The Art of Being Nice.... as a Facebook Admin

 

You know, we hear a lot about being kind and I think that any more kindness is huge, especially after everything we have all been through in the last few years. What we don't talk much about, however, is just being plain old nice. 

Yes, there is a difference between being kind and being nice. When you are kind, it usually has to do with specifics, but being nice should be a day-by-day, minute-by-minute thing. An example is social media. From time to time I see people reach out and be kind, especially when a crisis of some sort has occurred, but what I don't seem to see a lot of, is people just being nice on the regular.  

I am an admin on quite a few Facebook pages with varying themes and issues. Two of the pages I admin are local pages for my hometown. Now one of those pages runs like a dream. In fact, in all the years I have admined it, I can count on one hand with fingers left over, the times anyone has gotten out of line or been rude on that page. On the other hand, the other local page is often a free-for-all of adults trying to outdo themselves with rudeness, hatefulness, and downright disrespect. Literally, someone can say "the sky is blue," and you will have dozens of comments arguing and contradicting over what color "they" think the sky truly is. Add in a twenty-something kid or two who are bored and like to troll for his/her own amusement, and we have had some pretty interesting moments in this group. It has been going on for years. 

Now don't get me wrong, I am not complaining, because I dearly love this group and it can be downright hilarious at times watching fully grown adults (no kids are allowed for obvious reasons) name call each other, over talk each other, and finally resort to all kinds of playground nouns that at times would make a sailor blush. In the beginning, I used to try to have some rules which for the most part, toned the behaviors down, but about two years ago, I got tired of trying to tell adults how to behave properly. I mean goodness knows, if their mama's and daddies couldn't teach them how to behave, then common sense said, my rules didn't stand a chance. 

The group page has somewhere close to 5000 people, and since we are a small town and I have lived here for well over 40 years, I either know everyone on the page personally or at the very least, through their longtime interaction in the group and trust me, this group has a little bit over every kind of human  residing in its little microcosm. Over the years, I have had some form of interaction with almost everyone in the group, and saying this, there is absolutely not one person that I can honestly say, I don't like. This brings me to the purpose of this blog. 

Last night in said group, there was a bit of a dust-up, funny enough, started by me, in a truly innocent way, that ended up hitting one of the group members wrong and then by extension, one of her friends. Before it was all said and done though, I tried to put myself in the offended person's shoes, owned my part which I was still a little foggy on, apologized, and then moved on. Of course, this is never the end of anything in this group. For the next hour or so, I had numerous people messaging me and letting me know how they felt about the whole thing. Turns out, no one else seemed to feel that I posted anything rude, which eased my mind a bit, but if one perceived it as rude, then I as admin did what I needed to calm the waters and promote momentary peace.  At any rate, it was a long night and this morning I found a funny meme with a smiling face mask, being pulled off the exhausted face of Jane Jetson (don't ask, just look her up), with the caption, Me after a long day of pretending to like people. My own comment was "I really do like all of you (most days)," with a sarcastically smiling emoji. It was a joke of course and most took it the way it was intended, but there is always one whose perception is just a little bit different........

One person, of course, took it as me being two-faced I guess and was not afraid to bring that to my attention. I was on the treadmill at the gym when I read it, and I laughed so hard I nearly fell off the dang thing and caused several to look and see if the wheezing I was doing was cause for alarm. It never ceases to amaze me what people can read into things, but then again, that's what makes us all unique I guess. 

One thing for sure about being the admin of a lively, outspoken group is that you must have extremely thick skin. Blessedly I do, thanks to my upbringing and my dad's "nicknames." I am pretty dang hard to upset, offend or make mad, but it is not because some in this group have not tried. Let's just say that the whole me liking everyone in the group is not always reciprocated.....and you know what? That is perfectly okay.  

