Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Dating 101 or How to Find a Man in Lisaland.....Dating Site Crazy

Last week was an eye opener to me about the dating world. This is definitely not my mothers dating world. Heck...it isn't even my dating world. It is this strange place in the online world where scary people spend their time lying, trying to "hook up" (not actually date) and feel the need to send complete strangers pictures of their genetiles. Yeah...that is the week I had.

You know I have lived in the town I live in for the better part of 30 years. I have heard over and over that you can't find love where you live. Well, maybe not be at least in this town I know what I am getting. You know the guys that work hard, the ones that work too hard and the ones who don't work at all. You know the bikers, the bullies and the bullsh!tters. You know the ones who are really good and the ones who are really bad. You know the liars, the cheaters and the schemers. You know the sinners and the saints....and yes....my town has them all. But at least here....you know what you are getting. It is a whole new world on dating sites.

I belonged to three (3) dating sites for 9 days 13 hours 25 minutes and 15 seconds.....and then I was done. Now mind you, one of the sites was just an average site, one was the site where supposedly they checked you out right down to your blood type and asked you literally hundreds of questions and one.....was a Christian site. In those 9 days I had the date from hell, I had emails asking me information on my financial status, asking me if I was willing to have sex on the first date, asking me if I was willing to have a threesome with him and another supposed member, asking me if I was into bondage, and one asking me if I would do it with another woman so he could watch. Sadly....this was not even the worst of it. I also received two pictures of two different men's penises (neither of which I would have been putting on display), another picture which Guiness Book of World Records should be notified about, and a full frontal picture of a guy who obviously thought a picture of his nude body was an ice breaker to get to know me. In between all the fun dates, pornographic pictures and inquiring emails......I also got blasted by women from every directions. Apparently dating sites are dog eat dog....and the b!tches (trust me I don't use the word lightly) wanted these dogs for themselves. I got called every name you can imagine. I was told by some women to stay away from certain men (they were already someones property) and I was even propositioned by a woman. I guess the "searching for a man" alluded her.  It was a crazy world that this small town girl had no idea she was getting into.

Now I went into this thing fairly open minded and I do realize that these sites are only moderated to a point. If you get an interesting picture or message from someone, much like facebook you can report it, but undoubtedly little is done as two of the pictures were sent from men who had been members for over a year. I seriously doubt I was the first woman on the site who was given a peek at their goods. Perhaps if I was really desperate in finding someone, I would take the time to sift through all the crazies on there to find the ones who aren't. I am sure there are perfectly nice people there....but I don't have the time and after my 9 day stint....I don't have the desire either. The funny thing was......that before I started this whole internet dating thing....I had several people encourage me and tell me of their great experiences. Since though....I have had numerous people tell me of similar experiences as mine. Two people I know were even stalked by would be suitors....one ending in an arrest. In my life....I  have my own kind of insane chaos.....I don't need full on crazy to add to the mix.

Needless to say.....internet dating is not my thing. I am not sorry I tried it though. I did learn a lot and it was a good way to move forward in this whole dating thing. And no....I haven't given up on dating. If anything it has made me more determined to find someone who is only Lisaland crazy and not full tilt dating site insane. I am still confident they exist. My next big adventure will be the shooting range. Now more than ever it seems.....I have reason to take out my aggression with a firearm and ammunition. I still am in search of a good support group although my chosen group may have changed. Do they have a support group for those that have been traumatized by dating sites? Just askin'!

So here is hoping that this week is much better than last and that all of you have a truly wonderful Tuesday!

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

Laughing! Would have thought you would have fit right into the dating sight craziness. You are more apt to meet mr. right now instead of mr. right. So if your town is so great where are all the would be guys? Guess they know you too well. Maybe you would be better off giving a dating sight another try.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous,

You're an ass without a friend. Also known as a liberal.

Steve J.

J'nelle said...

Girl, it sounds like you have been through it. I have heard a couple of horror stories of about dating sites myself. You just never know what you are getting online. I have faith your Mr. Right is out there. He will show himself when you least expect it. As for Anonymous, GFY!

Anonymous said...

Actually Mr. Steve J. I am very much a conservative. I would vote for Ryan in a heart beat if he would run. My politics however have nothing to do with my comments on this blog and yet you always seem to imply that they do. Apparently no one can disagree with Ms. Cmom and if they do, they are automatically, friendless and liberal. I can't help but laugh at your reasoning. YOU sir are why us conservatives get such a bad name. You make us all look like engage mouth before thinking far right wing crazies. Maybe when comment on a non-political blog you would serve yourself and our party better by keeping your political views to yourself. All you do is make yourself look stupid and conservatives in general look inept.

littlemdl said...

Steve J. I totally agree with your statement! You are spot on! Oh Lisa how I have been down that road! I had some really great experiences with online dating and some not so great experiences. One guy actually ended up going to my church and I had to call the church office to put a stop to his harrassment. I also called his place of employment. Showed him not to mess with me but it was a little scary. Some of these people on these sites have been doing that kind of dating so long its all they know and unfortunately there are women out there that give it to them. Good for you for being you and not falling for the crap!

DaninDean said...

Cmom don't give up. There is someone out there for you. I am glad you tried. You will find your man and he will be lucky to get you. Still loving your blog and am now reading everyday. Dean got carmel apple pie last night and loved it. Thanks and hang in there.

Blogreader said...

While I think Anonymous is full of shit, I am not sure what politics has to do with any of this. I am very conservative but I am not sure what purpose is served by calling someone a liberal on a blog about dating. That being said, Anonymous you are grating on everyones nerves. Maybe it is time you gave cmom a rest. Oh and cmom, sorry for your experience, but your blog sure did make me laugh today.

Marni said...

