That's Right....I'm Getting Soapboxy Today

So I am pulling out the soapbox today. You might want to get a cup of coffee and get comfy or just scroll on by, depending on how you feel about me when I am soapboxy. 

<soapbox on>

Let me start by being direct and to the point. If you are someone who has a bad attitude, can't hold your tongue, and feels that it is your right to literally abuse others with your opinion, then may I suggest, you stay home and stay off social media?! There! I said it!

I am not sure when we as a society decided that it was perfectly okay to be rude to a sales clerk because she isn't checking people out as fast as you would like, or that throwing a tantrum because your fast-food place is out of chicken nuggets was your best move, but I am here to tell you.....Knock that shit off! Also, don't go after me about your right to free speech because ten to one, as you are telling the server that she is a waste of space for not having your menu item (like she controls that stuff), if she fires back at you with her own "free speech," you are going to cry foul, because she had the audacity to tell you that you were wrong and put you in your place. See the hypocrisy here? You can't stand behind free speech for yourself if you can't handle the same from others. 

I have been seeing so much of this lately and quite frankly, I am really sick of it as I am sure others are too. So how do we stop it? We quit making excuses for and accepting the unacceptable. There is no excuse for people to treat each other with disrespect and there is a huge difference between standing up for yourself, and simply being an ass because life isn't going your way. 

If you are on social media, and you watch videos posted by others, you will literally see dozens of videos, where "Karen's" and "Kens" attack other people for the dumbest things. Yesterday, I watched one where a lawyer from a prestigious law firm, was in some kind of a mini-mart and she saw a woman that with her olive skin, dark eyes, and hair could have been any race or culture, but this Karen decided that she was of Mexican descent and therefore shouldn't be served in this mini-mart. Why? Who the heck knows. Probably because she was just an unhappy, truly racist human being. 

This Karen went so far as to act as a manager and tell the cashier not to check this woman out because.....yes, she was Mexican and shouldn't be in this country. The woman corrected her and told her that she was in fact Indigenous and that if anyone shouldn't be here, it was Karen. This erupted into a fight where Karen shoved the woman and the woman flat out smacked her across the face. Karen was too smart to continue the fight but smugly walked off, obviously planning her lawsuit. Sorry, Karen, your ridiculousness was caught on tape. 

I also saw, a Karen threatening to call a homeowners association about two women out walking their pig. When the pig relieved himself and the women picked it up, Karen was beyond irate that he had done it in the first place. She was even angrier when the women told her that they had already discussed the pig with the HOA as he was a support pig and they took good care of him and he caused no problem. Karens' rage was intensified to the point that she then threatened to call the police. The women knowing that they were filming the whole scene and that they nor their pig had done anything wrong, told her to go ahead and call the police. This fueled Karen to the point of getting in their faces and taking pictures. WTH? What is wrong with people? 

And finally, a group of kids (about 9) decided to do something nice in their neighborhood and help their fellow neighbors who might not be able to take care of their yards or get out and mow. Kids know little about property lines so in one yard, they got a swath of another neighbors yard and that neighbor called the police on these kids. They were out doing something kind for their community, mowing, edging, and sweeping the walks and some Karens decided to call the police on them. What message does that send to the kids, the police, and other neighbors? We all know what message that sends and this is part of why we have the problems in this world that we have. Luckily, the police saw the bigger picture, and nothing was done to the kids. 

There is just video after video of this kind of crazy behavior where people show the absolute worst versions of themselves as if their actions were both acceptable and right. While yes, the First Amendment gives us all the right to free speech, I am also sure that our founding fathers expected that we use some common sense with this right, and just because we could say something didn't always mean we should. Apparently, though, the founding father's crystal ball wasn't working at the time and they didn't realize that 245 years later, we would have lost our minds, become entitled creatures showing little humanity, and decide that a right designed for all, should only cover the few...Kens and Karens, being the few. 

When I speak of entitlement, I am not talking about a specific color, race, sex, or culture, though some cultures seem to show more restraint and sense than others. Kudos to you. In every demographic though, there seem to be those who think the rules of humanity as well as the laws of the country and their own little piece of it, don't apply to them. They seem to think that they have the right to browbeat a 16-year-old on their first day of work because the milkshake machine went down, or scream at the Walmart greeter who is told to make sure everyone who enters has a mask. That is their job. Realize that it is your privilege to be in their store, so if you don't like their rules, you don't have to shop there, but you don't have the right to insult the greeter or have a meltdown because you don't like their rules. The world does not have to change to meet your standards. Instead, you find a place that does meet your standards and move on. 

The same applies to social media. How many times have you seen someone go off on someone else because they had differing opinions? The instigator has the right to say what they want and they think, but when someone tries to defend themselves or their views, they are insulted, name-called and shut down as if they don't have the same rights as the instigator. For those that might not recognize this, it's called being a bully, and they come in all colors, shapes, sizes, ethnicities, religions, and income levels. 

