Imitation, Appreciation, Appropriation

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Anyone else grow up hearing that? It is true. I don't know of anyone who is going to imitate a style, view, or belief if they don't appreciate it or find it to hold merit and be worthy of imitation. 

Now I am likely getting ready to step into a subject that some of you may feel I am not "woke" enough to have a viewpoint on and yet....here I am. And honestly, I have been living in this world a lot longer than many of you reading this and I have watched the imitation of style and culture for several decades. Until recently, the sharing of cultures, styles, and beliefs has been viewed as a good thing and a way to bring the world and its different people and cultures together, but now.....we live in a very different world. The following is my view and my respectful thoughts on this subject. As always, you don't have to agree, but maybe it will give you a different perspective, even if in the end, we have to agree to disagree. 

Recently, I have been hearing so much about Cultural Appropriation, and I honestly think it may be a reaction to the current state of the world we live in. When we are hurt or feel disrespected, we take our toys, or in this case....culture, and go home. I think we are seeing some of this currently and I find it sad at best and a loss of the best part of educating on and understanding different cultures at worst.  

According to Wiki, the definition of cultural appropriation is the adoption of an element or elements of one culture or identity by members of another culture or identity. So let's think about this for a minute. Since this country came into existence, all cultures have done this. We have always shared, learned from, and imitated each other's ways. When multiple cultures start intermingling, it happens and it is considered a good thing for cultural growth and mutual understanding. 

In a country as big as ours, there are always going to be many and varied cultures and each culture brings new and different things to the table whether it is ways of working or crafting, different types of foods, furnishings, clothing styles, and hairstyles. It is how a multi-cultural community, city, state, and country learn and grow from each other. 

So this cultural appropriation dialogue has just been the latest frustration in the ongoing race issues this country is dealing with. It has become one of the newest ways people seem to find racism, only, in this case, maybe it doesn't actually exist. 

Now, I am not saying that racism is not real and that it isn't a problem in our country and our world. In fact, over the last decade, racism has hit epic proportions and it is directed at every race from every race, but I really don't think that cultural appropriation has anything to do with racism. In fact, if you try to bring racism into it, you simply can't make a good case, because far from being racist, imitation actually shows respect for other cultures and a sharing of beliefs, styles, and views. In my humble opinion, to ignore or pigeonhole other cultures is what is truly racist. If you pretend that their style, cuisine, and culture don't exist or aren't worth sharing and yes, even imitating, then you are saying that as a people, they simply don't matter. Apparently, though, not everyone sees it like I do.  

What seems to be most under fire currently though is style. While I have been hearing so much about cultural appropriation in general, one celebrity of sorts who currently has her feet to the flames is singer, Gwen Stefani. Now don't get me wrong, I am not really a fan of hers, but I do think that people are being a bit ridiculous right now. Ms. Stefani's big sin in cultural appropriation comes from various hairstyles and styles in general that she wore for a while when performing. The style she wore is called Harajuku and, it is a collaboration of gothic, punk, and Japanese styles. The style started in Japan and suddenly there were Harajuku girls everywhere. As many styles do, it found its way to the internet, then runways and before long, the Harajuku style was being imitated all over the world. Stefani, who was all about young up-and-coming style, found Harajuku particularly appealing, and before we knew it, she had a song, a business brand, and a personal style that were very Harajuku.  

Like most styles and fads, time moved on, Stefani's style changed with the times and I personally hadn't thought about or even heard of Harajuku in a while. Suddenly though, Stefani is under fire for.....yep, you guessed it, cultural appropriation. It apparently is a big enough deal to some, to make it to national news outlets and end up in my social media newsfeed over and over again. Why? Why? Why is this such a newsmaker and why are people so upset over it? It makes no sense to me. 

After doing some reading on the subject, the appropriation concern is that because Stefani made her name synonymous with Harajuku, that she actually took it away from the culture that created it. Hmmm....first of all, the style itself is a mix of many styles, though it was a Japanese creation. This means that the Japanese appropriated the punk and gothic American styles to create something that they don't want an American to appropriate from them. Do you see the lack of real argument here? Add to that, Stefani's song Harajuku Girl, basically pays homage to the style itself and my question is.....where is the problem? Do they think that we might miss the fact that the style was literally, made in Japan? 

So let's take a deeper dive here. This country started with Indigenous people, but soon became a melting pot of races, colors, cultures, ethnicities, and religions. Each new group from white to black to Asian to Latino and every other group in between has brought with them specific ways of life, foods, faiths, beliefs, and styles. Once here, they began doing what people co-existing together do. They started mingling, sharing, and teaching their different cultures. They learned new cuisines, styles, and ways of life and some even intermarried, creating new cultures within old ones. By doing this though, it doesn't mean that anything is taken away from the original. It only means that it is shared and appreciated, not appropriated by new cultures. Quite honestly, it is part of what makes our world so great. 

If we are going to talk race here, then let's take it to the simplest terms. If you aren't willing to share your country, jobs, businesses, neighborhoods, schools, kindness, style, and culture with others regardless of race, color or ethnicity....then maybe you need to question your own culpability on the issue of racism. If on the other hand, you willingly share all those things and appreciate the fact that your culture is respected enough to be imitated, and through that imitation, there might be some much needed cultural education, then I think that you just might be doing it right, and there may still be hope for this world yet. 

