading kindness or better yet, how someone has made your day or even changed your life with an act of kindness. Just remember, one small act of kindness could literally be the catalyst for a million more. #100daysofkindness #bekind #kindnesschangeseverything

You Kids Get Off My Lawn

In the 1960's, the term generation gap was coined. It was a term widely used in the media and in everyday life to describe the lack of communication and understanding between 18, 19, 20 somethings and those of their parents and grandparents age. It was a time in America when kids were not satisfied with the status quo and were asking tough questions and demanding answers. They were raging against the machine of post 1950's ultra conservatism and fighting against everything from the war to clothing styles. While the term is really not used much anymore, I am beyond convinced that the generation gap is still alive and well and last night I witnessed it with my own eyes.

Before I continue though, let me say a little about this gap as at my more mature age in life, I am privy to both sides of this phenomenon. Since the moment kids came out from under the belief system of the 30's, 40's and 50's that kids should be seen and not heard and that what their parents believed was what they also should believe, young America realized they had power. They had the power to speak out, speak up and change the world and they didn't care if their older counterparts liked it or not. Unfortunately what they exuded in youth, energy and passion, they sometimes lacked in experience, knowledge and common sense.

As for the older generation...... well they had the experience, knowledge and common sense and their life experience often saw disaster on the horizon with the impending change that young America was pushing for. They had learned from trial and error over many years that sometimes it was better to err on the side of caution. They also had lived long enough and been through enough that by the time they reached a certain age...they were simply tired. They didn't want the upheaval, the drama and the inevitable.....dare I say.....change that this younger generation was going to precipitate. So the older generation became viewed not as wise and cautious, but as old and unchanging. For me, the mental picture of the old scowly faced guy in the cardigan sweater yelling out the window, "You kids stay off my lawn," always comes to mind because in reality the yard represents the world the old man can control and by the younger generation changing things (or playing on his lawn), he is losing control of the world he knows. Trust me.....I do get it. 

All this being said, change is inevitable and with each new generation things will continue to change. Add in to that social media and 24 hours news and that change will be in our face 24/7 long after this current generation of American youth are screaming for the next generations to get off their lawns.

So shifting gears a bit, I run several hometown facebook pages. One of those pages is for town issues where people can discuss, vent and hopefully from time to time....solve local problems. There are rules for this page simply because of the things that are dealt with. Of course there is the expectation that people are respectful and adult-like which sometimes in some situations makes me feel like I am den mother to a bunch of middle aged adolescents. Because of this very thing, there is an age limit  (18) to be able to join. Well, actually....you must be 18 and out of high school. We already have enough adults acting like they are in high school, I really didn't want to throw real high schoolers in the mix. I was afraid their maturity my embarrass the actual adults. ;) So every year, as school gets out, I have about a handful of graduated 18 year olds that ask to join the page. What usually happens is that once they join and realize how boring the town talk is and how some of the adults tend to act, we never hear from them again. This year though.....it was different.

Starting last week, we had an influx of new members. All that joined had their birth dates listed as Dec. 31, 1969 which wasn't a dead give away or anything, especially since in our town, if you don't know everyone personally, you at least know who they are. Most all of these new members were just graduated or in their early 20's. Most were also guys. After a day or two, unlike all the other years....these guys started posting. I have no doubt that after reading all the posts on this page that previously had been blocked to them, they were highly underwhelmed with both the content and the "adults" posting it, so they decided to liven it up.

Suddenly a post was made by a young man that was posted as a serious issue, but was obviously meant as a humorous joke. His friends immediately joined in and the post went crazy. So did my fb messages complaining about these kids turning the page into a sham and them being disrespectful. I also started having people in the group reporting the post. Maybe it was because I have boys and know their humor at that age or maybe it was because I have been dealing with very real and very serious issues in my life and on a scale from one to serious, this silly post rated a -10, but I just watched for a bit. The complaints kept coming so I even posted on there myself and said I thought the post was just a little levity to lighten a rather serious page. Unfortunately, as the exuberance of youth, the beginning of summer and likely a bit of boredom on their part often do.....it caused them to think that maybe the world found their humor funnier than the little world of this particular fb page did....and they began spreading their humor to more posts. By last night, more than one long time page member was screaming "YOU KIDS GET OFF MY LAWN!" Since the page is not mine to dictate but a community page, the majority ruled and I had to make one of my dreaded "behave yourself" post speeches. This is when I realized that although the generation gap was alive and well in our little midwest town on our little fb page, I also realized that our town was doing something very right.

