Something(s) Positive

Let's be honest. The last year or so has been a sh!t storm of epic proportions. It wasn't just politics, or riots, or police, or criminals or COVID. It was actually all of it wrapped so tightly together that we didn't have a chance to breathe or get our bearings. Things got so bad at times, that we would continue to look for the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel, only to find that each light proved to be just another train, ready to run us down and turn us inside out. In fact, I think quite honestly, even the most positive people in this world had trouble seeing past all the negative and finding even the tiniest grains of positivity, but it was there. In fact, it was here right in my little town, and that is what I am focusing on today. 

I know some of you are popping your anti-anxiety pills, putting on your masks and covering your heads waiting for the other shoe to drop reading this and wondering what positivity I can possibly be referring to as gas prices are rising, unemployment is off the charts and COVID is still knocking at our doors, but trust me, it is there and has been all along. 

Last year, at just about this time, I went for a walk in my community. I was frustrated at the time, as Spring Break had turned into a homeschooling nightmare (for me anyway), and by this time, everyone in my house had been doing their part to flatten the curve for a couple of months. We were literally ready to kill each other as we couldn't walk into another room without tripping over something or someone. The 24/7 togetherness was starting to take its toll. I needed some alone time and some positive reinforcement, and walks in my town of Mulvane, KS, usually gave me both. As always, my little community did not disappoint. 

I honestly think that it was on this day, that I can pinpoint the turnaround in my attitude. Until then, I had been so inundated with basic math that was stumping me and a very social, special needs young man who was feeling anything but social or special, seeing only my face day after day. I was turning into a very unpleasant person. 

The news media and social media were even further driving my and everyone else's mood into the ground as they were effectively playing  Chicken Little 24 hours a day. Well, fine! If the sky was falling, then I was going to be outside when it happened. So I was off to enjoy my little piece of the world that always seemed to give me a sense of peace and belonging, even in the worst of times. 

As I began my walk, I expected to see bare streets and a bit of desolation as this is pretty much what the news media told us was expected of us and to be expected outside our locked down homes. Amazingly though, as I walked through the neighborhoods, I started seeing some really positive things. I saw parents were sitting together on front porches, watching their kids play in the yard, and as I walked by, they would smile and yell, "Hello!" People were also out working in their yards and flower beds. Again as I walked by, they would look up and nod a greeting. These little acts of friendliness and socialization, actually made my heart soar a bit. People had their windows open and you could catch wafts of dinner smells coming through screens and sounds of families talking, cooking, and interacting. It was actually comforting, if not surprising, to say the least.

Toys filled front yards and bikes lay across lawn after lawn. You could smell the delicious smell of hamburgers cooking on the grill and all over you could hear kids laughing and playing. Amazingly too, I was not the only one who seemed to be needing some exercise and some outdoor scenery. I passed literally dozens of people out doing just what I was doing. There were parents and kids out walking, couples out walking, people out walking their dogs, and several, who like me, were alone and seemed to be enjoying just a little "me" time. 

In the moment, it dawned on me, that I was seeing a lot of smiles. In front of me, were parents interacting with their kids, and kids who had put down the game controllers and traded them in for bikes, basketballs, and soccer balls. It was then, that I remembered one of my mom's favorite sayings, Something good comes out of everything bad. Perhaps what I was witnessing was the good. Truly, that walk changed my outlook on the world and the negativity that I had been feeling. In some ways, it was a permanent change that went straight into my heart and still remains with me to this day.  

I think that with all the fear, stress, and frustration we had all been feeling all the past months, among the weeds, some flowers were starting to bloom. Families were starting to do things together because many parents were working from home. Meals were eaten together as a family and family game nights were becoming a thing again. Most importantly, it appeared that parents were becoming more in tune with their kids. It was almost like we had chosen to leave a bit of the technological world behind and step back into a world where life was just a bit sweeter and a whole lot simpler.

People were also getting in touch with their creative side as graduations, weddings and parties, were either canceled or put on hold. Parents were finding ways to celebrate their kid's big days whether it was in their driveway with a few close family members and recording it for the rest of the world to see, or whether it was doing drive-by caravans with signs, whistles, and music. It was so out of the norm and unconventional that it was a hit and many kids were asking for similar celebrations even post COVID. Now that is saying something!!!!

Also, in my part of the world and possibly in others too, dragging main streets or popular streets used to be a religion for teens every Friday and Saturday night. It was something we looked forward to and it was simple and fun. Well, my town and many other towns like it,  brought it back. It was something that could be done while we followed the rules, social distanced, and had some much-needed fun, at the same time. Yes, we actually found a way to be out in the open and socialize and still social distance. It was great! It was amazing and it gave the younger generations a peek into what their parents and grandparents called "fun" back in the old days. 

As for me, I decided to start trying some new and different things in the kitchen. Through the help of YouTube, I learned to bake a pretty decent cookie (something I had always failed at before) as well as trying my hand at a little Asian and German cooking. I also became a pretty prolific bread and cinnamon roll baker. This explains a lot about my newfound need for the gym.  

While I was doing all of this, others had put their long days of flattening the curve through lockdown, into gardening and because people had so much time on their hands, 2020 seemed to be a pretty spectacular year for tomatoes, cucumbers, and other assorted veggies. Unfortunately for them but fortunately for me, many of these gardeners found themselves with a surplus of this healthy and mostly green stuff. Thus, I was blessed to be gifted with mounds of it, so what did I do? I canned all summer and I truly began enjoying it. We as a family were also able to spend a lot of time in the pool and yard and the kids spent almost every waking moment outside. All in all, we had probably the best summer we had had in years. 

Funny, when the CDC or authority figures tell us we can't or shouldn't do something, how it just makes it all that much more enticing. I took notice that kids seemed to put their video games and computers away and instead opted for bikes and skates and yes, they even found neighborhood friends to play baseball, kickball, and other almost forgotten outdoor activities with. I mean after all....they were outside! Even some pools were open (not our community pool, but others were) and many kids found a little normalcy spending time doing what kids have done in the summer for generations. I guess we were making lemonade out of the lemons of a tough situation.

