This morning I awoke with a raging sore throat (probably too dry in my room) and a headache (big shock). I was tired and irritable and I just did not have the energy to get up and go to church. I just felt worn out. This past week has been full of hills and valleys. I had my MRI (not pleasant), waited anxiously for my results and the results from the tests that some other friends were also undergoing. Luckily...we all came out okay. Lindsay left, school is starting and I set myself up for something big that could actually mean a lot to several people. I watched several relationships crumble and I saw the start of something really great. I talked to a couple of old friends that I hadn't seen in years, I maybe found some closure to past events......and I survived yet another year of a wedding anniversary.....alone. I have gone from very anxious, to very happy, to very mad, to frustrated and finally to calm with a side of acceptance. It truly has been quite a week.
So as I was driving home....I began to think about spirituality and religion, faith and personal beliefs. God said Remember the Sabbath, to keep it holy. What did He actually mean by keep holy? Did He mean you must attend church every Sunday, or did He mean you must respect that day, think of Him, honor Him through prayer and meditation and use the day to spend with family and friends....not laboring? Being part of the Catholic faith....we are taught keeping the Sabbath Holy means regular church attendance along with receiving Holy Communion as often as possible. So truly....missing Mass is frowned upon and deemed a sin if the lack of attendance is due to anything other than illness or an emergency. Since I made it to the store....I doubt my missing Mass could be viewed as illness related. More like..... too lazy and whiny to crawl out of bed and do what I needed to. That is likely why I felt so guilty and "caught" when she approached me.
To me....religion, spirituality and faith come in many shapes and many forms. We all believe in something. Even if we believe that there is nothing out there but us, and that when we die....it is the end......that is still a belief. Whether we are Catholic/Protestant/Atheist/Agnostic/Pagan/Buddhist/Muslim or anything else....we all believe in something. How we exercise that belief and project it to the world is personal and up to each of us. Our faith or lack there of, defines us on this earth and will likely define us in the hereafter....whether we choose to believe one exists or not.
I believe I will look at this particular Sunday as a beginning. School is starting, I am moving forward and I have a new project. Except for some minor glitches....all is well in Lisaland and I am ready to move forward. Next week God....I promise to do better, but until then, may you all have a Happy and Blessed Sunday!