Summer Memories

The other day I read an article by a millennial who was remembering her summers growing up. I was pretty amazed at the stark differences in her childhood summer memories and my own. Granted, we were talking about a different generation but while her summers were made up of video game marathons, hanging out in the park smoking cigarettes and getting high (her words) and spending summer evenings at some grunge club in her city, I couldn't help but think how drastically different our two era's of growing up really were. It immediately got me to thinking about the differences and about what a great blog it would make. So here we go. Let the summer memories begin......

As a young child, summertime was the focal point of my world. Well....that and Christmas. But in the recesses of my cobwebbed brain, it seems that back in the late 60's and early 70's, summer didn't begin with Memorial Day. No....for us, summer began with field day. I am sure every school all over the country had a version of this, but ours was a day of in-school, outdoor fun. We wore shorts (we weren't allowed to wear shorts any other day of the year) and we got to eat a sack lunch among a day filled with foot races, jumping events, jump roping, climbing and sack races. And there wasn't one participation ribbon to be given. No....there were first, second and third place ribbons and you had to both compete and win to receive one. I still have a couple of those highly coveted third place baby's. After a long hot day of outdoor fun, field day always ended with tired, sweaty, smelly and most of all sunburned kids who were ready to go home and begin their summer.

As a young child, my summers were spent outdoors with neighborhood kids. We all had our neighborhoods and our neighborhood boundaries were as far as our mothers could yell. Summer days began with jumping out of bed, eating breakfast (which my mother never let me out of the house without eating) and then running outside. Usually the day before, the neighborhood kids would have decided where or whose house we would meet at the next morning and by 8 a.m., someones yard was full of bikes and kids. Most of the time we never went into peoples homes because that simply wasn't done. You played in the yard. If you got thirsty you drank from the hose and if you had to go to the bathroom, you ran or rode home and then came right back. From morning until noon we rode our bikes around the neighborhood, rounded up other kids and came up with a thousand and one different games to keep ourselves occupied. Sometimes the girls sat in the driveway and played Barbies while the boys spent hours racing their Hot Wheels down the incline. Other times we played tag, red rover or other equally exciting games. Then about noon, we could all start hearing our mothers yell out the door for us to come home for lunch. We each knew our mom's voice and we knew the minute we heard it that we had about two minutes to be home. We would race to our house, quickly swallow down lunch and then rush back out to our designated meeting place to begin the afternoon play.

Afternoons were usually spent in someones sprinkler or at a nearby school field playing kickball. If the day were particularly hot, you could often find a bunch of hot and tired kids sitting under the shade of someones tree, hanging out, talking and planning the next big adventure. As suppertime approached, it seemed like we all just instinctively knew it was time to head home. Supper was always about 5:30 and almost always eaten as a family at the kitchen table. After supper though, we all got our second wind and were back outside. Most of us knew we could play out until the street lights came on. That was our signal that it was time to call it a day. We would make our plans for the next day and head home to get cleaned up, drop exhausted into bed and prepare to do it all again tomorrow.

When I was about middle school age, we had moved to a small town and it was here that the aesthetic of my summertime life changed. Here we had a big yard and my mom decided to go back to her country roots and started having a huge garden every summer. Because of this, my summer mornings started early. With a garden and a big yard, there is always something to do and my mom made sure I did it. From planting to harvest I was always out there weeding, watering or doing something garden related. As the summer progressed, I got a lot of kitchen time too helping can everything from jams and jellies to pickles and tomatoes.

Summer wasn't all work though as one of the pleasures of small town life was to have a town pool that was within walking distance and though my mornings were filled with yard work, my afternoons were spent at the pool. Yes, from 7th grade through high school my summer afternoons were spent with Sun-In in my hair (yes, I did have orange hair all summer long), baby oil on my skin and having a blast with my friends. If I close my eyes I can still smell the chlorine, hear T-95 blasting from behind the snack bar and see the "nose coated" life guards with their dark tans and superior attitudes. Yes, in our world life guards were cool and they knew it.

Summer evenings were spent back out in the yard watering or just sitting out talking with the neighbors. We really weren't indoor people during the summer and our house usually showed it as our waking hours were almost always spent outdoors.