My post did not deter the humor from these kids, but it also did not bring on disrespect either. When I saw this, I tried to keep my responses on the "mom humor" (you know, the kind of humor that makes these guys smile and roll their eyes at the mom trying to be funny) side of things. Then they started asking some really great questions that I actually hoped would make some of the long time, older members think. The questions were all basically, why can full grown adults get on this page and be negative, nasty and down right bullying to each other and that be acceptable (which it is not), but they can't come on there, be funny, maybe a little irreverent but still positive in nature without the town elders getting "butt hurt" (their words not mine.) Yeah.....why? 

Of course with all of my years of wisdom, I knew why. This page was for town business, it was on the serious side and these kids were trampling on the lawn and status quo of people who didn't want or like this kind of change. I felt these kids deserved an answer though and so I gave it to them explaining basically all the above and pointing out that had they kept their comments to just the one post and respected that not everyone was a fan of their humor, this would not have probably all been an issue. Understanding fully though that they were 1) pretty funny in their own way and 2) they needed their own page to express their views, their humor and maybe even vent a little about their uptight, older community members....I suggested they start their own page. Whether it was my suggestion or already thought of by someone else, they did just that. What was more impressive though, was how they handled my response to their questions. They actually kindly and respectfully thanked me for taking the time to respond to their questions and to explain things. Maybe it was something they hadn't already thought of or realized as to how their posts were affecting others or maybe it was just that one adult on there took the time to treat them as adults and answer some pretty great questions from them. Whatever the case, they were all respectful young people who earned my respect because they actually handled themselves with class.

What's more, I did happen to go peek at their new page and I was pleasantly surprised. Yes, they made a couple of comments about how uptight and "butt hurt" people on the other page could be, but there was no trashing or disrespect of those who complained about them and from what I could see, they were truly enjoying their new page. They also kept membership on the other page which I was happy to see. After all, these young people are the future of our community. At some point in time, the issues that affect our town will be important to them and they, like everyone else need a place to speak their mind, vent and have the opportunity to make a difference....and I really think they just might.

Yes, the generation gap is alive and well and as sure as the young people will  want to continue to change the world, those of us who know just how hard that is, will not make it easy for them. It is the constant in the universe that never seems to change. That being said though, after last night.....I think the gap is not nearly so wide. 

Summer Memories

The other day I read an article by a millennial who was remembering her summers growing up. I was pretty amazed at the stark differences in her childhood summer memories and my own. Granted, we were talking about a different generation but while her summers were made up of video game marathons, hanging out in the park smoking cigarettes and getting high (her words) and spending summer evenings at some grunge club in her city, I couldn't help but think how drastically different our two era's of growing up really were. It immediately got me to thinking about the differences and about what a great blog it would make. So here we go. Let the summer memories begin......

As a young child, summertime was the focal point of my world. Well....that and Christmas. But in the recesses of my cobwebbed brain, it seems that back in the late 60's and early 70's, summer didn't begin with Memorial Day. No....for us, summer began with field day. I am sure every school all over the country had a version of this, but ours was a day of in-school, outdoor fun. We wore shorts (we weren't allowed to wear shorts any other day of the year) and we got to eat a sack lunch among a day filled with foot races, jumping events, jump roping, climbing and sack races. And there wasn't one participation ribbon to be given. No....there were first, second and third place ribbons and you had to both compete and win to receive one. I still have a couple of those highly coveted third place baby's. After a long hot day of outdoor fun, field day always ended with tired, sweaty, smelly and most of all sunburned kids who were ready to go home and begin their summer.

As a young child, my summers were spent outdoors with neighborhood kids. We all had our neighborhoods and our neighborhood boundaries were as far as our mothers could yell. Summer days began with jumping out of bed, eating breakfast (which my mother never let me out of the house without eating) and then running outside. Usually the day before, the neighborhood kids would have decided where or whose house we would meet at the next morning and by 8 a.m., someones yard was full of bikes and kids. Most of the time we never went into peoples homes because that simply wasn't done. You played in the yard. If you got thirsty you drank from the hose and if you had to go to the bathroom, you ran or rode home and then came right back. From morning until noon we rode our bikes around the neighborhood, rounded up other kids and came up with a thousand and one different games to keep ourselves occupied. Sometimes the girls sat in the driveway and played Barbies while the boys spent hours racing their Hot Wheels down the incline. Other times we played tag, red rover or other equally exciting games. Then about noon, we could all start hearing our mothers yell out the door for us to come home for lunch. We each knew our mom's voice and we knew the minute we heard it that we had about two minutes to be home. We would race to our house, quickly swallow down lunch and then rush back out to our designated meeting place to begin the afternoon play.