What others think of me is seldom an issue. What God might think of me, what my family thinks of me (most of them anyway), and what I think of me, are all I worry about. That being said though, if someone is so angry at me or my words that they come after me, then I usually try to dig a little deeper and find out why. No, not because I want them to like me, but because most people are angry and hateful because they don't feel listened to or respected and thus they lash out. While lashing out, they give no real details other than to tell me I am "rude", "hateful" or some other equally sweet adjective. So then I start asking them what they think about the subject at hand, or maybe explain my own words a little more carefully. This lets them know that I actually care about what they think and feel and whether they like me or not,  I really do care what they think about the subject at hand. I believe this is called being nice and I have taken crap for that too. 

When I talk to people in everyday life, whether it is social media or face to face, I always try to communicate in the same way that I myself would wish to be communicated with. I try never to be aggressive and always to be respectful because, in my experience, people tend to shut down and quit listening after the first f-you. I also try to listen before I speak, because little fun fact, my opinion is not always right and if I listen before I start running my mouth, then I might just save myself from embarrassment and another public apology. This, however, does not always mean that when I do speak that I will agree with them, and I will likely tell them that, but I try hard to do it in a way where they can hear me and understand that I simply feel differently. Oh, and just because I don't agree with someone, doesn't mean I don't like them. Liking someone and agreeing with them are not mutually exclusive. I find that many adults have not quite grasped that concept yet. 

There are also cases, where I speak my mind, maybe even bluntly, with no intended disrespect involved. Just because others don't agree, doesn't mean I will change my stance to appease them, but it also doesn't mean I will insult or belittle them for feeling differently. 

The hardest thing though is when I post something and someone reads something insulting or "rude" into the post that was never intended. It would be nice to think that those in the group have known me long enough to know that rude and hateful just aren't my thing, but that is never a given. It then does me no good to say, "I didn't intend to be rude" because let's face it, perception is all that matters. It then becomes a bit of a tightrope to navigate the waters between the perceived and the intended. It usually always ends up with me apologizing for their perception. 

Now don't get me wrong. I am no saint and there have definitely been times that my fingers have typed faster and more aggressively than my brain. For the most part, though, I realized a long time ago, that if you want to be talked to with respect, then you show respect. You also don't have to like everyone you come in contact with, but why be hateful just because someone else is not your cup of tea? Because of this, I try to put myself in other's shoes and maybe see things from their point of view, even if I don't agree with them. I will never name-call, or insult and I try to speak only after I have listened. I do all of this because if I want to see change, then I have to be the change. Some days I am better at it than others. 

As for my beloved group. Yes, I say beloved, because, to me, they truly are. The group has quiet ones that seldom post but always read, cranky oldsters, twenty-somethings who think that their trolling is absolutely the funniest thing, gossips, gripers, and nosey old souls who simply show up for the drama. Each and every one of them has made me smile at one time or another, and all of them are good-hearted and generous, even if their group posts don't always indicate it. The quiet ones will always just show up when they know they are needed, the cranky oldsters will give you real-world advice, the twenty-something trolls will mow your yard, pull your car out of a ditch or help bail water in a flood. The gossips will always make sure that if someone is in need, then everyone knows and shows up to help, the gripers will gripe until something gets done, and the nosey old souls will make sure that we are all safe. I find something wonderful about each of them and they are why I love being the admin to the group. 

I guess what I am trying to say is, it is possible to be a Facebook admin and be nice. It is also possible to post in general on Facebook and be nice. It is possible to disagree with someone and be nice and it is quite possible to just be a nice human being on the regular. 

May you all have a wonderful weekend and a very Happy Easter. Until next time.......

Racism: My Truth

I did a thing last week. I deactivated my facebook account. I was sick of the sickness of hate and fear being spread across social media and I personally didn't want to see it anymore. It was literally affecting my mental status and trickling down into my daily life. I had to do something to change myself as it was obvious I have no control over anyone else.

Of course being able to stay deactivated is not as easy as it sounds, as I am an administrator for several facebook groups, so I reactivated, but I hid my fb app button so that it was not automatically the first button I hit when I got on my computer or my phone and I only go on fb when my notifications tell me that someone has specifically tried to message me or tagged me. It has worked beautifully. It has also given me some much needed time to think without social media and the news media trying to influence my thoughts. It has given me some much needed peace too, as well as a chance to process who I am in this world and how I or if I fit into all the unrest. The following is my feelings, beliefs....my truth if you will on racism in 2020.

