To Grudge or De-Grudge

With the New Year upon us....I am trying to develop new attitudes (because apparently it has been established that mine is sh!tty), new ways of thinking about old issues, and most of all...letting go of much of what stresses me on a day to day basis. Why? Because that day to day stress is why I am blogging at almost 12:30 a.m. instead of sleeping.

As I said in my New Years blog....my only resolution this year was to let God lead, so I am not sure if this new attitude...etc. stuff is happening because I am turning things over to God or if by turning things over to God....this is all happening. Confusing isn't it? Yep....this is what goes through my mind when I should actually be sleeping.

One part of the attitude change (I am sure you will be hearing about more parts later) is the the letting go of past hurts. If you ask me straight out if I held grudges or was mad at anyone.....I would lie through my teeth and say...."no of course not." It wouldn't be a deliberate lie....it would simply be a "at the moment" lie....meaning at that moment no grudges or anger would come to mind. However....give me a sleepless night or have someone who at some point in my life I feel has wronged me, turn around and tick me off again.....and believe me...the anger boils and my grudge holding becomes something legends are made of.

Luckily....there are only a handful of people that I can honestly say have offended me in my life to the point of grudge holding and out of those....only a couple of those people do I hold grudges that might be therapy worthy. I can also say that in my past I have held more grudges than I currently do and whether it was because of prayer, disinterest, or just the fact that with the passing of time I simply can't remember what happened or why I was mad.....those grudges are no more and I am at peace with the people they concerned. Sadly though....there are still those that I have as yet not been able to let go of.

Probably the worst grudges I still hold are those involving family.....and one member in particular. This person truly knows so little about who I am now as opposed to many years ago when this whole thing started...and honestly from my adult perspective in the here and now...I could care less what this persons opinion of me is.....until they open their mouth to speak ill of me. Then I care. It makes absolutely no sense and I can go for months and even years and never think about the anger....and then all it takes is one careless word from this individual and my anger shoots to the surface and every past unkind word or action this person ever pushed in my direction feels as raw as if it happened today.

Family are not the only ones who have the hidden wrath of my grudges. There are a few men from my past who have caused me pain and who if they crossed me today might not like the results of those actions. Again....I never dwell on the past.....but in weak moments I can still lie awake at night and plot uncarried out revenge on those who I feel deserving.

Finally one individual I hold a horrible grudge towards is someone who used to be a friend. There are not a lot of people that I have high amounts of respect for or that I look up to. This person I did. One day though, it was as if the world changed and this person unloaded on me, my children and everything about my life. When it happened I confronted the situation head on and was apologized to profusely. Because of the regard I held for this person....I did let it go, but it happened again. Again my child was drug into it as was how I lived my life both physically and spiritually and this time if felt like a total and very personal attack. Again....I dealt with it head on....but I felt as if it fell on deaf ears. To make things worse....I was discussed by this person to many people (not that any of them cared one way or another) but I did. Now....every time I see this person, I want to declare war and have an all out verbal battle in front of the world. Mature....right? I think the reason I have such anger towards this individual is because I thought so highly of this person and believed them to be somebody or something they weren't. Maybe my anger is more at my own naivety than at the actual circumstance.....although the actual circumstance was pretty crappy.

There are a few others who whether they realize it or not (most do) that I hold grudges of varying degrees towards. And what is bad is I feel petty and immature feeling this way....not to mention how I must sound, but it is simply the way I feel. My late husband always used to say, "you are gonna feel the way you feel....until you don't feel that way anymore." In theory this is true, but in reality.....I feel like I need to push the process of NOT feeling this way anymore along.

I am not sure just how to de-grudge myself. I know it has a lot to do with letting go and forgiving. I am just not sure how to do either of those things in these particular situations. I guess this is just something else that I need to allow God to take the lead with....but for me....that is just so much easier said than done. But that doesn't mean I won't give it the old college try. After all....it would be such a nice feeling not to feel anger towards anyone.....even if they did act or say something that was unkind or hurtful.

Yes....forgiveness would be a wonderful thing. But then again.....without my grudges, whatever would I do at night without my revenge to plot???? Oh yeah......sleep!

