You Might Be From the Wichita Area If................

Today I heard......someone talking about Kellogg Street/Highway 54. They asked if there was always construction on it? I did a double take as I figured this person was either very young or a transplant from another city. I believe the latter was correct. Then I got to thinking......even though the majority of my life has been spent in a small town south of Wichita, I lived in Wichita long enough and worked and traveled to Wichita enough times....to know that there are certain things people from Wichita and the surrounding area just know. I thought I would share some of them. If you are from the area, check my work and tell me if I am right (cuz I will be!) and if you are new here or haven't visited the area....you just might learn something about our fair city.

You might be from the Wichita area if:

you know that Wichita's world wide claim to fame used to be.....that we were the breadbasket of the world (we grew lots of wheat) and the air capital of the world (we used to make lots of planes).

you know what the old Dockum's Drug Store lunch counter has to do with national history.

you remember when the Stockyards were open and had an amazing restaurant.

you remember when there was almost nothing north and east of Rock Road and 13th streets.

you know what the Nifty Nut House is.

you remember Louie the Clown at Joyland.

you ever skated at Joyland, Carousel, Skate East or Skate South.

you know what Steffan's was.

you ever dragged Douglas on a Friday or Saturday night.

you remember hanging out at Pogo's, Backstage, Bubba Rocks or the Flicker.

you ever went to a movie at the Meadowlark Drive-in.

you know what BTK stands for and it used to scare the bejeezers out of you.

you ever ate at Angelo's Italian Restaurant.

you remember shopping at Cricket Alley in the Harry Street Mall.

you remember the KAKE TV noon time show Kaleidoscope being shot at Towne East Mall.

you remember  Henry Harvey.

you watched Santa's Workshop daily from the day after Thanksgiving until his Christmas Eve take off .

you remember Major Astro.

you know who Blackbear Bosin is.

you have actually been to Cowtown.

you remember when the city zoo was at Riverside park.

you know what Vickeridge, Eastborough and College Hill are.

you remember David's.

you ever shopped at Hinkles, Henry's or Lewins.

you ever went to the Crest theater.

you remember Jim O'Donnell.

And finally......you might be from the Wichita area if................


you know that never ever in your lifetime will there NOT be construction on Kellogg.

Lupus and Auto-Immune Diseases

To Like or Not to Like..... It is dangerous to catch me on days like this. I am very ambivalent as to whether I actually like anything or not, so I am going to go with my gut instinct and go with a Not!

I have talked to no end on how much I not only do not like....but actually despise cancer. The very mention of the word causes me to almost hyperventilate and keel over. However, there is another disease(s) that I feel almost as strongly about. Lupus! For those of you who maybe don't know what Lupus is, it is one of a number of auto-immune diseases that can strike a person and over time dibilitate them. Unlike cancer where it is fairly obvious about what you have and then can be treated to some extent and even cured.....Lupus and auto-immune diseases are not quite as easily recognized and diagnosed or treated.

In the auto-immune categories are not only Lupus and it's variations but there is also rheumatoid arthritis, scleroderma, raynauds, fibromyalgia and the the list goes on and on. These are all diseases which live under the auto-immune umbrella and someone can have symptoms of just one, a few or all of them. These diseases are often hard to diagnose in the early stages and the person dealing with them often gets looked on as a hypochondriac or a complainer.....even by doctors. Often a person suffering with an auto-immune disease can go undiagnosed for a period of time...even years before the true culprit is found and even once it is felt that it is auto-immune, it is hard to know which disease they are dealing with. So the person suffers, often feeling like the symptoms are in their head and they go untreated. It is a living hell for the person.

My mother began showing signs of Lupus in her early to mid 20's. At the time no one really knew what it was. Hers started with an external rash on her arms that she had to keep covered at all times. It eventually spread to her face and on both cheeks she had a purplish rash which at night she would scratch until it bled. By the early to mid 1960's she had found a doctor who had been studying Lupus in its early stages  who gave her the diagnosis. She was put on the anti-malaria drug Plaquenil. She took that for the rest of her life. In 1968 Mom got pregnant with my brother and immediately the rash was gone along with all Lupus symptoms. The second she delivered though, her Lupus was back with a vengeance attacking her kidneys and causing glomerulonephritis. For the rest of her life she suffered from pain (fibromyalgia), joint swelling (RA) and rash flair ups when ever she was overly tired or under stress. It was also felt that Mom's recurring primary cancers and eventual death could have been the result of the Lupus destroying her immune system and thus her ability to fight the disease.