Where it is really getting bad is in groups on Facebook. People truly have lost all sense of right and wrong and have zero respect for rules. They seem to have just decided they can say and do what they want and no one should have a problem with it. If a group has rules, these provocateurs will sidestep them or in some cases trounce right over the top of them and act a fool and then blame admins and the group in general if they get called out, timed out, or thrown out, because of their own behaviors. It really is getting ridiculous and because of it, many groups are losing good members and good admins and some groups are just choosing to shut down altogether. Can you blame them? Dealing with adolescent acting, self-entitled adults gets exhausting and since being an admin is a volunteer gig, it is hardly worth the time and trouble to deal with a bunch of trolling bullies. 

We as a society need to realize that we are setting a bad standard not only for the present day but also for the generations that are coming up. This behavior of acting up and acting out and making excuses for the behavior has gone way too far. Those of us still fostering some normal brain cells have got to take a stand and send some of these tantruming Kens and Karens to the woodshed. 

Let's quit enabling and excusing this behavior with language like, "Well 2020 was such a rough year and people are just so stressed and......." YES, 2020 was a rough year, and not just for Karens and Kens. It was a rough year for all of us, and yet I don't have the expectation that I can walk into Walmart and tell them that just because I hate wearing a mask, that I don't have to wear one if that is their rule. If wearing a mask is so off-putting to me, I will go somewhere where they don't care if I wear a mask or not. I won't however, make Ms. Greeter feel like crap and rethink her whole job situation and other life choices, by throwing a tantrum and putting her in the middle of it all. That is not my right, my privilege, nor my entitlement to behave as if store rules do not apply to me. 

I also will not accept mental health issues as an excuse for bad behavior anymore. Of course, there are some very extreme cases where mental health factors into a situation, but that excuse gets used way too often anymore and it needs to be stopped. Using that excuse to meltdown because McDonald's is out of McNuggets should be embarrassing for you and it takes away from and lessens the reality for those who truly do have grave mental health issues. So enough! Don't hide behind mental health and use that as an excuse for bad behavior. About 75% of the population has some form of mental health issues and after this last year, that number is probably higher, but not everyone uses their mental health as an excuse to act a fool and verbally abuse innocent people. Shame on those who do!

Finally, as I said in the beginning if you are so easily triggered, have so little self-control, and are so self-entitled that you feel you are the only one who should have a voice, have rights, and have an opinion and that your behavior good or bad should just be accepted, then you are the problem. Instead of inflicting yourself on the world as you are, get some help. Try some anger management, if you really think you have mental health issues, get yourself to a therapist and most of all, get over yourself. The last year didn't just happen to you. We all suffered and we are all trying to heal and you Karen, are not helping yourself or anyone else by being a b! tch. Start using some common sense. You know, the stuff our founding fathers just assumed we would still have all these years later. 

If social media triggers you to the point of abusing others verbally or otherwise, get off of it and stay off of it. If the news media frightens you or keeps you stressed out, turn it off. If you can't handle being disagreed with or the company of other human beings, then get yourself an emotional support animal. Do what you need to do to keep yourself healthy, but don't feel that if you are unhappy or unhealthy that somehow it is okay, to make others just as unhappy and unhealthy as you are. 

For everyone else, quit cutting these instigators, bullies, trolls, Kens, Karens, and self-entitled narcissists slack. Start standing up to them and calling them out. Quit accepting unacceptable behavior and shut them down and shut them out. We as a society should be better than this. After all these 245 years of freedoms and rights, we should have learned more than we have. We should have learned to be grateful, to be kind, and to show humanity to our fellow human beings. It is not hate, entitlement, anger, or fear that are going to move us forward and make us whole. It is love, kindness, and forgiveness and until we master these, we will continue with this. 

<soapbox off>

Until next time, be kind, be calm, and most of all, show some self respect.....no one likes a bully. 

  

Racism, Murder...and White Privilege

I believe that I have stated before, that on my facebook page, I have many different friends and family members as facebook friends. Many of those friends and family hold far different views of everything from politics to views on the world, than I do. Because of this, there is often interesting debates/arguments on my personal fb page by those who don't always agree with my views. Sometimes I engage in the debates and sometimes I just take a pass for my mental health, but I always read each comment. It never fails though, after a heated discussion, there is always someone who will message me and ask me why I don't just unfriend those who are passionately opposed to my viewpoint. The answer is because, I always learn something from them. Yes, there are those who get a bit over zealous and get irritated because I refuse to let their view be mine, but truthfully, I have no stupid fb friends and therefore, I don't have to agree with what they have to say in order to learn from them.