When high school and my early twenties hit though, summer took on a whole new meaning for me. Of course there was still the infernal garden, but I then got a job which excused me from some of that. I then replaced going to the pool everyday with going to a couple of local beaches (Crystal Lake and Meadow Lake). By this time I had learned to go easy on the Sun -In, but the baby oil was still a must have. When I wasn't working, my afternoons were either spent at a beach or hanging out at my best friends house who conveniently had a pool. It was at this time that I learned the fun of summer nights.

After a day of pool or beach lounging, my girl friends and I would clean up, doll up and hit the town. We found local bars such as Backstage and Pogo's and would spend our evenings dancing and drinking watered down beer (in KS you could drink beer at 18)....and we did. After we finished at the bar, then we headed down to Douglas Street. Douglas was a two mile stretch of street in the downtown area of Wichita. Every Friday and Saturday night, every kid and young adult from Wichita and the surrounding towns would congregate on Douglas and drag for hours. It was a place to show off your car and yourself and to meet lots and lots of people. I hear tell that many a couple started out on Douglas. (If you would like to know more about dragging Douglas.....I actually have an old blog about it. Check it out.)

As I got a little older, my summer days became consumed with having a "real" job, but I made sure my summer nights stayed fun. My friends and I turned our rock and roll bars into more of a country scene. We found our favorite country bars and hit them from time to time, but we had a new found love of the country boy and spent a lot of time on the tailgate of pick ups under the stars, drinking beer and hanging out. There were bon fires, dances and did I mention those country boys? 

Eventually I grew up and my childhood summers were but a memory. The theme of my childhood though was not sitting on the couch playing video games nor hanging out and getting high. My summer memories were of an innocence so far removed from today's world and culture that today's world would hardly recognize it. It was a time when parents could let their kids run the neighborhood. There were no cellphones in which to check up on them or to mirco manage their every move. We were taught rules and expectations and if not followed there were consequences. We also learned so much from those summers so long ago. We learned independence, responsibility and social skills. I had many many neighborhood adventures and most of all.....I had fun.

Yes, summertime still holds a special place in my heart and those memories of years gone by will forever be a part of me. I was blessed to be brought up in a world where it was not only safe, but also fun to be a kid.

Now..... let's bring on the summer and make some new memories. 

Me Time

So here I sit. It is the first time in quite some time that I have had some "me" time. The house is quiet except for the tinkle of the wind chimes sounding in the breeze through the open windows. It is peaceful and has given me time to collect my thoughts enough to be able to sit down and write this blog.

Since last I blogged (a couple of weeks ago) we went from winter (temps in the 40's) to summer (temps in the 90's). To be fair, we did have about two days of spring (70 degree weather), but I think it is safe to say that "summer is upon us."

I have had lots of questions about David, so let me start there. I am having "me time" today because today was David's first day back at school since surgery. He is going half days to see where his stamina is, but last Monday at his post surgery doctors visit, Dr. Hollenbeck released him to start school this week.

David has once again proven to be a miracle. This surgery which everyone dreaded and in which the surgery and recovery time were very daunting on paper, has turned out to be much easier than any surgery he has had to date. What's more, his doctor and his PT are thrilled at the speed of his recovery and the unexpected progress he has made so far.

David was off pain meds before he even left the hospital and after a talk with the doctor while he was still in the hospital, my confidence in taking care of him was boosted 1000%. Of course there have been those moments where I have been on the verge of a mommy melt-down trying to figure out how to do something where he is concerned and being terrified that I was going to break him, but after a few slow deep breaths and a lot of prayer, the answer always comes and we move forward. So..... you can imagine how surreal it was for me to send him off to school today. This was not something that I thought would happen this school year. Once again....David took the ceiling that the doctors expected and shoved it completely out of the way, in order to reach his own heights.

Truthfully though, in the big scheme of things, he is still taking baby steps in his recovery and will not be given full okay to go back to as much of his pre-surgery life as possible until after June 4th when we see the doctor again. Still though, he is weight bearing, walking some and moving forward every day. Yes, I think this all qualifies as a miracle.