Excellent Home Remedies

 Got this off another blog which I like to read. Since the blogger got this from another blog she likes to read....I didn't figure she would be to upset if I shared! :)

A sealed envelope - Put in the freezer for a few hours, then slide a knife under the flap. The envelope can then be resealed. (hmmmmmm..) ==========
Use Empty toilet paper roll to store appliance cords It keeps them neat and you can write on the roll what appliance it belongs to. I've done this for years, and years, and years!!
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For icy door steps in freezing temperatures: get warm water and put Dawn dish washing liquid in it. Pour it all over the steps. They won't refreeze. (wish I had known this for the last 40 years!)
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To remove old wax from a glass candle holder, put it in the freezer for a few hours. Then take the candle holder out and turn it upside down. The wax will fall out.
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Crayon marks on walls? This worked wonderfully! A damp rag, dipped in baking soda. Comes off with little effort (elbow grease that is!)..
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Permanent marker on appliances/counter tops (like store receipt BLUE!) rubbing alcohol on paper towel.
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Whenever I purchase a box of S.O.S Pads, I immediately take a pair of scissors and cut each pad into halves. After years of having to throw away rusted and unused and smelly pads, I finally decided that this would be much more economical. Now a box of S.O.S pads last me indefinitely! In fact, I have noticed that the scissors get 'sharpened'' this way!
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Blood stains on clothes? Not to worry! Just pour a little hydrogen peroxide on a cloth and proceed to wipe off every drop of blood. Works every time! (Now, where to put the body?) LOL
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Use vertical strokes when washing windows outside and horizontal for inside windows.... This way you can tell which side has the streaks. Straight vinegar will get outside windows really clean. Don't wash windows on a sunny day. They will dry too quickly and will probably streak.
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Spray a bit of perfume on the (COOL) light bulb in any room to create a lovely light scent in each room when the light is turned on.
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Place fabric softener sheets in dresser drawers and your clothes will smell freshly washed for weeks to come. You can also do this with towels and linen.
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Candles will last a lot longer if placed in the freezer for at least 3 hours prior to burning.
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To clean artificial flowers, pour some salt into a paper bag and add the flowers. Shake vigorously as the salt will absorb all the dust and dirt and leave your artificial flowers looking like new! Works like a charm!
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To easily remove burnt on food from your skillet, simply add a drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of pan, and bring to a boil on stove top. (They say a dryer sheet works for this too)
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Spray your TUPPERWARE with nonstick cooking spray before pouring in tomato based sauces and there won't be any stains.
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Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks. This works with cheese too, I do that one!
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When boiling corn on the cob, add a pinch of sugar to help bring out the corn's natural sweetness!
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Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half, and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
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To get rid of itch from mosquito bites, try applying soap on the area and you will experience instant relief.
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Ants, ants, ants everywhere ... Well, they are said to never cross a chalk line.. So, get your chalk out and draw a line on the floor or wherever ants tend to march. See for yourself.
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Use air-freshener to clean mirrors. It does a good job and better still, leaves a lovely smell to the shine.
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When you get a splinter, reach for the scotch tape before resorting to tweezers or a needle Simply put the scotch tape over the splinter, and then pull it off. Scotch tape removes most splinters painlessly and easily.
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Now look what you can do with Alka Seltzer...... Clean a toilet. Drop in two Alka Seltzer tablets, wait twenty minutes, brush and flush. The citric acid and effervescent action clean vitreous China

Clean a vase. To remove a stain from the bottom of a glass vase or cruet, fill with water and drop in two Alka Seltzer tablets.

Polish jewelry. Drop two Alka Seltzer tablets into a glass of water and immerse the jewelry for two minutes.

Clean a thermos bottle. Fill the bottle with water, drop in four Alka Seltzer tablets, and let soak for an hour (or longer, if necessary).

Unclog a drain. Clear the sink drain by dropping three Alka Seltzer tablets down the drain followed by a cup of Heinz White Vinegar.. Wait a few minutes, and then run the hot water.

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Do your friends a favor. Pass this timely (and some not-so-timely) information on to a friend! I just did. Makes you wonder about ingesting Alka Seltzer, doesn't it?

The Art of Being Sh!tty or Hopeful Insanity

I have mentioned several times recently both in conversation and with written word, that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again......expecting different results. I think I might also have mentioned that YES.....I am probably very much insane.

I don't have the issue of repeating my negative actions in any area other than with my children. It appears that in all other walks of life (for the most part) I have learned my lesson and try not to repeat my mistakes. However...with my children....time and time again I find myself doing the same thing over again. I won't say that I "expect" different results......but each time......I am hopeful that things may take a better turn than the time before.....and each time.......I am proven to be one insane individual.