The reason I bring this up is because one of those fb friends that I tend to butt heads with on occasion is one of my first cousins. She and I are close to the same age, but our lives have been vastly different. Other than our mother's being sisters and having some of the same blood coursing through our veins, we have very little in common and yet I find her so very interesting. She was born and raised in New York and that alone makes her view of the world, quite different from this Kansas girl. She is educated and very well traveled and she has seen and done things which my little mid-west heart could only dream of. She is every bit as liberal as I am conservative and at times, that makes us the epitome of oil and water. The funny thing is that I can post all day long about my immediate family, the weather or stupid memes that I find amusing and I hear nothing from her, but the second I post something political or with a viewpoint about something going on in the world (COVID-19, impeachment hearings, the George Floyd murder....you pick) and she usually has posted a comment before my fingers have even left the keypad. I had a friend tell me that they thought her rather rude to only comment on my opinion and not my actual life. On the contrary though, I take that as a huge compliment. She obviously finds my opinion or beliefs, at least interesting enough to comment on. Let's face it, other than my outspoken opinions at times....I'm just not that interesting. 

So yesterday, I made a post about George Floyds murder. Well, I didn't really say much, it was just an article about Officer Derek Chauvin and the other three officers who were fired because of their actions in the case. Now naturally, I think Chauvin and his crew deserved not only to be fired but to be tried and convicted of Mr. Floyds murder. I think this was a despicable act by a police officer(s) that held power over the public and chose to use that power in such a horrendous way. Being from the mid-west though, aside from the fact that I see this as murder, I may have also seen the whole situation in a different light than say someone from Minnesota......or New York. 

After reading about both the arrest and murder and also the victim and the police involved, I saw more than just a case of racism gone very bad. I saw a case of bad cops, who had consistently been bad cops, but who had never been held accountable for their actions. Everything I read, indicated that these men had been reported multiple times and still they had no record, no reprimands and worse, they were still on the streets. At the very least Chauvin should have been fired long ago and likely should have been in jail for his part in another "on the job" murder...and those officers who stood and watched Mr. Floyd's murder should be held just as accountable for his death as the perpetrator. There is obviously a problem within the Minneapolis PD that needs to be addressed and maybe now it will be. So yes, there was likely racism involved, but there was also some internal MPD problems that were allowing bad cops to slip through the cracks with bad behavior, and had theses been addressed sooner, maybe George Floyd would be alive today.

Yes, racism is all over the place and I hate it, but my direct knowledge of it is absolutely non-existent, so maybe that is why jumping to this situation being an act of racism was not my first thought. And this too is why I guess I have always had a problem with the term White Privilege. It always felt to me that this term in and of itself was a bit racist to whites. Yes, I believe that racism is not just towards blacks. Racism flourishes among all races and colors. That being said though, blacks do seem to take the brunt of the hate and disrespect. All in all though, I guess I just never really understood  the term White Privilege. I am white and yet I have never particularly seen myself as privileged. I have always felt that I had to work hard and fight for everything I had and I never saw much privilege in that. Along with that though, my attitude towards blacks has never been one of fear, disrespect or hate either. In fact, I am not much of a color person. I am more inclined to see how someone is through the expressiveness of their eyes, the kindness of their smile and the generosity of their soul which together gives an amazing view into their character. These things mean something to me....skin color does not.

So, my post had not been up long when I saw my cousins name pop up in fb notifications. I wondered before I looked. Surely this would be a topic that her and I, could agree on. After all, how could you not see the video and see it for any less than a murder? Perhaps here is where I should throw in that maybe one way my cousin and I are similar is that we both are very verbal human beings that can be very expressive when we have a point to make. Yeah, there is that family resemblance. To be honest though, when I first saw her comment, I saw the words "White Privilege" and being that it was almost midnight, I decided to leave the post and come back tomorrow (which is now today), when I would likely be more rested. Low and behold, the first thing that popped up when I opened fb today was her comment(s), so I grabbed my coffee and began to read.

Now she began with a nod to Colin Kaepernick's kneeling and racism being the justification for such an act. Honestly, she and I obviously hold very different views on this and we both have our own reasons for it, but that is another blog piece for another day. She then though, started talking about white privilege and after reading her words, for the first time, it made me look at the term "white privilege" a little differently. Perhaps it is where she lives and her personal experiences that she sees white privilege as she does. While I know racism exists even in small town America, I am sure the extent is much greater in New York and other more urban areas in the country. This is maybe why I have never thought too much in depth about WP and all that it implies. My cousin however, took this particular post to spell it out for me.

Granted, the post she made was a copy and paste, but the sentiment struck a chord with me. Racism is alive and well even all these years after a war was fought to end slavery and the racist ideas and attitudes that went with it. White Privilege is also a very real thing. As a white person, I may not have a lot of money, a nice house or a new car, but even if I am a white person living on the street, I do have certain privileges that those of color do not have. No matter what I do, whether it is walk in a nice neighborhood or even hold a gun in my hand, chances are that my actions will be viewed differently than that of a person of color. I can do most anything without anyone giving me a second glance, but people of color are often not afforded that luxury or respect.

Driving a nice car, walking into a convenience store at night, knocking on a door to ask for help when your car won't start, jogging and even going out bird watching.....all normal acceptable things for white people. Sadly though, these same normal activities can get a person of color scrutinized, questioned, arrested and even killed because of the color of their skin and nothing more. Pure and simply, my privilege is that I can do just about anything and no one thinks a thing of it, but those of color must constantly be thinking about what they do and how they do it, so as not to cause suspicion, for so many in this world view people of color as synonymous with criminal, illegal, dangerous, killer......and the list goes on and on. I guess there is something to that whole WP thing and all it takes is a minute to try and put yourself in the shoes of a black person to see this.