Looking back on the last year, yes, there was a lot of negativity and in some ways, the world that we knew pre-COVID, has changed forever. The last 15 months has altered not only how we work and play, but also how we do business and even go to school. It has affected jobs, livelihoods, education, and even family dynamics. Some of this change may prove to be permanent, while other things have slowly started finding their way back to what seems a bit more normal.

Viewing this all from a place of positivity, perhaps parents being able to work from home isn't such a bad thing as in many cases it has brought families closer and made parents more aware of their kids' actions and interactions. Also, parents having a birdseye view of who their kids are as students and what our teachers face on the daily is definitely an eye-opening, if not always a positive thing. I am sure by now, few parents are saying "My kid would never." Now they are likely realizing that not only would their kid do it but in some cases, their kid would be organizing it. Yeah, teachers don't get paid enough. 

We also have gotten to have a front-row seat for the very worst in people, but also we got to see the very best in people too. We have been given a unique opportunity to understand what a gift front-line workers are to our communities and we have been able to see kindness grow from the most unexpected places. We have also learned that regardless of what the CDC or government tells us, that there is no such thing as a non-essential worker and that without all workers, businesses tend to fold up, crumble and become non-existent. We are ALL essential. 

So whether it was learning something new, spending more time with our families, or just having the vantage point of seeing the world through a different lens, COVID was not all bad. It appears to be one of those really sucky life lessons that we never wanted, but we really needed, in order to open our eyes about the world around us and the people in it. 

Since that walk on that one warm spring afternoon in my little town, I have been much less angry and much more understanding that the one thing that affected us all (COVID), did not affect us all in the same way.  Whether we chose to mask up, hunker down, and take our cues from the CDC or whether we chose to handle it in a different way, at the end of the day, it has changed us all. Let us hope that going forward, we take the lessons learned (whether universally or individually)and continue to make positive changes both in our lives and in our own piece of the world, because....."No event or situation is ever so bad if you learn something from it." Yes, another momism. Your welcome. 

So until next time, stay healthy, stay active, and most of all.....work to make your piece of the world a better place. 

Happy Birthing Person's Day! What????

So I took a few days off from blogging, to relax, recuperate, and to decompress. During that time, we celebrated Birthing Persons Day. What????? We celebrated who????? I'm sorry but NO! Just NO!

Okay, today I might get a little triggering to some, so don't say you haven't been warned. 

If you have been avoiding social media or media of all kinds, then you may be scratching your head over the whole Birthing Persons Day comment. What essentially it is, is a way to change that old worn-out Mother's Day into a more inclusive holiday. In truth, it comes from those who are constantly trying to normalize numerous sexes. Its birth, if you will, comes from trans people (women becoming men specifically) who are having babies and saying that yes, men can now have babies. In their eyes, mother is no longer an inclusive term, so like everything else that is currently getting canceled, apparently the word mother should also be canceled, and we should simply ignore the fact that regardless of what you identify as only a biological woman can have a baby.

It should also come as no shock that the NARAL (National Abortion Rights Action League), is completely on board with this, claiming it is a much more inclusive, although incorrect term. In my humble opinion, abortion rights activists have always had the agenda to make human life expendable if it was not viewed as convenient, therefore it dehumanizes the unborn. So what is the next step? Let's also dehumanize or at the very least dismiss the importance of the mother too. Instead of viewing motherhood as something special and the ability to grow a human inside you as miraculous, let's instead make mother a canceled word and make pregnancy and childbirth something anyone can do! But can just anyone do this?

Not surprisingly, some on the left have already jumped on board with this and have even started referring to themselves as "birthing persons." For real???? Where are the feminists who usually throw major fits about this kind of thing? Why is there not marching in the streets and a demand for the right to be called "mother" and a stand being taken that "Mother's Day" should be upheld? Instead, we hear.....crickets. 

Now, this in my opinion is not about trans people per se. I do not care what sex you want to be and I don't care what you want your pronouns to be. If you want to be called, "he, she, they, here, there," I don't care. That is your business. I will even go so far as to say, if YOU want to be called a jelly bean, I will call you a jelly bean, but if we are erring on the side of science, then there are only two biological sexes, male and female, and only one of those biological sexes can actually carry a baby in their womb and little hint....it is not the biological male. 

I am a biological woman. I am called mom, mommy, mama, mother, ma'am, and after some read this, probably some other names that won't sound so pretty, but the fact is, I have earned all of those names. I have carried children inside me from conception to birth and I have been a mom to those kids since they were conceived. I have gone through all of the biological womanly things from starting my period to menopause, and while some of that has literally sucked, I have biologically been through it all. I have also been a single mom for the last 20 years, raising kids on my own and often times dealing with the fallout of being a single mother in the world. Because of all of this, I have earned a day where I eat free, get a gift or two, and where I remind each of my children just how long my labor was with them. Why? Because I have done what no biological male can. I provided the egg, which became the human that grew inside me for nine months, and then I suffered through the labor that no man was created to suffer through. 

I have earned Mother's Day, and I will be damned if I give into a society that wants to simply dismiss my role in creating human life and make it and me ordinary. I am not ordinary! I am a woman and more importantly......I AM A MOTHER! So if as a woman, you think so little of yourself and your sisters, as to have the greatest role you were ever given on this planet be classified as something any mere"person" can do, then you go for it, but as for me and mine, we will celebrate Mother's Day at my house and you can count on that. 

Until next time....be sunny, be happy and give your mom a hug.....she has earned it! 

 

The 7th Daughter and a Near Miss (Another Mom Story)

If you have followed this blog in the past, then you know that I have talked about my mom before and about her interesting life. Mom was the 7th daughter of a 7th daughter and she was told all her growing up years that because of this, she was "special." The largely known and I guess believed, legend behind this old belief is that the 7th daughter of the 7th daughter has second sight and yes, my mother definitely had second sight. So much so that she hated it and got to the point where she would never talk about it. Her mother too seemed to know things that most would not, but that is a story for another day.