Lupus is a strange disease where it can stay external and cause things like external rashes or it can go internal and attack organs. Mom's did both. It also causes fatigue, body pain, a sensitivity to the sun and lowers the bodies ability to fight infection. To control Lupus it takes careful monitoring and often along with the plaquenil a person is on other meds to control or help the symptoms of the other affects of the disease such as dermatologically or like my moms.....controlling her glomerulonephritis. It is a careful dance done endlessly between doctor and patient.

Some of the really negative parts of this disease are that if not recognized, monitored and controlled it can eventually be fatal and it is hereditary. Out of my mother and her 10 other siblings, mom had Lupus and one of her brothers had raynauds. In the next generation, my generation, I have a cousin with full on Lupus and his sister has rheumatoid arthritis. After years of suffering with RA, hers went into remission when she was pregnant and the symptoms didn't seem to come back as strong after the pregnancy. These are the only ones that I really know have symptoms in my generation although there are 49 of us so there could be others. In the next generation....my affected cousins niece has scleroderma. She is in her late teens or early 20's and has been dealing with it for years. All, from Mom down to her great niece are connected. All started showing signs between the ages of 12 (I think) up to their late 20's. All will live the rest of their lives controlling their symptoms and it is likely that future generations will be affected and not necessarily just in that family but likely spread out through the entire family.

Of late I know several people who are close to me that have been diagnosed with auto-immune disease. One particularly close to me has been dealing with symptoms for the better part of a decade and is only now starting to get some definite answers. This person has dealt with a multitude of the symptoms (raynauds, fibromyalgia and the joint swelling and pain of RA). They have gone from being healthy and athletic to feeling as if they can't do anything and they always feel bad. I kind of knew several years ago what the diagnosis was going to be the more I saw and heard and of late.....it is looking like I was right. Sometimes it sucks to be right. This person is starting to get some definite answers and is also starting to get some symptom relief from meds, however the question of "what is next?" is never very far from their mind. It is a disease that because you often can't see the outward effects, it is easy to forget that the individual is suffering. I watched my mom suffer with it and now others close to me are doing it to. I hate it! IT SUCKS!

The good news is....most of the auto-immune diseases are livable. If the symptoms are controlled people can live decades with it. Mom lived over 40 years with it and it was cancer NOT Lupus that she died from (although the Lupus may still have been a factor). Diet and moderate exercise can help the symptoms of most AI diseases along with regular checkups (every 6 months) and knowing your body. As any changes happen they need to be reported and checked out. Also...if you have it, you need to make sure your family from your siblings down to nieces and nephews are aware that the disease exists in your family. The sooner the symptoms are recognized the sooner treatment can begin.

Lupus and all the auto-immune diseases suck. It is a life sentence of doctors appointments, pain, frustration and lots and lots of medication. It can take a healthy person and make them feel like the life is being sucked out of them. Stress and exhaustion can make the symptoms worse. Doctors who don't know these diseases can over look them or misdiagnose them. Once properly diagnosed though and put on the right medication for the right disease, the symptoms can be lessened and with proper care, exercise and diet......life can take on a new kind of normal.

So today......I do not like hate Lupus and all the auto-immune diseases that go with it! I wish for a cure and a pain free and healthy life for all those affected.

Hypocrisy.....It's Not Just for Christians

Just returned from early Mass and as I was leaving, a conversation I overheard the other day was playing in my head. It was a conversation I have heard lots of times. I have no idea who these two individuals were but they were talking about Christians and hypocrisy. "How can she call herself a Christian and be such a hypocrite?" was the first comment. Of course it was followed by her friend saying, "That is just typical Christian BS. They talk like they are superior and then they act like that." The whole conversation makes me sad because it is a sentiment shared by many and in light of full disclosure, even I myself have felt like this a time or two about individuals I have known. It wasn't until very recently though, that I realized it is easy to miss the big picture.