I am currently living with yet another attempt at "hopeful insanity." The details yet again I will not bore you with......mostly because this time.....I don't come out looking so good. Anyone who hasn't learned from their repeated attempts of giving second, third and 55th chances not only looks bad to others.....but should also be wearing WELCOME across their forehead! The first step is admitting it......right?!

Okay.....where was I? Oh yeah, anyway.....while in the midst of my hopeful insanity, He Whom I Will Not Name....suggested to me ever so impolitely yesterday that I (me) had a sh!tty attitude. What??? Me???? Having an attitude that is less than pleasant anytime? What the heck was he talking about?  He went on to say that he felt he could not carry on a conversation with me because my attitude was not sunny and glowing all the time. Hmmmm. Really?

Now I know that I have absolutely no need to explain myself or my actions to anyone. Especially not someone who has proclaimed to be a "grown ass man" many times over the years but still cannot manage to pay his own bills or find a ride to work. Still though....he caught me off guard and I began to feel the need to explain why perhaps sunshine was not always illuminating from every orifice of my body. Damn.....immediately by me trying to explain myself he realized I might be feeling guilty about my lack of sunniness and thus he went on to elaborate on how crappy my attitude was....telling me that "everyone has problems" but why is it okay for me to have an attitude about them. Damn again......he was using my own words towards him towards me and taking them out of context. The boy was good.

The whole time he was talking I was trying to think of exact incidents where I had been truly sh!tty recently. I really couldn't think of any. Upon relaying this to him.....his reaction was that of total disbelief followed by....."you really don't remember how sh!tty you have been?" It was about this time that the sarcasm (which I speak fluently) began flying off my tongue. Was I being sh!tty when I gave him a ride because he wrecked his car and now has no transportation, or perhaps it was when I was feeding him because he has no money for anything except for paying fines, or no maybe it was when I "gave" him a cell phone and am paying the bill so that he has some form of communication?! His reaction to all of this? "See....there you go again being sh!tty!" Arrrrrrgggggg

The internal hemorrhaging that I seemed to by pass the other night.....well I think it began last night. What does it mean when your head throbs and you have pain in your chest? Oh yeah....it means you have KIDS!

Controllable Chaos

Yesterday I did nothing. No.....literally.....I did nothing. Well....actually I watched old episodes of The Nanny....but other than that....nothing! It was peaceful and a much needed break. Today...I went to church, went to Wal-Mart....and then again did nothing. Well...I did take a much needed nap, but other than that....well you know.

I guess that was my reprieve before life began to hit me full force again. Maybe it was God's way of giving me the strength to handle yet another little glitch in Lisaland. Perhaps it worked.....as when this glitch hit me........my head did not explode, nor did I set my hair on fire and run into the street screaming. Maybe though...and this is probably a more likely scenario....I am just getting tired. Tired of dealing with that which should not have to be dealt with.

I have tried desperately (usually to no avail) to get my kids to understand that life is a tricky thing. There are so many things that happen that we simply have no control over. Some of those things are good, but all too often they are things which are trying, sometimes soul wrenching and many times.....things that test us both as parents and as humans. So with all the unexpected and uncontrollable that is thrown at us....WHY must they (my children) do things that cause "controllable" chaos?

The controllable chaos that I am referring to usually has to do with poor judgment and bad choices which end up causing my natural hair color to become gray and me to begin twitching uncontrollably. It also means that I usually have to end up questioning my parenting skills (which were already questionable at best to begin with) and then there is the whole "trust" issue that I have to deal with (mine not theirs!) At any rate.....we always end up having the same conversation that starts with the word...."WHY?"

I had such hopes for this new year. Well okay....maybe I wasn't naive enough to think that the whole year would go by without chaos, but I did believe we might make it through the first weekend without incident. Silly me!

I won't bore you with the details because 1) it was poor judgment and a bad choice all rolled into one and the child responsible would come out looking REALLY bad.....and 2) I have hashed and rehashed the situation this evening until I can't hash it again. Suffice it to say though....nothing remotely fun or entertaining will be happening in my house for quite sometime to come. It is times like this when I understand fully why my mother grounded me for life on a couple of occasions.

Well...truth be told....this incident too shall most likely pass and I am trying with all my heart to let go and let God. In fact I would have been perfectly happy to have allowed God to step in tonight and do the lecturing and the grounding.....but obviously He left that part up to me. So I did my best to handle it in away which would not require me to have to go to confession next week.