Maybe it was because of this whole 7th daughter thing, but my mother attracted the craziest people and incidents all through her life. As a kid, I loved nothing more than to listen to my mom talk about her always interesting and sometimes terrifying life. It included everything from her dating the son of a mafioso, to a mysteriously red painted bathroom, to her being terrified by a shadow man of her own.

 Now, much of this might be chalked up to a vivid imagination, except my mother wasn't really like that. She was very much black and white and she wasn't one for the fantastical. Also, in my lifetime, I also had a front-row seat for some of the craziness that was her life, as it spilled over into my life and the lives of others that knew nothing about my mother's earlier experiences, so yeah, I pretty much think that there may be some truth to the whole 7th daughter thing.

There are many of my mom's stories that I could tell, and eventually will tell, because....they ought to be told. Today though, I am going to tell about one of the truly scary stories that I was actually a part of, but was much too little to remember. Listening to a story on the "Let's Not Meet," podcast, reminded me of this story, so I thought I would share it here. 

My mom was always a very pretty lady, but when she was young, she was stunning. She was a very small woman at 5'4" and she weighed maybe 100 lbs. She had long hair that she wore up and she had high cheekbones. Truly she was lovely. So when she was in her late 20's, she was a single mom (not exactly the norm for that era) living in a small apartment in Denver, CO. She worked as a 3rd shift RN, so she could be home during the day with me. At the time, I wasn't even a year old. 

One day, Mom was working around the apartment, cleaning and trying to keep up with me. The apartment we lived in was small and only had one door. It was in the front with a screen door and a solid door. In the solid door was the mail slot. It was apparently the way most received their mail back in the early 1960s, so when people knew the mailman would be coming around, they would unlock their screens so he had access to the mail slot. 

It was about mid-morning and as Mom finished up dishes, she heard a knock at her door and thinking nothing of it, went to answer it. As she did, standing in front of her, was a man in his mid 30's. He immediately and quickly, told her that he was selling magazine subscriptions and wanted to know if she was interested in buying some. Mom took one look at him, he was wearing a hat and a suit that had definitely seen better days. It appeared to be threadbare in places and somewhat wrinkled. The man carried no clipboard, no briefcase, and nothing whatsoever that would indicate he was selling anything. Mom was instantly suspicious and told him "No thank you," and she started to pull the screen door shut when he suddenly yanked it wide open. She then stepped back and tried to shut the wooden door, but the man was quick and he tried to shove his leg between the door and the jam before she could get it closed. Again, Mom was a small woman and not really a match for a full-grown man. 

Mom immediately started to panic thinking about me, just feet away and this strange man, trying to force his way into our house. She could feel herself starting to lose traction against the door as he started to push against the door with his full weight. All she could think of was if she could only get the door shut then she could put the deadbolt on, but getting that door closed was looking less and less likely. Even her mother bear adrenaline was starting to be no match for this man who obviously had an agenda my mom was not wanting to find out about. 

Just as the man's strength seemed to be overcoming my mom's, from around the corner came the mailman. He was a black man who was a good 5 inches taller and about 30 pounds heavier than the man trying to get into the apartment. The mailman stopped to assess what might be going on between this man and my now frightened to her core, mom. The mailman then walked directly up and stepped right next to the man. "Is everything alright?" he asked, looking straight at my mom and seeing the tears of relief forming in her eyes. He knew full well, that nothing was currently alright. 

"No!" mom managed to force out. "This man is trying to get into my apartment." 

The man immediately stepped back and straightened his wrinkled suit and stuttered, that he was only trying to sell her some magazines. 

"Oh," the mailman said, reaching into his parcel and pulling out three magazines, "Well you are at the wrong place sir," he continued, "I am the regular mailman for this complex and I can tell you that this nice lady gets plenty of magazines already." As he said this, he handed my mom her mail and the magazines that he had pulled from his parcel. She had never ordered these magazines but she silently held them in her hand. 

The man looked flustered, and for a second he appeared to size up the mailman. Realizing that he likely would not stand a chance against him, he mumbled something more about just selling magazines and took off, quickly walking across the street. 

Mom began to cry with relief and thanked the mailman profusely, handing him back the magazines that obviously belonged to others on his route. He took the magazines and said, "Now ma'am, I'm going to stand right here while you pull this screen door shut and lock it. Then I want you to shut that big door and lock it too. Then I want you to check all your other windows and make sure they are shut tight and locked," and finally, realizing maybe even more so than my mother, the potentially fatal mistake she had made by opening the door to this man in the first place, he said, "and ma'am, do not open your door to anyone you don't know. Next time someone might not be here to step in." 

Mom knew he was right and thanked him again and again as she did as he instructed and locked her screen. Just as promised, the mailman did not budge until he heard the deadbolt click and then the chain lock slid in place. He then took a look around and satisfied that the man had seen it in his best interest to move on, the mailman continued his deliveries.

After Mom finished checking all the windows, she began to regain her bearings a bit. She checked on me, still laying on the floor, playing with a toy, innocently oblivious to the near-miss that had just taken place. She then walked back to the front door and the window on the other side of it, just to double or maybe triple check that it was all locked up tight. As she pulled back the curtain, her breath caught in her throat and the panic began to creep up in her again. Looking diagonally across the street on the corner, leaning up against, of all things.....a public mailbox, stood the man who had tried to get into her house. He apparently had waited until the mailman had finished his rounds in the area before he came out of hiding to once again make his presence known to my mom. 

As he saw Mom peer out the window, he tipped his hat to her as he nonchalantly sucked on the butt of a half-smoked cigarette. Now this was a different time and a different day, as today, had someone been in her shoes, they would have immediately called the police. Then though, police were only called in emergencies, and as scary as the earlier incident had been, he was no longer menacing her. Now he was merely watching her, or what she assumed was her, and she knew there was no law against that. Moreover, she was not going to be viewed as a reactionary woman with an overactive imagination by the police. No, she would save that call until she thought they could actually do something. This was not the time. 