So there you have it. I may not be "woke" but I am awake, and I think that through the sharing of our cultures, we can only improve the world and make it a better place. 

Until next time, may you find kindness, may you give kindness, and may you appreciate all the people, cultures, races, and styles that this world has to offer. 

Racism: My Truth

I did a thing last week. I deactivated my facebook account. I was sick of the sickness of hate and fear being spread across social media and I personally didn't want to see it anymore. It was literally affecting my mental status and trickling down into my daily life. I had to do something to change myself as it was obvious I have no control over anyone else.

Of course being able to stay deactivated is not as easy as it sounds, as I am an administrator for several facebook groups, so I reactivated, but I hid my fb app button so that it was not automatically the first button I hit when I got on my computer or my phone and I only go on fb when my notifications tell me that someone has specifically tried to message me or tagged me. It has worked beautifully. It has also given me some much needed time to think without social media and the news media trying to influence my thoughts. It has given me some much needed peace too, as well as a chance to process who I am in this world and how I or if I fit into all the unrest. The following is my feelings, beliefs....my truth if you will on racism in 2020.

I have never owned slaves in my lifetime. While I may have family members in my family tree who have, I doubt it. My family was mainly white republicans who fought for the north against slavery. Those of my family who were from the south were so poor that they themselves were often times hired out as help. And....my family underwent their share of discrimination and racism as they were poor Irish Catholics who came to this country by ship and who were treated as if they were less than animals. This was another less than glorious time in our countries history, but you actually hear little about it.

The facts of my life are this. If I see someone who is hurt or in danger, skin color makes no difference. I help. If I am standing in line in the supermarket and the person in front of me does not have the money to cover their groceries, skin color makes no difference. I help. Skin color has never once in my life affected how I treated another human being and I can't see that ever changing. To me, character, soul and what is on the inside matter. Color is external and means very little to me.

My first best friend in first grade was a little girl named Lisa. She was one of the first in the desegregation process to be bussed. She was a beautiful little black girl whose hair was always done in braids. Perhaps I was drawn to her because she was different. Most of us feel different at one time or another and at 6 years old, it is hard to be in a new school all the way across town with kids who are white and you are black. I remember thinking that I didn't want her to be scared or alone, two things I was sure that I would have felt had the shoe been on the other foot. We hit it off and were fast friends in the classroom and on the playground. Color didn't matter, except for the fact that she used to say that she was a chocolate ice cream cone and I was a vanilla ice cream cone. We were different colors but we were both still ice cream.

While I can't speak to life during the desegregation process in other parts of the country, in little Wichita, KS, my experience and what I saw were much different I am sure, than what was going on in more urban parts of the country. Yes, Wichita had it's place in helping to change racism but when it came to bussing, both sides had a tough time dealing. Before bussing took place in Wichita, there were black neighborhoods and white neighborhoods and each had schools, most of the time within walking distance in those neighborhoods. In an era where many homes had either no cars or only one car, having your child within walking distance was almost a necessity. When bussing began though, both white and black families were put on a lottery and during the summer, if your number came up, your family/kids would be bussed across town to a different school come fall. While this was a wonderful thing in the respect of desegregation, it was tough for families with kids who had to be on a bus at 6 a.m. and often didn't make it home until after 5 p.m. Those were long days for little ones and although equality was what was wanted and needed, starting out, it was throwing kids into completely different surroundings, different culture and with different people of a different color. Those were not easy times, even for 6 year olds who had no idea what racism was and why they couldn't stay in their own neighborhoods and go to their own school with friends they had known forever.

Even though we lived in Kansas in the 1960's, there was still a pretty decent amount of unrest. My mom and Lisa's mom met at a school open house. Being little girls who wanted to play together and not just at school, I still remember our mothers trying to figure out a way for us to make it happen. After much discussion, it came down to the fact that Lisa's mom said at the current time it probably wasn't safe for a little white girl to be playing in their neighborhood, and she didn't feel comfortable with Lisa coming to my house as it was an all white neighborhood. Neither mom was upset, it was just the times we lived in. Only Lisa and I were upset and being six, neither of us understood that our color was the reason we couldn't play together.

The next year my family moved and from my second grade year until my seventh grade year, I was in several different schools. I went from an all white Catholic school, to a school in New Mexico with a variety of kids of colors and races as we lived right off an Air Force Base. Then I moved to a small oil town back in Kansas where the kids were actually about a half black and half white. I was pretty proficient at making friends wherever I went and my friendships were never based on color. They were always based on whoever seemed to take a liking to you for whatever reason.