Afternoons were usually spent in someones sprinkler or at a nearby school field playing kickball. If the day were particularly hot, you could often find a bunch of hot and tired kids sitting under the shade of someones tree, hanging out, talking and planning the next big adventure. As suppertime approached, it seemed like we all just instinctively knew it was time to head home. Supper was always about 5:30 and almost always eaten as a family at the kitchen table. After supper though, we all got our second wind and were back outside. Most of us knew we could play out until the street lights came on. That was our signal that it was time to call it a day. We would make our plans for the next day and head home to get cleaned up, drop exhausted into bed and prepare to do it all again tomorrow.

When I was about middle school age, we had moved to a small town and it was here that the aesthetic of my summertime life changed. Here we had a big yard and my mom decided to go back to her country roots and started having a huge garden every summer. Because of this, my summer mornings started early. With a garden and a big yard, there is always something to do and my mom made sure I did it. From planting to harvest I was always out there weeding, watering or doing something garden related. As the summer progressed, I got a lot of kitchen time too helping can everything from jams and jellies to pickles and tomatoes.

Summer wasn't all work though as one of the pleasures of small town life was to have a town pool that was within walking distance and though my mornings were filled with yard work, my afternoons were spent at the pool. Yes, from 7th grade through high school my summer afternoons were spent with Sun-In in my hair (yes, I did have orange hair all summer long), baby oil on my skin and having a blast with my friends. If I close my eyes I can still smell the chlorine, hear T-95 blasting from behind the snack bar and see the "nose coated" life guards with their dark tans and superior attitudes. Yes, in our world life guards were cool and they knew it.

Summer evenings were spent back out in the yard watering or just sitting out talking with the neighbors. We really weren't indoor people during the summer and our house usually showed it as our waking hours were almost always spent outdoors.

When high school and my early twenties hit though, summer took on a whole new meaning for me. Of course there was still the infernal garden, but I then got a job which excused me from some of that. I then replaced going to the pool everyday with going to a couple of local beaches (Crystal Lake and Meadow Lake). By this time I had learned to go easy on the Sun -In, but the baby oil was still a must have. When I wasn't working, my afternoons were either spent at a beach or hanging out at my best friends house who conveniently had a pool. It was at this time that I learned the fun of summer nights.

After a day of pool or beach lounging, my girl friends and I would clean up, doll up and hit the town. We found local bars such as Backstage and Pogo's and would spend our evenings dancing and drinking watered down beer (in KS you could drink beer at 18)....and we did. After we finished at the bar, then we headed down to Douglas Street. Douglas was a two mile stretch of street in the downtown area of Wichita. Every Friday and Saturday night, every kid and young adult from Wichita and the surrounding towns would congregate on Douglas and drag for hours. It was a place to show off your car and yourself and to meet lots and lots of people. I hear tell that many a couple started out on Douglas. (If you would like to know more about dragging Douglas.....I actually have an old blog about it. Check it out.)

As I got a little older, my summer days became consumed with having a "real" job, but I made sure my summer nights stayed fun. My friends and I turned our rock and roll bars into more of a country scene. We found our favorite country bars and hit them from time to time, but we had a new found love of the country boy and spent a lot of time on the tailgate of pick ups under the stars, drinking beer and hanging out. There were bon fires, dances and did I mention those country boys? 

Eventually I grew up and my childhood summers were but a memory. The theme of my childhood though was not sitting on the couch playing video games nor hanging out and getting high. My summer memories were of an innocence so far removed from today's world and culture that today's world would hardly recognize it. It was a time when parents could let their kids run the neighborhood. There were no cellphones in which to check up on them or to mirco manage their every move. We were taught rules and expectations and if not followed there were consequences. We also learned so much from those summers so long ago. We learned independence, responsibility and social skills. I had many many neighborhood adventures and most of all.....I had fun.

Yes, summertime still holds a special place in my heart and those memories of years gone by will forever be a part of me. I was blessed to be brought up in a world where it was not only safe, but also fun to be a kid.

Now..... let's bring on the summer and make some new memories.