Happy Birthing Person's Day! What????

So I took a few days off from blogging, to relax, recuperate, and to decompress. During that time, we celebrated Birthing Persons Day. What????? We celebrated who????? I'm sorry but NO! Just NO!

Okay, today I might get a little triggering to some, so don't say you haven't been warned. 

If you have been avoiding social media or media of all kinds, then you may be scratching your head over the whole Birthing Persons Day comment. What essentially it is, is a way to change that old worn-out Mother's Day into a more inclusive holiday. In truth, it comes from those who are constantly trying to normalize numerous sexes. Its birth, if you will, comes from trans people (women becoming men specifically) who are having babies and saying that yes, men can now have babies. In their eyes, mother is no longer an inclusive term, so like everything else that is currently getting canceled, apparently the word mother should also be canceled, and we should simply ignore the fact that regardless of what you identify as only a biological woman can have a baby.

It should also come as no shock that the NARAL (National Abortion Rights Action League), is completely on board with this, claiming it is a much more inclusive, although incorrect term. In my humble opinion, abortion rights activists have always had the agenda to make human life expendable if it was not viewed as convenient, therefore it dehumanizes the unborn. So what is the next step? Let's also dehumanize or at the very least dismiss the importance of the mother too. Instead of viewing motherhood as something special and the ability to grow a human inside you as miraculous, let's instead make mother a canceled word and make pregnancy and childbirth something anyone can do! But can just anyone do this?

Not surprisingly, some on the left have already jumped on board with this and have even started referring to themselves as "birthing persons." For real???? Where are the feminists who usually throw major fits about this kind of thing? Why is there not marching in the streets and a demand for the right to be called "mother" and a stand being taken that "Mother's Day" should be upheld? Instead, we hear.....crickets. 

Now, this in my opinion is not about trans people per se. I do not care what sex you want to be and I don't care what you want your pronouns to be. If you want to be called, "he, she, they, here, there," I don't care. That is your business. I will even go so far as to say, if YOU want to be called a jelly bean, I will call you a jelly bean, but if we are erring on the side of science, then there are only two biological sexes, male and female, and only one of those biological sexes can actually carry a baby in their womb and little hint....it is not the biological male. 

I am a biological woman. I am called mom, mommy, mama, mother, ma'am, and after some read this, probably some other names that won't sound so pretty, but the fact is, I have earned all of those names. I have carried children inside me from conception to birth and I have been a mom to those kids since they were conceived. I have gone through all of the biological womanly things from starting my period to menopause, and while some of that has literally sucked, I have biologically been through it all. I have also been a single mom for the last 20 years, raising kids on my own and often times dealing with the fallout of being a single mother in the world. Because of all of this, I have earned a day where I eat free, get a gift or two, and where I remind each of my children just how long my labor was with them. Why? Because I have done what no biological male can. I provided the egg, which became the human that grew inside me for nine months, and then I suffered through the labor that no man was created to suffer through. 

I have earned Mother's Day, and I will be damned if I give into a society that wants to simply dismiss my role in creating human life and make it and me ordinary. I am not ordinary! I am a woman and more importantly......I AM A MOTHER! So if as a woman, you think so little of yourself and your sisters, as to have the greatest role you were ever given on this planet be classified as something any mere"person" can do, then you go for it, but as for me and mine, we will celebrate Mother's Day at my house and you can count on that. 

Until next time....be sunny, be happy and give your mom a hug.....she has earned it! 

 

Happy Mother's Day

Today we remember the person that brought us into this world. Fed us! Clothed us! And the one who took care of and nurtured us. She was our disciplinarian and our biggest cheerleader. She is also the one we spent years telling  "In a minute," "Do I have to?", and  "He/She did it!" She is the one we gave gray hair to, caused to spend many sleepless nights over our health and our bad choices (or maybe that was just my mom), and the one we ran to with our knee scrapes and heart breaks. Yes....today is the day we celebrate MOM!

At my age and in my generation....we are long past the age of thinking our mothers were sadly misinformed about the world and simply had no idea of what they were talking about. We are now fully aware of just how wise she was and what a keen sense of the world she really had. It was us in our faux wisdom that were sadly misinformed and had no clear understanding of what the world was about.

Also at my age....sadly many of my friends have begun to lose their mothers and I know quite well (this will be my 9th Mothers Day without mine) that there isn't a one of us that wouldn't give just about anything to hear our mom's words of wisdom just one more time; to hug them just one more time; or to be able to tell them "I love you," just one more time.

For those of you who still have your mom's....today is the day to forget that she doesn't like your boyfriend, that she tries to tell you how to raise your kids, or that she is spending your inheritance on a cruise around the world. Today is the day however.....to remember that she has always been there for you, that she loves you beyond words, and that she simply is not going to be around forever. So cherish her and never forget that when she is gone....Mothers Day will never be the same.

So to all my family and friends.....I wish you all a very Happy Mother's Day and I leave you with this video my son Z made of his grandmother.....my mother......Mary Jane Dougherty Jacques.

