Road Rage Anyone?

Wednesday already? Can it really be? Wednesday's are always difficult for me to come up with things to blog about, so I went to the one who probably knows me best and has some fairly decent stories on me....Z. I bet you thought I was going to say Thiry. Ohhhhh noooooo! Thiry is bound by a confidentiality contract. She could tell you things....but then I'd have to kill her. So Z was my go to guy. I asked him....what is something I could tell about myself. Without missing a beat he said "road rage." Huh? I feigned innocence but I knew what he was talking about. He said...."tell about your massive road rage." Hmmmm....massive eh? Well he has a point.

Okay....while I do cuss some, I try to keep it to a minimum and where the stronger words seem to have creeped out the older I have gotten, I really try to watch it. However, put me behind the wheel of a car....and all bets are off. I seem to become this deranged psychopath with a strong affinity for the F bomb. I think this is why Z keeps headphones in and David starts pointing at the DVD player the minute we get in the van. They know that the first time someone cuts me off, drives too slow or tailgates me....the gloves are off and the mouth goes into full throttle.

I have no idea where this comes from but since the day I got my first license....this has been my life. My parents absolutely refused to ride with me when I was younger and my friends will NOT let me drive them anywhere. Although come to think about it....it may not be my road rage them keeps them from letting me drive. Hmmmmm.......But I digress. Honestly....I have tried to stop the rage, especially when I get behind someone who is 108 years old going 20 mph in the fast lane in rush hour traffic. I try to tell myself to shut up and remember that someday I too will be 108 going 20 and be cursed at like a sailor. But then as I pass him he only moves from his hunched over position and removes his two o'clock hand....long enough to flip me off with his 108 year old finger and I am pissed all over again. TRUE STORY! That actually happened about a month ago. I was so shocked I almost drove off the shoulder. So apparently road rage has no age limits. Good to know!

It really is bad though and when we are on trips and I get lost (which I always get lost on trips) Lord help everyone in the car with me and anyone with their window down. When we got lost in BFE while traveling to MO in June, the curves were so tight and the speed limit was 25mph. I was already a bundle of nerves knowing that if we wrecked we would likely go over the edge and be eaten by gators. (There are gators in MO....right?) Then some idiot, probably a local, got on my bumper and road it for miles. He wanted to pass but there was no room for me to scoot over and the curves were one after another with no way to see far enough ahead to pass. At times it didn't seem like you could have gotten a piece of paper between our bumpers and all the while...the inside of my car was turning blue.  A couple of times the words that flew from my mouth even I needed to look up. Z was blushing before all was said and done and David had his hands over his ears. It was not one of my finer moments and the guy whose panties were in a wad trying to pass me......had the nerve to flip me off as he finally passed. What is with these people?  I believe that 15 mph is a perfectly respectable speed when you are scared and on curves like that. Obviously Mr. Pedal to the Metal did not agree.

So why do I have such road rage? I have no idea. Tim and I rarely used to fight....but when I drove... he and I went at it. He had his own brand of road rage, but he was a novice compared to me. Whenever we would go somewhere....the kids would always beg for Dad to drive, because when Mom drove....she would get mad and then her and dad would get into a fight and she always ended up flipping someone off. Tim  used to say that I was the sweetest girl God ever put on this planet, until I got behind the wheel and then I became just pure evil! I would have been really mad at him had this not been true. I really think I just become possessed. Z hates having his friends in the car....although I do my best to bite my tongue and not open my mouth when anyone else is in the car, but even then.......sometimes it just can't be helped.

Someone asked me one time what I would do if in one of my little road tantrums someone stopped and confronted me right then and there. At the time I was asked this....I probably would have shut my mouth and likely apologized. Now a days though, with my filter being broke and all....I would probably just get myself shot.

I really do have some respectable qualities....qualities that I wouldn't mind passing onto my children, however my demeanor behind the wheel of the car is not one of those qualities. I was scared to death the whole time Z was in drivers ed. I just knew that I had passed on my driving dis-etiquette to him. I was holding my breath waiting for THAT phone call. Luckily, at least for now....this particular quality seems to have missed a generation. Let's hope it stays that way.

So now you know the truth. I have an evil side. Like you probably didn't already suspect as much. bwhahahahaha Here is hoping that you have a wonderful Wednesday. Happy Wednesday everyone!