My heart goes out to Mr. Floyd's family. His death was senseless and even though I do believe that the issue in this case goes way beyond just racism, I do think that blacks have a reason to be angry. Mr. Floyd's death was not a singular incident and having to fear going out on the streets because of your skin color is horrific. I do not agree with all of the looting and destroying that has been going on in protest of Mr. Floyd's death and after reading about him, I don't think he would be happy with it either. If anything, the riots and looting are taking away from the real issue at the center of all of this and those taking part in it are destroying their own communities and the lives, livelihoods and businesses of innocent people who had nothing to do with Mr. Floyd, the police or the murder.

As I said, I don't understand racism. I believe that God created us all in His image and if we take into consideration where Jesus was born, it is a pretty definite assumption that His skin was much darker than those of us with WP. Until the day we see each other as human beings and celebrate that which makes us alike rather than fight about what makes us different, there will be more Mr. Floyds dying and more Chauvins spreading hate, disrespect and even death and how does that help anyone?

So....my cousin. She and I will likely always be miles apart in our world views. Her heart will beat blue and mine red. What also will not change is that we will both remain passionate on what we believe and speak our minds whenever we feel it necessary. We see the world from our own very different and very distinct vantage points and who is to say which view is right and which view is wrong? At the end of the day though, we are who we are and with an open mind and open heart, we still might have much to learn from each other.

Dear Cousin....thank you for my lesson in white privilege. It is not one I will soon forget.  

The Monster That Mark (Zuckerberg) Created

Many of you are too young to remember the birth of social media. It actually started with the likes of MySpace. It was pretty tame as there really wasn't a lot you could do with it, other than talk about yourself and add your favorite music. It wasn't a huge thing at first because not everyone had a home computer or the patience to hook up to the internet through AOL or any of the other internet land line hook ups. If anyone happened to be using the phone or in fact breathing in another room, it would take forever to access the internet and once you were connected, if said person in the other room picked up the phone receiver and/or breathed, you could easily be knocked off the internet and have to go through the pain staking process of reconnecting yet again. 

As the internet and the number of internet users have quadrupaplied over the years, social media has changed immensely. Even when I first joined Facebook, it was a much different animal than today and I was even fairly late to the game when it came to Mark Zuckerberg's newly created baby. 

In it's infancy, Facebook was kind of cool. Originally it was for college age kids to chat up, meet up and hook up via the internet. It was kind of a closed knit group trying to stay relevant and hip in the ever changing world of technology. Soon though, others were stretching the original Zuckerberg appointed boundaries and before the Z-man could say "billion dollar technology" Facebook had kicked MySpace to the curb and people of all ages from 9 to 90 were getting in on the this new form of social media. 

When I joined it was in 2009. Back then it was still a cool little place to be where you ran into family and long lost friends. At that time, they did not make it easy for you to find people though and if you spent too much time searching for people, they would lock your search privileges out. I guess back then, peoples privacy actually meant something to them. You also had to be extremely careful back then about what you said on this social media platform, as anything remotely political, hateful or too negative could get you put in a "time out" where you couldn't post for several days up to and/or including.....getting kicked off permanently. It also wasn't that easy to come back in with a new "fake" profile as they did their best to track IP addresses and locations. 

In the last decade, Facebook has transformed from this homey feeling little social group with straight across the board rules, to one of the largest social media entities in the world. The Facebook of 2019, allows people not only to search people at will, but also to stalk, harass and bully. Foul language, hate speech, threats and negative and hate filled posts now seem to be the bread and butter of the empire that Zuckerberg created. What is truly tragic though, is that this once cool little piece of technology that put us in touch with Aunt Gladys in Tuscon and our long lost boy friend in Poughkeepsie, has had a rather negative effect on society in general. 

I do honestly believe that in its inception, Facebook was created to be no more innocuous than an internet meeting spot where kids across the country could meet up and chat. They could exchange ideas and it would bring this big world in a little closer. I don't think than in his wildest dreams that Zuckerberg and his crew could have ever imagined how Facebook would take off or how it would change how we look at social media and how its very presence could literally change the actions and attitudes of literally the world. 

In the last few years, Facebook has become a breeding ground for political and religious upheaval. It has become the place where the main stream media has learned to control and manipulate the minds and reactions of the masses and it has become the place where crime is committed daily. Through Facebook, people have been stalked, cat fished, bullied and threatened. Pornography and pedophilia run rampant and many, many deaths and suicides can have their roots traced back to Facebook posts. 

In my opinion though, one of the worst things that Facebook has brought out in society, is the way people have started treating each other. Behind the computer screen, people who don't have the self confidence to be bold in the real world, take out all of their frustration and anger on social media. People use it as a sounding board for attention seeking behavior and when others "like" their negative and abusive posts or comment on them, it tends to unleash truly evil and hateful tenancies in them. 

