Going Against the Current

So I am going to ignore the fact that this is my first time blogging this week. I would appreciate it, if you all would do the same. Let's just say that the three day weekend has thrown me off my game. Of course we all know it didn't necessarily have to be a three day weekend. It could have been something shiny, or something pretty or lets face it.....just about anything. But I digress.....

Have you ever been in a body of water where there was a current? Have you ever tried to push against that current? It is not easy and depending how strong the current is....it can be almost impossible. Often in this situation, you have one of two choices. One....you can continue fighting the current and risk injury or even death or two.....you can simply relax and go with the current. Common sense tells us that the second of the two is much easier on life and limb...but sometimes common sense doesn't even figure into it and bottom line, chances are....the current is going to win. Why all the water talk? I'm getting to that.

Of late, I have been struggling with a great deal. Much has been going on in my life and I have been feeling at loose ends as if there was a difficult task at hand with no instruction manual to help me through it. As a Catholic, I have been pulling heavily from my faith but as a human, I have been floundering. It really hasn't been pretty. I was brought up on the belief that God gives us nothing we can't handle. As an adult though, someone I know put a different perspective on that. She said...."God indeed gives us things we can't handle so that we will turn to Him for help." It struck a chord and stuck. I think in light of all the recent events....this was one of those times where He wanted me to turn to Him. I have.

When I realized that I could be facing something that I had absolutely no control over, I have slowly been letting go of control. Thus the water analogy. I have for so long been fighting the current that is God's will......trying desperately to control with my own will. It has been a treacherous battle that has not always served me well in the end. Eventually God's will became much stronger than my own and luckily I have learned that going with the current instead of fighting His will is so much easier. The moment I quit fighting, my fear started subsiding. I realized that I was not given a task without an instruction manual nor was I left to deal on my own. Turning that which I cannot control over to Him is I believe, all He has ever wanted. I guess in my desire to control all in my universe, ever so often I need more than a light tap on the shoulder to get me to see the big picture. Maybe I need a slap upside the head. 

I have been down this road before. First with the loss of my daughter, then David, losing my husband, then my mom and now I am here again. So much I can't control and still I try. Will I never learn? Perhaps I am finally beginning to. It is like a child with a parent. What is insurmountable to the child is nothing more than a speed bump in life to a parent. I think the same goes for us humans and God. What we can't handle.....He can and will. All we need to do is ask. I have. 

I still don't know how this will all play out, but I do know that the answers are there and I am not alone. It is an amazing feeling of peace when you stop fighting the current and "allow" God to be in control. I have.