Post Mother's Day Meanderings

So...at first glance....my Mother's Day sucked!!!! It was a day I would wish on no one filled with cleaning up backed up sewage off my basement floor. And if your wondering....the smell was staggering. Mix that smell with straight bleach and you have the feeling your nostrils are being burnt by chlorinated poo!!! Needless to say, by the time I had Sunday/Mother's Day dinner ready, none of us found food any too appetizing.
I really was feeling sorry for myself (a spot I only rarely vacation at) but felt pretty justified in yesterday. With the sewage and a few other not as big but just as unsettling things happening, I was preparing myself for a real pity party. Then some friends from facebook whether knowingly or unknowingly set me real straight, real fast.
First of all, at the same time I was going through my little fiasco...my aunt was preparing for a mastectomy (wish I was there), a cousin of mines little grandson was found to have a tumor on his brain stem and several others on his spine, and another friend of mine has found a lump in her breast and is waiting to find out if it is cancer or not. So in the big scheme of things....cleaning up a little sewage really isn't a big deal.
I then had a fb friend tell me that motherhood is not perfect, so why should a day honoring mother's be perfect? Motherhood is messy, stressful, sometimes heart wrenching, and always rewarding....but NEVER perfect. So why wouldn't Mother's Day reflect motherhood? And at the end of the day, my kids were there, we all pitched in and got the place cleaned up, everyone was happy (as happy as you can be cleaning up poo that is), we were healthy and I really had no major complaints.
So when I finally hit my pillow last night, I was exhausted, but no longer did I feel the least bit sorry for myself. Instead...I felt very blessed. My basement was clean (which it needed anyway) and for the most part....in the big scheme of things...all was right in my world. So....as Mother's Day go....mine really wasn't all that bad.

Things My Mother Taught Me

This was a piece I wrote in memory of my mom a while back. I know it has been read by many of you before....but try as I might...I have not been able to come up with words that say how my heart feels about my mother...better than this. So on this...my 7th Mother's Day without her....I share this once again.

She was beautiful in every way and she was wise...far wiser than she was ever given credit for. She always marched to her own beat and could be your best friend or your worst enemy....it just depended which side of her you were on. She was a flawed human just like the rest of us....but somehow those flaws made her more vulnerable, more approachable, more Mom. She was a force to be reckoned with and she more than once brought fear into the hearts of my friends....but most ended up loving her and those that didn't....they still had a healthy respect.

My mother taught me many things and today...on Mother's Day....I would like to share some memories and lessons from a woman gone too soon.

She taught me that children are a gift and no matter what....we must always love them. I learned this from personal experience as she always considered me a gift and loved me through good and bad.....and sometimes I was very bad.

She taught me that we are not owed anything in this life and to expect this will only cause us heartache and pain. It is when we work for things we are truly rewarded. This has proven to be true so many times in my life.

Her favorite saying no matter what horrid thing happened to us was...."offer it up." Translation: God offered up His only son for our sins....so we can offer up our pain and suffering to Him. If I skinned my knee....she would kiss it, bandage it, and then tell me to "offer it up." If I failed a test and was upset about it she would say...."offer it up." Even when I was older and I was hurt by things that a kiss and bandage would no longer fix....she would listen and then tell me...."offer it up." Mom always felt that if you must suffer (and we all must) that if you offered it up....your pain would not be in vain. Guess what my children now get to hear????

Mom taught me that you are never closer to God or your own thougths than when you work in the garden. There is a peace and serenity there that can't be matched anywhere else. That is unless you run into a copperhead snake....but that is a story for another time.

She taught me that I would never truly be able to love someone else if I couldn't love myself. If you can't love yourself....then how do you expect anyone else to love you? It took me a lot of years and an awful relationship...but finally I learned to love me....and everything else fell into place.

Mom taught me that faith is essential in life and that prayer moves mountains. I was taught from a very early age to pray not on my terms but on Gods. All prayers are answered....just not always in our time or our way. My little David is living proof.

I learned from Mom that if one is good....then five are better. This may not have been one of her better life lessons...but if sure has been a fun one....especially where shoes are concerned. I mean really can you have too many shoes? Mom had 150 pair when she died....and many still live on in my closet today. Thanks Mom. :)

Finally and more importantly....Mom taught me how to die. Mom had five primary cancers before she died, she went through the loss of a lung, 3 other surgeries, and both radiation and chemo and never once did I hear her complain. Every time anyone would ask how she was doing she would always say, "if it doesn't get any worse than this....then I'm doing pretty good." You can bet Mom was doing a lot of "offering up." She never lost faith that whatever happened next was "suppose" to happen and she used every second of her life to enjoy what time she could. And finally......when the end came....she showed us that she had lived life on her terms and that she would die on her terms. She left this world with more class and dignity than anyone I have ever known.

Mom taught me that life is for the living. Death is inevitable but not to be dwelled on. She made sure that she taught me to let go of the sadness and to only hold on to the good....to the lifetime of memories.....and so Mom...that is what I've done. Happy Mother's Day.