So for the next few hours, Mom stood close to the window and watched the man as he never moved from his leisurely stance against the mailbox, while he chain-smoked himself through a pack of cigarettes. At some point, my congenial disposition changed into that of a tired baby that needed fed, changed, and put down for a nap. As Mom, jumped to her motherly duties, about half an hour passed, and by the time she returned to look out the window, the man was gone. She wasn't sure if this relieved her or frightened her even more. Rather than panic though, she reminded herself that the doors and windows were locked, and at least for now, we were safe. 

The rest of the afternoon passed as fairly normal. Mom finished the work that she had left unattended when the man showed up, and only occasionally did she peek out to see if the man had returned. He did not. 

As evening approached, Mom fed me, and then she made herself a sandwich and sat down to watch the evening news. As the picture cleared and the news began, the top story was of a stewardess, that had been found dead in her apartment that afternoon. The apartment was just two blocks over from where we lived, and luckily, the police had been able to apprehend the killer, as a neighbor had heard the girl scream and the killer came running out as the neighbor ran over to check on the girl. They showed the man in handcuffs being taken to the patrol car by police. Mom let out a scream that startled me to the point of causing baby tears. There, on the tv was the man that had tried to sell Mom magazines that morning. The girl had been found with her clothes halfway off and strangled. Blessedly, her screams had stopped him from doing what Mom knew in her heart that he had intended to do to her. Now Mom called the police. 

After hearing Mom's story, the police figured that Mom had been his original target, but after the mailman stopped him, and once he realized that Mom had locked the house up tight and had no plans of leaving the apartment, the guy must have decided that she was no longer an easy target and decided to move on to someone else. 

The poor stewardess had just come in from a flight and had just gotten home when she was attacked. Did this guy offer to sell her magazines too? Did he manage to force his way into her apartment because no kind mailman came to her aid? Mom didn't know and neither did the police, all they knew was on that day, Mom and I were the lucky ones, and the poor stewardess, not so much. The poor stewardess never saw it coming.  

To this day I wonder about that mailman and I wonder if he realized that he had saved not one but two lives that day. Without him, I have no doubt that things would have turned out very differently for both Mom and me. So was this all about my mom being a 7th daughter of a 7th daughter, or was this just one of those scary near misses in life, that happens to all of us, and stays with you for the rest of your life? I wouldn't even venture a guess. 

So until we meet again......stay healthy, stay happy, and always be careful who you open the door to. 

Do You Podcast? I Do!

Being of the age I am, music was always my go-to source when I needed to work out, clean the house, drive just about anywhere or simply unwind. I have made my way through record players, transistor radio's, 8-track players, tape players, stereo's with all the bells and whistles, boom boxes, walk-mans, disc-mans, cd's, iPods, and now my phone. In other words, whatever was the newest thing for music to be coming out of, I had it and I was listening. 

Today though, we are not just relegated to listening to music through our devices and headphones. With our smartphones, we can listen to a variety of things from books to my new favorite thing, podcasts, all with no more effort than carrying around the outdated iPod. Okay, sometimes technology is pretty cool. 

So always a die-hard music listening fan no matter what I was doing, for some reason I decided to start exploring the world of podcasts. I honestly think maybe my first step into the podcast world was spurred on by my two older sons. I am a huge fan of true crime stories and murder mysteries on tv. I think I inherited this from my mother, who also was a fan. She used to read every true crime book she could get her hands on. At any rate, my boys gave me no end of grief over my entertainment choices. The older one commented every time he walked into the room and would ask if I might not like to watch a comedy for once instead of my murder shows, while the other son started calling my true crime "obsession" (their word not mine), murder porn. Now mind you, this entertainment critiquing was coming from those who found slasher movies and South Park, quality tv viewing, so truly, their opinion didn't rank very high on the things I worried about, but my grandkids also gave my choice of viewing a few weird looks from time to time, so maybe my true crime wasn't for everyone.

I guess it was about when I started going to the gym, that I decided I wanted to make better use of my time on the treadmill. I figured that rather than just listening to songs I had already heard thousands of times, maybe I would do something different. So I  started looking up podcasts. Naturally, I looked up true crime. I was in heaven. There were so many podcasts devoted to just this thing. I began sifting through them and looking for ones that really piqued my interest. 

Now before I go any further, for those of you who have not ventured into the world of podcasts, there are literally all kinds of podcasts. There are some that are like listening to the news. There are others that are like listening to a talk show, and others like listening to a lecture of sorts. My favorite though, are the ones that are basically told like a story or like an old-time radio show. 

The true crime podcasts that I seem to be drawn to most though were crimes discussed by comedians turned sleuths. Believe it or not, there are a lot of these and they are quite entertaining. I think since it is such dark subject matter, a little well-placed levity or in some cases, badly placed levity, helps to balance out the story and keep things a bit lighter. My second favorite is the podcasts where real detectives and police tell the stories of crimes that have come across their desks, and that they have had to solve. And finally, my third favorite is the cold case stories that can be decades old, that are being brought forward again and given new life with genealogical DNA and old clues being picked up by fresh eyes and new listener's ears. They all make for hours of entertaining and enlightening information.

 After stepping into this new world, I found myself with my headphones on and listening to podcasts most of the time. Not unlike music, I had a whole playlist of my new favorite podcasts and many had new episodes daily, some weekly, some bi-weekly, and some monthly. I was actually enjoying this far more than tv, as I could clean a tub and still be listening to an unsolved murder mystery. Bonus, no one knew what I was listening to and the kids could be in the same room and not give me funny looks. Of course, now my two children have opinions on me having headphones on all the time, but that is a them issue and not a me issue. 

One day, after being caught up on all my current true crime episodes, I decided to branch out even further into this new podcast world and look at some other types of podcasts. I found that I also really liked some of the scarier true-life stories, as well as some history podcasts, some political podcasts, and some religious podcasts. Quite honestly, there are podcasts for just about every kind of person and every kind of genre. They are almost addicting. 