Now onto the situation I have been getting lots of questions about recently.....How are things with the house going? 

I know I have been rather quiet about it all of late and there are reasons for this. The biggest one of course has been that my focus has been on David, his recuperation and his rehab. That has been a 24 hour a day venture and I have had little time to think about anything else.

There has also been the issue that my lawyer has told me to keep $$ amounts quiet and every time the subject is brought up, there are those that want to know exact amounts, which I can't give. I really am sorry about this but I feel as if this situation has been a community effort and I really don't want it to seem as if I am holding anything back. In the end though....all will be revealed. ;)

And it seems likely that there will not be anymore fundraisers as there have been some others with great need come to the for front in our community and the focus is on them.....as it should be. Time, money and resources are going to these families and my attention has been put on helping them too in any small way I can.

Today though, I will fill you all in a bit on our current situation and where I am at personally with it all.

We are now 3.5 months in on this house situation and quite frankly, I am just as confused today as I was February 3, 2018. I have no definitive answers on what is really behind this situation. The only thing I know for sure is that if I don't raise $78,000 David and I lose this house and all we know. The good news is.....we are close. I have had faith since day one that it would happen, even before our first fundraiser..... and I haven't lost that faith for a second along the way. However, I have been hit with a lot of sadness during this time, and each time I learn something new that doesn't mesh with the original story told to me, that draws questions and makes me feel like there might be deception behind the reason for us losing our home. I hope I am wrong, but this nagging feeling is at times unbearable. I spend a lot of time praying that I can keep my focus where it needs to be and that I don't fall into the negative space of anger. Knowing the reality behind it all might make it easier to forgive and move forward, but if I have learned nothing else in this journey it is that even family is fallible and sometimes we simply have to forgive a situation even when we don't have all the answers.

That being said and forgiveness aside, I am wiser and unfortunately, those particular ties maybe irreparably damaged. I really would like to believe that they truly feel bad that David and I were left in this situation, but sadly, nothing I have seen or heard indicates that.

So enough with the negativity. The bottom line is that "it is what it is." I can do nothing but deal with the situation as I know it and move forward and that is what I am doing. Through it all though, I have learned so much about the people in my world, myself and the kindness and generosity of others. I have seen love, kindness, strength and a community of family, friends and strangers come together through prayer, action and financial help for my son and myself. It has been truly amazing. I have been humbled beyond belief and it has set my sights for the future in a whole new direction.

Today, in my quiet solitude....I have come to realize that more so than ever in my life, I am beginning to know myself. I am seeing new and amazing strength in both myself and in David and most of all, I am beyond grateful for the lessons I have been given these last few months and for the grace I have been given in order to get through it all. David and I are blessed beyond words and without a doubt I know......we will Save David's Home.

If you would like to know more about Save David's Home, here is the link to check out the facebook page and to read up on our reality. There is also a YouCaring page if you would like to donate.

The Perfect Moment

It was hot. The sun was blazing down and I was about five months pregnant. I stood in my backyard hanging laundry on the clothesline as my four year old ran in and out of the sheets laughing. His laugh was contagious as he would peek out of a sheet and say "I see you mommy."

I could feel the sweat running down my back and I was almost sure the little peanut inside me was moving in reaction to the sound of his brothers laughter. Bend, pick up and hang was the rhythm that I had established though definitely not with anywhere near the speed of my pre-pregnancy laundry skills. The little one had been rousted awake and was on the move or maybe, he just couldn't find a comfortable spot inside my short, no waisted body, as I continued to do the the laundry dance.

As the mid day sun blazed and my laundry basket didn't seem to be emptying itself fast enough, I decided to pull a lawn chair under the red bud tree and give both myself and the little acrobat inside me a bit of a rest. Apparently my now available lap meant that the four year old must occupy it. He crawled up and together we sat there silently watching the world.

Yes, the four year old and I were attached both physically and emotionally. From the moment I had seen his bold blue eyes and stark white hair for the very first time, he had me.....heart and soul. He had his daddy too and magically this little guy lived a very full and almost duel life being both a mommy and a daddy's boy. Right now though, in this moment.....he was all mine. 