So now....all is quiet in Lisaland once again and my child is very happy that he was allowed to go to bed with all his parts in one piece. I do think he learned from the whole situation  and I was successfully able to handle it all without having an internal hemorrhage. I am sure the whole twitch thing will be gone soon and hopefully now.........we can keep controllable chaos at bay....for at least another day or two!

Gifts

"What we are is God's gift to us. What we become is our gift to God"......Mother Teresa.

I went to Mass this morning and Father reminded us of the above words of Mother Teresa. What a profound woman she was.....and....how right she always seemed to be.

These words say so much. For those that know we are created by God...also know what a gift our lives, our health, and our ability to "be" are. And to each of us in varying degrees, God also bestowed talents. Whether they are obvious talents such as singing, cooking, or amazing creativity.....or whether they are less conspicuous such as wisdom, unfailing kindness, or quiet compassion for those and the world around us.....they are there.

Each of us is born a clean slate with the ability to live our lives to the very fullest with the "talents" God has given us. We all have the potential for great good. We also have the potential for great evil. It is merely how we "choose" to use the gifts we are given as to how much we will grow and in what direction we will take those gifts....and I have no doubt will be a deciding factor in where we may end up spending eternity.

We have all known someone with amazing talent who chooses either to use it for selfish and/or self serving reasons or uses that talent to grow in ways that are neither productive, healthy, or in the end soul flourishing. We also have all known someone who seems to have no "real" talents and yet they live their lives joyfully, kindly, and treat each day.....as the gift that it is. I can only imagine that it is those who go through life helping when possible, giving when they see need, and laughing and loving as much as they can, that give God great joy and make Him feel as if the gifts He originally bestowed were not in vain.

At any rate....I thought Fathers reminder of Mother Teresa's words today was both necessary and directional....reminding us of what we have been given and nudging us to make positive change in this new year.

We all have been given a great gift in this life. Perhaps this should be the year that I live my life in a way that both honors the gifts I have been given....and maybe..... just start becoming a worthy gift to God.

Happy Sunday and God Bless you all!

2011...Bring it on!!!!!

In keeping with all that is "normal" in my life.....2010 did not leave before causing a bit of chaos in my home. David had a couple of mini seizures (one resulting in a black eye)....therefore my plans of going out for New Years Eve....quickly became staying in. Luckily if my last few years have taught me nothing else....they have taught me to be able to change gears quickly and go with the flow. That is just what I did last night. The boys and I ordered in our favorite burgers and we vegged on the couch watching The Twilight Zone marathon....all while I was able to keep my eye on David and make sure we didn't need to make one last run to the ER in 2010. Thankfully....we didn't. I was also able to catch up with friends via text and the phone and all in all....although a bit of a bumpy night....2010 left fairly peacefully.

Since last nights events didn't really allow me to drift off into peaceful slumber until well after 3 a.m., 2011 has started a little later than I like with a little less enthusiasm than I had hoped for. Still and all though....the sun is shining, David appears to be bruised but fine....so I guess it is not a bad way to get this new year started.

As I write this I think of all the things I should be doing to prepare my life and my house for the new year.....especially when this next week is going to be a whirlwind both at work and at home, but somehow....I am content for now, just to sit and write.

Looking at my calendar....2011 will be filled with some fairly significant events....not the least being the fact that this year closes out a rather trying decade in my life. It also erases ALL excuses for "bad" behavior and opens the door for new opportunities and much better choices. I hope to take advantage to the fullest of all of it.

The new year also starts some (what I feel) are new and exciting changes at work. I was fortunate enough to get to be brought into the first year of a new store front business. I have been there for about 8 months and now we are expanding and implementing new practices....all which I get to have a hand in. It is really something I am enjoying.

Another new event which I am looking forward to is a participation in a new non-profit being started by some friends of mine. It is called Waiting-Place. It is to benefit many charities having to do with health related issues such as Lymphoma, Lupus, Cerebral Palsy, etc. People donate per a persons medical visits requesting that the money per visit goes to research for that particular disease. An example would be if someone wanted to give to the Cerebral Palsy Foundation for research in David's name. I would put on a calendar all his dr. visits having to do with his CP and someone can donate "x" amount of dollars per dr. visit to CPF. Nothing is worse than waiting in a waiting room to see a dr. for a chronic illness. Waiting-Place though helps to make those waits worth while.