I have found that since I have started listening to podcasts, I am actually learning a great deal. It appears that my old brain is still just spongy enough to absorb some new facts or at the very least....old facts that I have forgotten.  Listening to some of the historical podcasts, I have learned things I either slept through in high school or was simply never taught. I have run across some fascinating little-known stories that keep listening fun and even a bit unexpected at times. I have also learned that politics goes far deeper than just what we see and hear on the surface. Some of the podcasts give a deep dive into what goes on behind the scenes that we don't always get to know about from the mainstream media. Who knew that all was not as it seems in the world of presidents, senators, and such?  It all really is quite fascinating. 

One of my favorite podcasts that is non-murder porn, is called, Let's Not Meet. This podcast is about stories that listeners write in and tell about the weird, strange, and sometimes downright terrifying encounters they have had with people, places and things that they don't want to meet up with again. It is amazing how many near misses with serial killers and kidnappers there are out there. It is a weird and at times, a scary world, where sometimes the scariest creatures we run into are the other humans around us.... and this particular podcast shines a light on a lot of it. 

Now don't get me wrong, I still love my music and it still makes its way into the soundtrack of my life quite often, but with podcasts, I feel like my brain is working just a little harder, to visualize the stories that I am hearing, and most of all, I am always learning. In some strange way, it feels like my brain is doing double duty when I am both doing cardio and listening to a story about Billy the Kid. Yeah, I know. I am weird. 

Well, if any of this has piqued your interest and you might be looking for something just a little different, then maybe a podcast or three, are right up your alley. If you are interested in checking some out, then below I am listing some of my favorites. If however, I am preaching to the choir and you are already a podcast listener and lover, then please, leave me some of your favorites in the comments below. You can never find enough good podcasts.....right? 

Some of my favorites:

My Favorite Murder: two comedians, research and tell the stories of famous and not so famous murders. They also share murder stories from their fans. Their tag line: Stay sexy and don't get murdered? 

Small Town Dicks: Yeardley Smith of Lisa Simpson fame, and twin brother detectives Dan and Dave from small-town America, tell stories of murders they have been associated with as well as, they have on guest detectives who tell their own small-town murder stories. 

The Murder Squad: Detectives Jensen and Holes tell stories of murders and crimes both solved and unsolved. 

Let's Not Meet: Listener generated stories of true life scary stories filled with near misses and terrifying events with persons, places, and things they never want to meet again. 

Life Is Worth Living (Bishop Fulton Sheen): Talks and sermons that the late Bishop Fulton Sheen gave during his life as a Bishop of the Roman Catholic church. 

The Way I Heard It (Mike Rowe): TV personality Mike Rowe tells true stories reminiscent of Paul Harvey that always have a surprise ending, where the listener always learns something they didn't know before. 

History This Week: Well-known and little-known stories of history that happened on this date each week. 

American Story Tellers: History at its finest with historical stories we never knew we wanted to hear and that we never learned in school.

Well, there you have it. These are some of my favorite podcasts. I hope you give them a try and that you enjoy them as much as I do, even if you aren't into murder porn, like me. 

So....until next time, may you stay healthy, may you enjoy the warmer weather, and most of all, may you too find your favorite podcast. 

Simpler Times and Impromptu Naps

 

When I was a kid, life seemed so much different. Maybe it was because life had a simpler feel to it and was a bit more structured. In fact, it seemed structured right down to the seasons. Yes, seasons even seemed to be more definite and predictable back then. 

Structure also carried over into our daily lives as there were definite meal times and rules that guided us through our days and kept our body and mind in tune with the world around us.  We got up at certain times, ate at certain times, went to work and school at certain times, played at certain times, and slept at certain times. We ate our meals as a family, did our homework, and had bedtimes. Also, because there were only three tv networks and three tv channels back then, we even knew what we were watching on tv each night. Monday night was Gunsmoke, Wednesday night was The Virginian, and the rest of the week was no different. 

Rules also played an important part in our lives. For instance, we knew that if we got in trouble at school, it didn't matter what it was, we were also getting it double at home. We knew to respect adults, and not to lie. We were taught to own up to our mistakes, to do our homework before we went out to play, and to always come in when the street lights came on. We also knew that if our mom called us into lunch or supper, we best come running immediately. Yes, moms would stand out on the porch or in the yard and yell your name, and you knew your mom's voice and you knew you better be home as fast as your legs could carry you if you heard it. This system left little room for mistakes so you better be within earshot. 

On weekends, Saturday mornings were ruled by cartoons, and possibly cereal in front of the tv...if you weren't a messy eater. No kid missed Saturday morning cartoons, and then mid-morning, as cartoons wound down, if you were anywhere between 10 and 18, you watched American Bandstand. It was literally a ritual. After Bandstand though, the tv went off and if you lived in my house, you picked up a dust rag, pulled out the vacuum and you did your weekend room cleaning and housework or if you were a boy (yes, we were a sexist world) you mowed the lawn and did yard work. If your parents were even slightly cool though, they would let you do these chores while listening to the transistor radio (it made the work a little less of a chore.)  After the house and yard passed inspection, the rest of Saturday was for friends, fun, and family. This could include anything from a sleepover to a BBQ to a drive-in movie, and just about anything in between. 

When Sunday arrived, our structured lives and bodies, instinctively knew that it was time to slow down and rest a bit. Our weekdays and Saturday were filled and we were always busy, whether it was necessary stuff or fun stuff, but Sundays were different. On Sundays, no stores, gas stations, or businesses of any kind were open. In fact, the streets were usually empty of traffic except for those going to church or heading over to see other family. Sundays were just a quiet and recuperative day.  

Sunday mornings started with breakfast and then off to church without exception. God gave us Monday through Saturday and we gave Him Sunday. After church, we would pull out the Sunday paper. It was a family event as it would end up spread out all over the living room. It was a really great day if you were the first one to get to the Sunday comics as they always had a section of their own, but if you were too slow, then you might get stuck with the "local news," or the "society page," until the comics were available. Once the paper had been read and any interesting articles discussed, you would help mom in the kitchen. There was always a big Sunday meal that most of us called "dinner" or Sunday dinner. This meal always included roast or chicken or some other special once-a-week fare, with plenty of salads, sides, and desserts. We would eat until we were stuffed, clean the kitchen, and then enjoy our afternoon. 