CMom...I will just say good for you for stepping out of that box and at least trying. Maybe Online dating sites are not for you...but at least you know that now. So now you can move on from that and try something else.

Anonymous....let me just say this...None of us are against people that dont AGREE with Cmom and her life. We ALL know that each of us has an opinion and are free to express them. BUT! Yes there is a but here...I will teach you something that I taught my own kids and maybe you were not taught this. You can pretty much say anything you like...ITS JUST ALL IN THE WAY THAT YOU SAY IT. You can let someone know how you feel but you do not have to be mean or ugly about how you say it. Lesson here...when Cmom responds to something you have written...she is always very nice about what and how she says it...even though she is responding to a mean and hurtful post YOU made about HER. So you see it can be done. You should try it. That is the problem that many of us have....with the way you respond many will think that you are a judgemental stick up your ass....sitting in a room full of cats....kind of person. Face it....that is the way you come across.
Anyway......just something for you to think about! And by the way....Im a HUGE fan of Steve J! Sorry!!!

A Fan said...

Love today's blog. I especially like the fact that even though you obviously had a horrible experience on dating sites, that you never named names nor did you completely dog dating sites. My husband and I met on a dating site and have been married 4 years now. I do know that some of the sites are awful, especially the free ones. It was not until I joined a pay site that I felt comfortable. They are much more carefully watched and screened. I hope that you are soon as lucky as I feel and please keep up this blog. I love it. You have left me laughing to tears many times. Thank you.

Marni said...

Oh and P to the S......Anon, You say youre a Conservative....But then you single out a single mom that works very hard to take care of her two children, one that is a special needs child.
A REAL Conservative believes in helping the helpless and the Clueless to GET A CLUELESS.

Anonymous said...

Marni, you must have that kind of conservatism confused with being a bleeding heart liberal. I simply call cmom's blogs as I see them. Honestly though, cmom seems to take care of herself and her kids just fine and since I have yet to hear her complain that the government is not giving her enough money to stay home, sit on her rear end and watch Maury, it doesn't sound like she needs my pity or a hand out. So where again was I not being a "true" conservative?

JT said...

When did this become a debate of someone's politics? I thought we were discussing cmom's dating life. I had no idea that an opinion, no matter how stupid or ill thought out, on her blog got someone called out for their political affiliation. I happen to actually be a democrat and I love cmom's blog. Does that make me a bad liberal? I am confused. Steve J. and Marni, please help me out as you two seem to be the ones putting such great emphasis on liberal and conservative views. You also seem to be getting it wrong too.
Sorry cmom but I am kind of sick of reading all the political slandering on your non-political blogs. I am however a fan of yours and I hope you keep blogging away.

JT
Wichita, KS

Cmom said...

WOW!!! This will teach me to not go back and read comments. LOL It has been a busy day and really I like to read all my comments in the evening but took an early peek because of an email I received. Here's the deal. I am all about free speech and these comments are free speech at work. I assume you all are adults and can stand up for yourselves and since I have never blocked anonymous for his/her opinions, I really don't plan on blocking anyone else either. It apparently bothers some that political parties or beliefs were brought into all of this. On that point..... all I can say is that I wish my political blogs got this much political attention, but other than that I simply ask that you all keep it semi-civil out of respect for each other and out of respect for the queen of Lisaland.....ME! Thank you all for reading and commenting!!!! :)

Anonymous said...

Good blog. Bad men. Men shouldn treat wimen in such a way. I say u do much better. Glad u no longer do that date sight. Not good. Why so much fightn here? This blog a good happy blog. Why not have happy compliments and not fight. I read and I like. No politics we just need peace.

Daz

Marni said...

I will digress...with the understanding that this is not the place to call out others on their politics. Although I will state that being called out and put down for how you raise your children, your religion, or how you live your life, is to me, on the same level. Along with calling someone lazy, whining, fat, a bad mother, an airhead, judgemental, insane, all this without really knowing the person.... I could go on but wont. I suppose all of that is ok to call out. But like I said, "I" will digress in the politics mention. But thats ok....I see where Anon stands....I will continue to enjoy Cmoms blogs, agree and disgree where I like and Anon can enjoy throwing out their judgemental posts while petting his cats.
And lets notice that I have no issue with saying I was out of line on this point and maybe others will take a lesson from that!

Anonymous said...

Anonymous,

Bamm! I hit a nerve didn't I? How's it feel?

You're no true conservative. A real conservative recognizes and admires a single mother who works hard, puts the needs of others before herself and has a special needs child.

Also a TRUE conservative is compelled to help the helpless and instructs the clueless on how to get a clue. You my moronic friend are driven by some anxiety disorder that compels you to hurt others for own self-satisfaction.

Did I hit a hotspot? Good. Are you enjoying someone singling you out daily?

Now maybe you'll turn turn your spineless ADD attention dysfunction towards me. I can take it all day everyday. Pick me. I dare you twit.

As for everyone else, politics has nothing to do with this blog, but either does the endless immature rants of Anonymous. Its time for this Obama drone to go elsewhere to fill his helium ego container. And conservatism is not a political party Anonymous. Its an ideology. Please read some books and turn Dr. Phil and MSNBC off for a change.

So grow up Anonymous. But until then, fill free to let me know when you want to get together for lunch. I'm sure we could enjoy a nice meal together as we discuss whatever is troubling you. Hopefully its me.

I'll even pick up the check. I'd hate for you to think that I'm rude.

Sincerely,

Steve J.

Thiry said...

The stupid ,clueless Anon strikes again...you know what they say when you assume...or maybe you don't...you assume Cmom hasn't a job and drains the government of money...and watches Maury...speaking out your ass...you do quite well at that....

karensmith said...

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