My first love (next to writing) is event planning and I have been asked to help with some events to get  Waiting-Place both recognized and funded and to help put them on the non-profit map. To me this is exciting, ground breaking.....and just tons of fun. Not to mention it will be helping many people get many much needed dollars put into research for their particular health issue. Believe me....I expect you will be hearing much more from me on this part of my life throughout 2011.

So you see....if you add work, my cheesecake making, Waiting-Place and my everyday life at home all together.....it appears that 2011 is going to be both busy and exciting. 

I know this is the time of year where everyone starts setting goals and making resolutions for the new year, but the one thing I have learned about myself over the years is.....I am tremendous at making goals and resolution......but lousy at keeping them. So this year....I only have one true resolution. My "real" resolution for 2011 is to turn this year over to God. This is not to sound preachy or "uber" Christian, it is simply this: I have tried to be in control and call the shots for many years now.....and I know how that has worked out for me....(many times....NOT WELL!) So rather than try the same thing this year....expecting different results (also the definition of insanity might I add).....I am going to try something different. I am going to just simply let God lead. When in doubt....I will pray. Catch me at the end of 2011 and I will let you know how it has all worked out.....(like you won't hear about it all year long anyway! lol)

So this is how I am starting my year. No outlandish or unachievable goals, a simple out line of what is coming up calendar wise in my future, and a heart ready to go wherever God chooses to take me.

I guess all that is left to say is.......2011...Bring it on!!!!!

Retrospectively.....2010!

Another year is at its end. WOW! This year came and went with the speed of an Indy Racer. Years are tending to do this more frequently the older I get. I have told people for several years now that my life only has two specific times of year....summer and Christmas. Those are the only two times in my year that seem to catch my attention and make me feel as if the year hasn't completely bull dozed me over.

I have heard so many people this year say they can't wait for 2010 to end. For many it has been a year of loss, financial insecurity, heartache, and just down right unpleasantness. I myself have lived through most of those, but if people are honest....no devastating act happens without blessings also being involved. My mom always used to tell me....something good always comes out of everything bad, and you know.....as usual....she was right.

This year (as in most years I guess) has been a bag of mixed blessings. The hard things and the sad things that I went through seem to jump out when I think of this year. I have truly struggled financially, but the first part of the year for me was a doozie. Not a night did I go to bed and not wonder if I was going to be able to make ends not even meet....but at least arrive in the same vicinity of each other from week to week.

I grieved the loss of my older son. He was not dead, but he was no longer a part of our lives. He had chosen a life of drugs that I could not save him from. I had to let go and let God...and as any mother knows....that is the most difficult thing in life to do where your children are concerned. 

I watched my youngest fight a nasty battle with seizures and spent a great deal of my summer in either the ER or the hospital with him. I spent many an hour praying for an answer and a solution and had to come to the realization that this might very well be our lives for a long time to come...if not permanently.

I had to stand back and watched friends, family and friends who were as close as family suffer. I watched several friends find lumps in their breast and suffer through first the not knowing and then later for some.....the knowing. You pray for them and try to be there for them....but always in the back of your mind you know that the next lump found might be yours.

I became very attached emotionally through fb to a little cousin whom I have never met. He battled a fairly rare form of brain cancer for not the first time....but the second time. At four he put up a brave battle and thanks to his mother and grandma.....those who knew and loved him and those who only knew of him and grew to love him got to be apart of this special young mans life. When his mother posted news of his death.....I cried. It was not just a few tears here and there....it was a flood gate of tears let loose that I had not cried in years. The sadness I felt was almost unbearable at that moment....and yet nothing compared to what his parents and brother must have been going through. It was a moment I will never forget.

I watched several friends struggle in relationships. The upheaval of years, mistakes, misunderstandings and miscommunication toook its toll and caused in some cases.....unfixable divides.

The worst situation which I had to stand by and feel helpless in, was the loss of a woman who in many ways had been a surrogate mother to me over the years. Her children were my dearest friends and over a period of months I watched worry and sadness, sometimes even anger and frustration creep into their faces and hearts as their mother didn't recover from a surgery she should have easily come back from. She grew increasingly week, ill and immobile and they ended up losing her on Thanksgiving and having to spend their first Christmas ever without her. Watching their pain, mixed with my own emotions over the loss of yet another person I loved did not make for an easy holiday season for anyone involved.