Sunday afternoons were for relaxing, resting, and recharging. You spent time with family, either in the yard or around the house. Maybe it was a game of checkers with your sister, watching the football game with your dad, playing kickball in the yard with your brother, or finding a nice quiet spot and reading your favorite book (that was usually me). On occasions, there was also the impromptu nap, that would sneak up on you, and leave you confused and wondering what day it was when you awoke. Whatever your choice of activity though, it always felt laid back and easy going. For whatever reason, Sundays just always went at a slower pace. 

Sunday evenings were sandwiches or leftovers and The Wonderful World of Disney, on tv. Afterward, you got everything ready for the next day, got yourself ready for bed, and then you were off to sleep in preparation for Monday, where it started all over again. Wow! Those were some good days. 

I was thinking about all of this in church this morning. Maybe it was because my brain was having trouble focusing as it was flooded with all that I have to do this week and all that I felt I had to do today. I was feeling overwhelmed and so extremely compelled to get it all done, for fear that my lack of completion might cause the world to end or some other equally fantastical and guilt-producing outcome. Even as I thought about it, I knew how ridiculous I was being. I just felt though, as if I was falling behind in a game that I never seem to be able to keep up with. Then suddenly, I was thinking about the past. I was remembering childhood days and just how simple it all seemed back then. Oh, what I wouldn't give.......

Was it really that simple back then, or was that just my child's view of it? Maybe a bit of both. As a kid, we see what our parents want us to see, therefore, if they want us to see the world in a simpler way, we were given simple rules and simple structure, and the harder stuff was withheld from our view. On the other hand, back then, I really do think that the world was simpler. It wasn't so full of information and media giving us conflicting stories and constantly pushing us to do the next bigger and better thing. We weren't constantly tantalized with products and gadgets that we were coerced into believing we couldn't live without, thus causing us to have to work more hours to keep up with our desire for more stuff. Our parents were post WWII kids and they believed that you made money but you didn't spend beyond your needs, you didn't borrow money and if you didn't have the money, you didn't buy the stuff. The money issues of today, credit cards, being upside down on loans, and the constant payments to everyone and his brother, were almost non-existent when I was a kid, thus the money worries that plague our modern world, were not a thing back then. When I was a kid, the world wasn't open 24 hours a day, with chrome and neon beckoning us in. Instead, our world was smaller, our tastes and desires were simpler, our values were more centered and we seemed to understand that you worked hard and played hard Monday through Saturday, but on Sunday, you took that day to pray, relax, recharge, and just plain rest. 

So I came home, and I cleared all of my "have to dos" off my plate for today, and I decided that my only job for today is to rest. Maybe I will watch a movie with the grandkids or maybe I will find that quiet space and curl up with a book. If I am lucky, maybe I will even get an impromptu nap and wake up confused, bewildered, and blessedly rested. Whatever I do today though, it will be with gratitude that once again, God has listened to my heart and guided me right where I need to be and with the knowledge that sometimes, the simplest things in life, are really all we need. 

So until next time.....may you enjoy the simpler things, may you feel gratitude for all you have, and may an impromptu nap also be in your future!

 

Activism, Changing the World and Finding Common Ground

Activism has been taking a step out of the dark and showing itself in the light of day, in my town of late. From adults to high school students, people have been letting their voices be heard on issues, and in several cases, they have had to step out of their comfort zones and risk community backlash and school fallout, all in the name of standing up for what they feel is right. Regardless of our personal feelings on any given issue, how can we not support the right of free speech and activism, when someone is brave enough to let their voice be heard in the name of doing what they think is right?

Maybe it is that we are spending more time on the internet and social media. Maybe it is that we have lost a year in lockdown. And maybe it is that since 2008 we have gotten way more political. I am not sure what all goes into it, but the fact is, if you look at social media, and even the world around you, and it seems that EVERYONE is an activist of some sort these days. 

Not a day goes by that you don't see posts supporting or decimating the left or the right. Wearing masks and quarantining has become a huge hot button. Literally, everyone has a position on masks and if you have an opinion on the subject and speak it openly one way or another, you will quickly find out just who your opposition is. 

From kneeling at sporting events and racism to LGBTQ+ issues and abortion, social media has given everyone a voice, but what do we do with that voice? Are we using our voice and our activism for the good? Are we making the world a better place with our right to free speech, or are we steadily stomping it into the ground because we forget that our voice is not the only voice, our beliefs are not the only beliefs and our opinions are not the only opinions. We don't listen anymore. We don't hear, we don't show respect for other points of view and at the end of the day, we simply don't care about anyone's voice but our own? I think we forget that when we stop listening and refuse to hear, then we stop learning, and when we stop learning, we cease having an educated opinion, and thus.....we can't change a damn thing. 

Now, I will be the first one to admit, that this world has issues. Some of them could be catastrophic if they aren't worked on and fixed, but how do you fix something when no one can agree on what the fix needs to be and just how to go about that fix? Well, according to millions of social media users, you go online and you name call, insult, and degrade each other, and I guess, hope that the loudest most obnoxious voice wins. If however, you decided to take your views to the streets, then you demand change by wrecking, destroying, and threatening. Neither way seems to be working and our world is still a mess and getting worse. 

The fact is, for every group trying to find a fix, whether I agree with them or not, they have a grievance and they feel unheard, disrespected and they are angry and frustrated, and at the end of the day, even if our viewpoints are different, they do deserve to be heard. Just think, someone does not have to agree with pro-life views, but if those with differing opinions just stopped and respectfully listened and actually heard pro-life individuals respectfully give their views, then there still might not be agreement, but there just might be a little more understanding and respect on both sides. Notice that respect always plays a key role in this. 

It is that way with any two-sided issue. I don't care what the issue is, at the very least, there is always room for improvement and at the most, an issue may need a complete overhaul. That won't happen though unless all involved can agree on what the problems are, the goals they are working towards, and the path they wish to take to get the greatest desired results. It also means that they may not have all the answers and so if they are willing to listen and learn, they may actually gain some useful information from very unexpected places. 