When I moved to the current town I live in back in the 1970's, it was predominantly white. I believe there was only one black family in the town and I really didn't know them because their kids weren't around my age. I think this was the first time I ever realized what racism was though. I worked in a grocery store as a checkout person and the store management was mostly older people. Now I was taught to respect people (especially my elders) regardless of what I thought. I also knew that respecting them, didn't always mean agreeing with them. The first time I was working when the black family came in, it was just the man and his wife. When they went up and down the aisles to shop, it was as if people just avoided the aisles they were on. Then when it was time to check them out, no checker could be found. At that point, I was still just a sack girl and had not been trained to check yet. I remember trying to call a checker to the front and being so embarrassed that none were coming. Eventually, I went and dragged one out of the break room and made it uncomfortable enough that she had to check them out. She was about 50 and very rude and cold to them. I carried out their groceries and apologized to them. They were so kind. From the moment I became a checker, I made sure to be up at the front if they came in and they never had to wait to be checked out. My manager never said anything to me, although I know he watched me check them out, several times. I remember talking to my mother about this and her saying, "You respect that you have a job. You can't change your managers but you can be the best person and best employee you can be. Make that family feel respected when they come in, even if it's by no one but you." So I did.

It wasn't until I was an adult and worked at a hospital that I peered into the world we lived in yet again. At the hospital I worked with all kinds of people who were all colors and all ethnicities. One girl that I worked with, I really liked. She was very smart and knew her job well and she was the "go to" person for any questions. She was patient, kind and knowledgeable. She was also black. She was about my age at the time which was early 20's and she had developed a blood clot in her leg. I remember it being a very scary situation and all of us who worked with her were concerned. The clot eventually dissolved but during the time, she continued to try and work as much as possible. Then she found out she was pregnant. She was so excited and we were so excited for her. We spent weeks planning gifts for the baby shower we knew her mom was going to have for her. When the party day arrived, it was on a hot Saturday in the middle of the summer. One by one we all showed up to her mother's house which happened to be in a black neighborhood. The party was outdoors and started in the afternoon. It was a big affair with all of her family and local friends there. The only whites there were us 10 or so coworkers. I really thought nothing of it and had a wonderful time. Everyone was so nice and so kind and she had a such a good time celebrating the impending birth of her child. As the afternoon began to turn into evening and people began to leave, I started helping to clean up. I was one of the few left and the only white girl left. When her mother realized I was still there, she literally grabbed my purse and walked me quickly to my car. She was very kind but told me that I had to leave immediately and to keep my windows rolled up and to not stop for anyone no matter what. I had no idea why but I did as I was told. The next Monday at work, I asked my friend why her mother had acted that way. I thought perhaps I had done something wrong. No. She explained that whites in a black neighborhood after dark were safe for no one. She didn't want me to risk getting hurt. I truly had no idea that it was even a possibility.

Since that time, I have known blacks of all income levels, religions, skin variations, political affiliations and beliefs. I have known some of the nicest, kindest blacks and I have known blacks that were liars, thieves and wished me harm. The contrast to that is that I have also known whites of all income levels, religions, skin variations, political affiliations and beliefs. I have known some of the nicest, kindest whites and I have known whites that were liars, thieves and wished me harm.

I am not black and therefore I cannot know what it feels like to be black. I don't know what struggles they have personally gone through and I don't know their anger and frustration. What I do know is that I have never been unkind to anyone because of the color of their skin. I have never thought less of or treated someone with malice, hate or cruelty because they were black, brown or any other color. I would help any human of any color if I saw they needed it and I can sure tell you that I wouldn't stand back and take video if I thought another human being was in trouble or dying.

I will not apologize for being white and I will not feel bad for being who I am as a person. I am just as God made me. I cannot change those who hate for the sake of hating or those who let color decide a persons worth. I cannot change the past, nor the actions of those in the past. I cannot change the bad in people of all colors and I can't make people hear my words. All I can do is continue to be me. To make sure that I am the best person I can be and to teach the same to my kids and grand kids. I can just keep trying to do the next right thing.

The sins of the past cannot be atoned for by those who had no hand in them. Hate will not be quelled with more hate. Ignorance and fear are the most infectious diseases out there and as long as they are allowed to fester, we will continue to create more of each. Until we come together as human beings and quit allowing ourselves to be divided, we will all remain losers in the fight for equality and respect. You can't allow your anger to rule you, regardless of how justified you feel it is, for anger never solved anything but can destroy everything.

All races/skin colors/ethnicities should be proud of who they are. Finding pride in yourself and who you are, does not discount it in others. I am proud of who I am as a white person, a woman, a mother, a grandmother and a human being. I have never done anything to disrespect anyone and I think it is time that we all start seeing and celebrating the pride in who we are as individuals.

My truth may not be your truth, but it does not make it invalid nor wrong. I pray everyday for the country and all the humans (regardless of color) who live here. Peace and the ability to equally live side by side are the goals, but until then, I pray we all just find some common ground and a place to begin in the here and now. 

Racism, Murder...and White Privilege

I believe that I have stated before, that on my facebook page, I have many different friends and family members as facebook friends. Many of those friends and family hold far different views of everything from politics to views on the world, than I do. Because of this, there is often interesting debates/arguments on my personal fb page by those who don't always agree with my views. Sometimes I engage in the debates and sometimes I just take a pass for my mental health, but I always read each comment. It never fails though, after a heated discussion, there is always someone who will message me and ask me why I don't just unfriend those who are passionately opposed to my viewpoint. The answer is because, I always learn something from them. Yes, there are those who get a bit over zealous and get irritated because I refuse to let their view be mine, but truthfully, I have no stupid fb friends and therefore, I don't have to agree with what they have to say in order to learn from them.