Facebook has taught us that the only opinion that counts is ours and if someone disagrees, we can throw a tantrum and become hateful and threatening. It has taught us that we should be respected but we don't have to show respect to others. It has taught us that we can put our family and friends on blast when we are angry at them and that we can literally ruin peoples families, careers and lives by posting lies, photo's and innuendos. In other words, Facebook and social media have taught us to be the worst versions of ourselves with no remorse or willingness to accept the consequences of our actions. 

Again, I don't think this was ever the desired outcome when Facebook was created. I think though, that when money and billions and billions of people factored in, this train went off the rails pretty quickly and there was simply no way to pull it back on track. 

Recently I have been mulling over my love/hate relationship with Facebook and social media in general. I still love the ability to talk to people I can't see daily and the making of new friends. I like keeping up with family and the ability to help my community with group pages. I however, am becoming more and more disillusioned with the negativity that social media seems to unleash, especially in people that I know before social media weren't like this. I don't like the pages designed for nothing more than bringing out the hate and negativity in people and the constant barrage of fake news thrown at the masses in the hopes of causing even more unrest and yes....even violent behavior. 

Honestly, my presence on Facebook (the only social media I really use), is getting smaller and smaller. I am trying in my own personal life to keep myself peaceful and positive and just opening up Facebook can often get my anxiety going when there is little positivity or kindness on it  and yet so much negativity and hate. I am taking baby steps in my life and making small changes here and there and if Facebook continues to be the mecca of diseased minds and hateful hearts, then at some point, I may have to put this particular social media in my rear view mirror. 

Mark my boy, and all who run the Facebook machine, if money and the power of ruling the masses hasn't already eaten your soul, now might be a great time to reevaluate the monster you have created and change a few things. I am afraid if you don't, that we may be seeing the last few shreds of mans humanity falling away and what will be left, I don't think any of us wants to see. 

Until next time..........

Yay It's Monday?!

Today's blog comes with a warning. I have no clue in what direction this is headed or what is going to slosh out from my brain, flow through my fingers and end up on the page. I think it is pretty safe to say that by the end, we are likely to all be surprised!

*Monday's are normally my "like" or "not like" blogs. Today however, I think there maybe a little like, possibly a smidge of love, a whole lot of don't like, some possible wants and maybe even a hate or two. Really though, who the heck knows what I might decide to unload? Again....WARNING!

I know I have expressed vehemently in both the past and the present, how much I really don't care for Monday's. Well, this week....Monday is so unbelievably welcome, as it means this last weekend is over! Now don't get me wrong, it didn't all suck, but the insight and perspective I ended up with after the last 48 hours was literally exhausting. It all started with a friend coming over Friday night. She and I had actually not really talked in several months so we thought WOW....what a great time to catch up. Poor girl. She had no idea what she was in for when she innocently asked, "So....what's been going on?" The last seven months came pouring out and I am very sure by the time she left she was good with waiting to see me another seven months!

My weekend continued on with me spending the better part of Saturday and Sunday, doling out sage advice to 18 year olds. Well, it sounded sage coming out. Who knew 50+ years of life experience would come in so handy and be so disregarded by those barely out of the womb? Don't correct me. Those 18 years went by fast. In my book....that's barely out of the womb! Doling out advice....sage or otherwise....always proves to be time consuming, exhausting and invariably makes my me wish my mother was still around so that I could apologize to her for being a dumbass all those years ago when I too thought I was too smart for sage advice.

On a more positive note, a big part of Davids back yard project was completed on Saturday. We now have a completed pool and deck. We capped the completion of the project off with a tween pool party that I had promised to a young girl who had spent part of her summer helping with the project. We had the pool, the fire pit and we tried the projector out for the first time. There were a couple of bugs and we learned that old pool liner puts off toxic fumes if you try to burn it in the fire pit. All in all though, the party went well.

Yesterday, when I wasn't doling out advice, I was laying on the couch sneezing, hacking, aching and feeling like crap. Not sure whether it was too much advice, too much toxic fire pit or just too much perspective on my life. Whatever the case though, Sunday wasn't one of my better days. I found myself about 3 o'clockish, longing for Monday. That's when I knew that this particular weekend had worn out its welcome and it was definitely time to move on.

So today it's Monday. Here is where all that stuff I warned you about in paragraph two* comes in. Perhaps it is a combination of what came to me this weekend, this summer and quite possibly even as far back as Dec. 31, 2013. Well....here goes nothing......