There are literally as many world, country, state, and city, community causes, and issues as there are humans living on this earth. Many of them could have a huge positive impact on us if we worked to unify rather than divide and if we treated each other as respected equals regardless of whether we agreed on everything, what we looked like, how we prayed, how much money we had, where our ancestors came from, who we sleep with or what our sex is. 

Now I have never been a get out and carry a sign type activist. For one, my life is really not ideally set up for such time investment away from home, and two, I have always found that I do my best work with my words and a little behind the scenes maneuvering. In other words, I don't necessarily need to be seen in order to be heard and get my voice out there. There is also a somewhat better chance of my voice and my message being heard if it's in the written word. This is not to say though, that there isn't a time and place for a truly peaceful protest on occasion, or to make your presence known at a town hall or school board meeting. We need to remember though, that you can't expect others to hear your message of positive change when your actions are nothing but negative. 

So how do we change things? How do we start making this world and our own little piece of it better? We listen. We start showing respect for each other. We accept that we don't all have to think alike or agree, we just have to be willing to look for common ground. We don't need to destroy or riot to fix things. We don't have to degrade or insult other people or viewpoints just to get our point across, and a hugely important fact, no matter what we think.....we aren't always right. So let's start small. Often real change comes from the smallest seed and it can start right at home. 

Let's start with our kids. Let's teach them to be kind. Let's teach them to identify when there is a need and to act upon it and help others. Let's teach them to pick up the trash at the park instead of walking past it or adding to it. Let's teach them that regardless of what is going on in the world, that the foundation of this country is freedom and we are so blessed to be one of the few countries in the world to have such freedom. Let's teach them to be proud of who they are and where they come from and that we are all different in our own way and those differences should be celebrated and respected. Let's teach them that the important things are character, hard work, and the desire to achieve. Let's teach them that while we may all be created equal, that at times life is simply not fair. Sometimes we have to pull up our big kid pants, deal with the circumstances at hand, and move forward. Let's teach them that it's not the easy things in life that make us stronger, but the really hard things that do. Let's teach them that in real life, no one gets a participation trophy. You have to work hard for and earn everything you get but it is oh so worth it. And finally, let's teach them that if they want respect, they must give respect, and first and foremost, they must respect themselves. When kids respect themselves, they seldom feel the need to disrespect or bully others.  

Now if we are fortunate enough to get these lessons out there to our kids, then already we are going to be way ahead of the game. The next step is our own neighborhoods. Check on your neighbors. If you see someone's lawn is overgrown and no one is mowing it, go check on them. Perhaps there is a reason it is overgrown. Perhaps they can use a little help. So get out there and mow it. If your neighbor loses his job, bring him groceries. Ask if he needs help writing a resume. Ask if they need help watching the kids while he is job hunting. Finally, work together to keep your neighborhood clean and safe and keep an eye on each other. A good nosey neighbor or two can do wonders to keep crime down and streets safe in most neighborhoods. 

Then take it to the community. Go to your local police stations and get to know the officers. Introduce your kids and let them know what the job of the police officer is and teach them to respect the badge and the person wearing it because they put their lives on the line every single day. Make sure that your kids understand that while yes, there are some bad people in all walks of life, that the majority of police are good and have only the best interest of the community at heart as they do their jobs. Also, make sure that you shop locally in your community and help keep your dollars where they are needed. Support local businesses and be willing to give a new struggling business more than one chance. Know who your city or community council members are as well as your local board of education. Keep up on what is going on in the community and if you disagree with something going on, then respectfully voice your opinion for change. Most importantly, show up and vote. 

For your state....pay attention to what's going on. Know your governor and your state representatives. Follow legislation in your state and keep up on issues. If there are things going on in your state government that you don't agree with, then never be afraid to email or call your state representatives. They need to hear your voice as they work for you, not the other way around. Talk to friends and neighbors in your state and make them aware of what is going on too. Let them also know how to make contact with state leaders. Change does not happen without work and sometimes that work means stepping outside your comfort zone. Again....show up and vote. 

In your country....know your senators. Always be vocal when it comes to change, no matter which side of the issue you are on. Support causes physically when possible and when it's not, a few dollars never hurts. Know the issues and keep up with what is going on in Washington D.C., and never underestimate the power of strongly worded emails and blogs. Get the facts on important issues and not just Facebook facts. Do your own research and get more than one viewpoint on any issue. Listen to what others are saying, but at the end of the day, it is okay to view a situation differently and to support those things which go along with your beliefs, morality, and ethics. Most of all, we need to remember that if we want real positive change, WE DON'T ALL HAVE TO AGREE, but we do need to respectfully find common ground from which we can grow from. That usually means that both sides have to give a little for the best interest of the common cause. And again....VOTE!

If we do these things and encourage others to do them too, it is my belief, that things will begin to change for the better and the world will begin to become a better and more positive place for all of us. 

Activism starts on the most basic level with our kids. When they are taught kindness, charity, respect for themselves and others (whether we all agree or not), and pride in themselves, their neighborhood, community, state, and country, then we have already circumvented a lot of future issues. 

Maybe part of the problem is that we see each other as rivals, competitors, and enemies. Instead, if we reached out to each other, helped each other, and were willing to listen and work with each other, we might see each other as friends, neighbors, and fellow human beings. It is much easier to find common ground with a fellow human being than it is with an enemy.

Peaceful protests, picket signs, and marching in the streets demanding our voices be heard above everyone else's is fine and it even has its place, but sometimes, the subtle little things can be even more powerful than we ever imagined. By being kind in the face of hate and disrespect, and reaching out even if the person you reach out to might not do the same for you, can have miraculous results. Voicing your opinion with respect and listening to opposing views with just as much respect, and remembering that each of us is a human being and we all have our story and our reasons for believing as we do, now that is positive activism that can move mountains, soften hearts and make people willing to ask questions, learn and find common ground even with the toughest issues.  