The reason I bring this up is because one of those fb friends that I tend to butt heads with on occasion is one of my first cousins. She and I are close to the same age, but our lives have been vastly different. Other than our mother's being sisters and having some of the same blood coursing through our veins, we have very little in common and yet I find her so very interesting. She was born and raised in New York and that alone makes her view of the world, quite different from this Kansas girl. She is educated and very well traveled and she has seen and done things which my little mid-west heart could only dream of. She is every bit as liberal as I am conservative and at times, that makes us the epitome of oil and water. The funny thing is that I can post all day long about my immediate family, the weather or stupid memes that I find amusing and I hear nothing from her, but the second I post something political or with a viewpoint about something going on in the world (COVID-19, impeachment hearings, the George Floyd murder....you pick) and she usually has posted a comment before my fingers have even left the keypad. I had a friend tell me that they thought her rather rude to only comment on my opinion and not my actual life. On the contrary though, I take that as a huge compliment. She obviously finds my opinion or beliefs, at least interesting enough to comment on. Let's face it, other than my outspoken opinions at times....I'm just not that interesting. 

So yesterday, I made a post about George Floyds murder. Well, I didn't really say much, it was just an article about Officer Derek Chauvin and the other three officers who were fired because of their actions in the case. Now naturally, I think Chauvin and his crew deserved not only to be fired but to be tried and convicted of Mr. Floyds murder. I think this was a despicable act by a police officer(s) that held power over the public and chose to use that power in such a horrendous way. Being from the mid-west though, aside from the fact that I see this as murder, I may have also seen the whole situation in a different light than say someone from Minnesota......or New York. 

After reading about both the arrest and murder and also the victim and the police involved, I saw more than just a case of racism gone very bad. I saw a case of bad cops, who had consistently been bad cops, but who had never been held accountable for their actions. Everything I read, indicated that these men had been reported multiple times and still they had no record, no reprimands and worse, they were still on the streets. At the very least Chauvin should have been fired long ago and likely should have been in jail for his part in another "on the job" murder...and those officers who stood and watched Mr. Floyd's murder should be held just as accountable for his death as the perpetrator. There is obviously a problem within the Minneapolis PD that needs to be addressed and maybe now it will be. So yes, there was likely racism involved, but there was also some internal MPD problems that were allowing bad cops to slip through the cracks with bad behavior, and had theses been addressed sooner, maybe George Floyd would be alive today.

Yes, racism is all over the place and I hate it, but my direct knowledge of it is absolutely non-existent, so maybe that is why jumping to this situation being an act of racism was not my first thought. And this too is why I guess I have always had a problem with the term White Privilege. It always felt to me that this term in and of itself was a bit racist to whites. Yes, I believe that racism is not just towards blacks. Racism flourishes among all races and colors. That being said though, blacks do seem to take the brunt of the hate and disrespect. All in all though, I guess I just never really understood  the term White Privilege. I am white and yet I have never particularly seen myself as privileged. I have always felt that I had to work hard and fight for everything I had and I never saw much privilege in that. Along with that though, my attitude towards blacks has never been one of fear, disrespect or hate either. In fact, I am not much of a color person. I am more inclined to see how someone is through the expressiveness of their eyes, the kindness of their smile and the generosity of their soul which together gives an amazing view into their character. These things mean something to me....skin color does not.

So, my post had not been up long when I saw my cousins name pop up in fb notifications. I wondered before I looked. Surely this would be a topic that her and I, could agree on. After all, how could you not see the video and see it for any less than a murder? Perhaps here is where I should throw in that maybe one way my cousin and I are similar is that we both are very verbal human beings that can be very expressive when we have a point to make. Yeah, there is that family resemblance. To be honest though, when I first saw her comment, I saw the words "White Privilege" and being that it was almost midnight, I decided to leave the post and come back tomorrow (which is now today), when I would likely be more rested. Low and behold, the first thing that popped up when I opened fb today was her comment(s), so I grabbed my coffee and began to read.

Now she began with a nod to Colin Kaepernick's kneeling and racism being the justification for such an act. Honestly, she and I obviously hold very different views on this and we both have our own reasons for it, but that is another blog piece for another day. She then though, started talking about white privilege and after reading her words, for the first time, it made me look at the term "white privilege" a little differently. Perhaps it is where she lives and her personal experiences that she sees white privilege as she does. While I know racism exists even in small town America, I am sure the extent is much greater in New York and other more urban areas in the country. This is maybe why I have never thought too much in depth about WP and all that it implies. My cousin however, took this particular post to spell it out for me.

Granted, the post she made was a copy and paste, but the sentiment struck a chord with me. Racism is alive and well even all these years after a war was fought to end slavery and the racist ideas and attitudes that went with it. White Privilege is also a very real thing. As a white person, I may not have a lot of money, a nice house or a new car, but even if I am a white person living on the street, I do have certain privileges that those of color do not have. No matter what I do, whether it is walk in a nice neighborhood or even hold a gun in my hand, chances are that my actions will be viewed differently than that of a person of color. I can do most anything without anyone giving me a second glance, but people of color are often not afforded that luxury or respect.