In my home we dealt with mono, the worst case of the flu any of us had had in years, growing pains, high school angst, young love, family tiffs, a horrendous checking account error, an oven door falling off, a ceiling leak,  and all the other day to day minor catastrophe's that happen in the place that I fondly call....Lisaland. On the surface....who could blame me for wanting to escort 2010 out in a rush with the hopes that 2011 had something much better to offer?

The truth is....there is two sides to every coin (another of my mom's favorite sayings). The financial worries and miscalculated bank funds were definitely no fun, but the upside was I had a dear friend step in and help me sort out the financial mess. Together we got it all down on paper and got headed in the right direction to fix that which felt unfixable. I was also presented with a job opportunity which worked around sick kids, trips to the ER/hospital, and other varied family crisis. It got me out of the house on a daily basis and introduced me to a wonderful boss and co-workers. It was a true blessing. Then there was the surprise of my cheesecakes becoming a small business of sorts. Thanks to my family and close friends who were already occasional customers spreading the word about my cheesecakes....and a couple of Facebook posts about my making cheesecakes.....the next thing I knew I was actually making quite a few cheesecakes. Then a wonderful friend put a good word in for me and my cheesecakes at a local restaurant and before I knew it....."they" were ordering from me. It was simply amazing!

Speaking of amazing and friends......I have many amazing friends in my life. This year I have been blessed beyond words. I have a friend who has become my cheesecake biz savior. He has made me a website (www.thecheesecakechick.biz), sent me tools and supplies to help the marketing end and who has spread the word far and wide about my cheesecakes. I have another set of friends who knew that the computer I was using was on its last leg. Suddenly out of the blue.....I was blessed with a new computer delivered to my home. Again....the word amazing comes to mind.

Then there was that little financial checking account error I have referred to. It is amazing what the misplacement of a zero or two can do to cause a ripple effect of bank charges and overdrafts. That and forgetting to pay a bill because your son is in the hospital and then getting your power turned off and a $150 charge to get it turned back on....on top of the bill that was owed.....well that can make you want to run screaming into traffic. However.....I have some very awesome friends who went out of their way to take up a collection for me and make sure all was taken care of. Some of these friends I have never even met face to face....only through Facebook.....but they were generous beyond words and their generosity will never be forgotten. 

Finally in the friend department.....there are those who are just always there. There is the one who fixed my bathroom ceiling when the leak ruined it and who always comes when I need him whether it be a house repair, a new counter top, or to move something in or out of my house. The two who always have my back....regardless of what I do or how I do it; the one who showed up at the hospital not once but twice at a moments notice to make sure I wasn't alone; the one who dropped everything to pick us up from the hospital when we didn't have the car; the one who fixed my unfixable oven door; the one who fixed my mower; the one who tried to fix my other mower; the ones who built me a ramp so David could get easily in and out of the house; the one who takes such wonderful care of David after school; the one who doesn't live close....but always seems to be there when I need him; the ones who live in TX and I miss on a daily basis;  and finally all those who pray for me when I need it and laugh and joke with me when I need that too. Yes....in the friend department....I am so blessed.

In many other ways....2010 has had it's positives. David has had a wonderful school year so far and is progressing beautifully. Zachary was in his first high school musical. I got to sit in the audience and watch my son do something he loved. Then I got to turn around and watch him preform his first solo on stage. It was wonderful and made my heart sore. I was so proud.

I was finally able to mend fences with my older son and watch him start to turn his life around. I was also to a point where I was able to take the relationship with him in baby steps and not throw my whole heart under the bus at once.

I joined both Weight Watchers and a gym. As of today I have lost 25 lbs. and my blood pressure and cholesterol are both perfect.

I made new friends this year, reconnected with old friends and became closer to those in my life who are always there.

Finally I realized just the other day that as 2010 leaves me.....so does a pretty rough decade in my life. It was the year 2000 that David was born prematurely, 2001 that my dear husband Tim died, and 2002 that I lost my wonderful mother. The years since haven't been much to brag about either. So maybe.....it is time for a new decade.....and with it.....some joy, laughter, love and peace.

Someone asked me the other day what my new years resolution for 2011 is. I jokingly said...."to stay out of ER's and hospitals!" I think though....my resolution for 2011 is.....to be happy! Maybe that is a resolution that I won't break.

So to all my family and friends and to all those who read my blog......I wish you all much laughter, much love and great peace in 2011!

Happy New Year to all!