As the freshly hung laundry did a subtle sway in the summer breeze, he laid his head back on my shoulder and watched as the occasional car passed down the street. His blue eyes shown brightly in the sun as he was lost in whatever thoughts move through a four year olds mind on a hot summer day. He was thinking, questioning and  trying to figure out the world from the safety of my lap. Then his thoughts were interrupted by the ever so slight movement in his side. He jumped and looked wide eyed, not sure what had just happened. I smiled. "That is your baby brother," I said. His eyes widened even more. "Where?" he asked. I pointed to my stomach and put his little hand on the spot where the activity was taking place. Again, there was the movement of a foot or elbow or possibly a head trying to position itself or maybe the little one could simply feel his brothers presence and was just trying to say...."Hello!" Suddenly understanding on a very fundamental level that his little brother was with us and making his presence known, the four year old put both hands on my stomach and moved his face in close. "Hi," he whispered, "I am your brother and I am here." He then rested his head against me and waited for a response. He was not disappointed for no sooner had his head touched my belly then his brother moved. It was a gentle movement and maybe he too had put his head close with only my skin standing between the two. Then the little one calmed as if the knowledge of his brothers words and his closeness had relaxed him to sleep.

The four year old lay curled up with his head on my belly for quite some time. I wasn't sure whether he was waiting for more movement or if he too was just feeling the comfort and the closeness of the moments that passed. Again there was silence as the profoundness of  it all seemed to gently flow over me. The heat of the afternoon held the air to almost a stillness now. The clothes no longer swayed or even moved. The moisture was being sucked out of them by the heat alone. I looked down at the child in my lap....safe, secure and in that moment.....getting a lesson in life. I could feel the stillness of the little one who lay inside me as my body, his temporary accommodations, was changing just for him. It was at this moment that I suddenly realized that out of the thousands of moments that I would have in my lifetime, this one would stick out. This one would forever be a part of my thoughts and my memories. I took it all in. The heat, the clothes, my children nestled together in my lap and.....my home. I knew that this place and this time were so special and never would I be able to recreate them anywhere else. In that moment.....I had everything and even though we were quickly outgrowing the house, we had almost no money and I was pregnant in the summer time with our collective 5th child......I was experiencing the perfect moment. Little did I know, it would be the last of its kind. 

Quick Reactions and Lynyrd Skynyrd

I think the only thing that will be long about this month.....was last night! I had to break down and turn on the air (it was 90 degrees in the house) and even with the air on....it was still fairly warm. I tossed and I turned all night. I woke up at least four times and today I am tired. Still and all, I much prefer this weather over cloudy, chilly and dreary. Of course.....unless it was a constant 75 degrees during the day and about 55 at night with only a breeze (no gale force winds)....I will always find fault with the weather.

I found a cool new (new to me) thing for my blog. You know I am always about what people think of my blogs, but lets face it....not everyone wants to write a three page comment at the bottom of the page....so I found these "quick reactions" that I have now attached to each blog. Rather than have to actually comment you can just check a quick reaction box. Don't get me wrong....I still want your comments, emails and messages if you so choose to give them......but if not, you now have a quick alternative. As I said...they are new to me. I have seen other bloggers using these for awhile and when I read their blogs I always try to check a quick reaction box as it is always nice to know that people were actually there and had even a quick opinion of your blog. It simply took me until last night to figure out how to add them to my blog. You know.....the whole technically challenged thing and all! So anyway.....I look forward to seeing what you think....and as always....be kind....I have a fragile ego.....NOT!

Yesterday didn't turn out too bad. I accomplished all the phone calls and bill paying that I needed to, but the pool did not get opened. And of all days.....yesterday would have been perfect. The guy who does it got held up, but I was assured he would be out today. I sure hope so as that is where I plan to spend all my evenings and weekends from now until late September. In fact I plan to get more use out of that pool this year than we have in the 30+ years we have had it. There may even be a few bbq/pool parties this summer. You just never can tell!

Well....today will be another busy one filled with all the fun and craziness that is my life. There is actually a whole lot more crazy than there is fun, but oh well. I have Davids IEP and drs. appts., cheesecakes and of course.....work! I am really not sure how I actually find time for work, but I am thinking my boss is happy that I do! And if I play my cards right and the pool guy comes.....there may even be pool time later on. That may just push fun way ahead of crazy today!

