Lies! Lies! Lies!

I can't speak for everyone, but one of the things that I personally can't stand is being lied to. It brings on such a feeling of disrespect, not to mention the trust issues it causes. I immediately feel as if I am somehow not worthy of them being honest with me. It's a horrible feeling and it can cause unending problems and issues in a group or relationship. 

The fact is though, we ALL lie! I would even go so far as to say, that there is not one person walking around that hasn't told some form of lie. I say some form of a lie because while all lies are Commandment breakers, I don't believe that all lies are created equal. 

Some lies are premeditated and told with the intent of avoiding a consequence or consequences that the truth might bring or to change a person's perception of another person, place, thing, or issue. Lies can be a way to manipulate, redirect, undermine or even destroy, so they are usually lies with an agenda. These lies are biggies and they can be damaging to relationships and if found out, can destroy everything in their path. 

Other lies are what some may call little white lies (LWL). Now LWL usually aren't premeditated. In fact, they are often told on the spur of the moment, when someone is faced with a question where they either don't want an issue caused that the truth might spark, they don't want to hurt someone's feelings, or they feel as if the truth could be more damaging than a lie. Some might call these altruistic lies, but yes, they are lies nonetheless. 

Then there are the liars. Like lies, not all liars are created equal. There are the liars that will lie about anything and they are good at it. In fact, with this kind of liar, you can almost guarantee that at least 75% of what comes out of their mouths is steeped in some form of dishonesty and if you have to deal with them, you also have to work your way around the land mines of their lies. These liars are exhausting, but often charming to the point that you really want to believe them, even when you know better.  

What is worse than the 75%er though, is the liar that is so good at lying, that they buy into their own lies. Their lies are based on what they want the truth to be and not what the truth actually is. The minute they tell that lie, they literally convince themselves that the lie is now the truth. In fact, they convince themselves so thoroughly, that in some cases, they can pass a lie detector test. This is a scary liar because you are never sure of the truth with them and often this kind of liar suffers from emotional or mental issues that cause them to take solace in or hide behind lies rather than face the truth. They are considered "pathological" and many abusers, criminals, and even serial killers are in fact, pathological liars. 

Finally, there is the liar who is just horrible at it. Yes, they can tell the occasional LWL, but it is with great effort and even greater guilt, If they even attempt a bigger lie though, they usually get caught immediately because of their words, eyes, body movements, and demeanor. Often this liar will admit guilt before anyone is even sure they actually lied. In my humble opinion, if you gotta be a liar, this is the kind of liar to be, because these liars seldom lie at all. It is just too stressful for them.  

The fact is that we all can see ourselves in one of these types of liars and we have also all told one or more of the kinds of lies above. We likely have also gotten caught in a lie and had to live with the consequences of such, and may have even hurt or destroyed someone or something in the process. There is also a tremendous likelihood that we have all been on the receiving end of one of these lies and like it or not, regardless of who told the lie or the intent behind it, chances are great, that we lost a bit of future trust in the liar. The bottom line is that lies never bode well for anyone as the truth always has a funny way of coming out. 

Now, why am I talking about liars today? Your guess is as good as mine. Funny story though, I learned a long time ago, that if I even have an ounce of talent as a writer, that talent is not mine. It did not come from me at all. It came from God and therefore if He gave it to me, then He must have had a purpose and because of that, I try hard to listen to how He might want me to use said talent. Another funny story, I always get my best blog or story ideas in church or when I am out walking, just me, nature, and God. So today, as I was in Mass, I was silent. My heart was talking as there are always things going on in my life and world that I have no control over, so I hand them to God. Sometimes too, what is inside me is so jumbled up that I can't even put it into words, so I sit silently and let God hear my heart and take it from there. While sitting there today, some situations from the past hit me like a ton of bricks. They were distant situations that have a direct effect on the present and what is currently going on in my life. Then it came to me that part of the problem with the past situation is that lies were involved. They were lies told out of frustration and anger and yes.....even resentment. They were lies nonetheless and even though the truths came out long ago, the memories and the damage of the lies have remained to this day affecting everyone involved....thus, part of what I have handed to God. The trip down memory lane left me with two words, "lies" and "liars." The words wouldn't leave me, and before I knew it, I was sitting there writing this blog in my head. This happens more than you would think, and when it does, whether I know why or not, I know that this is what I am supposed to write about ASAP. So where this is going, I have no idea, but I guess by the time I am done, we will all know. 

As bad as lies are, and as much damage as they do, the truth is, we have become so desensitized to lies, lying and liars that we don't always even recognize a lie as a lie, or a liar as a liar. In the world we live in, lies are the norm from government, to the news media,  and from social media to our workplaces and even in our homes. There is not a day that goes by, that if we turn on the tv, our computers or just interact with other human beings, that a lie does not cross our path. In a sad way, we have normalized it and even taken on a rather sick ideal that the truth really doesn't matter if we don't agree with it, or moreover, we can simply change "the truth," to fit our ideology or agenda and then the lie becomes our truth. (Remember the term pathological?) With this kind of thinking, lies become less of a bad thing or a sin, and more of a way of doing business, serving an agenda, and getting by. Justify much? 