Driving a nice car, walking into a convenience store at night, knocking on a door to ask for help when your car won't start, jogging and even going out bird watching.....all normal acceptable things for white people. Sadly though, these same normal activities can get a person of color scrutinized, questioned, arrested and even killed because of the color of their skin and nothing more. Pure and simply, my privilege is that I can do just about anything and no one thinks a thing of it, but those of color must constantly be thinking about what they do and how they do it, so as not to cause suspicion, for so many in this world view people of color as synonymous with criminal, illegal, dangerous, killer......and the list goes on and on. I guess there is something to that whole WP thing and all it takes is a minute to try and put yourself in the shoes of a black person to see this.

My heart goes out to Mr. Floyd's family. His death was senseless and even though I do believe that the issue in this case goes way beyond just racism, I do think that blacks have a reason to be angry. Mr. Floyd's death was not a singular incident and having to fear going out on the streets because of your skin color is horrific. I do not agree with all of the looting and destroying that has been going on in protest of Mr. Floyd's death and after reading about him, I don't think he would be happy with it either. If anything, the riots and looting are taking away from the real issue at the center of all of this and those taking part in it are destroying their own communities and the lives, livelihoods and businesses of innocent people who had nothing to do with Mr. Floyd, the police or the murder.

As I said, I don't understand racism. I believe that God created us all in His image and if we take into consideration where Jesus was born, it is a pretty definite assumption that His skin was much darker than those of us with WP. Until the day we see each other as human beings and celebrate that which makes us alike rather than fight about what makes us different, there will be more Mr. Floyds dying and more Chauvins spreading hate, disrespect and even death and how does that help anyone?

So....my cousin. She and I will likely always be miles apart in our world views. Her heart will beat blue and mine red. What also will not change is that we will both remain passionate on what we believe and speak our minds whenever we feel it necessary. We see the world from our own very different and very distinct vantage points and who is to say which view is right and which view is wrong? At the end of the day though, we are who we are and with an open mind and open heart, we still might have much to learn from each other.

Dear Cousin....thank you for my lesson in white privilege. It is not one I will soon forget.  

GUESS WHAT?

GUESS WHAT?  I literally have got nothing today. I woke up trying to come up with a couple of topics, but I have learned over the years, if the ideas are not organic and don't just pop out at you, then people will read your blog piece for what it is.....forced and unimaginative. This is not to say that even the blogs that do pop out at me don't read a little forced and unimaginative from time to time, but.......

I decided that I MUST blog today, even though the ideas weren't exactly bowling me over because I challenged myself and.....even the forced word is better than no words at all. In light of this thought process, I fell back on an old tried and true trick and decided to just free associate this blog. In other words, whatever comes out....comes out. So hold on to your reading glasses cause this could be interesting for both of us.

Politics.....I despise them. I used to kind of enjoy talking politics. This of course was back before social media and people using their computers and phones to hide behind and degrade others for their opinions. Yes, back in the day I knew very little about politics. I found it very interesting to discuss, listen and learn peoples views from both sides of the coin. Believe it or not, there was a time when people could have a political conversation, be on different sides, listen, respect each others views and walk away friends. Now though.....not so much. I hate it and I find it to be part of the negativity which is wearing on this country. Let's face it.....neither side is much to brag about and political entities in general are not in it for this country. They are in it for the power and sadly, this country was not set up to be a power struggle because when that happens.....we all lose. Case and point....The Civil War. 

Hmmmm.....racism. Yep, it is alive and well in this country and in the last few years, it appears that it has had a pretty nasty recurrence of some of our less than stellar days gone by. My opinion? (Notice I prefaced this by "my opinion"). Anyone and everyone can be racist. I heard the other day that blacks cannot be racist. Yes they can. When they are demanding white people die, if that is not racist then what is it? Regardless of your race, when you wish evil, harm or death on another race, YOU ARE RACIST! And if we don't start leaving the past in the past and start trying to build unity and work towards mutual respect, we are going to be our own undoing. Bottom line, I don't care what color you are or what your ethnic background is. If you listen to me, I will listen to you. If you are kind to me, then I will be kind to you. AND.....if you respect me, then I will respect you. It is just that simple. It is not rocket science. Furthermore.....if we not only treated people in our own country like this, but people from all over the world, my bet is that there would be a lot less hate, anger and war. But that is just my opinion and I am just a housewife from the Midwest......what do I know?

Roseanne.....Lord help us all. I always liked Roseanne. Her comedy was a bit irreverent, but hers was not the only one and apparently for nine seasons no one was too offended by her as hers was always a highly watched show. Evidence of this was her Roseanne reboot that just finished it's ninth episode and was once again highly watched. Her undoing? Social media and her mouth. Now granted, even before social media, Roseanne had no problem voicing her opinion and putting her foot in her mouth. I remember being highly unimpressed when she decided it would be a good idea to get up and mock the National Anthem and yet she survived and it apparently didn't dissuade her audience even a little. Social media though is almost a death sentence anymore for people and careers. It is drunk dialing on a world wide level. People and especially celebrities seem to think their words and opinions are so highly sought after and important, that they can say whatever they want about whomever they want and it will be just fine. Guess what....they are wrong and more than one celebrity has learned this the hard way. I don't care if you are on Ambien, had a 1/5th of vodka or you are just so narcissistic that you think you are bullet proof......keep your outlandish and disrespectful opinions off social media.....unless of course, the unemployment line is your end goal.

