Again....the day is half over and I am just now getting my
blog on! I hate it when life trumps blogging....
but alas....sometimes that is just the way things go. I was asked yesterday by someone if I plan my blogs or if they are just spur of the moment. Answer?
I plan nothing! I have not one second in my life to plan the next. My blogs are
ALWAYS spur of the moment. Occasionally I will think I am going to say one thing in a blog and low and behold....something completely different comes out. I am usually more surprised than anyone else how my blogs turn out. In fact....sometimes when I blog really early of a morning and then go back and read my blog later in the day....I am completely shocked, 'cause I surely don't remember writing
that! Yeah....
Lisaland can be a very scary place at times!
So today we honor the men in our lives whom we call Dad, Daddy, Father, Pop, Papa and a whole strew of other names which translated.....all mean.....
where's my allowance? and
can I borrow the car? I have great ambivalence about this day because the man I call
dad has been an ambivalent character in my life from the beginning. While I know that my blogs have
"hinted" that life with my father has not always been easy and he is far from an
Ozzie Nelson or a
Cliff Huxtable.....he is still my dad and age, wisdom and hindsight tell me that although he may not have always done it right....he has always done the best he knew how. And honestly.....that is true of any parent I guess. Part of the reason I am late blogging is because we went to Dad's early today to enjoy a Father's Day breakfast with him. Looking at him today I was reminded, that even though I have always had a
"dad" I never had a
"daddy." I was never looked at by him as
special or
my being his world like my kids are to me. I was just one of his kids. Maybe that made me stronger....maybe not. Perhaps the emotion was not shown....but I can't say he never cared and he has been there if not emotionally then financially when the chips were down. But so much has lacked in our relationship and so much has left me feeling cheated in the dad department on more than one occasion. But then again....maybe he has felt a bit cheated on the daughter end of things too. And there are many stories there....best left for another day.
Not Father's Day. So what I say today is: I am honoring a man who became my father....not because he had to, but because he
chose to. He is a man who I truly believe has parented to the best of his ability and loves the only way he knows how. I am honoring a man who is a wonderful grandfather and who maybe never was my
daddy....but he has always been my
Dad. So on that note...I wish him and all fathers and grandfathers everywhere a very Happy Father's Day!
This Sunday is blissfully much quieter and much happier. No Richter scale anger, no arms slammed in car doors (although I did brave Walmart again) and no heads going through walls. It has been a really nice day. The kicker is.....drum roll please......
Z cut his hair! His idea,
his choice.....and boy does he look good. I nearly cried....he is barely recognizable as the same person. And best of all.....
he is blonde again! We will just call it a Father's Day
miracle! I am such a happy mama right now!
Tear...sniffle...sigh!
Today....since I do double duty most days as both
Mom and
Dad....I am going to enjoy the rest of my day. Z is downstairs cooking (
I love that he likes to cook! Thank you Tim for giving him those genes) and I am going to relax. Tomorrow starts a new week and believe it or not....my attitude is immensely better. I have no idea what changed it....maybe the haircut, but I was even less snarly before that happened. Maybe this will just be an exceptionally wonderful week.
I believe I will end this here.....as I have a date with
Lifetime and a glass of iced tea for the rest of the afternoon. Once again...I wish you all a Happy Father's Day and hope what is left of your Sunday is full of peace, happiness and love.
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