Tuesday, August 20, 2013

The Mother's Curse

Today I heard.....my mother's words come from my lips. I am sure if I had been able to see myself at that moment I would also have seen her mannerism and attitude showing through too. No, it is not the first time that this has happened but when I catch myself I always find it amusing. Well sort of.

What I find most interesting for lack of a better word is, often when I channel my mother it is with words or attitude that I swore as a child/teenager that I would never use on my kids. Her pearls of wisdom such as "Say a prayer to St. Anthony," when something was lost or "Offer it up," when I was in pain or upset and the "I can't never did anything," speech whenever I was about to give up. These seem to flow from my lips with the ease of authority and wisdom now, while I see my kids flinch every time......just as I used to. I can see them mentally telling themselves that they will never annoy their children with such absurdities. Meanwhile I can hear my mothers favorite mantra...."You just wait until you have kids of your own!" Was that a warning? A prediction....... or as many like to think, a tired and frustrated mothers curse? Whatever it was, I now know what she meant.

As a teen I always loved my mom but there were definitely times when we were not each others biggest fans. I thought she was behind the times, naive and often times just flat out ridiculous. What could a 40/50ish woman know in a modern world? She on the other hand knew that I was in fact naive, thought I knew more than I actually did and that I actually was the ridiculous one. For years we were oil and water because she knew what she was talking about and I didn't have a clue, so the words of wisdom that I continually heard were irritating. If only I had been smart enough to know that one day I would long to hear those words come from her lips, just one more time......

So bottom line, I like most parents have been cursed by my mother. In so many ways I see myself becoming her. I hear her words, have been told that I now have her mannerisms and I know it all must be true because when those words spring forth I see the all too familiar eye roll from my kids. Is this a good thing? I think so. I now understand where those words came from and the wisdom behind them....even if now my kids look at me as some socially underachieving dinosaur. I can smile at their frustration and irritation with the wisdom that is currently beyond their grasp. Why? Because now I hold the power of......... the mother's curse. (wink)


Anonymous said...

I love reading these "I heard my mother come out of my mouth today" stories. I have to laugh only because that will never happen with me. BUT my daughter calls me and tells me she does it....all the time. LOL!!!
I didn't know your mother very well but from what I know she was an amazing woman and you are so very lucky to "channel" her often. LOL!!

Anonymous said...

I can definitely relate to this one. I remember my mom "cursing" me too and now I do it to my kids. Great blog.