I have never owned slaves in my lifetime. While I may have family members in my family tree who have, I doubt it. My family was mainly white republicans who fought for the north against slavery. Those of my family who were from the south were so poor that they themselves were often times hired out as help. And....my family underwent their share of discrimination and racism as they were poor Irish Catholics who came to this country by ship and who were treated as if they were less than animals. This was another less than glorious time in our countries history, but you actually hear little about it.

The facts of my life are this. If I see someone who is hurt or in danger, skin color makes no difference. I help. If I am standing in line in the supermarket and the person in front of me does not have the money to cover their groceries, skin color makes no difference. I help. Skin color has never once in my life affected how I treated another human being and I can't see that ever changing. To me, character, soul and what is on the inside matter. Color is external and means very little to me.

My first best friend in first grade was a little girl named Lisa. She was one of the first in the desegregation process to be bussed. She was a beautiful little black girl whose hair was always done in braids. Perhaps I was drawn to her because she was different. Most of us feel different at one time or another and at 6 years old, it is hard to be in a new school all the way across town with kids who are white and you are black. I remember thinking that I didn't want her to be scared or alone, two things I was sure that I would have felt had the shoe been on the other foot. We hit it off and were fast friends in the classroom and on the playground. Color didn't matter, except for the fact that she used to say that she was a chocolate ice cream cone and I was a vanilla ice cream cone. We were different colors but we were both still ice cream.

While I can't speak to life during the desegregation process in other parts of the country, in little Wichita, KS, my experience and what I saw were much different I am sure, than what was going on in more urban parts of the country. Yes, Wichita had it's place in helping to change racism but when it came to bussing, both sides had a tough time dealing. Before bussing took place in Wichita, there were black neighborhoods and white neighborhoods and each had schools, most of the time within walking distance in those neighborhoods. In an era where many homes had either no cars or only one car, having your child within walking distance was almost a necessity. When bussing began though, both white and black families were put on a lottery and during the summer, if your number came up, your family/kids would be bussed across town to a different school come fall. While this was a wonderful thing in the respect of desegregation, it was tough for families with kids who had to be on a bus at 6 a.m. and often didn't make it home until after 5 p.m. Those were long days for little ones and although equality was what was wanted and needed, starting out, it was throwing kids into completely different surroundings, different culture and with different people of a different color. Those were not easy times, even for 6 year olds who had no idea what racism was and why they couldn't stay in their own neighborhoods and go to their own school with friends they had known forever.

Even though we lived in Kansas in the 1960's, there was still a pretty decent amount of unrest. My mom and Lisa's mom met at a school open house. Being little girls who wanted to play together and not just at school, I still remember our mothers trying to figure out a way for us to make it happen. After much discussion, it came down to the fact that Lisa's mom said at the current time it probably wasn't safe for a little white girl to be playing in their neighborhood, and she didn't feel comfortable with Lisa coming to my house as it was an all white neighborhood. Neither mom was upset, it was just the times we lived in. Only Lisa and I were upset and being six, neither of us understood that our color was the reason we couldn't play together.

The next year my family moved and from my second grade year until my seventh grade year, I was in several different schools. I went from an all white Catholic school, to a school in New Mexico with a variety of kids of colors and races as we lived right off an Air Force Base. Then I moved to a small oil town back in Kansas where the kids were actually about a half black and half white. I was pretty proficient at making friends wherever I went and my friendships were never based on color. They were always based on whoever seemed to take a liking to you for whatever reason.