Hypocrisy is not a trait restricted to only Christians, but whether admitted or not, it appears that Christians in society get held to a higher standard than say an atheist or Muslim. Hypocrisy however, is a trait shared by all humans and not just Christians. I would venture to say that there is not a human alive above the age of 10 who has not at one point or another been a hypocrite. Religion and Christianity have nothing to do with it. I will ask though, are Christians hypocrites because they are Christian or are they Christians because they are hypocrites? Before you answer that....think about a few things.

Christians are NOT perfect humans. We are merely humans just like everyone else. The only difference is that by choosing Christianity we are saying that we know just how imperfect we are and that we really want to do better. As Christians we are a constant work in progress with a desire to achieve the best spiritually and physically for the greater glory of God. That doesn't mean that everything we do shows it, it just simply means we are trying. It is kind of like a person who is overweight that wants to lose weight. Of course their game plan is to workout, eat healthy and in the end be healthy, but there are many times during that journey that you might catch them not living up to what they should be doing. It doesn't mean their goals have changed or that they want to be thin and healthy any less, it just means they are human and have stumbled. Christianity is the same.

As Christians we know what the end game is....HEAVEN. We also know that the only way to achieve that is to live a life as close to Christlike as possible. This includes loving one other, taking care of those less fortunate, following the Ten Commandments and yes....not being hypocritical. However, the human part of us stumbles, sometimes daily and don't get me wrong, professing to be a certain way in a crowd and acting completely opposite of that in private is in fact hypocritical, but as I said.....it is not a product of being a Christian.....it is a product of being human.

On the heels of saying that, let me also ask...why just Christians? Christians get the brunt of society's haters. Why are Christians the singled out sect? Why are atheist, pagans, Muslims, etc not held to such a high standard as Christians seem to be? They are just as devoted to their beliefs (or non beliefs) as Christians and they can also be just as hypocritical and yet I have never heard someone say, "That is what is wrong with atheists. They are all a bunch of hypocrites." I know some atheists pretty darn well and their lack of belief in God does not equal a lack of hypocritical words and actions.

Now back to my original question....are Christians hypocrites because they are Christian or are they Christians because they are hypocrites? I would say that the latter applies. Christians can be hypocrites, liars and sinners in general. We sometimes speak out of turn, are hateful, judgmental and cruel. We know this about ourselves and they are things we know are both wrong and we want to change. This is why we turn to God. We ask Him to help us be the best parents/children/siblings/friends/humans/Christians we can be. Sometimes we live up to our faith and sometimes we fall, ask for forgiveness and have to start all over again. We are all works in progress taking baby steps in order to find our way. Sadly though, if society catches us not living up to our faith, Christianity as a whole is branded for our human behavior. The whole being judged for the few. It hardly seems fair.

So now if you are reading this and are a Christian, next time you start to talk about someone negatively, judge someone or act in an unChristian way think how others maybe viewing you and ultimately your faith in general. Are you representing your faith well and acting in a Christlike manner or are you stooping to the level of a petty hypocritical human. Is that really how Jesus would do it?  And if you mark "other" when it comes to religion then please stop and think next time you stand in judgement of a person who calls themself Christian. Your lack of faith does not make you superior nor does it give you the right to stand in judgement of another human. Faithful or not, we are all flesh and blood and we all have flaws and weaknesses....so before passing judgement on anyone, it might do us all well to keep that in mind. Remember, hypocrisy..... it's not just for Christians!

Holding

Dear Mentor.....please look the other way as today's blog is likely to be one of those that drives you to the brink and then shoves you over the edge. I didn't blog the first of the week, mainly because I was confused on what day it was both Monday and Tuesday, so I thought I might do a little catch up today.

I have been pretty introspective and soul searchy of late. Life has had more questions than answers and sometimes even the answers confuse me. I have felt like I was in a holding pattern for a while now. Holding for what? I am not sure. I look around and see much progress in many ways, but then I dig a little deeper and there is still so much that needs to be done. This is not a metaphor but reality. This covers my house, my yard and my physical and emotional life. And now I am simply holding.