I hate doing it all alone! I didn't sign on for this.
It is no fun being a half century old and feeling like the only thing you have going for you is advice that no one else appreciates and won't.......until they too are a half century old.
I like having goals. They direct me and sometimes even motivate me.
I hate having goals because when life steps in and my goals become non-existent...I fail. I am not a fan of failing.
I like the show Extreme Weight Loss. I like watching people make goals and keep them.
I really like a new drink I discovered.....Apple Jacks. Jack Daniels and apple juice. Yummy....and no, I am not drinking one as I am typing this.
I don't like that my car tags are due in three days and I can't afford to get them.
I don't like getting tickets because I don't have my car tags.
I like the Disney show Good Luck Charlie. It makes me laugh and sometimes I need a good laugh and I am not above watching the Disney Channel to get it.
I don't like that I will be starting August financially short and overdrawn. As overrated as bill paying is, it is still a requirement to live.
I love that Disney brought back Corey and Topanga for Girl Meets World. Yes, there maybe a Disney theme developing here.
I like time by the pool not thinking.
I like doing dishes by hand and listening to music because once again....there is no thinking.
I don't like bedtime, because that's apparently when I do all of my thinking.
I love my blogs. They keep me sane.
I don't like to always have to be the one to make things "okay" for everyone else. It simply is beyond my skill set.
I hate doing it all alone! 
I want someone to step in and make everything alright for me for once. Is that really asking so much?
I love my family....immediate, extended, blood and framily and there is nothing I wouldn't do for any of them. I just wish some of them felt the same.
I want David to walk and talk and have an amazing life.
I hate that I can't give him more.
I hate being judged as a daughter, sister, mother or person. Walk in my shoes and then we'll talk.
I don't want to be rich, but caught up would be terrific.
I am thankful for all who have been so kind to David over the years. I hope someday to pay it forward.
I hate that my mom is no longer here and that I am without her sage advice. 
I hate having bills and no money.
I hate not having a job.
I hate that no one has discovered my amazing writing skills and hired me on the spot!
I hate that I am not good at more.
I love home grown tomatoes and homemade bread.
I miss my husband.
I miss our house.
I miss our family back then.
I miss sharing it all.
I hate doing it all alone! 
I hate always being the strong one.....when I am anything but strong.
I hate to cry.
I like to laugh.
I like to cook.
I like to read.
I love to dance like nobody's watching.....even if they are.
I love to sing like I can....even though I can't.
I love to hear Z sing. He actually can!
I love to hear David laugh.
I love sitting around the fire with my friends and forgetting about advice, money or the fact that not all those I love are with me.
I love knowing that each time I fall, I get up stronger.
I love that I am smart, determined and that my words can be both gentle and powerful and sometimes both at the same time.
I hate doing it all alone!
I love having the faith to know that there is a plan bigger than mine, better than mine and that things will eventually all work out.....even if I'm doing it....all alone!

So there you have it. Yay.....it's Monday?! And apparently, I am feeling a bit alone!

I Just Hate Mondays

Look out! It's Monday and by preconceived notion and Monday's flawless track record, I have no great hope that today will be anything less than a......Monday. Because of this, I have decided to use this day to it's fullest and unload my current dislikes of and in the world. So suit up, put on your protective gear and get ready 'cause here it comes.

I don't like getting older. Don't get me wrong, I love living, I just don't like gray hair, bad vision, sags, bags and wrinkles. It takes away from my mental illusion of being young.

I don't like Reality TV! It sucks me in, dumbs me down and gives me nightmares about the Jersey Shore as well as makes me question a world where Honey Boo Boo could be queen.

I don't like lazy baggers at a full service grocery store. Don't think you're just going to get by with bagging my twenty bags of groceries. Oh no....you are taking them to my car and unloading them too. And by the way...yes, me walking away without my basket does mean you are suppose to follow me to the car. If I wanted to load my own groceries I would have gone to Walmart!

I hate mosquito's, ticks and wasps as all are attracted to me and none in a good way. If only men were so easily attracted. 

I am not a fan of doctors offices, ER's or hospitals and yet I have earned enough frequent flier miles at each that I should be able to travel to the Mayo Clinic with first class travel and deluxe accommodations several times over.

I can't stand rude kids who haven't been taught better and rude adults who certainly should know better. Yes...I do see the pattern. 

I despise the term Politically Correct and every time I hear it I want to say "Hey 1990 called and they want their stupid term back." Really though....they don't! 

I don't like my dryer as I spend way too much time looking for missing socks and underwear. Yes, my dryer's appetite for destruction seems to carry over to underwear too and someday I will go to Dryerland and find them all!

I hate hot cars, cold floors and dripping faucets.

I am not a fan of straight tequila, light beer or wine of any kind.

I despise seizures, Lupus and cancer and would do just about anything to eradicate them all.

I hate loss, loneliness and the urge to vacation in Pityland.....when one or both occur.

I don't like hot Spaghetti O's, cold soup or any cheese that smells like it has been stuck in my shoe for a week.

I can't stand election years, political parties or any commercial that ends with, "I am ________ and I approve this message." 

Mostly though.....I just hate Monday's. 

Don't Take Debate Just Because a Cute Guy's in Your Class OR Scratching Your Nose With Your Gun Could Cause Death

I am exhausted today....but I did it to myself. I am too old to stay up until 2 a.m. debating....when I need every precious second of beauty  sleep I can grab. That being said....I had a ball debating last night....until the person I was debating took their toys, their posts, and apparently a bad attitude and went to bed. All that debate and when it was all said and done....it looked as if I was debating myself.