Today I am going to end this blog with a song of nostalgia for me. I have always loved Lynyrd Skynyrd and that love has never changed. As a kid summer would not be summer without going to a party, sitting on a tailgate, or laying by the pool and listening to Sweet Home Alabama. So today....I leave you with the great Lynyrd Skynyrd and a song to get your summer started!

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

Wow! It has been awhile...but time marches on. School has started, fall is in the air and every Friday night home game....I can hear all the football action out my bedroom window (one of the perks of living a block from the football field).

Life is beginning to take a different shape. Zachary is back in actual school for his freshman year. No more eschool and no more "mom having to teach subjects she was never any good at in the first place!" Miraculously....eschool did work and Zachary is doing pretty good in school....if we can just keep him there. He is still fighting mono and someday's I think the mono is winning.

David is doing very well in school this year. He seems to have adjusted to the transition of a new school nicely. It took him all of about 30 seconds to make the grade school his own. While he has had some hit and miss mini seizures....he has had none at school and no health issues which have made him miss school. He did however just have his 10th birthday....which he got to celebrate with his friends at school. This is a first in a long time....as the last few years he has been sick on his birthday. Yay....we have made it a decade! And what a decade it has been!

Have I mentioned that I bake cheesecakes......and sell them? Well....I do! I actually have played with having a cheesecake business for about 15 years. Due to life circumstances though....it has been an off and on venture, which more times than not was off rather than on. Thanks to local friends and even a few "not so local" friends and facebook.....my little one woman cheesecake show is starting to get some recognition....and dare I say....fans?! So look out world....here comes the Cheesecake Chick!

So....this morning....a beauty of a morning might I add, I was thinking of those old school assignments where when you head back to school after summer.....the teacher says..."I want you to write a paper about what you did over your summer vacation." And I thought about all that I have done, seen, felt, and been a part of over the last few months. So if I were given this assignment....here is what I would write:

What I Did Over My Summer Vacation

What I did over my summer vacation? Well....lets put it this way....there was no vacation involved. I worked! I worked at home, away from home and I baked cheesecakes......many....many....cheesecakes. 

I spent a lot of time running back and forth between home and the ER and home and the hospital. I spent Memorial Day in the ER as well as Father's Day and we watched fireworks on the 4th of July from the 5th floor window at the hospital. 

I began a lifestyle change and found exercise to be more of a friend..... instead of just the acquaintance that it once was. I also finally realized that 30 min. of cardio a day can change blood pressure numbers dramatically. I started on a  road to rediscovering who I really am instead of just who I was allowing myself to become.

I learned a lot about science, ethics, and theology and spent a great deal of time voicing my opinion on all of it. 

I voted in the primaries and became very disillusioned with politics on both sides of most issues.

I learned to breathe and remembered to pray. 

I fell in love with a  cousin who was 4 years old and who taught me that life is short so you have to live it to the fullest. I followed his life as he showed the world that even cancer could not break his fighting spirit. I cheered for him during his high's and I prayed constantly for him and his family during his lows. Finally, when it was evident that God's will was not that Nicky stay here on earth.....I cried. I cried for his family, and yet couldn't help but smile at the fact that heaven had its' newest angel.....who was cancer free (which is what we had all been praying for all along). 

I learned that I have friends. Many good and wonderful friends who have my back, who are there for me at a moments notice, who are willing to push me to be my best self......and best of all.....friends who are willing to stop and say a prayer for me when they know I need it most.

Finally....as summer was coming to an end...I got to actually have some fun. I got to reconnect with old friends, make some new ones..... and just  let my hair down, play a bit and actually enjoy a weekend for once. 

So to sum it all up.....my summer had some pretty good highs as well as some pretty drastic lows. But for the first time in many years....things started to change....for the better I'm thinking..... and nothing good or bad happened that in the end didn't work itself out. 

So folks....as leaves are beginning to show their fall wardrobe and the temperatures are starting to dip.....looking back.....this is how I spent my summer vacation!