My basement looks like a disaster area. It drives me crazy. I know remodeling is a work in progress, especially when you can't work on it daily, but my skin crawls every time I walk down to the laundry room. The floor is in different stages of destruction, the drop ceiling is open, I can see wires and vents and I am just over it all. The fact is though....I have at least another month until there is even a semi-finished product. Arrrrggggghhhh

The rest of my house is picked up but not clean. I have no time to clean most days as I am too busy running myself or the kids to this doctor or that one. I hope that by the end of September my doctors visits will be down to only the kids and only occasionally at that. So far in the last month I have had an MRI, a CT, had enough blood taken for three people, taken Z to the cardiologist and I have been to a specialist in breast cancer and had my yearly all-over check up. In the coming weeks I have to see a thoracic surgeon, an endocrinologist, the eye doctor, the dentist and I have to take David to Shriners. Now this is just what I have scheduled to date. Who knows what is going to branch out from these appointments. Hopefully nothing. I am pretty much ready to be done with doctors at this point and I am sure when all is said and done....they will likely feel the same about me.

Part of my introspection has made me realize that a portion of  my holding pattern may in fact have nothing to do with health issues or doctors at all. It may have to do with the passage of time. Fall is my favorite time of year, but this year it is very bittersweet to me. This is the last fall that Z will be in high school. It has really hit me just how fast time is going. Somewhere in my head he is still that little tiny first grader so excited and a little afraid to start to school. He was so small and had been through so much and I just wanted to hold him and protect him that day. Now he is a senior and on his way to becoming an amazing man, but I am not sure I am ready to let go of the little boy. Sigh It doesn't help that David is also a teen now and shaving to boot. My kids aren't little ones anymore and I am feeling time racing. Fear not though....I do know the cure or at least the band-aid for much of this emptier nest feeling. I am slowly but surely adding things for myself to my plate. I am starting to involve myself in things outside my little home world.

Of late I have taken on a couple of part time jobs. One is home based and the other is based on my time and availability. Yes, prayers are being answered. I am also working towards a normal workout routine again and I am also working on the plans for some outside events. One has to do (as I wrote in an earlier blog) with reviving the Dragging Douglas tradition. We are starting small and working our way forward. So as you can see....I am trying hard to stay busy, positive and not let time or circumstance keep me in a holding position for long.

Please don't think that what I am saying here means that I am sad, down or depressed, because I really am not. If anything I am just holding still and carefully choosing my next move. I am tired of jumping from the frying pan into the fire and I really am ready for whatever the next chapter of my life offers. So bring on the fall and the doctors visits which hopefully hold some peace of mind. Bring on the basement, dry wall and paint. Bring on the senior year with all its last first times and bring on my baby shaving. Life is about moving forward whether the road is high and curvy or low and smooth, sometimes though.....we must stop for a minute and hold, look around, decide and then.....let the journey continue on.

A Team is Only as Good as It's Coach

My mom played basketball for Hinton High School in Hinton, OK all her high school years. From what I understand, she was really pretty good and I know she loved the sport. She lettered in it and until just a few years ago, I still had her Letterman jacket. Mom always said that any sports team is only as good as the coach leading them and Mom's coach was by the sound of it....phenomenal.

I don't remember the name of Mom's coach, so from here on I will simply call him Coach, nor am I even sure what position Mom played but I do know what she was taught by Coach and his legacy lives on through his players and their families. According to Mom...Coach believed that you played with integrity and that good sportsmanship was a must in every game, regardless of how the other team acted. Whether you would win or lose, if you played your best and left the court knowing you gave it your all, then you were a winner. No...it was none of this PC stuff about "everyone is a winner whether you play or not." Coach believed that in every game you should expect nothing but the best from yourself and he expected that from every girl on the team. There were no points for merely showing up (don't even get me started on that mam-bee pam-bee philosophy). You had to work to keep your spot on the team and to play in the games, however he felt there was more to the sport than simply skills on the court. There was also respect for each other, the coach, your school, the other team and the fans. You played with integrity and you showed integrity both on and off the court. He also expected the same from both the parents and the fans who showed up to watch the game. Possibly because of these basic and yet important life skills that he instilled in these young women's minds, that Hinton High School team was a tough one to beat and the girls went on after high school to use the rules he taught in all facets of their lives. I know my mom did and she passed those life skills on to us kids.

