Controllable Chaos

Yesterday I did nothing. No.....literally.....I did nothing. Well....actually I watched old episodes of The Nanny....but other than that....nothing! It was peaceful and a much needed break. Today...I went to church, went to Wal-Mart....and then again did nothing. Well...I did take a much needed nap, but other than that....well you know.

I guess that was my reprieve before life began to hit me full force again. Maybe it was God's way of giving me the strength to handle yet another little glitch in Lisaland. Perhaps it worked.....as when this glitch hit me........my head did not explode, nor did I set my hair on fire and run into the street screaming. Maybe though...and this is probably a more likely scenario....I am just getting tired. Tired of dealing with that which should not have to be dealt with.

I have tried desperately (usually to no avail) to get my kids to understand that life is a tricky thing. There are so many things that happen that we simply have no control over. Some of those things are good, but all too often they are things which are trying, sometimes soul wrenching and many times.....things that test us both as parents and as humans. So with all the unexpected and uncontrollable that is thrown at us....WHY must they (my children) do things that cause "controllable" chaos?

The controllable chaos that I am referring to usually has to do with poor judgment and bad choices which end up causing my natural hair color to become gray and me to begin twitching uncontrollably. It also means that I usually have to end up questioning my parenting skills (which were already questionable at best to begin with) and then there is the whole "trust" issue that I have to deal with (mine not theirs!) At any rate.....we always end up having the same conversation that starts with the word...."WHY?"

I had such hopes for this new year. Well okay....maybe I wasn't naive enough to think that the whole year would go by without chaos, but I did believe we might make it through the first weekend without incident. Silly me!

I won't bore you with the details because 1) it was poor judgment and a bad choice all rolled into one and the child responsible would come out looking REALLY bad.....and 2) I have hashed and rehashed the situation this evening until I can't hash it again. Suffice it to say though....nothing remotely fun or entertaining will be happening in my house for quite sometime to come. It is times like this when I understand fully why my mother grounded me for life on a couple of occasions.

Well...truth be told....this incident too shall most likely pass and I am trying with all my heart to let go and let God. In fact I would have been perfectly happy to have allowed God to step in tonight and do the lecturing and the grounding.....but obviously He left that part up to me. So I did my best to handle it in away which would not require me to have to go to confession next week.

So now....all is quiet in Lisaland once again and my child is very happy that he was allowed to go to bed with all his parts in one piece. I do think he learned from the whole situation  and I was successfully able to handle it all without having an internal hemorrhage. I am sure the whole twitch thing will be gone soon and hopefully now.........we can keep controllable chaos at bay....for at least another day or two!