When I moved to the current town I live in back in the 1970's, it was predominantly white. I believe there was only one black family in the town and I really didn't know them because their kids weren't around my age. I think this was the first time I ever realized what racism was though. I worked in a grocery store as a checkout person and the store management was mostly older people. Now I was taught to respect people (especially my elders) regardless of what I thought. I also knew that respecting them, didn't always mean agreeing with them. The first time I was working when the black family came in, it was just the man and his wife. When they went up and down the aisles to shop, it was as if people just avoided the aisles they were on. Then when it was time to check them out, no checker could be found. At that point, I was still just a sack girl and had not been trained to check yet. I remember trying to call a checker to the front and being so embarrassed that none were coming. Eventually, I went and dragged one out of the break room and made it uncomfortable enough that she had to check them out. She was about 50 and very rude and cold to them. I carried out their groceries and apologized to them. They were so kind. From the moment I became a checker, I made sure to be up at the front if they came in and they never had to wait to be checked out. My manager never said anything to me, although I know he watched me check them out, several times. I remember talking to my mother about this and her saying, "You respect that you have a job. You can't change your managers but you can be the best person and best employee you can be. Make that family feel respected when they come in, even if it's by no one but you." So I did.

It wasn't until I was an adult and worked at a hospital that I peered into the world we lived in yet again. At the hospital I worked with all kinds of people who were all colors and all ethnicities. One girl that I worked with, I really liked. She was very smart and knew her job well and she was the "go to" person for any questions. She was patient, kind and knowledgeable. She was also black. She was about my age at the time which was early 20's and she had developed a blood clot in her leg. I remember it being a very scary situation and all of us who worked with her were concerned. The clot eventually dissolved but during the time, she continued to try and work as much as possible. Then she found out she was pregnant. She was so excited and we were so excited for her. We spent weeks planning gifts for the baby shower we knew her mom was going to have for her. When the party day arrived, it was on a hot Saturday in the middle of the summer. One by one we all showed up to her mother's house which happened to be in a black neighborhood. The party was outdoors and started in the afternoon. It was a big affair with all of her family and local friends there. The only whites there were us 10 or so coworkers. I really thought nothing of it and had a wonderful time. Everyone was so nice and so kind and she had a such a good time celebrating the impending birth of her child. As the afternoon began to turn into evening and people began to leave, I started helping to clean up. I was one of the few left and the only white girl left. When her mother realized I was still there, she literally grabbed my purse and walked me quickly to my car. She was very kind but told me that I had to leave immediately and to keep my windows rolled up and to not stop for anyone no matter what. I had no idea why but I did as I was told. The next Monday at work, I asked my friend why her mother had acted that way. I thought perhaps I had done something wrong. No. She explained that whites in a black neighborhood after dark were safe for no one. She didn't want me to risk getting hurt. I truly had no idea that it was even a possibility.

Since that time, I have known blacks of all income levels, religions, skin variations, political affiliations and beliefs. I have known some of the nicest, kindest blacks and I have known blacks that were liars, thieves and wished me harm. The contrast to that is that I have also known whites of all income levels, religions, skin variations, political affiliations and beliefs. I have known some of the nicest, kindest whites and I have known whites that were liars, thieves and wished me harm.

I am not black and therefore I cannot know what it feels like to be black. I don't know what struggles they have personally gone through and I don't know their anger and frustration. What I do know is that I have never been unkind to anyone because of the color of their skin. I have never thought less of or treated someone with malice, hate or cruelty because they were black, brown or any other color. I would help any human of any color if I saw they needed it and I can sure tell you that I wouldn't stand back and take video if I thought another human being was in trouble or dying.

I will not apologize for being white and I will not feel bad for being who I am as a person. I am just as God made me. I cannot change those who hate for the sake of hating or those who let color decide a persons worth. I cannot change the past, nor the actions of those in the past. I cannot change the bad in people of all colors and I can't make people hear my words. All I can do is continue to be me. To make sure that I am the best person I can be and to teach the same to my kids and grand kids. I can just keep trying to do the next right thing.

The sins of the past cannot be atoned for by those who had no hand in them. Hate will not be quelled with more hate. Ignorance and fear are the most infectious diseases out there and as long as they are allowed to fester, we will continue to create more of each. Until we come together as human beings and quit allowing ourselves to be divided, we will all remain losers in the fight for equality and respect. You can't allow your anger to rule you, regardless of how justified you feel it is, for anger never solved anything but can destroy everything.