So yes, lies were told many years ago. I could say that there were extenuating circumstances, but the fact is, that is just a way of justifying the lies. Looking back, I can't help but wonder how things might have turned out if the lies were never uttered. I know the truth would have caused anger....a lot of anger, and I know that the lies were told in part to avoid that, but regardless of intent, even after the truth came out, the end result was years of feeling betrayed, angry, mistrusting, and an inability to forgive. It left permanent scars on the liar and the one on the receiving end of the lies and today, it still causes ripples of anger and unending issues. 

Looking back, no intent or justification was worth the lifelong damage that the lies cost, and since the past cannot be changed, one can only hope that the lessons involved with all of this, were well learned so that in the future, the past will not be repeated. 

Lies and liars may not all be created equally, but lies are never a good thing and liars always get caught eventually. It sets such precedence that trust shatters, even while lies become acceptable. However, we all know that we can't accept the unacceptable even if we feel that it will change people's minds on something, support an agenda or get someone out of trouble. In the end, the truth will always come out as lies never truly stay hidden, and the fallout is usually far greater than the original truth would ever have been. 

Maybe my purpose in writing this today is to do a little cathartic therapy on my own life and also to put out into the world, that to lie is not just to deceive, but it also damages, even destroys and in the end, can leave us with scars that can never be forgotten and in some cases, never forgiven either. 

So until next time.....I hope you stay peaceful, joyful and that you remember, the worst truth is better than the best lie. 

The Lies Our Media Tell Us

There was a time in my life that I really and truly wanted to be a journalist. I even went so far as to take journalism classes to fulfill that dream. It is funny though that in the course of one semester, I was both enamored with and disgusted by the whole world of journalism due to two very differently taught classes that I took.

I took a class titled simply Journalism. In that class I had a professor who had been a journalist turned teacher. He taught us that there was nothing greater than to be a good and honest journalist. You go where the story leads you and you let the facts tell the story. I remember him saying that no one was there to hear "your" opinion, unless your were writing an editorial or opinion piece. If you were reporting and writing on straight news, then stick to the facts, keep your bias and/or opinion out of it and do your research in order to make the story as factual and honest as you can. He also drilled into us the three sides of every story....yours, theirs and the truth, which usually hung somewhere in the middle.  He emphasized that although "yellow journalism".....that which is biased, misleading or dishonest.....had been around since journalism began and with a few well placed adjectives and a whole lot of bias and dishonesty anyone could be a yellow journalist and sell papers, but for him and other journalists who took pride in their profession and their ethics, there was nothing worse than a journalist without integrity. Sadly though, these types of journalist, with ethics and integrity are becoming as extinct as the dinosaur.

In that same semester I was also taught in a Mass Media class that you went after a story at all cost. The more sensational the story the better and if you could sway your reader with those well placed adjectives....well then all the better. This teacher also espoused the glories of getting in a bereaved parents face after their child had died or going after the most salacious angle of a story that you could find. After all, wasn't it about selling papers and getting people to turn their TV channel to "your" story. In this particular class, facts, ethics and integrity were glossed over for sensationalism and a healthy dose of selling your soul for ratings.

While my journalism professor gave me a huge push to becoming a journalist, my mass media teacher tainted the profession for me and all my dreams of being a true journalist were dead to this girl. I am glad I chose as I did because I am sad to say, my mass media teacher and those like him, obviously had greater pull when it came to forming young up and coming journalists than my professor did and if you don't believe it, then just look at our mainstream media today.

Yesterday, this whole journalism thing was brought back to me as I was reading through facebook early in the morning. There was a story that ran through my news feed over and over again as friend after friend of mine and news outlet after news outlet kept sharing it. The story took place in Washington D.C. over the weekend. This weekend had been the big March for Life Weekend in D.C. and people from all over the country were there to support pro-life and to peacefully protest Roe v Wade. It is a yearly event which draws thousands and includes churches, youth groups, families and individuals. It was however not the only march going on and D.C. was over run with people from all over the country. In the midst of all of this, two marches apparently collided and the media misinterpretation and bias, along with the help of millions on social media who pass news "fake" or otherwise on like it is written in stone showed us all how corrupt the news media truly is and how gullible and unwilling to fact check and how willing to jump on the "hate" bandwagon that most people are these days.

A young man named Nick Sandmann and a group of kids from his Catholic High School in Northern Kentucky were there for the March for Life. Many were wearing "Make America Great Again," hats. They were I am sure full of life, school spirit and the enormity of the crowd likely had an effect on everyone's behavior there. The kids were chanting their schools name and yelling and being kids. Nathan Phillips, an elder of the Omaha Tribe was also there for the Indigenous Peoples March. According to many sources most of those from the Indigenous People's March had already left and only a few remained. Phillips, along with those from his group remaining were also chanting while he played his drum. What happened next was video taped and what was initially put out on social media and picked up by news outlets around the country was very unsettling. We saw Phillips, a war vet still chanting while Sandmann stands almost face to face with him....smiling. It was a short video clip and in it you can see Phillips continue to beat his drum and chant, while a sea of kids seem to surround him shouting their own chants above his.