#Metoo.....Please stop! Yes! There are women and men that have been harassed, molested and raped and every last one of them deserves justice. However, this campaign has probably set their ability to get justice back a decade. Hollywood has always been a hotbed of casting couches and lecherous directors that wanted their actors and actresses to do more than make a blockbuster movie. In fact there are literally hundreds of autobiographies, biographies and memoirs of actresses who went into the business knowing full well what the expectations were and working that very system all the way to their star on the Walk of Fame. The phrase sleeping their way to the top was coined for a reason. Do I think that some of these claims are real? Absolutely and I think these directors and people in charge need to spend the rest of their lives behind bars. However, what frustrates me is the little actress who either has never quite made it or her name is no longer in the public eye, suddenly coming forth and saying so and so put his hand on her knee back in the 1980's. If it's true, should he have done it? No, but he was likely young and stupid and touching a knee when you are young and stupid while inappropriate, should not be enough to 1) tie up the court system so real cases can't be tried or 2)make this older and hopefully wiser man with a family and a career lose it all over such an incident. I also believe that many of these people that have come forward were more consenting to the actions of the past then they would like to admit. When dollars and fame came into play, I think #metoo lost all of it's power and became something it was never intended to be. Again.....just my opinion and I pray that every woman and man who were legitimately harassed, molested and raped make the bastards that did it to them pay!

Where's Spring?.....Yes. And finally just what happened to the Spring of 2018? It seems that in the same week in April, we were all still wearing parkas with 40 degree temps and north winds wondering if winter would ever end. Then the blessed 70 degree temps hit.......for two days and by the end of the week we were in the 90's. What the heck? Now here in Kansas we have 90's every day with high humidity. It is really doing a number on people with inflammation issues, people who are sensitive to heat and anyone who wants to go outside and not sweat through their clothes. Truthfully I was very sick of winter by April but I wasn't quite expecting summer two months early either. Of course, truth be told, the weather never makes me happy and I complain year round, but come on! Let's face it. This year has been weird country wide.

So there you have it. This is what happens when I've got nothing! ;)

The Beginning of the End

If you look the word "racism" up, the definition is: the belief that all members of each race possess characteristics or abilities specific to that race, especially so as to distinguish it as inferior or superior to another race or races. The definition goes on to say: prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race, culture, ideal or religion based on the belief that ones own is superior. Hmmm.....so by this very definition(s) who among us is NOT racist or at the very least....prejudice? Put your hand down. You are lying!

To be quite honest with you, I am really tired of hearing that because I am white....I am somehow privileged. There is absolutely nothing about my life that would lead anyone to believe that I am privileged. In fact, contrary to what you might choose to believe, I too have been on the receiving end of prejudice more times than I would like to think about. First there was that whole....being born a woman thing. Do you know in the era I was brought up, women were viewed more as possessions than people?! From our first breath outside the womb, we were taught to be housewives and mothers while our brothers were taught to go to college, get a degree and be the bread winners with the jobs and the paychecks. In fact, when I went to college back in the early 1980's, it was still widely believed that if a woman went to college, it was only to get her Mrs. degree and that for a woman to go to college, was a waste of good money.

In my family, my father still believes in the superiority of man over woman and to this day, at my age, even with all the life experience I have had and all I have done on my own since my husband died, my father still believes that I know nothing and am capable of nothing more than cooking and cleaning. I am being seen as inferior both mentally and physically because of my gender. That is prejudice in its ugliest form.

Then of course there is the whole being a Catholic thing. I don't think people truly realize the prejudice there is towards Catholics in this country. In this enlightened age where there is suppose to be tolerance and respect for all religious beliefs in this country, I have been called a heretic, told that I worship idols and have even had parents not let there kids come to my house because they didn't know what kind of "devil worship" was going on in our home. Imagine, I belong to the religion that Jesus Himself created. He in fact ordained the first Pope...St. Peter, and yet my religion has been the source of prejudice my entire life.

And how about those Irish? I am 3/4 Irish and if we are going to look at past hurts, let's look at this. When the Irish first came to this country, they were treated not much better than slaves. We were a disposable race that were given the worst and most dangerous jobs, because quite frankly.....Irish lives DID NOT matter. Add to that the fact that most Irish immigrants were Catholic, and by our very existence we had created one of the most hated races in this country. Funny how no one makes THAT relevant in 2016!

Finally, how about politics? From the moment we state our political beliefs (Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Conservative, Liberal, etc), someone out there is forming an opinion about us. If our political stance is not theirs, likely their beliefs of superiority are taking over and suddenly we somehow become less in their eyes because we do not believe as they do. You know you do this! We ALL do this! You look at that person and say to yourself, "I thought they were intelligent. How can they believe like that?" It is a judgment and quite frankly, most of the time we don't ask them how they believe like that and listen to the answer, we just mentally shut them down and put them in an imaginary box labeled "faulty." If that is not prejudice, then I don't know what is.