All races/skin colors/ethnicities should be proud of who they are. Finding pride in yourself and who you are, does not discount it in others. I am proud of who I am as a white person, a woman, a mother, a grandmother and a human being. I have never done anything to disrespect anyone and I think it is time that we all start seeing and celebrating the pride in who we are as individuals.

My truth may not be your truth, but it does not make it invalid nor wrong. I pray everyday for the country and all the humans (regardless of color) who live here. Peace and the ability to equally live side by side are the goals, but until then, I pray we all just find some common ground and a place to begin in the here and now. 

The Monster That Mark (Zuckerberg) Created

Many of you are too young to remember the birth of social media. It actually started with the likes of MySpace. It was pretty tame as there really wasn't a lot you could do with it, other than talk about yourself and add your favorite music. It wasn't a huge thing at first because not everyone had a home computer or the patience to hook up to the internet through AOL or any of the other internet land line hook ups. If anyone happened to be using the phone or in fact breathing in another room, it would take forever to access the internet and once you were connected, if said person in the other room picked up the phone receiver and/or breathed, you could easily be knocked off the internet and have to go through the pain staking process of reconnecting yet again. 

As the internet and the number of internet users have quadrupaplied over the years, social media has changed immensely. Even when I first joined Facebook, it was a much different animal than today and I was even fairly late to the game when it came to Mark Zuckerberg's newly created baby. 

In it's infancy, Facebook was kind of cool. Originally it was for college age kids to chat up, meet up and hook up via the internet. It was kind of a closed knit group trying to stay relevant and hip in the ever changing world of technology. Soon though, others were stretching the original Zuckerberg appointed boundaries and before the Z-man could say "billion dollar technology" Facebook had kicked MySpace to the curb and people of all ages from 9 to 90 were getting in on the this new form of social media. 

When I joined it was in 2009. Back then it was still a cool little place to be where you ran into family and long lost friends. At that time, they did not make it easy for you to find people though and if you spent too much time searching for people, they would lock your search privileges out. I guess back then, peoples privacy actually meant something to them. You also had to be extremely careful back then about what you said on this social media platform, as anything remotely political, hateful or too negative could get you put in a "time out" where you couldn't post for several days up to and/or including.....getting kicked off permanently. It also wasn't that easy to come back in with a new "fake" profile as they did their best to track IP addresses and locations. 

In the last decade, Facebook has transformed from this homey feeling little social group with straight across the board rules, to one of the largest social media entities in the world. The Facebook of 2019, allows people not only to search people at will, but also to stalk, harass and bully. Foul language, hate speech, threats and negative and hate filled posts now seem to be the bread and butter of the empire that Zuckerberg created. What is truly tragic though, is that this once cool little piece of technology that put us in touch with Aunt Gladys in Tuscon and our long lost boy friend in Poughkeepsie, has had a rather negative effect on society in general. 

I do honestly believe that in its inception, Facebook was created to be no more innocuous than an internet meeting spot where kids across the country could meet up and chat. They could exchange ideas and it would bring this big world in a little closer. I don't think than in his wildest dreams that Zuckerberg and his crew could have ever imagined how Facebook would take off or how it would change how we look at social media and how its very presence could literally change the actions and attitudes of literally the world. 

In the last few years, Facebook has become a breeding ground for political and religious upheaval. It has become the place where the main stream media has learned to control and manipulate the minds and reactions of the masses and it has become the place where crime is committed daily. Through Facebook, people have been stalked, cat fished, bullied and threatened. Pornography and pedophilia run rampant and many, many deaths and suicides can have their roots traced back to Facebook posts. 

In my opinion though, one of the worst things that Facebook has brought out in society, is the way people have started treating each other. Behind the computer screen, people who don't have the self confidence to be bold in the real world, take out all of their frustration and anger on social media. People use it as a sounding board for attention seeking behavior and when others "like" their negative and abusive posts or comment on them, it tends to unleash truly evil and hateful tenancies in them. 