The headlines and stories that accompanied this video were that Sandmann and his group of school friends surrounded Phillips and tried to bully and intimidate him by chanting racial slurs and closing in on him. Sandmann standing there face to face with Phillips smiling appeared as nothing short of arrogance and intimidation. Much ado was also made about the fact that Sandmann was white, Catholic and of course wearing the MAGA hat. Within hours, the internet was in an uproar and the video had been shared millions of times. People were calling for swift and strict action to be taken against Sandmann and his fellow students. Memes were being made brutalizing these kids and Sandmann's smiling face was seared into all of our brains. Sandmann's high school as well as the state of Kentucky, trying desperately to get ahead of this embarrassing and completely damning video were already denouncing Sandmann and his classmates and promising the possibility of expulsion for all of them.

I will admit, that the video was not pretty to watch and I contemplated writing a much different blog on it, but there were a few things bothering me about it and as I sat in church they kept coming back to me. The first thing that bothered me was the fact that Phillips, being elderly and having several of his own people still there, that they were not surrounding him and protecting him from these "bullying" teenagers. I know darn well that if I were with a group and this was happening to someone elderly in my group, I would be protecting him, not just standing by and watching it happen. And yes, why if this situation was as contentious as the stories said, were people video taping instead of stepping in to stop the intimidation and disrespect. Finally, in the original story it stated that there were 60-70 students in this group who were viewed as the culprits. That part is likely true as you can see many there. If that is the case then they were obviously there with chaperones. You don't let a bunch of high school kids room free in a place of thousands where you risk losing one. So why were those chaperones not jumping in and stopping this. You know there was at least one adult there. So yes....this all had me asking questions and I decided that before I wrote anything, I would do some fact checking. Thank God in what seems like a sheeple kind of world, I was not the only one with questions.

By late morning, other videos with an alternate view and story came to light. Apparently there was more than one person in attendance with a cell phone and these videos answered at least a few of my questions. In this new video, you see Sandmann's group chanting and being excited kids, while Phillips and his group were at a distance. Then you see some others who were obviously triggered by the kids MAGA hats and they started egging the situation on as Phillips started moving through the crowd towards the kids. It was Phillips in fact and not the kids who fueled this situation and it was Phillips who came face to face with Sandmann and not the other way around. I am sure it was unexpected to have an elderly man coming face to face with you with what looked to be the intent of intimidating a bunch of kids, while people in the crowd are cheering him on. Yes, Sandmann smiled because what else could he do? If he was truly a disrespectful bully as the first video claimed him to be, he would not have just stood there and smiled.....knowing teenagers.....he would have been running his mouth and firing back.....but he didn't. He merely stood there smiling. 

On viewing both videos, the whole thing made me sick. It made me sick because these kids who were there became the poster children of hate in the span of just a few hours. This version of the story told by the one who videod it in the first place, then had it perpetuated by the media and then further sold as gospel by millions on social media caused unnecessary and unfair embarrassment to the state of Kentucky, to the high school these kids were from, to the Catholic Church, to the other pro-life marchers there, to their chaperone, families and most of all, to the kids themselves. And because the internet is forever, this can cause the kids involved and most especially Sandmann, difficulty in getting a job, going to college and even out in the world.....and why?

Were these kids really being disrespectful and hate filled or were they simply being hyper, excited kids at a huge event away from home? Where they targeted because they were white? Because they were wearing MAGA hats? Because they were there to support pro-life? Because they were wearing clothes with their Catholic high schools insignia on it? My guess and from what I saw on the latter videos, the crowd was actually triggered by their hats. Sad.

Were these kids perfect, I am sure not but they were obviously not the instigators of this situation nor the hateful and intimidating bullies either. Who knows, maybe the kids were chanting "Make America Great Again," or "Build that Wall". So what if they were though, it is their right under the constitution and you don't have to like it but as American's we all have to support it, just as it's others right to chant "Impeach Trump", to wish him dead on national TV and to make fun of him on every late night show and sitcom. You may not like it, but as American's you have to support their right to say it. But how about we also hold the adults including Phillips and the ones egging the situation on, responsible for their parts in this situation. Did Phillips not fight a war so that people can wear any hat they want and chant anything they want? I think there was a whole lot of disrespect going on there that day and it doesn't sit only on the shoulders of Sandmann and the other kids there.....and if you watch all the videos, the facts don't lie.

So  honesty and ethics no longer walk hand in hand with journalism and it is getting more and more evident at the biased turn our news continues to take. When you have to fact check the news before you can decide whether it is true or not (and we are talking CNN, FOX and all the rest) then we have hit an all time low in yellow journalism. Of course though, part of the blame falls on us. We are so weak of mind anymore that things we would never have believed or fallen for 20 years ago, we pass along as gospel today without a seconds thought. The media has so much control that we as a country would willingly see a kid or kids expelled from school and possibly ruin their future without even bothering to check a fact.  And often when the facts are laid out in front of others, they choose the story which fits their agenda over the truth every time. That folks is on us.

Until next time