To be honest, every person alive has likely dealt with some form of racism or prejudice at some point in their lives whether it was the color of their skin, their ethnicity, their religion or their beliefs. More over, I would also venture to say that every person alive has also been racist and/or prejudice in their lives. Some comes from the way we were raised, some comes from ego and a majority comes from the fact that we assume things about others without knowing the facts. It is the old "Judging a book by it's cover," scenario.

While there has always been racism and prejudice in this country, there have been times when it has been especially bad. Contrary to what you might believe, as I have said, it has not always been just a black racism. There has been prejudice towards Native Americans, Irish, Asians, Christians, Non-Christians, smokers, gays, women, disabled, and the list goes on and on and on. People have been run out of towns, lost their homes, their jobs and even their lives over racism and prejudice and unfortunately instead of learning from our mistakes, we as country just keep the fire burning. Never has this been more prevalent than in the last eight years.

When Barack Obama took office, this world could have been a much different place. Instead, we ended up with a country in more racist and prejudicial turmoil than we have seen since the 1960's. The fact was that many voted for Obama because he was black, which if you think about it, was racist in itself and speaks volumes about where we as a country were at in 2008. You don't vote for someone because of the color of their skin, you vote for them because of their qualifications. In a way though, I understood the excitement of having the first black president ever. People felt it was time that a black person was president. It would finally be the key to showing the world and proving to ourselves that racism was no longer a factor in this country. I understood people voting for him because of the color of his skin. He was a dynamic speaker with a lot of charm and he was black and in this new millennium perhaps it was time. However, he was not the most qualified person for the job and at that moment in time, if we were looking at what was best for the country, his job experience did not yet give him the credentials to be our president. It was because of his background and not his skin color that I did not vote for him, but.....I had hopes that his time in office would season him and he truly might be the hope and change we were looking for. Let's face it, we were in the middle of  a very long war and we were due for something good.

After his first four years, it was evident that like many presidents before him, he had his failings. He was not as effective as people had hoped and there was change, but hope was dying out fast. Had Barack Obama been a white man, I have no doubt he would not have been re-elected in 2012. However, because he was black, he HAD to be re-elected. In fact, the cry was....if you don't vote for Obama....you are racist. Hollywood elite were screaming it, democrats were screaming it and the black community was screaming it. There were people literally afraid NOT to vote for him for fear of some sort of retaliation. He was re-elected, but again it had little to do with what his qualifications. Racism began to rise like a rocket. Riots were breaking out, people were dying in the streets and it was at this time, that the man who was elected for hope and change could have done so much to unite all races and this country as a whole. Instead he chose to divide us. There was no diplomacy, no respect for humans in general, just the constant trench digging of us against them mentality. 

So today, at the end of this long eight years, we have a divide of racism and prejudice in this country that has not been seen in decades. Those who were not voting because of race in 2008 might never be persuaded to vote for a black person again. Instead of looking at each others as human beings, the color of skin is now in the forefront of everyone's minds. The black communities are angry because their anger has been stoked and fueled and words like "death to all white people, " "Black lives matter,"and sentiments of segregation are once again cultural and current topics. It is tragic and if Martin Luther King Jr. were alive today, I am sure it would literally make him weep to see how his dream has turned into such a nightmare.

Has prejudice ever been non-existant in this country? Sadly no. But it was getting better. We were uniting more and more, but the last eight years have set us back to an ugly time with a resurgence of the KKK, the Black Panthers and hate in the heart of many.

Am I prejudice? I would be lying if I said I weren't. I am sure it comes out in little ways, here and there, but truthfully.....I try very hard to never judge anyone by skin color or ethnicity. Judgement is not my job. I look to peoples character; their honesty, kindness, work ethic and how they treat others. I am very prejudice towards someone who hurts their spouse, kids or animals, I have no respect for someone who can work, but refuses and instead chooses to live off the government or others. If you lie to me, I don't care who you are or what color your skin is, we will have a problem. Basically, if you are kind to me.....I will be kind to you. It is just that simple. Race is not important to me.....character is.

So my hope for 2016 and the upcoming election? I hope, no I pray, that whoever takes office be it man or woman, regardless of their skin color or ethnicity, that they are for the people. Not just the white people or the black people but ALL the people. That their goal is to unite us as a country and as a people. I want gone the slogan....."Black lives matter." I want it replaced with, "All lives matter," and with the sentiment that we are all equal under God and our flag. Is this too much to ask? Who knows, but I pray with my whole heart and soul that we come out of these last eight years, wiser and with a desire to be the wonderful country we have always been regardless of race, creed or color....otherwise....we may be looking at the beginning of the end. 