Facebook has taught us that the only opinion that counts is ours and if someone disagrees, we can throw a tantrum and become hateful and threatening. It has taught us that we should be respected but we don't have to show respect to others. It has taught us that we can put our family and friends on blast when we are angry at them and that we can literally ruin peoples families, careers and lives by posting lies, photo's and innuendos. In other words, Facebook and social media have taught us to be the worst versions of ourselves with no remorse or willingness to accept the consequences of our actions. 

Again, I don't think this was ever the desired outcome when Facebook was created. I think though, that when money and billions and billions of people factored in, this train went off the rails pretty quickly and there was simply no way to pull it back on track. 

Recently I have been mulling over my love/hate relationship with Facebook and social media in general. I still love the ability to talk to people I can't see daily and the making of new friends. I like keeping up with family and the ability to help my community with group pages. I however, am becoming more and more disillusioned with the negativity that social media seems to unleash, especially in people that I know before social media weren't like this. I don't like the pages designed for nothing more than bringing out the hate and negativity in people and the constant barrage of fake news thrown at the masses in the hopes of causing even more unrest and yes....even violent behavior. 

Honestly, my presence on Facebook (the only social media I really use), is getting smaller and smaller. I am trying in my own personal life to keep myself peaceful and positive and just opening up Facebook can often get my anxiety going when there is little positivity or kindness on it  and yet so much negativity and hate. I am taking baby steps in my life and making small changes here and there and if Facebook continues to be the mecca of diseased minds and hateful hearts, then at some point, I may have to put this particular social media in my rear view mirror. 

Mark my boy, and all who run the Facebook machine, if money and the power of ruling the masses hasn't already eaten your soul, now might be a great time to reevaluate the monster you have created and change a few things. I am afraid if you don't, that we may be seeing the last few shreds of mans humanity falling away and what will be left, I don't think any of us wants to see. 

Until next time..........