A funny story about me and debating. When I was in high school....I took forensics which covered among other things....debate. I sucked at it. No...actually "sucking" would have been too kind of an adjective! Week after week I stood up and made a royal fool out of myself and lived in humiliation that whole year. Why you ask did I put myself through such torture....especially when forensics was an elective? Lets just say....there was this boy....cute, dark, and much more talented at forensics than I. Cute as he was though....another year of forensics was not in the cards for me. The details are foggy....so I can't remember if I was simply asked NOT to join again....or if my self inflicted humiliation finally got the better of me.

Then many years and many life experiences later, I found debating again. It was in the form of a politically conservative web site.(Yeah...big shock that I am a conservative!!! Get over it....I'm still funny!) Once I learned my way around debate and the etiquette (yes....there actually is a right and wrong way to do it).....then I was off. Many an evening I stayed up way past my bed time debating everything from religion, to politics, to one time I even spent hours debating dog vs. cat.

I learned early on that everyone has an opinion....but in order to debate....you better be able to back your opinion up. Also....it is NOT personal. If someone doesn't  agree with you....that is okay. Sometimes you just have to agree to disagree.

Debate is one of the greatest learning tools we have and through respectful debate....even if you don't change someones mind on a subject, you might just get them to thinking.  Notice too...that I said respectful debate! All too often, I have seen grown men and women resort to behaviors that would even be frowned on...on a playground. Someone starts taking the debate personally and then out comes the name calling, the offensive remarks, and finally the complete and total breakdown of anything remotely constructive. I often wonder if this is really how these people act when someone disagrees with them or if they are merely acting this way because they have the anonymity of the internet to hide behind. At any rate....it has always been my belief that when someone starts the insults and name calling....it is a pretty safe bet that they have run out of anything else intelligent to say.

So as I was saying....last night was kind of a treat for me because I really have tried to avoid debate for awhile now. I just wasn't up for having to explain myself fifty times while being called a terrorist, racist or some other "ist" word. But last night two topics caught my eye and  just could not go undebated. The first one was a religious topic where a picture of a baptist church in GA had a sign out front that said: Catholicism will take you to hell! There was no way THAT was going undebated. This little Roman Catholic girl attacked that like St. Michael attacking the devil. It actually was great though and the people who joined in....for the most part, used the debate as a tool for learning and trying to get to know more about the way other religions practice their worship of God. I was very pleased.

The other debate though....didn't turn out quite so well. The topic was abortion...and I landed on that with both feet. It is a hot button with me and a subject I have debated often. About two posts in.....he began calling me a "fascist" and as you can imagine....it went down hill from there. Before I knew it....he had removed all his posts and "virtually" stomped off in a huff. Apparently it was something I said!

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Just when you think you have seen and heard it all.......along comes Kamau Kambon.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jh1YOIxtAz4
As I listened to this man speak, I had to wonder how someone can be filled with such complete hate for another human being...let alone......an entire race.

Kambon spoke such atrocious lies about how the white man wants the black man dead and that we are trying to enslave them yet again (or maybe still), that it almost left me speechless. He feels that the black man must rise up against the white man and figure out a way to rid the world of us. RID THE WORLD OF US???? Who thinks like that???

His speech was on CSPAN...but he spoke of "educating" the young 15, 16, 17 year old black youth about the evils of the white man and the need to eradicate them (my word...not his.) The scary thing is....apparently this man is an educator and this is what he is filling young black peoples minds with. Does this man not see what he is doing to these impressionable minds??? He is teaching them to hate and to kill and if he thinks this is going to be directed only at the white man....he is nuts. Hating and killing don't see skin color or race....and once fueled can become an enormous and unstoppable monster which will wipe out everything in its path. The outcome of such thinking will only bring disaster for not only white men but ALL men for when hate takes hold, destruction is never far behind.

Again I ask....how can someone hate his fellow human beings so much????

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And finally in news too ridiculous to believe......a cop shoots himself in the head while.....wait for it....wait for it..........scratching his nose with his gun!!!!
http://english.pravda.ru/hotspots/crimes/113311-policeman-0/

Apparently in Russia...teaching gun safety to aspiring policemen does not include a lesson in how NOT to use your weapon as a nose scratcher. And to think....this man was hired to protect and serve.

Well folks....this is what is going on in Lisaland and beyond on this beautiful, sunny day in the heart of North America! Here's hoping that you have a wonderful weekend and that your next itch...doesn't end with a boom (yes I went there!)

Shenanigans, Phelps, and the ACLU....OH MY!!!!!!

"How are you today?" I asked the face in the mirror. "Fine!" I replied. Boy did I miss the mark on that  one. Well....actually I was fine, until I found out more shenanigans my son has been up to. (Shenanigans....I love that word. It makes the unacceptable...sound much more acceptable.) At any rate...when you live within small communities....nothing goes unnoticed and therefore....childrens shenanigans....ALWAYS get back to Mom.

