Today has been beyond a doubt the most frustrating day of my life. I have been told....and it makes sense, that before I move one inch further with all of this business, I NEED a lawyer who has my back and is in my corner. Sounds simple in theory....right? Trust me....it is not!
I have spent literally hours on the phone calling agencies, lawyers, legal aid, Aging and Disabilities and the list goes on and on. They all agree that this is a BAD situation. That it is not fair and that yes.....I need an attorney, but apparently because of Davids disability issues along with the eviction, I need a specialized attorney that simply does not exist. I have called so much that I think I have killed my phone as I picked it up to make yet another call and it buzzed a pathetic buzz or perhaps it was a gasp.....and then it went dead. Now is it dead dead or just begging for some much needed rest? We shall see. At any rate, without my phone, I am left to ponder my situation and pondering is not good for me today.....so here we meet again. I am three for three.
"I am a woman on the edge", in the words of the great Roseanne Conner. I know exactly how that feels. The kicker this morning was one attorney I talked to told me that I need my parents divorce papers as this house was purchased as an agreement my parents made post divorce. I told the attorney this and that there was no court ordered anything in 1971 as my parents agreed in court to leave the marriage pretty much with what they came into it with aside from minimal child support from my dad to my mom. Once out of court, Mom and Dad came up with their own agreement which both agreed was Dad providing us a home. This was not the first home Dad purchased for us, but it was the one that we eventually called our forever home and long after my brother and I moved out, my dad considered it my mothers home until her death in 2002. That is when he offered it to me with the promise of the home being deeded to me upon his death. Trying to explain this to a lawyer though is like talking to a wall. You simply can't do it.
He insisted I needed their divorce decree. So against my better judgement I went downstairs and went through my mom's trunk of old papers and keepsakes. If she had it that is where I figured it would be. To my shock I found letters my dad had written my mother post divorce, begging her back. I knew how that turned out as I lived it. She succumbed and the idealic life that was promised in those letters died about five minutes after we moved back in. I had never read those letters before nor knew they existed. It was kind of gut punch to read them and in a funny way, relive those events that happened so many years ago.....all over again. This was not the time nor the day to be hit with that kind of nostalgia. And as you may have guessed.....no divorce papers.
Today is the first day that my mind has clearly processed this all. I have been working in auto pilot since Saturday. Today though, reality is setting in and I am more than aware of the daunting task ahead of me. Part of me wants to keep my cool and move forward, but there is a very distinct part of me that wants to scream, yell and throw the tantrum of all tantrums.
No life isn't fair but David doesn't deserve this. David has had a tough road since the moment he left the womb and he has managed to fight through so much and still laugh, smile and inspire, but this.....this will harm David and I just can't allow that, so I straighten my tiara, talk sweetly to my phone and prepare to hit the ground running again this afternoon. Tantrum over.
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