Sunday, September 4, 2011

Settled

Things sort of feel settled today. Don't know whether it is because of the wonderful rain we had last night and cool temps this morning, or because I got a lot of cleaning done yesterday and got my bills on track, or maybe it was because I was sick as a dog last night and today I feel a little better. I am thinking it is a combination of it all.

Yesterday during cleaning, about 3 p.m. my head started hurting so bad that I was feeling sick all over. I had to quit and lay down. I must have conked out the minute my bed hit those clean sheets because I didn't wake up until about 5:30 p.m.. at which time my whole body was in pain and I was really sick! I couldn't lay, I couldn't sit and I couldn't stand. I was miserable. After going through several hours of this.....I blissfully found my way back to sleep. This morning I feel as if a truck hit me and my body aches, but I honestly feel better. I have some things I absolutely "have" to do today, but other than that.....NOTHING! Maybe this is what has been coming on all week and part of why I have had the headaches and felt so cranky. Who knows? All I know is....I am glad this happened on the weekend and not during the week when I had to get up and try to go to work the next day. I really don't think I could have made it.

The cooler weather is truly a gift from God. I was thinking last night when I woke up and was listening to the glorious rain that everything really does happen for a reason. Before this heat wave hit back in the spring.....temps had been pretty cool and people where complaining that the warmth would never come. I even heard people say.....I don't care how hot it gets as long as summer gets here. Well....it got here, with a vengeance and those same people were the first to complain as the heat dragged on. The heat is broken now (hopefully no more hundreds this year) and once again God has answered prayers. Do you think anyone realizes that God listens, and often gives us what we want? Only we either don't get that this is what is happening or once we get it we become unsatisfied with our choice....and in turn blame God for whatever unpleasant consequences come from our choice? We are surely an ungrateful world.

Yesterday....up until the sickness hit......was a really great day. Z and I were cleaning house (a job we both hate) and we were talking. I love days like that where it just seems it is him and I (David too of course) and we talk about everything. We take turns listening to music and Z plans ahead for his special acts of the year for the school music programs. This leads to conversations about school, kids at school, and often....the future. I learn more about Z in these infrequent house cleaning sessions than I do all year long. I know...I know. You are thinking....well perhaps if you cleaned more often....and to that I say.....probably not gonna happen! Aren't fall and spring plenty????

But I digress.....I really enjoyed reacquainting myself with this young man. I also noticed how different he is now from this time last year. Last year he was so up in the air about who he was, who he wanted to be and how he felt about himself. Pretty typical freshman stuff. He was playing with the goth/emo look and he was lost. This year though.....it seems as if he knows more about who he is and what he wants. Of course he is far from having it all figured out, but now he is asking the hard questions about life, he is putting some things into perspective and he is starting to prioritize for his future. Listening to him talk.....I see that he is starting to realize who he is as a person and what he likes....not what he thinks other want him to like. He.....like me today.....seems more settled. It was a nice day and one that I wish could have gone on for a whole lot longer than it did.

Needless to say.....church is not happening for me today. The last thing I need to do is go to the Villa and give all those poor elderly people what I had last night. And while I will miss having Father direct his sermon at me (wonder what he does when I am not there) I know that I am better off right where I am this morning. While my body is not in a pew.....my heart and mind feel very spiritual today. I see God working and I feel His presence all through my life. I see Him working through my children and most of all....today....I feel Him in my heart. All in all....not a bad way to feel on a Sunday in September.

Here is hoping that you are feeling settled....happy....and enjoying this three day weekend. Happy Sunday everyone!


2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Fantastic read! I like that Z kid. Good job raising him!

Marni said...

It can be so amazing when at moments, when you're spending time with your kids an it hits you. You think "hey I didn't do such a bad job!" I love how you give your kids room to try new things (like goth) so they can see what it's about. But still holding those boundaries that are very important!! You will reach a time where they themselves tell you thank you. Believe me it happens!!!
Hope you're feeling better!!