So be that activist and stand strong for what you believe, but always remember that the guy on the other side of the issue is also standing strong for what he believes too, and unless we start to listen to each other, really hear each other, and are willing to give a little and work towards unity in the middle, we are going to forever remain fractured and divided on the fringe where absolutely nothing changes and nobody wins.

Until next time....I wish you peace, kindness, and the ability to always find some common ground.  

That Time of Year

Yesterday was the 30th Anniversary of the Andover tornado. It is a memory that will be with me forever. It was one of those events in life that I will always remember every detail of the day, right down to the way the air felt and how it smelled. So the following blog piece in no way makes light of the power of a tornado or the damage that it can do. It simply says that yes, they do happen, but to live in fear of Mother Nature is futile, so find the beauty and yes, even the excitement in the storm, and then use your head and take precautions....and really, isn't that how we should handle everything in life?  

It's that time of year. Yep, it is tornado season in Tornado Alley. As scary as that may sound to some, to many of us who actually live here, this time of year is rather exciting. No......that is not crazy talk. 

In the midwest, from late March to mid-June, it is prime time for spring storms that often work themselves into major tornadic events. It is a changing of the seasons where warm and cold air meet, causing atmospheric changes that result in amazing light shows across the sky, and much-needed rain for the new life coming up out of the ground after a long winter's sleep. To be honest, I think this is actually my favorite time of year. 

Yes, I have seen a good many tornados in my life and lived through some pretty crazy near misses over the years. I have also seen the aftermath of those giant tornadic beasts once they have been unleashed on homes, neighborhoods, and even towns. It is not a sight you will soon forget, and yet many after living through such a thing, will often go right back to where it happened and rebuild, and life will go on. How brave of them of them you say? No, they just know that no place is without its dangers, and even in the heart of Tornado Alley, most never face a tornado head-on, so if you happen to be in its path and the worst does happen, what are the chances of it happening again? Don't you love our mid-western logic? 

That being said, there is something electric about this time of year. Maybe it is the fact that everything is starting fresh and new. Everything is coming into color again as the black and white of winter fades into the background. The heat of the sun starts mixing with the humidity of spring days and before you know it, you can literally feel when a storm is brewing. I remember my mom used to just know when we were going to have storms. She always said she could "feel" it. As a kid, I had no idea what she was talking about, but as I grew older and lived through many storm seasons myself, I too learned what it was like to "feel" a storm coming. 

My mom wasn't the only one who knew when storms were on the horizon though. Our dogs over the years have always been pretty amazing indicators of incoming storms. When I was young we had an outside dog, who you couldn't drag in the house if you wanted to, except if bad storms were headed in. He knew they were coming long before we did and he let us know by making a mad dash inside the house if the door was opened. He was never wrong. Nowadays, we have a part Rottweiler part Boxer who is a yard and garage dweller. He has no desire to be indoors as he loves his leisurely days outdoors (nor matter the season) and if the elements bother him, he has a nice cozy bed in the garage. He is one content pup until there are storms in the air. On these occasions, you open the door and he dives past you and runs straight to the basement. He wants no part of the outside. My corgi too is affected by storms. As he has gotten older, storms bother him more and more, and long before I even am aware of a storm, he begins pacing and whining. He too wants to be in the basement, a place he usually avoids at all cost. These dogs just know. 

Me on the other hand, when I feel that electricity in the air as the heat and humidity meet, it makes my heart race a little faster. It is an adrenaline rush that goes clear to my bones. It is a feeling I have felt my entire life and I actually look forward to it each year. In a strange way, it makes me feel alive. Maybe it is because the long winter months are over and this time of year is all about life. 

As I have gotten older though, I have also noticed that with storms in the air, you can tell a definite change in people's attitudes too. Kids seem to be more restless and a lot less cooperative and adults get cranky and combative. It also affects my head. I think it has to do with the barometric pressure, but the older I get, the more these storms seem to trigger my migraines. If social media is any indication, I am not the only one. 

When these storms do hit, even in the fury that they can sometimes bring, there is also a beauty. There is just something about the thunder rumbling and then booming a crescendo and watching the lightning dancing across the sky in streaks, sometimes dipping straight down to the ground that make me feel as if I am looking at some of God's greatest works. And there is just something so stirring about watching the rain fall at times softly and then suddenly in torrents as if the skies were opened, and then finally the wind comes to play. These magnificent storms seldom come without the wind, twisting the leaves on trees and bending branches at times to their breaking point. The wind will grab the rain and send it sideways making it almost feel like it could cut you if you stayed in it too long. The air literally swirls with electricity and anticipation as you wait and wonder what Mother Nature has yet to give in the next moments. Usually, it is just a light show illuminating rotating clouds that hold the question, will they continue gearing up for the emergence of a tornado, or will they just rapidly move on by, leaving their possible devastation for another day? 

After the storm, there is usually quiet. Often the sun peaks through the dark, ominous clouds as they move on to their next destination. The raindrops glisten in the beams of light and the air begins to heat up again after the cooling rain. It's as if every leaf, plant, and blade of grass seem to stand a little taller and a little brighter after the soaking rain and the air smells clean and new. Everything is not only alive but it seems to be thriving, even after such a storm. As quickly as the storm began, it is gone and all is settled. The animals are calm, the kids calm down, adults seem to lose their "stormy" attitudes and even my headaches seem to subside. The world is cleansed and it feels almost like a peace is settling in. Is it any wonder I am so infatuated with this time of year?

Now I know that severe storms and possible tornadoes are not everyone's cup of tea, just like a hurricane and strong earthquakes would not be mine, but if you look, and I mean really look, there is beauty in the worst of things and it seems to me more so, in those that have as much potential to cause disaster as they do to bring forth life. 

So the next time that you hear that there is potential for severe storms and tornados in my neck of the woods, just know that around here, kids are fussy, adults are fussier, the dogs are heading for the basement and my heart is racing with anticipation, just waiting for that first rumble, first flash and those first drops..... of soul healing rain.

Do you like storms like I do? If so, tell me about it in the comments. Until next time, stay safe, stay healthy and look for beauty everywhere....even in the storms.