Sarah Palin, Hillary Clinton and Spongebob

You know....it is amazing when you spend time in the ER with a sick child..... just what you will read, watch or think about in the time it takes you to get called back to be seen....right up until the time you actually get to leave. Last night, while at the ER, I watched Spongebob the Movie until I felt brain cells oozing out my ears and I read every pamphlet available from the treatment of Hepatitis C to Polio....Making a Comeback. Finally....a Child Life  staff person realized that I needed something more to do than trying to keep one child from escaping in his wheelchair and watching the other one flip flop on his ER bed in pain....so she kindly brought me some fairly current, current event news magazines. Now in situations where you are already distracted by sick children....usually magazines full of celebrity gossip and nice big pictures of fashion faux pas are what you need to kill the time and avoid the reality of your situation. But apparently....those types of magazines were no where to be found....so I got magazines with in depth articles on real world subjects with nary a celebrity divorce, arrest or drunken outburst to be had. Lucky me. But being that it was after midnight and it was either this or Spongebob....I began to read.
As I leafed through the pictureless articles of dry facts and depressing possibilities, one magazine had an article that caught my eye. Why? I am not sure. We will chalk it up to exhaustion and the need to read something besides another article about global warming, PETA, or the oil spill. This article was about Hillary Clinton. Now let me say up front....I am not a fan of her politics NOR was I a fan of her husband, but this article was interesting. It talked about a young Hillary and the lawyer Hillary, the First Lady Hillary, the Senator Hillary, the Secretary of State Hillary and finally.....the mother Hillary preparing for her daughter Chelsea's wedding. It humanized her and made her not just the public figure that often appears hard nosed, out spoken and somewhat shrill (my description...not the articles), but it softened her and gave a glimpse into "the woman", wife and mother that she is. As I finished the article....it left me seeing her not just for her political views....but also a human being...a flesh and blood woman.....not so unlike myself.
Still waiting on blood work and needing more distraction.....I continued on, searching for more to read. After finishing flipping through that particular publication I was convinced I had read the only truly readable article in it.....so I moved onto another equally stimulating piece of media. Again....articles so dry that they rivaled the Sahara jumped out at me.....and then low and behold....an article about ex-Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin. Now this woman....I have never really been sure of. While her politics "appear" to be more in line with mine....I have just never really been sure of the woman behind the image....so away I read. This article too was fairly in depth talking about her time as governor, her love and devotion to the state of Alaska, her run for vice president, her possible run for the presidency and her life as wife, mother and grandmother.  Again....a very humanizing article....and very much like the article I had just finished on Clinton. In fact, so much like it that I had to check the bylines to see if they were both written by the same person. They were not. The articles however.....did get me to thinking.
Here I was in the ER and I was thinking about Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin. It must have been my mind rebelling against the little yellow sponge on tv or perhaps I was just....THAT.....tired. At any rate....I came to some conclusions about these women....and women in general.....and sadly....us women in general didn't come out looking so good.
After immersing myself in these two different articles I realized that at first glance Clinton and Palin appear to be polar opposites. But on a deeper look.... these women are more alike than most of us ever dreamed possible. Don't believe me? Well let us look at the facts: both grew up in conservative house holds, both married, raised families, have held political offices, are strong out spoken women and both have their eye on the White House. While the political roads that they have taken have been quite different.....they both have the same goal.....to be the first woman president of the United States of America. While the list of similarities goes on and on....these are the high points.....and the biggest similarity of all is......these two women have fought and won battles and achieved fairly lofty goals in an arena dominated in the past by men. If you really stand back and look at the big picture of each one of these women.....you don't have to like their politics.....but you really must admire them both for being strong enough, and not afraid to speak up and speak out in a career path where women have historically taken a back seat.
This brings me to women in general. I find myself often disappointed by my own gender. Yes...men often make degrading, unkind, and often unfounded remarks about these two women. Both women have been berated and humiliated by less than flattering articles and photos, and the butt of many a joke on late night television. Often this kind of behavior comes from the male of our species and is not unexpected.....after all.....these women are touching a deep seated nerve in men that often they aren't even aware of. It is a primal desire in them to keep the status quo and keep women "behind" the "successful" man. It somehow messes with their male ego and inner balance to have a woman leading the charge.....or the country. However...I expect more of women!
Facebook is a pretty good barometer of where people stand on most subjects and what I see from women is often astounding. More than once I have been disappointed to see women degrading other women, viscously taking jabs with nasty remarks and many times.....going after the very women who are in their own way.....carving out the future for a whole new generation of our gender. While I love my women friends, I cringe to the point of pure frustration when I see women I know personally, so totally disregarding the fact that love or hate Palin and Clinton.....we really should respect these courageous....yes I said courageous women for not only fighting for their place in history despite all the nastiness, disrespect and down right personal floggings they have had to and still have to endure every time they open their mouths....but also remember that they are showing young women that if you hold tight to your convictions, aren't afraid to speak out, work hard and fight....that they too can achieve any goal they choose. Unfortunately though....we women of the general population are teaching young women a very different lesson. We are showing them through our very disrespect and hateful cattiness that other women will not support you. Other women will not respect you as a person if they disagree with your politics, religion, family life, sexual orientation....etc. even if you are working to do something ground breaking, amazing, or paving the way for other women. I really find it sad and a scenario where most of us women come out looking pretty darn bitchy. We want to move ahead, conquer, be whatever we want to be with no ceiling to stop us.....and yet we have nothing but hatefulness and negativity for those doing just that. We are sending out a mixed message to future women that we want them to succeed....but if at any point we disagree with them on their road to success.....we will refuse to support them....and more over.....will bombard them viciously with twisted truths and down right lies with the hopes of degrading and humiliating them. In other words.....we evolved 21st century women are creating a story....in which most of us don't come out looking very good in the end.
But alas....this is just one woman's opinion. One woman who is very tired, has sick kids and who finds Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton just a little more enlightening than Spongebob. But then again.....what do I know?