Because of my early training.....I have always taught my kids respect for others, especially their elders and I have also taught them that it is not about winning or losing but it is all about how you play the game. It doesn't matter whether you are playing football or a board game, the rules still apply. I have followed the rules myself as a parent sitting at sporting events. I feel that sitting there, I am a reflection of my child's team, school and my town and I hope that my actions only bring pride and never shame. Sadly, I feel like Coach, Mom and my generation are quickly becoming the last of a dying breed.

I have almost quit attending sporting events....school or otherwise. The sportsmanship both on and off the field anymore is disheartening to say the least and sad to watch knowing this is how the team is being represented. It is nothing to see players willfully trying to hurt each other, coaches turning a blind eye to foul language and aggressive actions, parents and fans berating the other team and each other and the ever present showboating of players whose ego's far outweigh their actual skills. What used to be fun for all and a source of pride for everyone is now just another lesson in how far our world has drifted from good sense, good values and good taste. It is no longer about how the game is played but about the win.....regardless how that win happens.

The last game (football) I went to I was so disgusted that I vowed not to attend another. From beginning to end it was an exercise in disrespect and bad manners. When the National Anthem was played and the flag appeared at the beginning, there was little respect shown. Men and boys refused to remove their hats, few hands could be seen covering their hearts and people talked and laughed through the entire thing. Even players and coaches seemed to care little that if not for that flag  and what that flag stood for, they might not have the luxury of being on that field. During the game, the coaches on both teams were seen cussing at the referees and screaming obscenities at their players when the points weren't favoring them. Many of the players showed they knew nothing of sportsmanship as they disrespected each other on the field and several times....opposing fans. Then of course there was at least two incidents of showboating. Both times touchdowns were not made by skill but only sheer luck and yet the players twisted, danced and goaded applause as their ego's soared. In the midst of it all were the fans. People with kids sitting right beside them cussed the opposing coach, players and fans in the most vulgar terms and at the concession stand I was witness to tempers flaring almost resulting in hand to hand combat. I stood there wondering just what the hell was happening to us as a people???? Never again.

Many scoff at the old days when coaches held themselves, their teams and their fans to a much higher standard. I have even heard someone say, "It is our right to free speech to say these things at a game." To that I say, "Just because you can say or do something doesn't always mean that you should nor does it mean that it is right." I am sure that if Mom or Coach were still alive today, they would be saddened at what passes for team sports and sportsmanship. By the way, Mom was right as usual. Any team is only as good as it's coach and come to think of it....that philosophy doesn't stop with sports. Any group is only as good as its leader. Without strong leadership....you have nothing....and that is all I am saying on that!

Fact

Fact: For being as narcissistic as I apparently am.....I hate talking about myself directly. These blogs that are "about me" are the hardest blogs I write. This is probably due to the fact that my life is pretty much an open book. You want to know about me? Just read my timeline on facebook and you will probably learn all you need to know and likely lots more you wish you didn't. Tis true people. Facebook has opened us up to the world, body and soul and given us all a venue to throw our life wide open for just about anyone who wants to know us, stalk us or investigate us. And we say we aren't gullible as a people. Bwhahahahahahaha But still.....I really don't like to talk about myself!

Fact: I hate waiting. I have always been an impatient person with the attention span of a gnat. As a kid this drove my parents crazy. As a teenager I could never sit still for fear that something was happening that I might miss. I know this drove my mom over the edge on more than one occasion. As an adult however, karma has bit me squarely in the butt because that is all I seem to do anymore. I wait on hold, wait on meetings, wait in doctors offices, ER's and hospitals and wait on test results. Waiting....one of the things I hate most in life......is now my life. This only proves what I have always known. Karma is a bitch so you best watch out!