The N-Word and the Headline "Fail" of the Decade

So the truth is, I rarely watch the news anymore. No, I'm not burying my head in the sand, I am simply tired of the negativity. There is no good news and what news there is has gotten so biased that in order to watch it, I feel I have to fact check everything. It is exhausting. That being said, Saturday's I like to write about what is going on in the world so not watching the news means I have to do research. Trust me, there are no shortage of political stories I could write about or Ebola stories or immigration stories, but frankly they have been done to death this week, so I decided to research a little further. I happened upon an article in the New York Post about an article that ran in the WestView News in NY. The headline in the WV News read "A N***** in the White House," referring to current president Barrack Obama. The article was written by James Lincoln Collier who seemed to have been writing this as a pro-Obama piece showing that racism is still alive and well in the world today. Apparently though, people of the West Village and around the country didn't take too kindly to the headline, regardless of Colliers intent.

The n-word. As a child in the last days of segregation, the word was still used but mostly by older people. They also used terms like "boy" referring to a young black man and "negro" referring to the race in general. Like the other n-word, "negro" could be used in a derogatory manner, but when the n-word was used among themselves, blacks didn't seem to find it as offensive as they did hearing it from outside their race. The first time I realized the term was negative was when my mom and I were reading "Huckleberry Finn," a literary classic by Mark Twain. One of the main characters was N***** Jim. Being somewhat socially conscious at the time, my mother took the time to stop and talk to me about the word. She explained to me that I would likely hear that word out in the world and it would be directed at blacks, but it was not a term to describe a race. It was a term to describe an attitude. She said that in her book a n***** was someone who was lazy, worthless and without character and that anyone regardless of skin color could be a n***** if they held those traits, but that it was a bad word that people should not call each other. I sort of understood but I liked the character N***** Jim and I forever hated his name after our talk. I NEVER have nor will I ever use that word to describe another human being.

All this being said, the n-word is just that.....a word. It is no more or less racist than Cracker and I have heard blacks on the news spewing the word "Cracker" and it was simply ignored and life went on. You would think that these words would only have the power we allowed them to have, however....the n-word seems to pack quite a powerful punch to the point of provoking riots, lawsuits and a national tongue lashing from Reverends Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson. So if the word is so degrading and so racist, why do blacks use the term among themselves and called it their word and not ours? I have always wondered this and a few years back I had a young 30 something black man in one of the college courses I took. One day, the conversation turned to the n-word and I asked him why blacks called themselves that. He told me that only the "low class" blacks did that, referring to the bangers and the uneducated or under educated. He said it was more a street/gang word and regardless of what they try to tell the world, it is just as degrading and racist if not more so, when a black man calls another black man the n-word as it is when anyone else does it.
So I asked...."Why do blacks call it their word?"
He just shook his head and said, "It shouldn't be anybody's word with in the modern day definition," and then he went on to talk about when blacks were brought over as slaves. He said the n-word was a common word at the time and used not as a racist term but more as a class term. Blacks were viewed as property and were viewed nowhere near the class of the white man. There were masters (the whites) and n*****s (blacks). It was almost a hundred years later before the term racist became common and the term n***** became the #1 word on the forefront of racism. I then asked him if he was offended by the n-word and he told me that he found it far more insulting to hear blacks calling each other that than he did to hear a white man call a black man that. The reason was, when a white man calls a black man that....then the white man is speaking in ignorance, but when a black man calls another black man that, then he is showing no pride for his race, no respect for himself or his race and no desire to better himself or his race. Then he asked me, how many college educated black men I had ever heard using that word.
When I thought about it, I really couldn't think of any and he shook his head and said....."And you won't, because they are proud, respectable and respectful men. They want to bring their race up not hold it down with self hate and self prejudice."
It was one of the most interesting and educational conversations I have ever had. His goal was to go to law school and then go to Georgia where he had family and practice law there. He said there was a lot of racial ignorance in that part of the world and he wanted to help change that. I have no doubt that he is probably doing that as we speak.

So is racism still alive and well in our country? Yes and I think there has been a strong resurgence in the last few years like this country hasn't seen since the 1960's. I believe there are many reasons for this and a black president is one of those reasons. Having our first black president laid racism wide open. When Obama ran the first term many admittedly voted for him not because they felt that he was the best man for the job but because he was black. Many believed that it was time a black man was president and if you weren't on board with that or possibly questioned whether he was the man (regardless of color) that we needed at the time, then you were viewed as racist. Ever since, that sentiment has only grown stronger and where in the past, you could openly disagree with a president or even say something negative about a president now it is viewed as racist. No one wants to be viewed that way, but people are getting tired of not being able to speak out about something that has nothing to do with the color of the mans skin and everything to do with the kind of job he is doing, for fear of being labeled. In my opinion....racism has become a smoke screen for the current administration to hide behind and it is something that needs to be addressed to ensure the success of another president of a race other than white or even a woman. Credentials are what a presidency should be judged on, not race or sex or any other factors that have nothing at all to do with the job.

Now tell me....is there really a place in modern society for the n-word? Does it add to our culture? Does it make our world a better place? Should it be used for whites to degrade blacks or blacks to degrade each other? No, to all of that. I do not judge a person by the color of their skin but rather the strength of their character and no man can grow strong in character if he is constantly degraded and put down by his own or by others. No.... I am not a fan of Collier's headline, regardless of the intent and while I am also not a huge supporter of the current administration and president, calling him a n***** in print, shows no class and great disrespect not just to the president but to all black people in this country. Colliers article may have been written with the best of intentions, but his headline in my opinion, was nothing but one huge  fail!