Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Dating 101 or How to Find a Man in Lisaland.....A Party of Two

I have to laugh....Dani and Dean really started something last week. All week my email and facebook messages have been full of people with their suggestions for me to get out and get going in the dating world. I have even had some rather harsh criticisms as to the fact that some think I am "scared" and all talk! To you I say......you are absolutely right! This is one of the scariest ventures that I have ever set forth on in my life. As I said last week....dating is a young persons game. The older you get....the harder it becomes. Especially if you have been out of the game for a very long time. I can honestly say.....I have not been out on a date in this millennium. That is really a scary thought.

I did however, after last weeks ideas....decide to get a little pro-active. I have actively been searching out some sort of a group of like minded people to attend. I am not sure that a widow/widowers group is right for me. I am truly afraid there might be too much sadness involved there and that is not the direction I want to go. I have though been looking into groups of parents with kids who are special needs. I am kind of alone in the world (at least my little world) where this is concerned. Even if there are no available bachelors just dying to date me there....I might find people who will help me not to feel so on my own where David is concerned.

I have also decided to give myself an interesting present for my birthday. I am going to the gun range and do some target practice. I don't own a gun and probably am not going to own a gun. I do however like to shoot. Back a long time ago.....I used to go shoot skeet with an old boyfriend of mine. He taught me how to shoot and after much bruising.....I finally got the hang of it. I am sure a hand gun is different, but it will be fun to learn and you just never know who I might meet there. Worst case scenario....I get my Annie Oakley on and learn some sweet shooting skills. Best case scenario.....well who knows? 

Many suggested to me bars. My mother always used to say....you will never meet the man of your dreams in a bar. I laughed long and hard because that is exactly where I met my husband. Fact is though.....the only bar I go to is RD's and I sincerely doubt that my Mr. Right has any frequent flyer miles there. So in all reality.....bars are probably not where I will be hanging out.

I had one reader give me a stern email reprimand. Ms. Cmom, While it appears in your blog that you do not want to end up alone, your actions seem to say different. It appears that you are more in like with the idea of being with someone than you are of actually finding someone. Do you think you are the only one in your shoes? Do you think that others have not had to saddle up and ride again after losing someone they loved either through death or divorce? Love will not come knocking at your door while you stand hiding behind the curtain. You must put your self out there and show the world that you are ready to live again. Then and only then will you find the one who is meant to be with you. So quit talking and get out there and do something. Haven't you heard the saying...."A little less talking and a little more action!" Now go get some action!

Hmmmm....action? How about we start with lunch and see where that leads? But I do understand what is being said and I do take the words to heart. Bottom line is....I am scared! But scared accomplishes nothing. Short of asking people out myself (I don't think I will ever be daring enough for that), I am ready to start putting some effort back into my dating life. I plan on starting back to the gym....and maybe I will attempt to go at a time when people my own age are working out.

Someone told me the other day that it was pretty obvious that I wasn't desperate to find a man....or I would be all over every man I saw. She then followed that up with.....that is a good thing. Men hate desperate. I laughed. No....I am just single......not desperate and for the most part, I am pretty self sufficient and not too terribly needy (although I could still use a good handy man!), but I do miss the companionship. I miss someone to cook for (or....ummm.....cook for me...whichever). I miss someone to talk to and to laugh with, but I guess I am not really desperate enough for any of it.....or I'd have done found me a man by now.  So here goes nothing. Not desperate, not really needy.....just ready to be a party of two....instead of always just one!

Well...hope your Tuesday is bright, cheerful and full of nothing but good things. Happy Tuesday everyone.


Anonymous said...

Do you know how you sound or are you out to just deliberately provoke those who read your blog? Still with the handyman? What kind of man do you propose to get with a gun? That sounds pretty desperate to me. Maybe you just need to stay at home behind that curtain.

Michelle said...

Geez anonymous.....get a sense of humor!

Marni said...

Well lets just say, some poeple just dont get sarcasam!!
Love your write today!! The group idea is great!! And like you said even if you dont find someone there it will help you connect with others that are going through what you are going through.
And the gun range....LOVE IT!! I love going and shooting up some targets. Nothing releases tension like holding a gun and just letting go. AND hey.....I know of some pretty great guys that hang out at the gun ranges!!!!!!
Listen....the more you start getting out there and just enjoying your life, that in itself will draw others to you. You just keep stepping out of that box and wonderful things will happen for you girl!!!

Thiry said...

Perhaps a policeman or military man or a hunter, who in my opinion are all good choices, generally the criminals don't hang out at the shooting range, once again stupid. I cannot imagine how scary it would be having a special needs child and wondering who will be accepting of him. Our children are everything to us. You will never know though if you don't at least try. Didn't your mom ever tell you, there is someone out there for each of us. I know you had your someone, but there is bound to be someone else out there.

Random Girl said...

I think the ideas that you mentioned are great ones to pursue, not specifically to find someone to date, but more so because it is something you enjoy or could benefit from and that will make you a happier person in general and you can't lose when that happens!

Anonymous said...

I am not a fan of guns and I really don't think they have a place, not even in a tongue and cheek blog piece. Men want women to act like ladies not whores with guns. But then again, maybe lady is not what you are going for. Just a thought.

Another Anonymous

Cmom said...

LOL...okay AA....guns don't make women whores, sleeping around however does. Just saying!

Marni said...

LOL! Anon.....wow....women with guns = whores!! Then I will say my hubby is one of the luckest guys around...cuse Im one of those whores with a gun!! Wow...way to NOT judge!!!

J'nelle said...

I don't love guns either, but I don't think they make a woman a whore. WOW! It is 2011 and planet earth. Where the hell are you from AA? I think Cmom needs to go and try new things and if guns are it, then go for it.

ILOVE MY GUN said...

Men may come and men may go, but my 44 mag lives on forever.

Anonymous said...


You have got to be one of the most clueless people outside of politicians, government agencies and the press that spews such a high level of ignorance.

Have you ever handled a gun? Do you know anyone that owns guns responsibly and correctly? Have you ever worn a jockstrap of ever had a need for one?

I am a gun owner and have trained in karate and marksmanship for years. Not so I can use the skills, but because I want to NEVER use either in self defense. And knowing to do either one teaches and builds confidence. The result is I have children that are very outgoing, know responsibility and are active learners who perform at a high level in their education. Yes, I've taught my children how to handle themselves and trusted them to make wise decisions when I'm not there.

And I'm also proud to say that not one of my children prey on the feelings of others to make themselves feel better.

So stop. Look in the mirror and think about the reflection you're seeing. And while you're at it, please turn off Oprah and Dr. Phil. You're embarrassing yourself and don't even know it.

Get a hint. You're being a dork.

Steve J.

Mrs. Buttinski said...

How did all of this go from dating to gun issues? Really? Anonymous, why are you picking this girl apart? In my experience it is just one of two things. You either are jealous of her or want to date her. Nothing else makes sense. No one puts themselves in charge of another human being without wanting some sort of attention. My bet is that you are wanting her attention so badly that bad attention is better than no attention at all. The fact that she rarely replies to you seems to eat you alive and cause you to act out more. It is so sad that this is the way you go about showing attraction. In the adult world, we simply say, my name is____________. It sure saves a lot of time and a lot of embarrassment for all involved. Also, AA what do shooting a gun and being a whore have in common? Are you like related to Anonymous or something because it seems that your ridiculous post suggest the same gene pool.

Thiry said...

It is so scary knowing there are really people like anon and Another Anon. Here in this world.