Fact: I used to say I never cried. I didn't. Then when my doctor felt that it was better for me "not" to feel the early part of the new millennium and put me on anti-depressants...I not only didn't cry, I felt no emotion whatsoever. Truthfully, there were days when not feeling was a bonus but in the big scheme of things, not feeling makes you not care and quite honestly...if you don't care, then why even get out of bed? You feel like you have hit a wall of nothingness so why bother with anything? Once I went off the meds though, I had several years of unfelt emotion just bursting to get out. I found myself crying at just about anything; a baby bird, a touching commercial or my favorite was when the dryer didn't completely dry the socks. Yeah a sob fest in the laundry was both disturbing and embarrassing at the same time. Now though, I embrace the tears. I have learned to control them in the laundry room but when reading a particularly poignant book or watching an emotional tv scene....all bets are off. If I have not learned much else in life, I have learned never to underestimate the power of a good cry. 

Fact: I can count on one hand with fingers left over, the things in life that I am really good at. Everything else is just smoke and mirrors and a lot of BS. Have you ever heard the phrase, "I know enough to be dangerous?" Well that is me on just about any subject. I know the basics of cleaning but leave me alone with too many different kinds of cleaning products and you may find me on the floor because I have asphyxiated myself because I mixed them.  Give me a DIY project and if there are pictures I might do okay, but if tools are involved....you probably need to have 911 on speed dial. This has always been the story of my life. What I don't know for sure about something, in a pinch...I will fake. This works about 30% of the time. The other 70% usually gets me into hot water....sometimes literally. At my age, I have lived long enough to know a little about a lot, but not a lot about anything. And that folks.....is a little about me!

Going Against the Current

So I am going to ignore the fact that this is my first time blogging this week. I would appreciate it, if you all would do the same. Let's just say that the three day weekend has thrown me off my game. Of course we all know it didn't necessarily have to be a three day weekend. It could have been something shiny, or something pretty or lets face it.....just about anything. But I digress.....

Have you ever been in a body of water where there was a current? Have you ever tried to push against that current? It is not easy and depending how strong the current is....it can be almost impossible. Often in this situation, you have one of two choices. One....you can continue fighting the current and risk injury or even death or two.....you can simply relax and go with the current. Common sense tells us that the second of the two is much easier on life and limb...but sometimes common sense doesn't even figure into it and bottom line, chances are....the current is going to win. Why all the water talk? I'm getting to that.

Of late, I have been struggling with a great deal. Much has been going on in my life and I have been feeling at loose ends as if there was a difficult task at hand with no instruction manual to help me through it. As a Catholic, I have been pulling heavily from my faith but as a human, I have been floundering. It really hasn't been pretty. I was brought up on the belief that God gives us nothing we can't handle. As an adult though, someone I know put a different perspective on that. She said...."God indeed gives us things we can't handle so that we will turn to Him for help." It struck a chord and stuck. I think in light of all the recent events....this was one of those times where He wanted me to turn to Him. I have.

When I realized that I could be facing something that I had absolutely no control over, I have slowly been letting go of control. Thus the water analogy. I have for so long been fighting the current that is God's will......trying desperately to control with my own will. It has been a treacherous battle that has not always served me well in the end. Eventually God's will became much stronger than my own and luckily I have learned that going with the current instead of fighting His will is so much easier. The moment I quit fighting, my fear started subsiding. I realized that I was not given a task without an instruction manual nor was I left to deal on my own. Turning that which I cannot control over to Him is I believe, all He has ever wanted. I guess in my desire to control all in my universe, ever so often I need more than a light tap on the shoulder to get me to see the big picture. Maybe I need a slap upside the head. 

I have been down this road before. First with the loss of my daughter, then David, losing my husband, then my mom and now I am here again. So much I can't control and still I try. Will I never learn? Perhaps I am finally beginning to. It is like a child with a parent. What is insurmountable to the child is nothing more than a speed bump in life to a parent. I think the same goes for us humans and God. What we can't handle.....He can and will. All we need to do is ask. I have. 

I still don't know how this will all play out, but I do know that the answers are there and I am not alone. It is an amazing feeling of peace when you stop fighting the current and "allow" God to be in control. I have.