Once again I am pounding my head against the wall and wondering what the answers are to raising a young man whose favorite words are "I am a grown ass man," and then turns around and acts like a 16 year old without a brain cell in his head. Oops....I forgot. He IS a grown ass man and he shouldn't be acting a fool and getting himself into things that he can't get out of. More over that though.....my days of raising him are through. That ship sailed years ago as he ran from my home screaming what an adult he was and how I was too stupid to dress myself....let alone give him advice on how to live his life.

Funny though, every time he has  a car repair, a divorce,  a run in with the law, or a problem of any kind....Mom apparently looks pretty good. Then once Mom runs to the rescue....helps to get things fixed...and things start looking up....I am once again the dirt beneath his shoes. I will say however, he is an equal opportunity user....for any family member who is willing and stupid enough to help him gets equally walked on.

Do I sound harsh? I feel harsh...and to be honest....all my anger is not at him. I own a good percent of the blame in his willingness to use me....as I have allowed it. Being Mom, I always want to fix things and make it all okay as if he was still coming to me with skinned elbows and knees. But there comes a time when fixing things doesn't really help any more. Sometimes, we as parents, have to stand back and let those wounds sting and bleed. No kiss....no bandage....no help. Now is that time for my son.

We have not talked since Christmas when I realized what a fool I was being and how I was being lied to and taken advantage of. Then the day before Mother's Day he called. I knew he was wanting something and it wasn't just to wish me a Happy Mother's Day. I cut him short and ended the conversation just as he began telling me that our problems were my fault. Now I find out this. The details don't matter. It is just another in a long line of shenanigans that will require money to fix and this time maybe even more. But this time....I can't help. This time he is going to have to do more than pay lip service to being..........a grown ass man!

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http://www.kansas.com/2010/05/19/1320501/kan-ag-readies-brief-in-funeral.html
This article was in the local paper. The people being referred to....the Phelps family....I simply do not understand. I am sure I am just one of a multitude of Christian Americans who stand back and scratch their heads wondering how these people can call themselves Christian or American?


This family prides itself on using their Constitutional rights (mainly their right to free speech) to constantly put down all things Christian and American while hiding behind a self proclaimed Christian church...better known as the Westboro Baptist Church. Fred Phelps...the leader (preacher, minister, whatever) of this church, teaches his flock (many of whom are related to him) that hate is the Christian way. And hate they do!!!! They hate other Christians, service men, the families of service men, politicians, the court system (which they try to use to further their message of hate), America in general......and most especially gays!!!!! And what is sadder is....they have such a warped sense of  God, religion, and most things in general....that what comes from this is nothing more than someone teaching a whole new generation that hate is the answer.


And they are not satisfied to practice their hate filled beliefs in the confines of their church. Oh no...these followers of Phelps take their hate on the road. Most particularly they choose military funerals of young men and women who have died for their churches right to free speech. They come with signs a blazing about how God hates fags! or Thank God for IED's or simply God hates you! The fact that the poor families of these brave soldiers must be subjected to such hate on what is most likely the worst day of their lives.....is reprehensible to say the least.


Now the KS Attorney General is trying with the help of AG's from other states to make it illegal for Phelps and his hate-filled flock to picket at military funerals. While I am a proponent of free speech. I also believe that when our founding fathers gave us the 1st Amendment.....they had in mind a more civilized and dare I say responsible America than what we now seem to have. I think that there was an expectation that just because you can say or do something.....doesn't always mean that you should. This concept apparently goes over the heads of Phelps and his congregation. I am of the firm belief that All funerals should have a strict policy that no protests, picketing etc. can be done within the perimeter of the cemetery. That way no one is taking away Phelps' 1st Amendment rights....and the privacy of the family in mourning is also being respected.


It is a tough world we live in and sadly....where there are rights....there will always be those around to misuse, abuse, and twist them in a way that was never intended. To take those rights away from the few who abuse them is impossible in a democracy for if a few are judged unworthy of the right.....how long will it be before others are deemed just as unworthy because they are voicing something someone else might not want to hear?

          ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And finally today.....on the same note...yet different (sort of)....the ACLU is suing for the right to swear. 
http://www.funnymos.com/aclu-sues-to-protect-right-to-swear.html#more-454

You just can't make this stuff up. Apparently Pennsylvania has a real problem with swearing and finds verbal profanity unacceptable. Yet a Google search of strip clubs in the state finds that physical profanity is obviously not so frowned on. Again I have to scream REALLY!!!!!!

Come on! If you cuss in PA you can get a fine and a jail term but promote the skin trade and the powers that be look the other way?!  Hmmm.... I am no big fan of the ACLU (The American Civil Liberties Union) but I think this one they got right. And shame on Pennsylvania for wasting man power and tax dollars on someone who's only crime is to cuss. Don't you have drug dealers, murderers, and pedophiles to put away like the rest of the country?????

So as you can see....today I have not been in a good place and my blog is evidence of such. In fact...you might say that today has been really  f*@%#& up!  Oops.....Thank God I don't live in Pennsylvania!